A Christmas Story
by Hannahfour
Summary: It's Hannah's first Christmas as a McFadden, and it's her favorite time of year. She wants this Christmas to be the best Christmas ever for them, but does she go overboard and try to change too much of what they're used to? Especially for Guthrie and Heidi?
1. Chapter 1

I look at the tray of rings. They're all so pretty. I pick one up and try it on. It's way too big for my finger, but I bet it would fit Hannah's finger perfectly. I put it back and pick up another one. No, this isn't it. Then I see the gold ring with three diamonds. That's it! That's the one I want to buy for Hannah!

The lady behind the counter comes back over and asks me if I want to buy it.

"How much is it?"

She takes the ring from me and looks at it carefully. "Twenty dollars plus tax."

What! Twenty dollars! I only have five.

"Do you need some time to think about it?" She asks.

I stare at her.

She hands me the ring. "Let me help the lady over there," she says pointing to her cash register, "and then I'll be right back. But, you need to decide quickly because these rings are selling fast. I've already sold five today." I can see from the empty slots on the tray that she's right.

When she walks away I look at the ring. It's so beautiful. Hannah would love it, but I can't afford it. But it's perfect! I look at the lady at the cash register. The lady she's helping is buying something and she's giving her the money now. I have to think fast. I close my hand over the ring and look around me. No one is around so I slowly put my hand in my pocket and slip the ring in it. Then I slowly take my hand out of my pocket and pick up another ring. I wait at the counter for the lady to come back.

"Did you decide yet? It's a really pretty ring." She stares at me and waits for my answer.

"No, I can't afford it." I hand her the ring and she puts it back in the tray and puts the tray back in the glass cabinet. My stomach starts to hurt a little bit while I watch her do that.

"Is something wrong?" She asks.

I stare at her and shake my head no.

"Ok then, have a nice day." She walks over to the other end of the counter to help someone else.

I put my hand over my pocket and feel the ring in there. It really is the perfect present. Hannah's gonna love it. But, I feel bad.

"Heidi, come on!" Guthrie yells. He runs over to me and grabs my arm. "I found the perfect present for Brian!" He pulls me away from the jewelry section and I run with him through the store. Well, I guess there's no turning back now.

* * *

(Several days earlier.)

I press my forehead on the glass of the window. It's freezing cold. It's still dark outside and the porch light is on. I'm watching the rain pour down outside from the living room window. It looks funny because it's coming down at an angle and it looks like white streams of water.

"Is it snowing yet?" Guthrie asks from the laundry room. He's getting our snow clothes out.

"No, not yet," I yell back.

"Would you guys be quiet!" Brian yells from his bed in the living room. "It's five o'clock in the morning!"

"Brian, you know we're waiting to see if it's gonna be a snow day and see if school is cancelled. Even if it isn't cancelled we're still gonna go out as soon as it starts snowing," I say.

Brian groans and says, "just be quiet."

Guthrie brings my snow pants over to me and I put them on over my thermal pajamas.

I hear a door open upstairs and I look up to see Hannah come out of her and Adam's bedroom.

"What are you guys doing up?" She asks. "It's five in the morning."

"Waiting for the snow," I tell her. I put my big wool socks on as she comes downstairs.

"But, what are you doing?" She asks.

"Waiting for the snow," I tell her again.

She looks at me and says, "_why_ are you putting snow clothes on?"

"To go out in the snow," I say as I put my snow boots on.

"As soon as it starts snowing we're gonna go outside," Guthrie tells her.

"You're going to go out there at five o'clock in the morning?" She asks.

"Maybe, it depends on what time it starts snowing," Guthrie says.

We put our jackets on and I look outside the window again. "It's not snowing yet."

"You are not going to go out there as soon as it starts snowing," Hannah says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Yeah, why?" Guthrie asks too.

"First of all, it's too cold, second, there's no snow to play in when it first starts to snow, and third you're going to eat breakfast first," she says.

"But we always do this when it snows," I tell her.

"Why?" She asks.

"Because it's fun. It's fun to stand outside with snow falling all over you, even if there isn't any on the ground yet," Guthrie says. "Especially when it's dark outside!" He adds.

"Well, you're not going to go out that early today," she says. "I don't want you getting sick. Besides, you'll need to get ready for school."

"Not if it snows," I say.

"Why not?"

"It'll be a snow day," Guthrie says. "If it starts to snow, you guys turn on the radio and listen to see if our school is closed. Then you come outside and tell us."

We put our hats and gloves on and look outside the window again. "It looks like it's almost starting to snow!" I yell.

"Yep, it looks like sleet!" Guthrie yells.

"You are not going outside this early," Hannah says.

"Why not?" Guthrie asks. "Adam always lets us. He doesn't care."

"Neither does Brian or Crane," I say. "They don't care either."

Brian yells over from his bed, "I wish it was snowing now so you two would shut up and go outside!"

Hannah looks at us and says, "well, I care. You are not going outside yet."

I look out the window again. "It's snowing!" I yell. "Come on Guthrie!"

We start heading for the door when Hannah yells, "stop!" You are not going outside and that's final! I'm going to get started on breakfast and after you eat then you can go outside." She walks into the kitchen.

"How long is it gonna take you to make breakfast?" I ask. Either she didn't hear me or she's ignoring me because she didn't answer. I think she's ignoring me because I think I saw her glare at me.

"This isn't fair!" Guthrie says.

"I know!"

We both go sit on the couch next to each other and fold our arms across our chest, and I don't know about Guthrie, but I'm glaring with my eyes.

When Adam comes downstairs he looks at us and laughs.

"You two look mad sitting there all dressed up in your snow clothes. Hasn't it started snowing yet?" He asks.

"Yes! It's snowing right now," I say in my grumpiest voice and with my meanest glare.

He laughs again. "Boy, if looks could kill Heidi, I'd say I was dead. If it's snowing, why aren't you two outside?"

"Because Hannah won't let us!" Guthrie yells.

"Yeah!" Brian yells. "Because Hannah won't let them!"

"Why not?" Adam asks.

"She wants us to eat breakfast first!" I complain. "It's not fair!"

"Can we go outside, Adam?" Guthrie asks. "We're already ready."

"I think eating breakfast first sounds like a good idea," he says.

"But you always let us go out before. It's just Hannah that won't let us," I say. "You can still let us go out."

"I like Hannah's idea of eating breakfast first," he says smiling at us as he walks by and into the kitchen.

"Well, I don't!" I say grumpily.

"Me either!" Guthrie says.

"Neither do I!" Brian says.

* * *

Everyone is in the kitchen for breakfast because it's snowing outside. Adam, Brian and Crane won't go out to work until it stops snowing. We've already listened to the radio to see if school was cancelled and it is. The high school is closed too. Guthrie and I are still mad that we haven't gotten to go outside yet. We stare at each other across the table. Hannah made us take our hats, gloves and jackets off to eat, but we're still wearing our snow pants and boots.

We eat as fast as we can, but Hannah tells us to slow down. Then she says, "you're not going out until it's light outside."

"Adam," Guthrie says, "that's not fair!"

"Yeah!" I yell. "You're ruining our snow day Hannah!"

"Hey!" Adam yells. "You'll live. You can wait another hour, or two."

"An hour? Are you kidding me! That's forever!" I complain. "What are we supposed to do while we're waiting?" I ask.

Hannah smiles and says, "the dishes."

Everyone laughs, but Guthrie and I groan and glare at Hannah.

* * *

When Hannah finally lets us go outside at nine o'clock, it's not snowing anymore. The sky is still grey from the clouds and there's no sun.

We run outside and do all the usual snow stuff. Snowball fights, making snow angels, making a snowman and just running around like crazy. I love the snow because when you can fall in it you don't get hurt. So when I tackle Guthrie and try to put snow down his back, we don't get hurt when we fall over.

We can't go sledding near our house because there aren't any hills, but there's a great place to sled if you walk for about fifteen minutes. That's where my brothers go once they've been outside for a little bit and are done throwing snowballs at each other. They get some snow shovels and our sleds and walk to the hill. They shovel out a good sled run with a few bumps so we can catch some air. Usually Guthrie and I play in the snow in the morning and then go sledding after lunch. By now we've been playing so much that we're hot. Our jackets and hats are off.

"Let's make an igloo," Guthrie says.

"Yeah!"

"Then maybe we can sleep in it tonight," Guthrie says.

"Yeah, we could have a fire in it and everything!" I say.

We get started on building our igloo. It's easy to make the sides, it's the roof that's gonna be hard. We get the sides built up about as high as my waist.

"Guthrie, I'm starting to get cold."

"Put your jacket back on."

I get my jacket and as I'm putting it on I see Ford, Evan and Daniel walking back from the sledding hill. I run up to them.

"Did you make the sled run?" I ask.

"Yep."

"Does it have lots of bumps?"

"Four," Evan says. "What are you guys making over there?"

"We're making an igloo. We're gonna sleep in it tonight."

They laugh and Daniel says, "good luck. It's hard to build an igloo."

"You guys could help us," I say.

"We're going in to eat lunch. You guys should come in too," Daniel says.

"Yeah," Ford says, "Heidi, your lips are blue."

I run back to Guthrie and tell him it's lunchtime.

* * *

Hannah has hot chocolate waiting for us when we come in.

"Heidi, your lips are blue! And did I see you out there without your jacket on?"

I look at her and say, "I got hot. Hannah, me and Guthrie are making an igloo!"

"We're gonna sleep in it tonight too," Guthrie says.

Hannah laughs. "Oh no you're not. You're going to sleep in the house where it's warm."

"But we're gonna have a fire in it," I say.

Everyone laughs. "Eat your lunch," she says.

"Hannah, did you ever play in the snow when you were little?" I ask her.

"Yes," she says.

I glare at her.

"What? You look like you don't believe me," she says. "Eat your lunch."

"I don't," I say quietly.

After we're done eating we get ready to go back outside.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hannah asks.

Guthrie and I look at each other. "Back outside to play," he says.

"No, you need to stay inside for a while," Hannah says.

"Why!" I yell. "Now we go sledding! We always go sledding after lunch!"

"Calm down Heidi. I didn't say you couldn't go outside, I just want you to wait for a while."

"What are we supposed to do while we wait?" Guthrie asks. I can tell he's mad and wants to yell too.

"Well, maybe you could do some schoolwork," she says.

"Wha...," I start to yell, but Guthrie covers my mouth with his hand.

"Hannah, it's a snow day," he says. "All we're supposed to do on a snow day is play in the snow."

"Well, it can't hurt to do a little work. You two go sit at the table and I'll get some paper and pencils."

We walk back to the table and sit down.

"This is the worst snow day ever!" Guthrie says.

"I know," I say. "I don't like Hannah today." I put my head down on the table.

"Here you go," Hannah says. "I wrote down some math problems for you to do."

I sit up and take the paper from her. "Math! I hate math! It's my worst subject!"

"It's ten problems. Finish those and you can go outside."

Guthrie takes his paper and starts working. I look at mine and start crying. "Multiplying!" I put my head back down on the table.

"Get started and you'll be done before you know it," she says and she leaves the kitchen.

"Well, can you at least help me with it?" I yell after her.

"You can do it," she says from the living room.

"Guthrie," I whisper, "what's six times seven."

"Forty-two," he says.

"Do your own work," Hannah says. "I can hear you."

I sit and stare at my paper. This is too hard. I look at Guthrie's paper and I have no clue what he's doing. But it looks like he knows what he's doing because he's almost finished. I look back at my paper and Guthrie gets up and takes his paper to Hannah.

"Good job," she says. "You can outside."

No fair! I get up and take my paper to Hannah. "Can you help me please?" I ask.

"You can figure them out all by yourself," she says. She doesn't even look up from the book she's reading.

"This isn't fair! I'm not at school so my brain can't think about math unless I'm at school!" I yell.

She keeps looking at her book and says, "you do math homework at home all the time."

"Fine!" I yell. I stomp into the kitchen and write answers for all the problems. I just write down whatever number I feel like. Then I stomp back to her and hand her my paper. "There!" I go get my jacket and get ready to go outside.

"These are all wrong," she says, handing the paper to me. "The only one right is the first one. The one Guthrie told you the answer to."

"I tried my best."

"Try again," she says, still handing me the paper.

I take it. "You're being really mean today," I tell her. "Where's Adam?" She looks at me and I glare at her. "Where's Adam?" I ask again. "Or Brian, or Crane?"

"Outside," she says in her serious voice. "Why don't you sit in that chair over there and wait for them to come inside. Give me your paper and go sit." She points to the big comfy chair.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because that's what you're going to do now."

I sit in the chair. "But when will they come inside?"

"I don't know."

"What if they don't come in until dinnertime?" I ask. I'm not liking this. She doesn't answer me.

"Hannah?"

She just keeps reading her book.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I wait for her to answer but she doesn't. I better think about this. I don't want to say anything that's going to make her madder. But I want to go sledding. I don't know what she wants me to say. "Hannah, do you want me to do my math? I'll do it now." Why isn't she answering me? "Hannah can I do my math now?"

She just keeps looking at her book. "I don't know what you want me to say! You're making me mad and you're being really mean today! Adam never makes us do schoolwork on snow days!" I yell. "You're not even looking at me! Please can I go outside? Please?" I start crying now.

She gets up and goes into the kitchen with her book.

"Where are you going?" I ask. "Hannah?" I wait for her to answer, but she doesn't. "I don't like you today! And this is the worst snow day ever!" I fold my arms across my chest. I'd glare, but there's nobody to glare at.

"I'm going outside," I tell her. I wait to see what she does. Nothing. "Did you hear me? I said I'm going outside now. I'm gonna go sledding." I still sit in the chair though because I know I'm not supposed to get up. "Hannah?" Why is she ignoring me?

The front door opens and Adam, Brian and Crane walk in. Finally!

"Hannah won't let me go back outside! She's being really mean today, and now she won't even talk to me! She just keeps reading her book and ignoring me! I don't like Hannah today!" I yell that last part into the kitchen.

"Woah, what's going on?" Adam asks.

"Hannah won't let me go sledding!" I yell.

"Where is Hannah?" Adam asks.

"In the kitchen. She's being really mean today!"

Adam walks by me and into the kitchen. Brian and Crane sit on the couch.

"What'd she do that was so mean?" Crane asks.

"She made me and Guthrie do math after lunch!"

"On a snow day?" Crane asks, but I think he's teasing because he's smiling and acting like he's shocked.

"Yes!"

"Why don't you just do it and get it over with?" Crane asks.

"She won't let me! She took my paper away!"

Brian laughs, "why? What'd you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Then what'd you say?" He asks.

"Nothing! I've been sitting here for a long time! I've been here for over an hour!"

Adam walks in and says, "Hannah says you've been sitting there for ten minutes."

"Can I get up now?"

Hannah walks in and says, "are you ready to do your math?"

"Yes. Can I get up now?"

She hands me my paper and I take into the kitchen. Hannah comes in too and sits down at the table with her book, and when I sit at the table and look at the paper I can see the problems aren't really that hard. I get started and listen to them talk in the other room.

"Schoolwork on a snow day?" Brian says. "That doesn't sound like fun.

"It won't kill her," Adam says.

I finish the paper and give it to Hannah. She looks at it and says, "good."

I run out of the kitchen and get my jacket.

"Hey wait a minute," Adam says.

I turn around and look at him while I put my jacket on. "What?"

"Did you tell Hannah she's being mean today?" He asks.

I stare at him.

"Well did you?"

"I don't remember," I say.

"Why don't you sit back down in the chair and maybe that'll help you remember," he says pointing at the chair.

I sigh. "Ok, I remember. Yes, I did."

"And don't you think you should apologize before you go outside?" Adam asks.

I nod. When I walk into the kitchen I go stand next to Hannah.

"Hannah?" She looks at me. "I'm sorry for saying you're being mean today. It's just that we don't do schoolwork, and we don't have to eat breakfast first, and we get to go outside whenever we want to on snow days."

She smiles at me. "I know, that's what I keep hearing from everybody."

"Why were you ignoring me?" I ask.

"I didn't like the way you were talking to me," she says.

"Sorry. Do you want to come outside with me and go sledding?"

"No, I'm going to stay inside where it's nice and warm."

"It's warm outside if you run around," I tell her.

She smiles at me and says, "I'm sure it is. Why don't you go outside and play."

"Ok."

I start to run out of the kitchen, but I stop and turn around to look at her when she says, "just make sure you're back by four o'clock."

"Why?"

"Because I think that's long enough," she says. "I don't want you to get too cold."

"I'm not a baby. Besides, I don't have a watch."

"I didn't say you were a baby and one of your brothers will have a watch."

"What about Guthrie? Does he have to come back then too?"

"Yes, I'll let you tell him," she says.

"Ok, but he's not going to like it," I tell her.

Then I run into the living room and Brian says, "wait a sec. I'll go with you."

He gets up, puts his jacket on and we walk out together.

* * *

"Brian, why does Hannah get to tell me what to do?" I ask. We've been walking for a while now and we're almost to the sledding hill. I can hear my brothers.

"Because she's an adult," he says.

"But if Adam doesn't care if I go out whenever I want, why doesn't he tell her that? Why does he do what she says?"

"Sometimes you have to do what your wife says to do."

"But why?" I ask.

"That's just the way it works."

"Brian, when do you think Guthrie and I should go back inside?"

"I don't care. Whenever you want to. Why are you asking?"

"So you don't think we should be home by four o'clock?"

"I don't care when you go back. Why?"

"No reason," I say, as I run off to go sledding.

* * *

The sled run is fun. I'm the lightest so when I go over the bumps I catch a lot of air and land really hard. I've gone down so many times and haven't made it down to the bottom yet because I keep catching air and crashing. That's the fun part. It's not a good sled run if you don't get banged up. After a while I take a break to eat some snow. I bit my lip on that last crash and it's bleeding.

When Guthrie walks by I call him over. "Hannah told me to tell you we have to be home by four."

"Why?"

"She doesn't want us to get too cold," I tell him.

"What! That's not fair! We're not babies!"

"I know! That's what I told her." I hold the snow up to my lip. "But, I talked to Brian on the way over here and he said he doesn't care when we go back. So who should we listen to?"

Guthrie's quiet for a minute and then he says, "Brian."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because he's our brother and she's not."

Sounds good to me. I drop the snow and we walk up to the top of the hill.

* * *

It's starting to get dark when my brothers decide it's time to go back home.

"What time is it?" I ask.

Daniel looks at his watch and says, "a little after five."

I look at Guthrie and he shrugs his shoulders.

"Are you too cold?" I ask him.

"No. Are you?" He asks.

"Nope."

"Your lips are blue," he says.

"So are yours." We laugh and run off towards the house.


	2. Chapter 2

We run into the house and start hanging up our jackets, and then I sit on the floor to take my boots off. Adam walks over to us.

"Did Hannah tell you to come inside at four o'clock?" He asks me.

"Yes."

"You know it's after five o'clock?"

"Yes."

"Heidi said Brian said we could stay out as late as we wanted to," Guthrie says.

"Yeah, Brian said we could," I say.

"Brian said you could do what?" Brian asks walking through the front door.

"You said we could stay out as late as we wanted to," I tell him.

Brian looks at Adam, "yeah, I said that. What's the big deal?"

"Hannah told Heidi to be back at four," Adam says.

Brian looks at me, "you didn't tell me that part."

Guthrie looks at me too. "Heidi, you always have to do what the first adult says to do." Then he looks at Adam. "She didn't tell me Brian didn't know Hannah said to come back at four."

"I didn't think it would matter," I say.

Adam looks at me and he looks disappointed when he says, "Heidi you know if one of us tells you to do something you don't go ask someone else if you have to do it."

"But Brian's our brother," I say. "Hannah's not."

"Come on!" Adam says. "You know she's an adult and you have to do what she says! Don't pull that brother stuff on me."

"Ok, I'm sorry. But, Adam she's been treating us like babies all day," I say.

"Yeah," Guthrie says. "She won't let us go outside for too long because she thinks we're gonna be too cold. We're not little kids! You guys let us stay out as long as we want."

"Yeah, and you let us go out whenever we want," I add.

"Can you tell her we're not babies?" Guthrie asks.

"Ok, I'll talk to her. Just remember, this was her first snow day," he says. "And if I were you, I would get in that kitchen and apologize for being late."

"Don't forget to tell her we don't do schoolwork on snow days either," I say.

He gives me a little glare as I get up and go into the kitchen with Guthrie.

* * *

Before we walk into the kitchen Guthrie pulls on my arm to stop me.

"Let me do the talking," he says.

"Why? Hannah says she likes it when I talk and you're not supposed to tell me that anymore."

"Just let me. Please? You might make her mad and I don't want to have to wash any more dishes today," he says.

"Ok. I don't want to wash any more either."

We walk in and over to Hannah. She's stirring something in the big pot on the stove.

"Hannah?" Guthrie says. "We're sorry we didn't come back at four o'clock."

She looks at him with her serious face. "I wanted you to come back so you wouldn't get too cold."

"But we didn't get too cold," he says. "Hannah, we like to play outside in the snow for a long time. We come in when we start to get cold. See, we're inside now and we're not cold."

"Your lips are blue," she says.

"But they don't feel cold to us," he says.

Hannah looks at me. "How come you're not talking?"

"Guthrie told me not to," I say. He nudges me with his elbow. "Ow!" I glare at him. "He told me not to talk because he doesn't want to have to wash any more dishes today."

"Heidi!" He yells.

"That's sounds like a good idea," Hannah says. "You guys can do the dishes tonight. Next time come inside when I tell you to."

"See what you did!" Guthrie yells. "I told you not to talk!" He leaves and he's mad at me.

I sigh and sit down at the table.

"So why didn't you come home at four?" Hannah asks.

"Because Brian said we didn't have to. I didn't tell him you told me to come back at four though."

Guthrie comes back in and says, "Hannah, I don't think it's fair that I have to do the dishes when Heidi didn't tell me everything." Then he glares at me.

"I think you're right," she says.

"Then I have to do them all by myself? I can't do them all by myself!"

Guthrie glares at me and says, "next time don't talk!"

"Guthrie!" Hannah says.

I don't hear what she says next because I run out of the kitchen crying and run right into Crane.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks.

"Guthrie's mad at me and now I have to wash the dishes all by myself tonight!"

He picks me up and carries me to the couch. "I don't think you'll be doing them by yourself," he says while sitting down and holding me on his lap. "That would take you all night. I'll help you."

Guthrie comes out of the kitchen and walks over to me. "I'm sorry Heidi," he says. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'll do the dishes with you if you want me to."

"No, you don't have to. You shouldn't have to do them because I got you in trouble."

"What about me?" Crane asks. He's smiling. "I didn't get in trouble."

"You don't have to help me either," I say sadly.

"Oh, I think someone's feeling sorry for herself," Crane says and he starts tickling me and that makes me laugh.

"Did you have fun sledding?" He asks.

"Yeah, they made four bumps," I tell him.

"You should've seen her Crane!" Guthrie says. "She ate it so much on the first bump she never made it down to the bottom! She just kept starting over from the top and sledding down to the first bump and she'd fly in the air and get all banged up! It was so funny!"

"Why didn't you just go down the rest of the way from the first bump?" Crane asks.

"Because then I'd have to walk all the way up to the top from the bottom. This way I only had to walk a little ways. Besides, the first bump was so much fun, I didn't care about the rest of the bumps."

"Yeah, the first bump was the best," Guthrie says.

We sit and talk about playing in the snow until Hannah calls us for dinner.

* * *

At dinner everyone is talking about the snow. Mostly they're talking about sledding. For some reason I don't feel like talking. I don't really feel like eating either.

"Heidi, do you feel ok?" Hannah asks.

I look at her and nod. Everyone is talking at the other end of the table. Why can't she just talk to them.

"You're so quiet tonight," she says.

I shrug my shoulders.

Hannah looks at me and says, "it sounds like you had fun sledding today." I shrug my shoulders. "Don't you get hurt when you fly up in the air like that."

"No, not really," I tell her. "I bit my lip, and I might have some bruises, but it's fun flying up in the air like that." Please stop talking to me, I wish in my head. I feel like I'm getting mad.

"Well, it sounds dangerous to me," she says.

"Well, it's not," I say. "See, I'm sitting right here. It's not like I died or anything."

Guthrie laughs, but I don't think Hannah likes what I said because she's not smiling anymore. In fact, she looks mad. I shouldn't have said that.

"Sorry," I tell her.

"Why don't you go to your room. I think you're done eating now," she says.

"Why?" Normally I would be yelling that but I don't feel like it tonight.

"Because you're being rude."

"No I'm not. You're just being really mean today."

"Go," she says.

I get up and say, "I don't like you today Hannah." Then I walk over to Adam.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Hannah's being mean to me. She told me to go to my room. Do I have to go?"

"Why'd she send you to your room?" He asks.

"I don't know. I think she just wants to be mean today," I say.

"I don't think so. I think if she sent you to your room, you'd better go. From the tone of your voice I think I know why she sent you to your room."

"Why do you always do what she says?" I ask.

"Go to your room," he says.

"Fine. I don't like you either."

I leave and go to my room. Once I'm in there I lay down on my bed and fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up and look at my clock. 12:30. I don't feel good. I hear yelling. I get up and look out my doorway. It's dark and I don't see anyone awake. I hear the yelling again and it's coming from Adam and Hannah's room. I walk down the hallway and sit down next to their door and lean against the wall.

"They're not little kids!" Adam yells. "They know to come inside when they're cold!"

"Their lips were blue," Hannah says.

"It's cold out there! But they're old enough to know when to come in!"

"I just think maybe they need to be watched a little better," she says.

"What! Are you saying I'm not watching them enough?"

"No Adam, you're a good dad. It's just sometimes I think Heidi's a little too young to be doing everything her brothers get to do. It sounds like she could've really gotten hurt sledding today."

There's that dad word again. Why do they always talk about Adam being the dad.

"She's fine. She's tough. That's how kids play!" Adam yells.

"Are you saying I don't know how kids play?" She asks.

"Maybe I am! Maybe you're being too overprotective!"

"Maybe you're not protective enough!" She yells. But Hannah never yells loud. Her yells are a really loud serious voice.

"Well, maybe I'll sleep somewhere else tonight!" Adam yells.

"That's fine with me!" Hannah says in her serious voice.

The door opens and Adam comes out carrying his pillow and he slams the door shut. He looks down at me.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I don't feel good."

He sighs and lowers his hand down to me. "Come on."

I take his hand and walk back into my bedroom with him. I climb in bed and he puts the covers over me and sits on my bed.

"What doesn't feel good?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. I just don't feel good."

He puts his hand on my forehead. "You don't feel like you have a temperature."

"Did you and Hannah have a fight?" I ask.

"Don't you worry about me and Hannah," he says.

"Is she gonna move out?"

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

"When Brian doesn't like a girl anymore he breaks up with her. Did you and Hannah break up?"

"No Heidi."

"I wouldn't mind if you did. I didn't like Hannah today."

"I know," he says. "Heidi, Hannah and I are married. We're not going to break up. Ever. We're just having a little disagreement right now. I also don't think you really want Hannah to move out, do you?"

I think about that. "Today I wouldn't mind." He frowns at me so I think a little more. I would really miss her. "No I don't want her to move out." I turn onto my side and face the wall. "Adam, I really don't feel good."

"I'm sorry." He rubs my back. "Do you want me to sing to you?"

I nod my head and yawn. "After I fall asleep you should go tell Hannah you're sorry. That's what you tell me to do when I yell at someone. She's probably really sad too."

He keeps rubbing my back and sings the song he always sings to me when I don't feel good. It's the song our mom would sing to my brothers when they felt sick. It makes me feel better and I close my eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

Hannah wakes me up in the morning. I sit up and stretch. I don't feel good at all.

"Hannah, I don't feel good."

She walks over and puts her hand on my forehead. "You don't have a temperature. Get up and get ready for school." She leaves.

I feel like crying but I get up and get ready. When I go downstairs for breakfast I don't feel like eating anything, but Hannah makes me eat some toast and drink a glass of orange juice.

When it's time to go out to the bus stop I tell Hannah that I don't feel good again.

"You'll be fine. The day will be over before you know it." She kisses me on the top of my head and hands me my lunch.

"Where's Adam?" I ask.

"Go to school," she says in her serious voice.

Guthrie and I start walking to the bus stop. It's freezing outside. Guthrie starts running.

"Come on!" He yells. "Let's get there fast so we can have a snowball fight while we're waiting for the bus!"

I don't run. I don't even feel like walking. Guthrie runs back to me.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I don't feel good and Hannah's making me go to school. I don't think I like Hannah today either."

"I don't think Adam likes her today too." He says sadly. "Adam and Hannah were fighting this morning."

"They were fighting last night too. Were they fighting about the snow day?" I ask.

"No, they were fighting about money. She wants to get a job to help pay for Christmas so it'll be really special for us. She's going to Marie's today to ask if she could work a little during the day for a couple of weeks. Adam got really mad and told her he didn't want her to do that. He said she was married now and she should be staying home. That made her really mad. Then he said he was sorry for saying that but he still didn't want her to work. Then he went outside and slammed the door."

"I hope he tells her he's sorry. They fought like that in front of you?"

"No. They thought I was still asleep. Oh yeah, she also asked Adam if we still believed in Santa!"

If I felt better I would've laughed at that. "Did Adam tell her we don't believe in Santa Claus anymore, and we haven't for a long time?"

"Yeah, and she said that was sad. She said kids should still believe in Santa Claus."

"We're not little kids!" I say.

"That's what Adam told her." He's quiet for a minute. "Heidi, we could tell her we still believe in him. I think it would make her happy. Besides, we might get more presents that way."

I shrug my shoulders. "I guess so. But wouldn't that be like tricking her? Adam doesn't like it when we do that to her. Neither does she."

"I bet he wouldn't mind when he sees how happy she is."

We're at the bus stop now and I can see the bus coming. I hope Hannah's right and the day goes by quickly because I don't feel good at all now.

* * *

When I get to school I tell my teacher I don't feel good and she lets me put my head down on my desk for most of the morning. She lets me stay in at recess too. But at lunchtime I have to go eat in the cafeteria so I sit with my best friend Denise.

Denise and I just became best friends. She's new this year and we were friends when she first came, but I did something wrong on Halloween to her mom. Denise was sad after that, but after a while we made up. Adam made me apologize to her mom and she said she was disappointed with me and wouldn't let me play with Denise for two weeks. Adam said I was lucky to have a good friend like that and I better not trick her mom again or she wouldn't let us be friends.

I don't feel like eating so I just sit there. I feel really hot. When Denise is done eating we walk outside together.

"I don't feel like playing," I tell her.

"Do you want to sit on the bench over there?" She asks pointing to the bench by the field.

I nod and we go sit down.

"You don't have to sit with me," I tell her.

"I want to."

"Thanks. I wish I was home."

"When I'm sick my mom makes me chicken noodle soup and lets me sleep on the couch. Then she sits with me until I fall asleep," she says.

"That's what Adam does when I'm sick."

"Yeah, that's what my dad does when my mom's not home."

I think about that. Brian or Crane does that when Adam's not home. My other brothers do sometimes too, but mostly Adam takes care of me when I'm sick.

"So if you don't have a mom then the dad takes care of you?" I didn't mean to say that out loud but I did.

"I guess so," she says.

"My brothers always joke about Adam being the dad."

"My mom told me Adam's like your dad because he's taken care of you since you were a baby. That's what dads do. They take care of you."

"But all my brothers take care of me," I tell her.

"But who takes care of you the most?"

"Adam." It's definitely Adam. I mostly go to Adam when I'm sick or scared. I almost always go to Adam.

We're sitting there quietly while I'm thinking about that and all of a sudden this big snowball hits me right in the side of the face. Only it's not a regular snowball it's an ice snowball! And it hurt! A lot! It makes me cry. I hear laughing and I turn and see that mean bully Gary.

"Aw, what's the matter McFadden? Did a little snowball hurt you?" He says.

All I can do is cry. I don't even feel like yelling at him. Normally I would've thrown one right back at him.

"Leave her alone!" Denise yells.

He laughs and runs off.

"Do you want to go to the office?" She asks me. "I bet they'd let you lay down."

I nod and she walks with me to the office. When we get there the secretary tells me to go lay down in the nurse's office. I don't know why they call it that because we don't have a nurse anymore and the room is full of boxes. But there's a bed in there and I lay down on it. The secretary comes in with a thermometer and takes my temperature.

"103 she says. That's very high. I'll call home and have someone come pick you up."

I hope they hurry. I close my eyes and doze off for a while. But I must've fallen asleep because the secretary is trying to wake me up.

"Heidi, wake up. It's time to go home now. I tried calling home many times but no one answered. You'll have to go home on the bus. Ok?"

I nod and get up. I feel dizzy when I stand up but I'm ok to walk, so I make my way out to the bus. I wonder why nobody's home.

When I get on the bus I sit down on the first seat and close my eyes.

* * *

"Heidi! Wake up!" Guthrie's shaking me. "We're at our stop!"

I wake up and look around. I stand up and get off the bus and when it leaves I sit down on the side of the road and cry.

"What's wrong?"

I shake my head.

"Are you sick?"

I nod my head.

"Do you want me to get someone?"

I nod my head again.

"I'll hurry!" He runs home and I sit and wait.

Pretty soon the jeep drives up and Adam gets out and runs over to me.

"Hey," he says as he picks me up. "You're burning up!" I nod.

He puts me in the jeep and drives me the couple minute drive home. Once we're there he carries me into the house and puts me on the couch.

"Guthrie, run upstairs and get me the thermometer and the aspirin." He looks at me, "I'm going to get you some water."

When he gets back he takes my temperature. "104! Here, sit up." He helps me sit up and gives me the aspirin and water.

I take the aspirin and ask quietly, "how come you didn't come get me?"

"What do you mean?"

"At school. They called you. Lots. And no one came."

He puts his hand on my head and smooths my hair back, "I'm sorry. I didn't know." Then he looks at Guthrie. "Get me a blanket and a pillow."

Adam gets me comfortable and sits with me like Denise said her dad does with her. I close my eyes and go to sleep.

* * *

When I wake up I try to sit up, but I feel dizzy so I lay back down. Guthrie is sitting on the floor next to me doing his homework and he looks at me.

"She's awake. Hannah she's awake," he says getting up and running into the kitchen.

Hannah comes back with Guthrie and she smiles at me. "How are you feeling?"

"Not good," I say quietly.

She sits next to me on the edge of the couch. "Let's take your temperature," she says sticking the thermometer under my tongue. She puts her hand on my forehead and slides it down my cheek. "I'm sorry no one was home today."

My eyes start to cry and she wipes a tear off my cheek. She takes the thermometer out and looks at it.

"Good, your fever is coming down. Take a drink of water." She helps me lift my head and brings the glass to my lips. The water feels really cold and I feel really hot.

"Hannah, did I get sick because I stayed out in the snow too long?"

She smiles at me. "No. Are you hungry?"

"No. I'm just tired." I put my hand on her hand and look at her. "Hannah, I'm sorry I was so mean to you yesterday."

"Sh. Just close your eyes and go to sleep." I turn on my side and she pulls the blanket up over my shoulders. She kisses my cheek and rubs my back until I fall asleep just like Denise said her mom does for her.


	3. Chapter 3

The next time I wake up I feel better. When I sit up and look around it's nighttime. It's dark in the living room except for the lamp by the couch is on. Adam is sitting at the end of the couch and I think he's asleep. Brian is snoring and I get up on my knees and look over the back of the couch and see Guthrie sleeping too.

"Hey, you're awake," Adam says. He scoots over to me and feels my forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Let's take your temperature and see if your fever is gone." He gets the thermometer and sticks it under my tongue. "Brian made some chicken noodle soup for you. Are you hungry?"

I nod my head. He looks at his watch and takes the thermometer out.

"It's getting lower," he says while he looks at the thermometer. "Here's some water," he hands me my glass and then some aspirin. "Do you feel like getting up and putting your pajamas on?"

"Yes." I stand up and I feel a little dizzy, but I'm ok to walk.

"Why don't you go change and I'll warm up the soup. Bring some books down with you too."

I go upstairs and get ready for bed. I pick out some books and bring them downstairs. I set them on the couch and go into the kitchen.

"Here." Adam sets the soup on the table and we both sit down.

I take a spoonful and taste it. It tastes good. It's been a while since I've had Brian's chicken noodle soup. I like Hannah's cooking, but sometimes I miss Brian's cooking. It's different.

"Are you feeling better?" Adam asks.

I shrug my shoulders because now I'm starting to feel bad again. I eat a little bit more soup and put my spoon down. I look at Adam.

"You don't feel good do you?" He asks.

I shake my head. "I'm tired again."

"Ok, let's go back to the couch."

We go back to the living room and he picks up a book and sits down on the couch. I sit next to him and lean against him. He puts his arm around me.

When he opens the book I say, "no, don't read yet."

"Ok."

"Did our mom take care of you when you were sick?"

"Yes. She made chicken noodle soup for us and read to us and sat with us if we wanted her to."

"Like you do for us?"

"Yes."

"Did our dad take care of you when you were sick?"

"If mom wasn't around he would."

"The same way mom did, and the same way you do?"

"Yes. Why are you asking?"

"No reason." I snuggle closer to him. "Will you read to me now?"

He opens the book and starts reading and pretty soon I fall asleep.

* * *

The next time I wake up it's daytime and Ford, Evan and Guthrie are in the living room with me.

"I'll go tell Hannah you're awake," Guthrie says running into the kitchen.

"How are you feeling?" Ford asks.

"Better."

When Hannah comes in she takes my temperature and tells me it's almost normal. Then she brings me some soup and goes back to the kitchen.

"Guess what Heidi, Evan's got a new girlfriend!" Guthrie says.

Ford laughs. "She's not his girlfriend!"

"Yet!" Evan says laughing and they all laugh.

"What's her name?" I ask.

"Becky," he says.

"Becky who?"

"Becky Winters."

"Evan's in looove," Guthrie teases.

"What does she look like? Is she pretty?" I ask.

"Yeah, she's pretty," Ford says.

"Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a really pretty smile," Evan says.

He looks really happy when he talks about her.

"Is she nice?" I ask.

"She's really nice."

Then Guthrie teases him again. "He even has a date with her already."

"You always go on dates," I tell him.

"Becky seems different than the other girls I've gone out with."

"Maybe it's because she's new," Ford says.

"Where's she from?" I ask.

"I think she said Sacramento," Evan says. "But who cares! She lives in Murphys and I'm taking her out!"

"Where are you taking her?"

"I asked her to the Christmas party in Angeles Camp," Evan says.

"I'm taking Cleo," Ford says.

"What party?" I ask.

"Angeles Camp is having a big Christmas party and Daniel's band is playing at it," Guthrie says. "And guess what! It's for kids too! We get to go!"

I smile. That will be fun.

"Becky Winters," Evan says. "Becky Winters. I'm in love!"

We all laugh.

Hannah walks in and says, "alright boys, that's enough. Why don't you go do your chores so Heidi can get some rest."

When they get up and leave she comes and sits next to me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good. Do me and Guthrie really get to go to the Christmas party in Angeles Camp?"

"Yes. I was thinking maybe I could make you a pretty Christmas dress for it," she says.

"A dress? I don't think so. You don't have to do that."

"I want to. It'll be fun! You can wear it to church on Christmas Eve too!"

She looks really happy. "Ok. Just don't make it fancy."

She smiles really big and gives me a hug. "We can get you some dress shoes too!"

No! "What's wrong with my cowgirl boots?" I do not want to wear dress shoes!

"But, dress shoes would go perfect with your Christmas dress."

"Why don't you just make me a dress that goes with my boots?"

"Oh, you'll like the dress shoes, you'll see."

I don't think so. "How are we gonna pay for them?" I ask.

"Well, I'm going to work at Marie's a couple days a week."

"Does Adam know that?"

"Yes."

I look up at her. "And he's ok with that?"

She smiles down at me. "Yes. I think you should get some rest now."

"I'm not tired. I'm feeling a lot better."

"I'm glad you're feeling better, but you still need to rest. I'm going to go finish up in the kitchen."

When she leaves I sit and think about the dress Hannah wants to make me. And the dress shoes. I'm not too happy about it. It's not that I haven't worn Christmas dresses before, I used to wear them when I was little, I just don't like to wear them anymore.

Crane comes in and sits next to me.

"What's wrong?" He asks. "You look like something's bothering you."

"Hannah wants to make me a Christmas dress and buy me dress shoes."

"Oh."

"I said ok because she seemed really happy about it, but I don't want to wear dress shoes."

"Cheer up, it's just for one night. How are you feeling?"

"Better. Hannah won't let me get up."

"Do you want me to read to you?"

"Sure."

I'm listening to Crane read when Daniel comes in and sits down too. He gives me a hug and listens to the story too. We get interrupted when the phone rings.

"Can I get it, please?" I ask.

"Sure," Crane says.

I get up and run to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is Daniel there?" A girl asks.

"Yes. Who's this?"

"Becky."

Why does that name sound familiar?

"Hello?" She says.

"Becky who?" I ask.

"Becky Winters. Is Daniel there?"

"Sure. I'll go get him." I lay the phone down on the desk. "Daniel, it's for you."

"Who is it?"

"A girl. Becky."

He smiles and jumps off the couch. "I'll take it upstairs!" He yells as he runs upstairs.

I hang the phone up when he tells me to and I sit back down on the couch with Crane. Why would Becky Winters be calling Daniel and not Evan? I'm pretty sure that's the girl he said he was in love with.

"What's the matter?" Crane asks. "Still thinking about those dress shoes?"

I shake my head and give him another book to read. After a few minutes Daniel comes out of his bedroom singing. "Crane, that was the most beautiful woman in the world!" He yells coming downstairs. "And guess what? She asked me out! I was going to ask her out, but she asked me first!"

"When are you taking her out?" I ask.

"The day after the dance. I'm going to take her out to dinner."

He sits on the couch next to me and gives me a big kiss on the top of my head. He's really happy.

Crane asks, "so who's this Becky?"

"Let me guess," I say, "she's new and she has blonde hair."

"Good guess!" Daniel says. "She's pretty and funny too."

"She's new?" Crane asks. "Where's she from."

"I bet she's from Sacramento," I say.

"How'd you know?" Daniel asks.

"Just a lucky guess," I say sadly.

But he's not listening to me because he's telling Crane all about Becky. This is bad. Poor Evan and poor Daniel. They're both so happy about this girl. I need to tell Guthrie. He'll know what to do.

* * *

By dinnertime my fever is gone and Hannah lets me eat at the table with everyone else. I have to have soup, but that's ok because it tastes good. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to Guthrie yet. Hopefully Daniel and Evan won't talk about their dates.

Luckily they didn't. Everyone mostly talked about the weather and how cold it was going to get tonight. Adam said it would be a good idea if everyone stayed home tonight because the roads would be icy. It's always fun when everyone is home at night.

* * *

I finally get a chance to talk to Guthrie when we're sitting on the couch. Everyone is in the living room and while they're talking I whisper to Guthrie.

"Guthrie, you know that girl Becky that Evan likes?"

"Yeah. Why are you whispering?"

"Daniel likes her too," I whisper.

"What? How do you know that?"

"She called here and she asked Daniel out."

"Why'd she do that? Doesn't she like Evan?" He whispers.

"I don't know. But he's taking her out to dinner the day after the dance."

"Does she know they're brothers?"

"I don't know. Should we tell them?" I ask.

We get interrupted when Daniel asks, "what are you two whispering about over there?"

Everyone is looking at us.

"Nothing," I say.

Everyone goes back to talking so Guthrie and I decide to talk later and listen to what everyone is talking about.

"So Crane, how much money do we get to spend on each other this year?" Adam asks.

"What are you talking about?" Hannah asks.

"Let me tell her!" Guthrie shouts.

Everyone laughs and Crane says, "ok."

"Every year we draw names and buy a present for that person. It's a secret too! You can't tell anybody who's name you have."

"Except for you and Heidi," Evan says laughing. "You guys don't know how to keep a secret!"

Everyone laughs and Hannah says, "that sounds like fun. When do you draw names?"

"After we decorate the Christmas tree," I tell her.

"So how much money do we get to spend Crane?" Evan asks.

"Sorry guys," Crane says, "this year's been tight. "We can only afford five dollars each."

"That's not enough," Guthrie says.

"Yeah, you can't buy anything for five dollars!" I say.

"Just remember, it's the thought that counts," Adam says.

Everyone's quiet for a little bit.

"Remember that one year dad took us shopping and gave us a couple dollars to spend on mom?" Brian says.

He's talking about Adam, Brian and Crane. Our dad took them shopping for mom's present and they had to agree on one present to get her.

"Yeah, we found this big bottle of perfume in this pink bottle," Adam says. "Dad said we didn't have enough money to buy it, so we had to buy her something else. I don't even remember what we bought her."

"I think it was some jewelry," Brian says. "A pin or something."

"Anyways, we decide we really wanted to get her the perfume. Since Crane was the youngest we told him to put it in his jacket pocket," Adam says.

"Did you get caught?" Hannah asks.

"Not until we got out of the store," Adam says. Everyone laughs now because we know the rest of the story.

"Crane slipped on some ice in the parking lot, and when he fell the perfume bottle broke," Brian says.

"Dad was so mad," Adam says. "The perfume was all over him and the car smelled like roses the whole way home!"

Daniel gets his guitar and starts making up a song about it. It's pretty funny. Then everyone starts singing Christmas songs until Adam says it's time for bed for me and Guthrie.

* * *

When I'm ready for bed Hannah comes in my bedroom to ask how I'm feeling. I get in bed and she sits on the edge.

"I'm feeling good," I tell her.

She smiles at me and feels my forehead. "Good," she says. "You should be ok to go to school tomorrow."

"Ok."

"Oh, I almost forgot, I was talking to Marie about the Christmas Eve service they have at church and she said they have a Christmas story pageant."

"What's that?" I ask.

"It's when kids act out the Christmas story of when Jesus was born."

"Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about. All of us have been in it when we were little. I was a sheep one year when I was five."

"Well, Marie's in charge of it and she said they still need some kids to be in it, so I signed you up for it." She smiles at me.

"What! That's for little kids!"

"Marie said it's for kids up to the fifth grade."

"But I'm in fourth and most of the kids are going to be really little, like preschoolers or kindergarteners. Hannah, I don't want to be in it."

"It'll be fun, you'll see." She kisses me goodnight and says, "I'll go tell Adam you're ready for bed. I know he wants to say goodnight to you."

I fold my arms across my chest and glare at her on her way out. This isn't fair! I don't even get a say in whether I want to be in the stupid play or not.

"What's wrong?" Adam asks when he comes in and sits on my bed. "You look mad."

"Do I have to do what Hannah says?"

"I'd like you to. What did she tell you to do?"

"Nothing. It just seems like she's changing Christmas."

"I think she just wants it to be special for us," he says.

"For us, or for her?" I ask.

"Maybe for both. She's never had a big family before. I think she's excited about having Christmas with us."

"I guess so," I say. I still don't like it though.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

"Good. Hannah says I can go to school tomorrow."

"Ok, I'll make sure that either me, Crane or Brian are inside in case you need us to come get you."

"What about Hannah?" I ask.

"She's going to work."

"Do you like her working?"

"Sure. It makes her happy, so I'm happy. Now let's get you to sleep. Do you want a story, or song?"

"Story. Can you tell me a story about my first Christmas?"

"Sure," he says. I settle down and listen to the story about my only Christmas with my mom and dad. Then he kisses me goodnight and I lay awake thinking about Christmas and Hannah. Then I hear Adam and Hannah talking.

"Is that the only present Heidi and Guthrie get? The ones you guys exchange with each other?"

"Sometimes people from the church give them presents."

"What about stockings?" She asks.

"Yeah, the kids all have stockings. We fill them with candy and little presents that are inexpensive," Adam says.

"And Guthrie and Heidi don't believe in Santa Claus?"

"No, not since the Christmas they found the presents hidden in my closet that were from the church. They saw the tags that said from Santa on them. I think Guthrie was already starting to figure out there was no Santa, but Heidi still wasn't sure. Some of her friends still believed, but some didn't. After seeing those presents in the closet they just figured it out."

I don't hear anything after that because I fall asleep.

* * *

On our way to the bus stop I tell Guthrie about the Christmas play I have to be in.

"Oh man, that's horrible," he says. "Isn't that just for little kids?"

"It's for kids up to fifth grade. I bet I'll be the only fourth grader. Does it seem like Hannah's changing Christmas?" I ask him.

"What'd you mean?"

"She wants to make a dress for me and she wants me to wear dress shoes."

"She wants to make a Christmas shirt for me," he says. "I don't mind the shirt, but she wants me to wear a tie too. And she said something about making me a sweater vest. I don't even know what that is."

"At least you don't have to be in the Christmas play." We're quiet for a minute and then I ask, "what are we going to do about Evan and Daniel? They both like that Becky girl so much."

"I guess we just have to tell them," he says.

"Do you think they'll be mad or sad?" I ask.

"I don't know. What I wanna know is, why is she going out with both of them?"

"I don't know," I say as the bus drives up.

* * *

When I get to school and put my lunch in the classroom Denise is in there and she comes running up to me and we hug each other.

"I'm so glad you're back. Are you feeling better?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Mrs. Wilson, my teacher, walks over to us.

"Welcome back, Heidi. I put your work in a folder on your desk for you. Denise, would you take Heidi to the back table and show her the Christmas presents we're making for your mom's and dad's?"

"Sure."

We walk to the back table and I see they've been making bell ornaments with clay. Every year we make some sort of present for our mom's and dad's. Guthrie does too. My brothers always like what we make and we save it all in a big box full of stuff they made when they were little. My mom always saved the stuff they made. It's fun to look at all the ornaments and cards.

Mrs. Wilson walks back to us and says, "Denise, do you think you could help Heidi with her ornament? They're going to be taken to the kiln later today."

Denise helps me make my ornament during class. When I'm finished we go out to the first recess.

"Let's go play tag with everyone on the field," I say.

"Ok," Denise says.

We start walking over there and someone throws a snowball at my head. Most of the snow that's left is hard so it's another ice ball! It hurts, and I turn around to see Gary laughing at me.

"What's the matter McFadden? Are you gonna cry again?"

I glare at him and Denise says, "come on Heidi, just ignore him. Let's go play."

That's hard for me to do but I do it. I keep walking with her, but he throws another one.

I stop walking and turn around. "Leave me alone!"

"What are you gonna do about it?" He asks smiling at me.

"Didn't you learn anything from my brothers the last time you bugged me?" I ask.

"They can't come to school every day to help you!" He yells.

Denise pulls on my arm. "Come on," she whispers, "he's not worth getting in trouble over."

I turn around and walk with her even though I want to throw an ice ball back at him. But she's right, I don't want to get in trouble. But then he throws another one but this one hits Denise right on the side of her face and it leaves a red mark. Denise cries.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

She nods, but I know it has to be stinging her. I hear Gary laughing and that's it! I run right up to him and punch him in the face just as the principal, Mr. Brick, walks over.

"All three of you, my office. Now!" He yells.

Denise is still crying so I put my arm around her. When we get to the office we sit on the bench inside. I hate this bench. It seems like I have to sit on it a lot. It's right outside the principal's door.

Mr. Brick stands in front of us and says, "I saw the whole thing. I saw the snowballs you threw," he looks at Gary and then he looks at me. "I saw you punch him."

"If you saw him throw the 'ice' balls, why didn't you stop him?" I ask.

He ignores me and looks at Denise. "Are you ok?" He asks her.

"Yes."

"You can go back to class. Gary, come into my office."

Denise says goodbye to me and I sit outside waiting for my turn with Mr. Brick. I don't have to wait long. Gary comes out and smiles his creepy smile at me as he leaves. Well, at least it looks like no one's getting sent home.

"Come in Heidi," Mr. Brick says.

I go in and sit in the chair across from his desk.

"You know hitting is not allowed. I'm going to call home and have someone come get you."

"Why! That's not fair! He was bugging us!"

"We've talked about this. What are you supposed to do when he bugs you?"

"Go to the office or tell a teacher," I say sadly because we have talked about this before. Adam told me to do that too. "Why didn't you stop him?" I ask.

"I wasn't close enough. You guys couldn't hear me."

"You should wear a whistle like all the teachers do," I tell him. "Because this isn't fair. So instead of punching him I should've thrown a snowball at him? Then I wouldn't be getting in trouble?"

He glares at me. "You shouldn't have punched him," he says.

"Fine. Next time I'll throw a snowball at him."

"Go to your class, get your stuff and come back and sit on the bench. I'm calling home!"

I get up and go. This isn't fair! When I get to my classroom I get my stuff and say goodbye to Denise.

"You have to go home?" She asks, as I pick up my work folder on my desk and nod at her. "That's so unfair!" She whispers.

I shrug my shoulders and say bye. Then I go back to the office to sit on the bench.


	4. Chapter 4

As I'm sitting on the bench I hope either Brian or Crane is coming to get me and not Adam. I don't have to wait long because I see Brian come walking through the door taking his cowboy hat off. He smiles at the secretary and she takes him to Mr. Brick's office. I look down at the floor when he walks by me. When the door closes I look up and watch them talking. The office doesn't have regular walls inside. It's just a bunch of windows like a little window box with a door.

When the door opens Brian looks down at me and says, "let's go."

I follow him out of the office and to the jeep. We're both quiet until he starts driving home and then he asks, "what happened?"

I tell him about the ice balls and Denise and punching Gary. "It's not fair, Brian!"

"I know it doesn't sound like it's fair but you're not supposed to hit anyone at school. It's just the rule."

"But you did when you were my age," I tell him.

"I know. And I wasn't supposed to do that either. I got sent home a lot."

"You get in fights now. Especially when you go to bars."

"I know. I'm not supposed to do that either. Just because I do something doesn't mean you can do it," he says.

"But all you guys get in fights!" I yell.

Brian sighs. "That doesn't make it right."

I look at him. "You sound like Adam. He always says that. Brian? Do we have to tell Adam? Can't you just say I was sick?"

"No, you've got to tell him," he says.

"Why?" I cry. "He's going to be mad! Please, can we not tell him?"

"You know I can't do that so please don't ask me again," he says. "I also want you to tell him instead of me."

"No, I can't do that! You have to!"

"I'm not going to," he says.

"Fine! I'll just tell him I'm sick!" I fold my arms across my chest and glare at him.

"No you won't. You're going to tell him the truth."

I don't have anything to say after that so we're quiet the rest of the way home.

* * *

When we get home I run inside and up the stairs.

"Get down here," Brian says.

"Why?"

"Because I want you to do your homework or class work, or whatever's in that folder of yours."

"There's nothing inside of it," I tell him from the top of the stairs.

"Get down here and give it to me!" He yells.

I stay there and glare at him.

"Don't make me come up there and get you!" He yells.

I glare at him and stomp down the stairs and hand him my folder. He opens it.

"That's what I thought!" He yells. "Get in the kitchen and start working on it!" He hands it back to me.

"Why are you being so mean!" I yell. "You're not my dad!"

"I know I'm not! But you're still gonna get in there and work on it! Now!"

I start crying and walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table. He walks in and goes over to the stove to get some coffee.

"Get busy," he says when he sees I'm not working.

"I need a pencil."

"Then get up and get one," he says, slowly and in his mad voice.

I get up and go into the living room where the desk is. I look out the window by the desk and I wish I was outside. It looks like a nice day. I know it's cold out there, but at least the sun's out today.

"What's taking you so long?" Brian asks from the kitchen.

"Nothing," I say as I get a pencil and go back to the table. "Will you help me? I don't know how to do it." I ask.

"You haven't even opened your folder yet."

I look at him. "I bet I won't know how to do it," I tell him.

"Open it!"

"When's Crane coming inside?" I ask.

"He's not! Adam's coming in at lunchtime, so open your folder and get busy."

I open my folder. "I don't know how to do it."

"You didn't even look at it," he says. "Why are you being so difficult about this?"

"Because it's not fair! I keep getting in trouble because Gary keeps bugging me! Why does he keep doing that?"

"I don't know. I guess Adam needs to go talk to the principal about that again," he says. "Now will you please do your work?"

"Ok." I look at my papers and realize the work's not that hard so I get started.

* * *

When Adam comes in and sees me at the table he says, "are you not feeling well again?"

I just stare at him as he walks in the kitchen.

"How come you're not laying down?" He stands by the table and looks at Brian. "Does she have a temperature?"

"Nope," he says.

"Then why is she home?" He asks.

"Heidi, tell him why you're home," Brian says.

I shake my head.

"Why are you home?" Adam asks.

I just stare at him.

"You got in trouble, didn't you?" He sounds a little mad now.

I nod.

"Are you suspended again?" He yells.

I shrug my shoulders and look at Brian.

"No, she just got sent home for the rest of the day," Brian says.

"What did you do?" Adam asks. "And don't just sit there staring at me!" He yells.

"Gary threw ice balls at me and Denise." That's all I say.

"What did _you_ do?"

"I punched him," I say quietly.

"What! You know you're not supposed to do that!"

"But it wasn't fair! He threw an ice ball at me and I kept walking. I ignored him. Then he threw another one at me and I still didn't do anything! Then he threw one at Denise and it made her cry so I punched him! The principal said he saw Gary throw the ice balls and he didn't stop him! It's not fair!"

"He saw him throw them?" Adam asks.

"Yeah," Brian says. "He said he wasn't close enough to stop them."

"I told him he should have a whistle like all the teachers do!" I say.

"You told him that!" Adam yells.

"Yes," I say quietly. "I think he should have a whistle."

"You're not the one that should be telling him that!" He yells.

"Are you gonna tell him that?" I ask.

He glares at me. "No I'm not going to tell him that! You shouldn't have punched someone, that's why you're in trouble, not because the principal didn't have a whistle!"

I start crying. "This isn't fair! Gary keeps bugging me! He won't stop!"

Adam sighs and sits down at the table. "I'll go talk to Mr. Brick about that. In the meantime, what are you supposed to do if he's bugging you?"

"Go to the office or tell a teacher," I say quietly.

"Right," he says. "You're in your room tonight."

I put my head down on the table and cry. This isn't fair.

* * *

I hate having to go to my room after dinner. There's nothing to do. I have books I can read and I have crayons and paper to draw with but that's it. I guess I'll draw. I get some paper and my crayons and lay on the floor and draw. I'll draw my horse, Lucy.

I can hear everyone in the living room and it sounds like they're having fun. I move closer to my doorway so I'm right in front of it. I'm as close as I can be without being in the hallway. I hear someone walking in the hallway and as they get closer I see it's Guthrie.

"Heidi, Evan and Daniel are starting to talk about their dates," he whispers. "They haven't said her name yet so they don't know it's the same girl."

"That's good!" I whisper. "We should tell them soon. It would be really bad if Daniel saw Evan at the dance with Becky."

"I know," he says.

"Guthrie! Get away from her room!" Adam yells from downstairs.

"Bye," he says. "Sorry you have to be in your room. Denise told me what happened. It's not fair. Do you want me to get him back for you?"

"No, then you'll get in trouble."

"Guthrie!" Adam yells again.

"It's ok, I haven't gotten in trouble at school in a while now."

"No, don't," I say.

"Bye," he says.

"Bye," I say sadly as he leaves. I start to cry. I wish I didn't have to be in my room tonight. I start to feel mad now. I'm gonna draw a picture of Gary. I draw a picture of a boy and then I cross him out and scribble all over him. Then I wipe the paper with my hand to move all my crayons off of it, and they roll into the hallway and some fall off the edge and down to the living room. Oops. I didn't mean for them to go that far.

"Hey, why are there crayons falling on us?" Brian yells up.

I get up and walk to the edge. "Sorry, I didn't mean for them to go down there. Can I come downstairs to get them?" I ask Adam.

He nods at me so I quickly go downstairs and get them from Brian. When I get back upstairs I pick up the crayons in the hallway and go back in my room. I lay back down on the floor in my doorway and crumple up the picture I drew of Gary. Then I just rest my head on my arm and lay there. I flick the crumpled piece of paper around in my doorway. It's kind of a fun game until I flick it downstairs.

"Hey! Why do you keep throwing stuff down here?" Brian yells up.

I get up and walk to the edge of the hallway. "Sorry. It was an accident," I say as I watch him open up the crumpled paper.

"What's this a picture of?" He asks.

"Nothing."

"Heidi, get ready for bed," Adam says.

Darn. It's still early. I go down the hall to brush my teeth. When I'm done I walk back to my room and close my door. After I'm in my pajamas I open my door and sit in the doorway until Adam comes up. Then I climb in bed and he sits on the edge.

"What's this a picture of?" Adam asks, showing me my drawing of Gary.

"It's Gary. I crossed him out and scribbled all over him."

"I can see that. He must really be bugging you a lot," he says.

"He is. When he threw the first ice ball I ignored him. I didn't hit him or anything."

Adam smiles at me. "Good," he says.

"The second time he threw one at me I didn't touch him either. I did what you said and tried to ignore him."

"I'm glad. That's good."

"But when he hit Denise that really made me mad."

"It sounds like this kid has it out for you," Adam says. "Try to stay away from him."

"I don't go anywhere near him. He always seems to find me. Why do you think he keeps bugging me?" I ask.

"I don't know. If he wasn't hurting you I would say maybe he likes you, but this guy is a bully. I'm going to talk to your principal about him again. Hopefully that will help."

"I hope so. I wish Mr. Brick stopped Gary from throwing the ice balls," I say. "Ice balls hurt. Denise's face was red."

"I wish he had stopped him too." He puts his hand on my head and slides it down to my cheek. "Let's get you to sleep."

"I'm not tired."

"To bad. Do you want me to read you a story or tell you a story?" He asks.

"Tell me a story about you fighting in school," I tell him.

"No."

"Tell me a story about Brian fighting in school."

"No. No fight stories," he says.

"Aw, why not?"

"I don't want you to get any ideas," he says smiling.

"Ok, tell me a story about me and Guthrie when we were little."

He tells me a funny story and then kisses me goodnight. When he leaves I lay there thinking bout Gary. I wish he would just move away.

* * *

When I wake up in the morning I'm excited because it's Saturday. I hop out of bed and race downstairs to eat breakfast. Guthrie and Brian are in the kitchen eating pancakes.

"Where is everyone?" I ask. "Where's Hannah?" Usually she's in the kitchen making breakfast.

"She went to work," Brian says.

"Why? It's Saturday."

"She can work a double shift on Saturdays," he says. "Breakfast and lunch."

"Oh. Where's everyone else?" I ask.

"Doing chores, I guess," Brian says. "Speaking of chores, I want you two to wash the dishes." We groan. "After that you can do your chores, and then what are you going to do today?"

Guthrie and I look at each other and shrug our shoulders. "We could go see if there's still snow on the sled run and go sledding," he says.

"Yeah! Let's do that," I say.

"Ok," Brian says, "but if you go anywhere else you need to tell someone.

"Ok," we both say.

We finish our breakfast after Brian goes outside. Then we do the dishes.

"I'm gonna go get dressed," I tell Guthrie when we're finished with the dishes. "I'll meet you out at the barn."

"Ok!"

He runs outside and I run upstairs.

* * *

When we're done with our chores we get our saucers and walk to the sledding hill. When we get there it's still covered in snow, but it's super icy.

"This is the best!" Guthrie says. "We're gonna go fast because of all the ice!"

We start going up the hill but it's hard. It's so icy we keep slipping. We have to dig our toes into the icy snow to get a good grip and we still keep on slipping.

"I don't think we're ever gonna make it to the top," I say when we're only half way up. We take our jackets off because we're really hot now. We leave them on the hill.

"Sure we will," Guthrie says. "Just keep walking."

It seems like we go up two steps and slide down one step. It's like that the whole way to the top. When we finally reach the top, we're out of breath. We stand at the top of the run catching our breath.

"Look how icy it is!" I say. "This is gonna be so much fun!"

"Yeah! Look how shiny it is!"

"Let me go first," I tell Guthrie.

"Ok. Do you want me to give you a push to get started, or do you want to slide down on your own?" He asks.

"Push me!" I sit down on my saucer and yell, "ready!"

Guthrie gives me a big push and I slide down the hill. It's fun at first because I'm going super fast, but then I get a little scared because I'm going too fast and I feel like I'm out of control. The first bump is coming up fast and I'm scared. I yell when I reach it and fly up in the air. I come down hard on the icy snow and it hurts! I start to cry.

"Heidi, are you ok?" Guthrie yells down. "I'm coming!" He starts walking down the hill to me sliding all around.

My head hurts, my face hurts and my wrist hurts. When Guthrie reaches me I sit up.

"It hurts!" I cry, holding up my wrist.

Guthrie looks at it and then he looks at me. "Heidi, you flipped upside down! You landed on your head! Are you ok?"

I shake my head. "No! It hurts bad!"

Guthrie looks at my face and says, "you have a fat lip." He picks up some ice and hands it to me. "Here, put this on your lip."

I take it and hold it on my mouth. I can't sop crying. My head and wrist hurt really bad.

"Come on," Guthrie says. "Let's go tell someone."

I start to get up but it's too slippery so I fall down. We slide down on our bottoms. When we get to the bottom of the hill we start walking home.

"What about our jackets?" I ask.

"We'll get those later. Right now we have to find someone to help you."

We walk a little further and I stop. "We can't tell anyone," I say.

"Why not?" Guthrie asks.

"Because Hannah will never let me go sledding again!"

"But we have to tell someone. You're hurt. Look, your wrist is swollen."

I look at my wrist and it is swollen. "Please don't tell anyone. Let's just put some ice on it when we get home. Please?"

"Ok, I guess so," he says.

I wish we could tell someone though because my head and wrist hurt really bad, but there's no way I'm telling anyone. I don't want Hannah to find out!


	5. Chapter 5

When we get back to the house I notice the jeep is gone now too.

"Do you think we're the only ones home?" I ask Guthrie.

"No, they would never leave us alone." He stops walking and says, "Heidi, stop and look at me."

I stop walking and turn to face him. He puts his hands on my shoulders and looks into my eyes.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell anybody?" I nod my head. "'Cause I really think we should."

"No, please don't tell," I say quietly.

"Ok, then when we get inside you have to go put a long-sleeved shirt on so you can hide your wrist. If anybody asks why you're crying just tell them about your lip and head."

"Ok."

We walk into the house and I go up to my room. Once I'm in there I sit on my bed and cry. I look at my wrist. It hurts so bad! It looks even bigger now. I start to take my shirt off but I realize I hurt my right wrist and I'm right-handed, so it's hard to take my shirt off with my left hand. When I finally get it off I get a long-sleeved shirt out of my dresser. I get one that buttons down the front so I don't have to put it over my head. But once I get it on I realize I can't button it because it hurts my wrist to much. I sit back on my bed and cry.

"Heidi," Guthrie says knocking on my door. "Are you dressed? I have some ice for you."

"No," I cry. "I can't get my shirt on."

"No one's home so just keep trying."

I take the button shirt off and put it back. I get another shirt and try to put it on. It takes a while, but I finally get it on and I open my door.

"Here," Guthrie says, handing me a bag of ice.

"Should I stay up here, or go downstairs?" I ask him.

"I think you should go downstairs and sit on the couch. If you stay up here and someone comes home they're gonna be suspicious."

"Guthrie it hurts so bad!" I cry.

"I'll get someone, ok?" He says.

"No, I'll go downstairs."

We go downstairs and I sit on the couch. I hold the bag of ice on my wrist. "What do I do with the ice if someone comes in?"

"Put it on your lip," Guthrie says.

I nod. It's hard to keep from crying too much because it hurts so much. When the door opens Brian walks in and takes his jacket off. When he sees me he asks what happened.

"She hurt herself sledding," Guthrie says.

"You ok?" He asks coming over.

I nod.

"She just hurt her head and she has a fat lip," Guthrie says.

"Well, that bag of ice will take care of that lip," Brian says.

"Where is everybody?"

"Adam and Crane took Evan to rodeo school, and Daniel to his band practice. I think Ford went with them too."

"When will they be back?" I ask.

Brian looks at me. "Why are you crying so much for a fat lip?" He asks.

I stare at him.

"She landed on her head. It must be hurting her," Guthrie says.

"How come she's not talking?" Brian asks Guthrie.

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Are you ok?" Brian asks me. When I nod my head he sits next to me and puts his arm around me so I can lean against him. I flinch and cry out when he puts his arm next to my wrist. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You must've touched her head," Guthrie says.

"Do you want some aspirin?" He asks.

"No," I say. I want to put the ice back on my wrist but I can't. I look up at Brian. "Please don't tell Hannah I got hurt sledding. I'm afraid she won't let me do it anymore."

"Because of a fat lip? She won't care about a fat lip," he says squeezing me which makes me cry out. "Sorry," he says.

"How hurt do you think Heidi would have to be for Hannah to make her stop sledding," Guthrie asks.

"I don't know," Brian says. "Maybe if you broke your arm or leg. Why are you asking? How hard did you hit your head?"

"She didn't hit it very hard," Guthrie says.

"I'm not asking you," Brian says. "How hard Heidi?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

"When Hannah comes home we'll have her look at you."

"No! I don't want Hannah to know! Please don't tell her."

"Ok, ok. But if you don't feel better by the time she gets home, I'm telling her. Do you guys want some lunch?"

"I do," Guthrie says.

"No thanks," I say.

"I'll make some lunch and you're gonna eat it Heidi," Brian says. He gets up and goes into the kitchen.

"Guthrie, it hurts so bad!" I cry quietly.

"Let me see it." I show him. "It's really swollen Heidi. Let me tell him."

"No." I put the ice back on my wrist. "Maybe this will help." I wipe my tears away but more come falling down.

When Brian finishes making lunch he calls us in. I go in and sit at the table. I put the ice on the table, except it's not really ice anymore because it's all melted. I pick up my sandwich with my left hand and take a bite.

"Why are you still crying?" Brian asks. "Did you really hit your head that hard?"

I nod. My head does hurt, but not as much as my wrist. "When are they gonna be home?" I ask.

"Who's 'they'?" He asks.

"Adam."

"I don't know. Why?"

I shrug my shoulders and I try to eat but I'm not that hungry. Besides, it hurts my lip when I eat. "I'm done," I say. "Can I go lay down?"

"Sure. Do you want some more ice for your lip or for your head?" Brian asks.

I nod and he gets up to get me some. Then I go into the living room and lay on the couch. I prop my head up with a pillow and lay my hurt wrist at my side and put the ice on it and rest.

* * *

I don't know how long I've been laying here on the couch, but it must've been a while because the ice is melted. I look at my wrist and it's red and still swollen. Why does it hurt so much? Guthrie comes in and asks how my wrist is. I shake my head. When Brian comes in he sits on the couch and looks at me.

"What's going on? How hard did you hit your head? Let me look at it." He says.

I shake my head.

"You can shake your head all you want to, but I'm gonna look at it. Sit up." He kneels on the floor next to me and I sit up. "Do you have a bump somewhere?"

"No."

"Where does it hurt?"

"Here," I point to the right side of my head.

He looks closer. "I don't see any blood. Are you sure you don't want any aspirin?"

I shrug my shoulders. Maybe it'll help.

"I'll go get you some. Guthrie, get her some water."

They both leave and I lay back down. My head does hurt, but not like my wrist does. I don't know how long I can keep it a secret because it's not feeling better.

When Guthrie brings me my water I whisper, "why isn't it feeling any better?"

"I don't know," he whispers back.

"What are you two whispering about?" Brian asks when he brings me the aspirin.

"Nothing," Guthrie says.

"Here, take these." He gives me the aspirin and I take them.

"When are they coming home?" I cry.

"I don't know," Brian says. "What's wrong?" He lifts me so I'm sitting up and he sits next to me and holds me. I lean into him and cry trying not to let anything touch my wrist. "Sh. I got you. It's gonna be ok." He says.

"Heidi! I think they're back!" Guthrie yells and runs to open the door. "Yeah, it's them! It's Adam and Ford!"

I look at the doorway waiting for them to come in. Guthrie runs out and I can hear him yell.

"Adam! Heidi got hurt and she wants you!"

When Adam comes in he comes over and kneels next to the couch.

"What happened?" He asks.

I look at him and cry. "It hurts!"

"What hurts?" He asks.

"She hit her head sledding," Guthrie says.

Adam looks at me. "Does your head hurt?" I nod my head.

"I looked at her head and I don't see anything wrong. She's been crying for the last hour," Brian tells him. "I think she wants you. She kept asking when you were coming home."

"Come here," Adam says. He reaches for me and I get up from Brian but I can't take the pain anymore.

I hold up my arm. "It hurts!"

"What hurts?" Adam asks.

"My wrist!" I cry. I pull up my sleeve and show him my wrist. It's kind of purple now and it's really swollen.

"Oh Jeez, Heidi!" Brian says. "Why didn't you tell me about your wrist?"

"She didn't want anyone to know," Guthrie says.

"Why not?" Adam asks me while looking into my eyes.

"Because she's afraid Hannah won't let her go sledding again if she finds out she's hurt," Guthrie says.

"You knew this whole time Guthrie, and you didn't tell me?" Brian asks.

"Yes. I'm sorry for not telling you but Heidi told me not to."

"You guys have got to tell us stuff like this," Adam says. "This is important. Her wrist might be broken, we need to take her to the clinic."

"It's Saturday," Brian says. "You're going to have to take her to the emergency room."

Adam looks at me. "It looks like you have a fat lip. What else hurts besides your wrist?"

"My head," I tell him crying. He hugs me.

"She flipped upside down on the bump and landed on her head. It was really slippery so she was going super fast," Guthrie says.

"Well, let's go," Adam says.

"I'll go with you," Brian says.

"Can I go?" Guthrie asks.

"No, you stay here with Ford," Adam says. "When Hannah comes home tell her where we are and that I'll call when I find out what's going on."

"Please don't tell Hannah," I tell Guthrie.

"Heidi," Adam says, "she's going to know. My guess is it's broken. If it's not, it's a bad sprain. Don't worry about Hannah or sledding, ok?" I nod my head. "Accidents happen. It's not the first broken bone we've had in this family from sledding." He smiles at me. "Ok?"

"Ok."

"Let's go. Brian why don't you get some ice and I'll get her jacket. I have a feeling we're gonna be there for a while." Adam gets up to get my jacket and Brian gets up and goes into the kitchen.

Guthrie comes over to me and gives me a hug. "Thanks Guthrie for helping me," I tell him.

"I hope you feel better," he says.

"Me too," Ford says. He gives me a hug too.

"Alright, here's the ice. Hold it on your wrist," Brian says.

"Let's go," Adam says. "Tell Hannah I'll call."

I walk out the door with them to the truck. I sit in the middle and Brian puts his arm around me so I lean against him.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me," he says. He kisses the top of my head and we drive off to the hospital in Sonora.

* * *

When we get to the hospital Adam goes to the front desk to talk to the lady, and me and Brian sit in the waiting room. There's lots of people here. Some look sick and some don't, there's a baby crying too. When Adam's done talking to the lady he comes and sits next to me.

"Here Heidi, the nurse gave me an ice pack for you. She said we need to keep your wrist up like this." He helps me hold my arm at a little bit of an angle. "Looks like they're pretty busy today," he says to Brian.

"Yeah, I think we're going to be here for a while."

We sit and wait for a long time. Brian's already left and walked around the hospital twice and Adam called Hannah. "How long have we been here?" I ask.

"About two hours," Adam says. "How's your wrist?"

"It hurts."

"Do you want another ice pack?"

I shake my head no.

Finally the door opens and the nurse calls my name. Adam gets up and holds out his hand for me to take and we follow her back to a little room with a hospital bed, a chair, a doctor's spinning chair and a bunch of hospital equipment.

"Heidi, sit on the bed," the nurse says. "I'm going to take your temperature. Dad, you can sit on the chair over there."

Before me or Adam can tell her he's not my dad she starts talking again.

"Looks like you hurt your wrist," she says. I nod my head and she sticks a thermometer in my mouth. Then she does a whole lot of other things to me and writes stuff down on her paper. When she takes the thermometer out of my mouth she writes something down on the paper. Then she looks at me and says, "the doctor will be in in a minute." Then she leaves.

I look at Adam. "Am I going to get a shot?" I ask.

"I don't think so," he says.

"You mean I might?" My eyes start to water.

"I don't know Heidi."

"Do I have to stay on the bed?" I ask.

"I guess not. You have to be on it when the doctor comes in to look at you."

I get off the bed and go over to Adam and sit halfway on his lap and lean against his chest. We wait for a while and then I go sit on the doctor's chair and slowly spin around on it for a little while. Then I go back to sit with Adam.

"This is taking a long time," I say.

"I know. That's how emergency rooms are. They have to help a lot of people."

Finally the door opens and the doctor walks in. I get up on the bed.

"Hi Heidi," he says looking at a paper. "I'm Dr. O'Brien." He shakes Adam's hand and Adam says hello to him. "It says here you hurt your wrist. Can you tell me what happened?"

I tell him about sledding and landing on my head.

He looks at my wrist and says, "we're going to have to take some X-rays to see if your wrist is broken." Then he looks at my head and then he shines a light in my eyes and tells me to look at it while he moves it around. Then he does some other stuff.

"Ok, I'll have our X-ray technician come get you for some X-rays and then we'll see if we have a sprained wrist or a broken one." Then he leaves.

I get off the bed and go back to Adam. "Are the X-rays going to hurt?" I ask him.

"No."

"Now do you know if I'm going to get a shot?"

"I don't think you are," he says.

We wait for what seems like forever. Then the door opens up and a man walks in. He's smiling really big.

"Hello Heidi, I'm Dr. Larry. I hear we need to get some X-rays of your wrist," he says. I nod and he says, "follow me."

Me and Adam get up and I take Adam's hand and we follow the man down the hallway to a big room with a big machine in it. I'm scared.

"Hop up," Dr. Larry says, patting this big table bed. Adam lifts me up and sets me on top of it. The doctor starts doing a whole bunch of stuff with the big machine and I look up at Adam.

"I'm scared," I tell him. My eyes start to water. "Is this going to hurt?"

Adam shakes his head and says, "no. It's just going to take a picture of your arm." He holds my hand.

"Ok," Dr. Larry says, "I think I'm ready here." He looks at Adam and says, "if you could just wait out in the hall, we'll be done before you know it."

What! He's gonna leave. Adam starts to take his hand away but I hold on tighter. "Don't go," I say, looking up at him.

"I have to," he says. He smiles at me. "I'll be right outside the door, ok?"

"Ok." I let go and he kisses the top of my head. I watch him leave and then I look at Dr. Larry and watch him put my arm where he wants it.

"We'll be done really quick. I just need to take three pictures and then you can go see your dad," he says.

"He's not my dad. My mom and dad died when I was a little baby. That's my big brother Adam. He's raised me since I was a baby."

Dr. Larry looks at me and smiles. "If he raised you since you were a little baby, it sounds like he's your dad to me." I stare at him. "He sure is acting like your dad. He's doing everything all the other dads do that I see who bring their kids here. Sometimes kids have moms or dads that are grandmas and grandpas, or aunts and uncles, or brothers and sisters. A dad is someone who takes care of you and loves you."

I know Adam takes care of me and I know he loves me, so...

"Hold still," Dr. Larry says. "I'm going to go in that door over there and press a button. Your job is to sit still and don't move, ok?"

I nod my head and watch him leave. I sit as still as I can and then after a little bit he comes back.

"That didn't hurt did it?" He asks.

"No."

"Good. Two more." He moves my arm. "Hold still." He leaves again. "Last one," he says when he comes back.

"Is Larry really your last name?" I ask him.

"No. Dr. Larry is easier for kids to say.

"What's your last name?"

"I'm Dr. Shandelbrunk."

I laugh.

"Ah, so you do know how to smile," he says, smiling at me. "Hold still."

I sit still and he leaves. When he comes back in he moves stuff around and says, "can you hop down and go get your dad, I mean your brother?" He winks at me.

I smile at him and nod. I slide down and go to the door Adam went out. When I open the door Adam is standing there. He smiles at me.

"All done?" He asks. I smile at him and nod my head.

Dr. Larry comes to the door and says, "I'll take you back to the examination room. The X-rays should be ready in about thirty minutes and then the Doctor will look at them." We follow him back to the room we were in. "Bye Heidi. I hope your wrist feels better soon," he says as he shuts the door.

Adam sits down in the chair and I sit on his lap. "What time is it?" I ask.

Adam looks at his watch. "Six o'clock," he says. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes. I didn't eat my lunch because it hurt my lip."

"Maybe we can get something to eat when we're done here."

I nod my head and lean against him. I take his arm and hold it around me. He kisses the top of my head and then we wait.

* * *

When Dr. O'Brien comes back in he says, "well, we've got a hairline fracture in that wrist of yours."

I don't know what that means so I look at Adam.

"That means a small break," he tells me.

"Since it's just a hairline fracture we won't put a big cast on. Just a small one. I'll be back." Then he leaves.

"Is that gonna hurt?" I ask Adam.

"It's going to hurt a little because he has to touch your wrist."

"I don't want him to touch it," I say. I feel like crying.

"I know," he says.

When the doctor comes back he has a nurse with him. I get up on the bed and watch them get stuff ready. It seems like it takes them forever to put the cast on. When they're all done the doctor says goodbye and the nurse takes us out to the desk where the waiting room is. Adam tells me to go find Brian while he signs some papers.

I run over to Brian. He's sitting in the waiting room and he's asleep.

"Brian," I shake him, "Brian. We're done."

He wakes up and looks at me. "It's about time," he says. I can tell he's still tried. "Where's Adam?" He asks.

"He has to sign some papers."

Brian puts me on his lap and closes his eyes.

"Brian?" I whisper.

"What," he says while yawning.

"Is Adam my dad?" I whisper in his ear.

"What?" He asks.

"Is Adam my dad?" I whisper again.

"Yes," he says, and then he starts snoring a little bit.

I look over at Adam and watch him sign the papers and I feel happy.


	6. Chapter 6

When we leave the hospital it's dark outside and freezing cold. Adam helps me put my jacket on because it's too hard for me to do with my cast on.

"Are you hungry?" He asks.

I look up at him and nod my head.

"Do you want McDonalds?" He asks.

I smile and nod my head. We don't get to eat out a whole lot because it's too expensive, so eating at McDonalds is special. We get in the car and Brian drives to the restaurant.

When we get there we all go inside and I tell Adam I want a hamburger, french fries, and a coke. While we're standing at the counter I look up at Adam and watch him order my food. I can't believe he's my dad. I've yelled at him so many times and told him he's not my dad. That must have mad him really sad. I can feel my eyes start to water.

"Heidi." He's talking to me.

"What?"

"I said what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You're staring at me and it looks like you're going to cry. Is your wrist hurting?"

"Um, I think so."

"You don't know if it's hurting?" He looks at me kind of funny.

I shrug my shoulders and look away. When the lady gives us our food the bag looks small and she only gives us one drink.

"Aren't you guys gonna eat?" I ask.

"No," Brian says. "We'll just eat something at home. Hannah said she saved some chili for us."

"Come on, you can eat in the car," Adam says.

He carries my food and we walk out to the car. Brian gets in on the driver's side and me and Adam get in on the other side. When we're all in and Adam hands me my food, we realize I'm not gonna be able to eat without help.

"Here, I'll help you," Adam says while taking out my french fries. "I'll hold them."

"Do you guys want some?" I ask. They both say no.

It's hard to eat using only one hand. When I'm done I sit and listen to Adam and Brian talk. They're talking about ranch stuff. Boring stuff. I look up at Adam and watch him talk. He sees me looking and I look away. He puts his arm around me while he's talking to Brian and I lean against him and close my eyes.

* * *

"Heidi, you're back!" Guthrie is the first one to greet me at the door when we get home. We hug each other and I show him my cast. Everyone else gives me hugs too.

"Can I be the first one to sign your cast?" Guthrie asks.

"Sure," I tell him. He runs to get a pen and I go into the kitchen and sit down at the table. Everyone gathers around waiting to sign my cast. They ask lots of questions about the hospital and I answer them.

When everyone's done signing my cast Hannah says, "you really should have your arm in a sling. I'm surprised the doctor didn't do that."

I don't know what she's talking about but she leaves and when she comes back she has a dish towel or something that looks like one. She starts to put it on me, but I pull away.

"This will help keep your wrist still," she says while trying to put it on again. I let her this time, but I don't like it.

"I can't move my arm," I tell her.

"That's the point. The sling keeps your arm still."

"I don't like it."

"Didn't the doctor suggest a sling?" Hannah asks Adam.

"The nurse wrote down some instructions." He takes a folded up paper out of his pocket. "Keep your arm still for the first three days. No running, no playing on playground equipment, no sledding, and don't get your cast wet."

"It doesn't say to wear a sling," I say. "Do I have to wear it?" I ask Adam.

"I think it would be a good idea," he says.

I sigh. "Ok." I'll wear it because Adam wants me to. Then I think about the paper he just read. "What am I supposed to do if I can't play?"

"You do quiet things inside," Hannah says.

"That doesn't sound like fun," I say quietly.

Everyone laughs a little.

"Why don't we all play a game together," Crane says.

"Yeah," Guthrie says. "That would be fun! It's been a long time since we've all played a game together."

"What game do you want to play Heidi?" Daniel asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

"Let's play poker!" Guthrie says.

Everyone laughs.

"All of us?" Ford asks.

"Sure," Hannah says. "We'll just use two decks.

I don't really feel like playing, but there's nothing else to do. Guthrie gets the cards and chips and everyone sits at the table.

"I wanna be the dealer!" Guthrie yells.

Everyone laughs. "Ok."

"Ante up!" Guthrie says. He's excited.

He deals out the cards. I pick up my cards and realize I can't hold them right. How am I supposed to play if I can't see my cards? This isn't fun.

Everyone puts a chip in except for me.

"Put a bet in Heidi," Guthrie says.

"I don't have any good cards," I say.

They start playing and I watch. I get up and Brian asks where I'm going.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I lean over and whisper in his ear.

He nods and I leave. It's a half truth, I do have to go, but I also don't want to play. I go upstairs to the bathroom. Why do my jeans have to have a button! I can't unbutton it! I leave and go to my bedroom. I get on my bed and sit there and cry. I don't like having a cast. I can't use my hand. I lay down and look at my clock. 9:30. We were in Sonora for a long time. I can hear everyone downstairs laughing and it sounds like fun.

"What are you doing in here?" Adam asks, coming into my bedroom.

He startles me so I jump a little. I wipe my eyes and sit up.

"Are you tired?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"What's wrong?" He asks. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I can't do anything!" I cry. "I can't hold my cards in my hand, I can't play, and I can't even unbutton my jeans to go to the bathroom."

He sits on the bed and hugs me. After a minute he says, "I'll help you."

When I come out of the bathroom Adam is waiting in the hallway.

"Why don't you come play poker with me. I'll hold the cards and you can do the betting, ok?"

"Ok," I say, smiling up at him. That sounds like fun and we walk back downstairs together.

* * *

We play a few hands and lose all of them. Then we get dealt a hand with two queens, a two, a nine and a king. I like queens. I point to the queens and look up at Adam and he nods. I bet half our chips.

"Woah," Adam says. "What are you doing?"

"Betting." Then I whisper, "we could get more queens, maybe three more."

"Ok," he says smiling and shaking his head.

Guthrie deals Adam three cards and when he holds them up we have another queen. I smile.

"Looks like Adam and Heidi have a good hand," Crane says. "Heidi is smiling real big."

I put the rest of our chips in the pile.

"What are you doing?" Adam asks.

"Queens are good," I whisper.

"But that's all our chips. If we lose we're out."

"We're not gonna lose," I whisper. "Queens are high."

"Too rich for me," Brian says. "I fold." Crane, Hannah and Daniel fold too.

Evan says, "I'm in." He puts a lot of chips in.

Ford and Guthrie fold too.

"Ok, turn your cards over," Evan says.

We both do and Evan has four twos.

"We win!" I yell.

Everyone laughs and Evan says," no you don't!"

"Yes we do! We have queens! Queens beat twos!"

"You only have three. I have four of a kind," he says while taking all the chips.

"Oh." Darn. I look up at Adam. "Sorry," I say.

He smiles and says, "that's ok." I sit with him for a little while and then get up and walk around the table. I look at Ford's cards and giggle. He has nothing.

"Quit looking at my cards," he says while putting them down on the table.

I move over to Crane. He has a pair of aces and a pair of fours. "You should bet everything!" I say.

Everyone laughs and says, "I'm out!"

Crane turns and says, "go help someone else."

Guthrie deals again and I try to look at his cards but he slaps them down on the table. "You're not looking at mine!"

Hannah smiles at me, but she won't let me look at hers either. I move to Evan and gasp. He quickly sets them down.

"How'd you get all those!" I yell. He has five jacks!

Everyone groans and Evan says, "go away!"

"Get over here," Adam says. I walk over and he puts me on his lap. "You're ruining the game."

I sit and watch my family play. Everyone's really happy. It makes me feel happy. I love my brothers, and Hannah. I look up at Adam and watch him talk. He's happy too.

"What?" He says, looking down at me.

"Nothing," I say smiling.

"You look happy," he says.

"I am," I say. He kisses my forehead and goes back to talking while I stare up at him.

* * *

When Hannah and Guthrie are out of chips, Adam says it's bedtime for us.

"I'll help you get ready," Hannah tells me.

"First I want to talk to you guys though," Adam says. He walks us to the couch.

"I don't like you guys hiding stuff from us," Adam says. He looks at me. "You were seriously hurt Heidi. You should've told Brian so he could put some ice on your wrist."

My eyes start to water. "I'm sorry," I say quietly.

Then Adam looks at Guthrie. "You too. I don't like you hiding stuff either. And just because Heidi tells you to do something, doesn't mean you have to do it. Especially when she's hurt."

"Sorry," Guthrie says.

Then Hannah looks at me and says, "just because you got hurt doesn't mean I'm not going to let you go sledding anymore."

"But I heard you say you didn't think I should be sledding and flying up in the air like that," I tell her.

"That's true, I don't think you should be doing that," she says.

"But it's fun!"

"Maybe you should just go sledding without the bumps that make you fly up in the air."

I look at Adam, but he's not saying anything. "That's not fair!"

"You two need to get ready for bed," Adam says. "It's late."

We get up and Hannah reaches for my hand, but I pull it away. "I don't want you to help me! I want Adam!" I yell.

Hannah looks a little sad and then she looks at Adam. He takes my hand and says, "lets go. I'll help you."

Hannah goes back into the kitchen and Adam walks upstairs with me and Guthrie.

"Heidi, I think you hurt Hannah's feelings," he says.

I don't say anything. I feel a little bad, but I'm also mad. She's treating me like a little baby.

Adam helps me get ready for bed and tucks me in.

"Adam, Hannah's treating me like a baby. I like flying in the air when I'm sledding. I've been doing it for years and I never got hurt bad until now."

"I know. I'll talk to her about it. But it doesn't matter right now anyway because you can't go sledding for a few weeks."

"What! I thought it was only for a few days!"

"We'll talk about it later. Right now you need to go to sleep."

"Ok. Can you tell me a story about when one of you guys broke your arm going sledding?" I ask.

He tells me a story about Daniel breaking his arm when he went sledding and went flying off the course and ran into a tree. I smile.

"Goodnight," he says kissing my forehead.

I grab his hand before he can stand up.

"Don't go," I say.

"Why? What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing. I just don't want you to go yet." I keep holding onto his hand and staring at him.

"What's wrong? You've been looking at me like that ever since we left the hospital."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Ok, I'll stay a little longer."

"No. You have to stay until I fall asleep," I tell him.

"Why? What's wrong with you? Are you scared of something?" He asks.

I shake my head. "You just have to stay."

He smiles at me.

"Will you sing something?" I ask. I'm still holding onto his hand. I'm not gonna let go either.

He starts to sing but I stop him.

"No, sing something your dad used to sing to you."

He looks at me kind of funny," you mean _our_ dad."

I nod.

"Hmmm. Let me think." He thinks for a while and then starts singing again. I stare at him until my eyes can't stay open anymore. Then I fall asleep.

* * *

"Heidi! Get up!" Guthrie is yelling at me so I open my eyes and sit up. "Get up! We're going to get our Christmas tree today!" Then he's gone.

Yeah, I love picking out the Christmas tree! I get out of bed and then look at the cast on my arm. I guess I'm gonna need help getting ready. I go downstairs and into the kitchen where everyone else is. Everyone is eating breakfast and talking about getting the tree. I sit at my spot and Hannah puts a pancake on a plate and cuts it up for me.

"Thanks," I tell her. "I'm so excited to pick out the tree today!"

She looks at me and says, "I don't think you should go with a cast on. I'm sure someone won't mind staying home with you."

"What!" I yell, standing up. Everyone's looking at me now.

"What's wrong?" Crane asks.

"I just told Heidi I don't think she should go with us today," Hannah says.

"I don't want to stay home! Everybody _always_ goes to pick out the tree!" I yell at her.

"Calm down Heidi," Brian says. "No one's going to make you stay home."

"She shouldn't go," Hannah says. "She just got her cast put on last night. She should be staying home and resting."

I look down at Adam. He looks at Hannah and says, "we all go when we pick out the tree."

"Yeah," Daniel says. "We'll just put a plastic bag on her cast. She'll be fine."

"I don't think it's a good idea," Hannah says. "She should be resting."

"That's not fair," I cry. "I don't want to stay home. I'm not gonna stay home!" I yell at her. "I'm gonna go upstairs and get dressed!" I run out of the kitchen and upstairs.

"Don't run!" Hannah yells after me.

When I get to my room I slam my door shut. It's easy to take my pajamas off, but it's hard to get dressed. So I sit on my bed and cry. This isn't fair. I'm mad at Hannah. There's a knock on my door and Adam says, "can I come in?"

"No! I'm not dressed yet!" I yell.

"Let me know when you are," he says. "I'll wait out here."

"I need help," I say quietly, but loud enough that he can hear me.

"I'll get Hannah," he says.

"No!" I yell.

"Do you want me to help you?" He asks.

"Yes," I say quietly.

He opens the door and comes in and helps me get dressed.

"Adam, I don't want to stay home."

"You're not. We're all going to go pick out the tree," he says.

"I am?" That makes me smile.

"Yes," he says. "We would never leave you at home." I hug him. "We'll put a plastic bag on your cast and everything will be fine."

"Thank you."

When I'm all dressed I go downstairs and wait on the couch for everyone else to be ready. Hannah comes over with a plastic bag.

"I'm sorry Heidi," she says. She sits on the couch and smiles at me. "I'm glad you're going with us."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I'm still mad at her so I don't look at her.

"Let me put this bag over your cast."

I let her do that and then she wants to put the sling back on.

"I don't want to wear that. I can't move with it on."

"You need to."

"How am I going to wear my jacket with that thing on?" I ask.

"You'll see." She says, and she puts on the sling.

When she goes upstairs I glare at her. Ford comes downstairs and laughs at me.

"You look mad," he says.

"I am! I hate this stupid sling thing!"

"Cheer up, we're going to get our tree!" He says sitting next to me.

I look at him. "Ok." I smile because picking out the tree is one of my favorite things to do at christmas time.

* * *

When everyone's ready to go we all head outside. "I wanna ride in the back of the truck!" Guthrie yells.

"Me too!" I yell.

"No, Heidi," Hannah says. "You need to ride inside. Come sit next to me in the truck."

"No thanks," I say looking down at the ground. "I'll ride in the jeep." I look up and watch Ford jump in the back of the truck with Guthrie. That's not fair. Then I get in the jeep.

* * *

We drive up to the high country. We've been going to the same place every year to pick out a tree. Our mom and dad went there when they first got married and then they went there every year after that. We drive on an old forest road until we get to the locked gate and park our cars. Then we go hike for the perfect Christmas tree.

We get started walking. The sun is out but it still feels cold. Not freezing cold, but cold. The snow is powdery and untouched. It's knee-deep on me so I walk in my brother's footsteps. It's fun. Everyone's happy and laughing, and running around throwing snowballs at each other. I am too, I'm just not running around.

After we've walked for a while Guthrie says, "how about that tree?" He points to a short, fat tree.

"No, it's too fat!" I say.

We walk some more and I see the perfect tree. It's just the right height and it's not fat. "That one!" I say.

"No, that one's not tall enough," Hannah says.

We walk some more and everyone starts pointing out trees but Hannah keeps saying they're not tall enough. It feels like we've been walking forever. I start slowing down.

"Just pick one!" I say. It's starting to not be fun anymore.

"How tall do you want it to be?" Brian asks.

"We have such a big living room it should be at least as tall as the stairs," Hannah says.

"What!" I say. Everybody else kind of says that too.

"Hannah, I don't think we can fit a tree that size in the truck," Adam says.

"Sure we can," she says. "Come on. Let's keep going. We'll find the perfect tree, you'll see."

Guthrie rolls his eyes at me and I think I hear some of my brothers groan.

"I'm tired," I yell. I stop walking and sit down in the snow which I shouldn't have done because it's so powdery it almost covers me up.

Crane laughs and helps me up. "Here, get on my back. I'll give you a piggyback ride." He turns around so I can jump on his back.

"I can't!" I say. "I'm wearing this stupid sling!"

He turns around. "Sorry, I forgot."

"I could take it off," I suggest.

"No, Hannah wouldn't like that," he says. "Come on, you can keep up."

We keep walking and Hannah finally stops in front of this huge tree.

"That's it!" She says.

My brothers laugh. "That will never fit in the truck!"

"It's huge!" Someone says.

"I think it'll take us all day to saw that down!" Crane says.

"We have to dig it out first!" Ford says.

"Come on boys!" Hannah says. "Where's your Christmas spirit? This is perfect!"

"Ok," Adam says. "If that's the one you want, we'll get it. Right boys?"

"Alright," Brian says, "you heard what the boss said. Let's get busy."

"Me and Heidi will dig it out!" Guthrie yells.

We run to the tree but Hannah grabs me. "Not you," she says.

I watch Guthrie, Evan and Ford start flinging snow around with their hands. It looks like fun. "I can use my good hand," I tell Hannah.

"No, you can watch," she says.

I look for a place to sit and watch, but Guthrie comes over and says, "come on, let's go exploring. This is gonna take them forever."

"We're going exploring!" Guthrie yells, and we start walking off.

"Don't go too far," Adam says.

"Wait," Hannah says. "Heidi shouldn't be going."

I look at Adam and plead with my eyes for him to let me go.

"She'll be fine," he says. I smile at him.

"Aren't you worried they're going to get lost?" Hannah asks.

Everyone kind of laughs at that.

"What?" She asks.

"Hannah, all you have to do is follow our footprints!" Guthrie says.

We walk off and Adam calls after us, "I mean it! Don't go too far!"

"We won't!" We both yell back.

* * *

We've been walking for a while and we can't see or hear anyone anymore.

"Do you think Hannah's being too overprotective?" I ask Guthrie.

"Yeah," he says. "I don't think everyone liked the tree she picked out either."

"I know. I hope it fits in the truck," I say.

"Where are we all gonna sit on the way back? That tree's gonna take up the whole back of the truck, and it's gonna hang over the top too!"

"Yeah, where are we all gonna sit?" I say. We're quiet for a minute. "I know who I'm not gonna sit next to."

"Maybe we can leave her here and Adam can come back for her later," Guthrie says.

I laugh. Then I feel bad. "I guess that's not a really nice thing to joke about."

"You're right," Guthrie says.

"I'm still not gonna sit next to her though."

We keep walking and then we both stop when we reach a huge open area. It's beautiful! There's no trees at all, just snow everywhere as far as you can see.

"Wow!" Guthrie says. "Let's go!"

We start running towards it. After a while we have to stop because we come to a break in the snow. It's like a crack, only it's a crack that's about four feet across to the other side.

"It looks like it's a creek," Guthrie says.

It looks like it goes forever to our right and left, but we want to jump across it, and it looks easy to do.

"Let's jump it," Guthrie says.

"Ok, but I need both my arms to balance," I tell him.

"Take your jacket and sling off and throw it over to the other side," Guthrie says.

I take them off and hand them to Guthrie. "You need to throw them. I can't throw as far with my left hand."

Guthrie throws them as far as he can, and they land far away on the other side. We both stand at the edge of the crack and jump. When we land on the other side the snow gives way under our feet and we fall to the bottom of the crack. The ground is hard and hurts, but we're ok. We look at each other and laugh.

"You ok?" Guthrie asks.

"Yeah! That was fun."

We stand up and the crack is deep, just our heads are visible from the top. Well, mostly just Guthrie's head. I look at the ground I'm standing on.

"It's ice Guthrie! We're standing on ice!" I'm excited. This crack is cool.

"Yeah. Hey, that sound I hear must be water! I bet we're standing on a creek! This is cool!"

"Let's walk down this way," I say, as I start walking down the creek. Actually, it's more like sliding instead of walking. It starts to go downhill.

"It's like a water slide!" I say. "A water slide made of ice!"

"Let's slide down it" Guthrie says.

We sit down and slide a little. When we come to a flat part we get up and walk and then sit down and slide when we come to the downhill part again. The water sound is getting louder now.

"Wow!" I stop at the top of a long downhill part. "It's like a real slide," I tell Guthrie. "Should I go down?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"Let's go together." I tell him.

We both sit down and Guthrie sits behind me and puts his hands around my waist. We slide down and when we get closer to the bottom I can see it looks like a small pool covered with ice. When we reach the pool the ice breaks and we fall into freezing cold water.


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh my gosh!" I yell. "It's so cold!"

I scramble to stand up. Guthrie helps me up and we look around. We're knee-deep in water! I look up and it looks like we're at the bottom of a hole. The top looks like it's about twice as tall as Guthrie and there are bushes all around the top hanging over the edge.

"How are we gonna get out of here?" I yell.

Guthrie tries to pull me out of the water and over to the edge where the water's not deep, but my boot gets stuck.

"Stop!" I yell. "My boot's stuck!"

He stops pulling and I try to get it out, but I can't.

"I can't do it!" I cry. Really cold water is going down inside my boots.

Guthrie tries to pull my boot out. "I can't get it out with your foot in it. Take your foot out."

"The water's too cold!" I cry.

"But we have to get your boot out so we can stand over there where there's no water. Take your foot out!"

"Ok," I say. "You have to help." He tries to help but we can't do it.

"Sit down and it'll be easier."

"In the water?" I ask.

"It's the only way," he says.

I sit down and it's cold. "Hurry up!" I cry.

My snow pants are all wet, but because I'm wearing them I stay dry. I keep my cast held high in the air even though it still has the plastic bag on it so it won't get wet.

When Guthrie gets my foot out he helps me up and I walk to the other side. My foot feels so cold it hurts. Guthrie gets my boot out and brings it over. I push my foot in it but it's soaking wet so it doesn't really warm my foot. I take my foot back out and Guthrie takes his jacket off and wraps it around my foot.

We look at each other and I can tell he wants to cry too. He looks around and tries to climb up the side of the hole, but he can't. It's too steep. He tries again in another spot, but he still can't reach the top.

He looks at me. "I'll get us out of here," he says. "Don't worry, ok?"

I nod, but I also can't stop crying. He's wet too, so I know he has to be just as cold as I am. He tries to climb up the ice slide we just slid down, but it's too slippery. He sits down next to me and puts his arm around me. It's so cold down here.

"This was so stupid!" He says. "What was I thinking!"

"It's ok, Guthrie. It's not your fault. We'll get out of here."

"How?" He asks. I think he's crying now.

"I don't know. Someone will come for us."

We sit on the ground huddled together and wait.

* * *

"Listen!" Guthrie says. "I think I hear Ford."

I listen and I can hear him too. Evan too. They almost always send Evan and Ford to look for us.

"Ford! Evan!" We yell.

"Where are you guys?" Evan yells. It sounds like they're at the top of the ice slide.

"Down here!" Guthrie yells.

"Quit fooling around and come out. They're taking the tree to the truck now and we want to go home."

"We can't!" Guthrie yells.

"Why not? Come on, I mean it! It's time to go!" Evan yells.

"We're stuck!" Guthrie yells.

"Where?"

"Down here!"

"Climb out and let's go!"

"No, we're really stuck! We can't climb out!" Guthrie yells.

"How'd you get down there?" Evan yells.

"We slid down!"

"Come to the bottom of the ice and we'll see if we can pull you out!" Evan yells.

Guthrie walks in the water and stands at the bottom of the ice slide. "Can you see me?" He calls up.

"No! Where are you?" Evan says.

"Down here!" He yells.

"We're gonna have to go get help," Evan yells down.

"No don't! Please don't tell anyone we're down here!" Guthrie yells. "Can't you guys just help us?"

"We can't even see you! We'll be back!"

"Hurry! We're wet and cold!" Guthrie yells.

"How'd you get wet?" Evan asks.

"There's water down here."

"We're going now. We'll bring help." Evan says.

"Ok," Guthrie says and he walks back over to me and sits down.

"I'm cold," I tell him.

"I know, me too. They'll be back soon." He puts his arm around me and we sit and wait again.

* * *

"Guthrie! Heidi!" We hear Brian yelling our names.

"We're down here!" Guthrie yells.

I hear a lot of bush branches snapping like someone's walking on them.

"Where are you?" Brian yells.

"Down here!" Guthrie yells up.

The bushes above us are moving and pretty soon we see Brian come out of them.

"What the heck are you doing down there!" He yells. He comes down the dirt wall. He only has to slide down a little way and then he can jump the rest of the way down.

"How are we gonna get up with you down here?" I cry. "Now we're all three stuck!"

"Quit crying! You shouldn't even be down here! I'm gonna lift you to the top and Adam and Daniel are gonna pull you up the rest of the way."

"But I don't see them!" I cry.

"Oh, they're up there! They just have to get through the bushes. How'd you guys get down here?" He asks.

We just stare at him because he's mad.

"How! And why are you all wet? Where's your jacket, Heidi?"

"Why are you mad at us!" I yell while putting my wet boot back on. "We were just having fun! We slid down the ice. It's an ice slide!"

"You can't just slide down a bunch of ice without knowing what's at the bottom!" He yells.

"Now we know," Guthrie says quietly.

"Where's your jacket!" Adam yells from the top.

I think he's mad too.

"On the other side," I say.

"What?"

"The other side!" I yell up.

"God dammit! The other side of what Heidi!"

Yeah, he's mad.

"It's where we tried to jump across the creek," Guthrie says.

"Evan!" Adam yells.

"What!"

"Go back to where they tried to jump across the creek and look for Heidi's jacket!"

I can see Daniel at the top now too.

"You're first," Brian says. He picks me up and lifts me as high as he can and Adam and Daniel lift me up to the top.

"You're all wet!" Adam yells at me.

I look at him and start crying.

"Daniel, take her out to where Crane is," Adam says.

Daniel takes my hand and leads me out of the bushes. When I see Crane I run up to him and hug him.

"Everybody's mad at us," I cry.

He hugs me back and says, "you're wet, and you don't have a jacket! You must be freezing!"

"I'm cold," I tell him. He's nice and warm. I'm out in the sun again so that helps too.

I can hear Guthrie and everyone else walking through the bushes.

"What were you guys thinking?" Adam yells at Guthrie.

"I don't know. We were just having fun," he says.

"I'm cold," I say. I'm freezing and shivering.

"You should be!" Adam yells. He takes his jacket off and puts it around me. "That was a stupid thing you guys did! Let's get going!"

We start walking back and the snow is really deep for me. It's above my knees. It doesn't take long before I'm way behind. I'm trying to walk in their footsteps but it's hard because they're so deep.

"Come on!" Brian yells back at me.

I cry. "I'm trying!" I yell. "It's hard!" I try to walk faster but it's too hard. Especially with Adam's big jacket on me. I finally give up and sit in the snow and watch them get farther away. This is the worst Christmas tree picking day ever!

"Get up!" Brian yells.

"No! It's too hard! I can't walk anymore!"

Everyone stops and turns around while Brian walks back to me and says, "fine! I'll carry you!"

"No! You're yelling at me! I don't want you to carry me if you're mad at me!"

"Then you can sit in the snow and freeze!" He yells.

Right now I'm so cold and tired I don't care about anything anymore, so I cover my face with my hands and cry. I feel Brian picking me up. "I don't want you," I tell him quietly. "I want Adam."

He carries me over to Adam and says, "here, she wants you." He passes me off to Adam and we all start walking back.

I put my arms tightly around his neck and he says, "I swear Heidi, sometimes I don't know what you and Guthrie are thinking."

"We were having fun. There were ice slides down there," I tell him.

"And not once did you think maybe the ice would break?"

"No. It broke at the bottom of the slide, though. The water was really cold. My boot got stuck so I had to take my foot out in the water. Now my foot and the inside of my boots are wet."

"You took your foot out in the water?"

"Yes."

"When we get to the truck I want you to take your boot off and wrap your foot in your jacket, ok?"

I nod. We're quiet and then I ask, "are you mad at me?"

He sighs. "I'm disappointed in you. I wish you would think first before you do stuff."

"I did think. I thought it would be fun to slide down the ice," I tell him.

He stops walking and says, "look at me!" I lean my head back so I can look at him. "Do you _want_ me to be mad at you? Because you know that's not what I mean when I say I want you to think first, right?"

"Yes," I say quietly.

"Maybe Hannah's right. Maybe I do need to watch you better."

"No! I'll think next time, ok? I promise!"

Evan comes up to us with my jacket and Adam puts me down. I give him his jacket and he helps me put on mine. "Where's your sling?" He asks.

"It was with my jacket." We look at Evan.

"Ford's got it," he says.

Adam looks down at me and says, "I'm also disappointed you took your sling off."

"I couldn't jump across the creek with it on. I had to take it off."

"You've got a cast on, you'd better start thinking a whole lot better than that. You shouldn't be jumping over a creek to begin with. I want to see you thinking today before you do something or you're going to be spending a whole lot of time inside the house."

"Ok."

The snow's not as deep here so I walk over to Guthrie and we walk back together.

"I didn't think they'd get mad at us," Guthrie says.

"I know."

* * *

When we finally get to the truck I laugh. "How are we supposed to drive the truck with that big tree on it?"

"Just get in the truck so we can go home," Brian says.

"How are we all gonna fit?" I ask. "No one can sit in the back of the truck because the tree's so big!"

"You're sitting on Daniel's lap," he says.

"Why do _I_ have to?"

"Because you're the littlest. Now get in."

Brian, Guthrie, Daniel and I cram in the truck. It's really crowded. Brian starts the truck and drives us home. My feet are freezing so I have Daniel help me take my boots off and he wraps my feet up in my jacket.

* * *

After we've been driving for a while Daniel says, "I don't think this truck's going to make it home with this big tree on it."

"I know," Brian says. "We'll know pretty soon though, we're at the bottom of the grade."

The truck feels like it's getting slower. "Floor it Brian," Daniel says.

"I am! This is the fastest it's gonna go."

"It's not gonna make it!" Guthrie says.

The truck slows down until it just stops. "Now what do we do?" I ask.

Brian and Daniel get out of the truck so Guthrie helps me put my boots back on and we get out of the truck too. The jeep drives up behind us and everyone gets out.

Brian pops the hood and my brothers all look inside.

"I hope it doesn't need a tow," Crane says. "We can't afford that."

"Maybe we can just push it up the grade with the jeep." Adam says.

Guthrie and I walk to the side of the road and look around. "It looks like a pretty good hill to roll down," Guthrie says.

"That's what I was thinking!"

We smile at each other, lay down and roll down the hill. It's so much fun and it makes us laugh.

"Hey!" Adam yells. "What do you think you're doing Heidi! You've got a cast on! Get up here!"

I climb back up and Adam walks over and says, "what part of that was thinking?"

I stare up at him, "I wasn't thinking," I say quietly.

"You've got a cast on! Go sit down somewhere!"

I walk past the jeep and find a snow bank to sit on. Hannah walks over to me.

"Let me put the sling back on," she says. I let her and then she says, "when we get back home you should really rest your arm."

"It feels fine Hannah. It doesn't hurt at all."

"Still, you should rest. Just like you're doing now. Keep your arm still," she says and then she walks back over to the truck.

Guthrie walks over to me and sits down. "What do you want to do?" He asks.

"I don't know, I'm supposed to sit here."

"We could have a snowball fight. I could go behind this bank." The bank is taller than both of us so it would be the perfect fort.

"Ok," I say.

He climbs over the bank and I start getting snowballs ready. It's hard because I only have one hand. A snowball hits me in the head. I laugh and throw one over the bank, but I can't see Guthrie so I don't know where to aim. He can obviously see me because he keeps hitting me in the head with snowballs.

I stand up and climb up the bank and look over it. He's climbing up to the top of the bank with a snowball in his hand. I push snow from the bank down on top of him. He laughs and falls down. I stay up there and push snow down on top of him.

"I got you now!" I yell, laughing at him.

He starts climbing with a bunch of snow in his hand so I start pushing snow down on him really fast. We're both laughing and when he gets to the top he throws the snow on me and I start to lose my balance. Since I have the sling on I can't stop myself from falling backwards.

"Woah!" I yell laughing while I fall backwards slowly, sliding head first down the bank. When I land at the bottom I lay there laughing and Guthrie dumps a bunch of snow on me.

"What are you doing!" Adam yells. I sit up and turn around. He's walking over here fast. I look up at him when he gets here. "I told you to sit down! I'm getting really mad at you! Why don't you go sit in the truck!"

I stand up and walk by him and over to the truck. When I get in I shut the door and sit and stare out the window. Guthrie comes over so I roll down the window.

"Sit in here with me," I say.

"Ok, first let me ask them how much longer it's gonna be before the truck's fixed." He walks to the front of the truck and then comes around to the driver's side and gets in.

"What'd they say?" I ask.

"Nothing. They ignored me. They're kind of arguing with each other about how to fix the truck. They're mad too."

We sit in silence listening to them arguing. I sigh. "We could listen to the radio," I suggest.

"Ok," Guthrie says.

I turn the knob on but it doesn't go on.

"I think we have to turn the key," Guthrie says as I reach for the key, "no don't! Don't turn it all the way!" Too late. The truck turns on a little and I hear one of my brothers yell.

"What the heck are you doing!" Adam yells. He's at my window now. I scoot as close to Guthrie as I can get and stare at Adam. "Get out!"

I whisper to Guthrie, "I'm getting out on your side."

We get out and Adam walks around to us. "Come here!" he yells at me.

I move a little behind Guthrie.

He stops walking and says, "get over here."

"Why?" I ask. I'm not going over there unless I know what he wants first.

He walks towards me and I think about running but I don't. He puts his hand under my armpit and leads me over to the side of the road. He guides me down so I'm sitting down in the snow.

"Look at me," he says. I look up. "Sit here and do not move! If you move you're going to wish you hadn't! Do you understand me?"

"Yes," I say quietly.

"Good!" He walks back to where Guthrie is. "Don't go near her!" Then he walks back to the front of the truck.

I'm sitting in the sun which is good because it warms me up. I take my boots off. The sun feels warm but the air is cold. I watch Adam get in the jeep and Brian get in the truck. Adam drives the jeep up to the truck so they're touching each other and then he gets out and Ford gets in. Ford drives the jeep and my brothers and Hannah push the truck up the hill.

It's working. The truck's going up the hill. They're getting farther and farther away. Evan leaves them and starts walking back towards me. I watch him get closer and he yells, "come on!"

I start to put my boots on but I can't with one hand. "I need help!" I yell.

He starts walking faster. When he gets to me he says, "why'd you take your boots off?"

"My feet are cold. My boots are wet inside and I can't put them back on."

He kneels down and puts them on. Then we get up and walk up the grade. After a while I slow down.

"Evan, I'm tired."

"I know, me too."

"Do you think the tree made the truck die?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says. "I think it's too big."

I stop walking. This hill is steep. "Evan, I'm too tired to walk anymore."

"Ok, we'll sit and wait for them to come back for us."

We sit down on the side of the road.

"Did you like picking out the tree today?" I ask.

"I guess," he says. "It was kind of different."

"Yeah, parts of it were fun, but parts of it weren't. Can I take my boots off again? My feet are cold."

"Sure," he says.

When I get my boots off I ask, "when do you think they'll be back?"

"I don't know."

"I'm bored," I say.

"See that big tree across the road with the broken branch?" Evan asks.

"Yeah."

"Let's see who can hit the branch with a snowball first."

"Ok!" I yell.

We play the game and Evan hits the branch first but we keep playing.

"Evan, me and Guthrie need to talk to you and Daniel about something."

"What?" He asks.

"I can't tell you. We have to tell you together."

"Can you at least give me a hint?" He asks.

"Nope!"

"Aw, come on! I'll give you a dollar," he says.

"Do you even have a dollar?" I ask, smiling at him.

"I might," he says, smiling back.

"Ok, I'll give you a hint. It has something to do with the girl you like," I tell him.

"Who? Becky?"

I smile really big and nod my head.

"What about her?"

"Nothing," I say. "You have to wait until Daniel's here."

"Tell me Heidi! What does Daniel have to do with Becky?"

"I can't tell you!" I say.

He's quiet for a while and then he looks at me. "Does Daniel like her too?"

I stare at him. He's not smiling anymore.

"Tell me Heidi! Does Daniel like her too? Is that the girl he's been talking about?"

"Yes," I say quietly.

"But he's going on a date with her!" He yells.

"I know. She called our house and asked him out," I tell him.

"What!" He sounds really mad now. He gets up and starts kicking the snow on the side of the road around. "He can't go out with her! She's going out with me!"

"Why do you think she asked him out when she was already going out with you?" I ask. That seems to make him madder because now he's throwing snow. "Evan, maybe you shouldn't go out with her."

"Shut up Heidi!"

"No, I mean, I don't think Daniel should go out with her either," I say.

"Sorry," he says. "I just really like her a lot!"

"Maybe Daniel doesn't like her as much as you. Maybe he'll give her to you."

I think I made him mad again because now he's pacing. I see a car coming down the grade and it's our jeep.

"Evan, the jeep's coming. Can you help me put my boots back on."

He helps me and Ford pulls up in the jeep and we get in.

* * *

Ford drives us up the grade. When we pull up to the truck everyone's standing around it. Evan jumps out of the jeep and makes a beeline towards Daniel.

"Daniel!" He yells.

I get out and run after him.

"Evan stop!" I yell. I catch up to him and pull on his arm.

"Get off me Heidi!" He shakes me off his arm and I fall to the ground. "Are you going out with Becky!" He yells at Daniel. He keeps walking straight towards Daniel and he's not slowing down. I think he's gonna hit him.

"Wait! Stop Evan! I shouldn't have told you!"

But he doesn't stop.


	8. Chapter 8

"Woah! Hold on Evan!" Brian yells, stepping in front of him. Evan wants to keep walking towards Daniel, but Brian holds him back.

"Let me go!" Evan yells trying to get away. "I want to know if you're going out with Becky Winters!" He yells at Daniel.

Daniel looks at Evan and says, "yeah. She asked me out."

"That's who I like! I asked her to the dance!"

"I like her too!" Daniel yells. "She asked _me_ out!"

Evan tries to make a lunge towards Daniel, and Crane helps Brian hold him back.

"Calm down Evan!" Adam yells.

"Why! I was going out with her first!" Evan yells.

"Well, it sounds like she wants to go out with me!" Daniel yells back.

"Hey!" Adam yells. "You're brothers!"

Guthrie runs over to me. "Did you tell Evan?"

"Yeah. I didn't know they'd get mad at each other. They look like they want to punch each other. I feel like crying."

"Why don't we see who she likes better!" Evan yells.

"Fine! We'll let her decide!"

"You're brothers!" Crane yells. "She's not worth it!"

"Trust me," Brian says, "don't let her do this to you. Does she know you're brothers?"

Evan looks at me so I shrug my shoulders. Then everyone else looks at me.

"She called the house asking for Daniel," I tell them.

"Look, let's go home and get this tree up. You guys can talk about this later," Adam says.

"I'm not riding in the same car as you!" Evan yells looking at Daniel.

"Same here!" Daniel yells.

They're still yelling at each other a lot. I feel like crying. I shouldn't have told Evan. Hannah walks over and asks me what's wrong.

"I shouldn't have said anything," I tell her. "Now they're fighting."

"They're not fighting because you told them," she says. "They're fighting because Becky is going out with both of them. It's ok that you told them now. It would be worse for them to find out when Evan takes Becky to the dance and Daniel sees them together."

"I guess so." I say. But I still feel bad because now they're really mad at each other.

Brian and Crane are pushing Evan towards the jeep and making him get in, while Adam stays with Daniel. I guess to make sure he doesn't go after Evan. Once Evan is in the jeep Brian tells me, Guthrie and Daniel to get in the truck. Everyone else gets in the jeep while Brian starts the truck and drives slowly back home with the jeep following behind us.

* * *

When we get home Daniel and Evan start going at each other again.

"Knock it off!" Adam yells. "Let's get the tree inside and you guys can fight about this later."

"Heidi, Guthrie, go get your wet clothes off and put dry ones on," Hannah says.

"I need help," I tell her. She comes inside with me and we go up to my room so I can get dressed while my brothers try to bring the tree in. I say try because it sounds like it won't fit through the doorway. Once we're in my room Hannah helps me get undressed.

"You did a lot of rough playing today," she says to me.

"What do you mean? I always play like that," I tell her. "My brothers say I'm tough."

"You could've gotten hurt on those ice slides."

"I didn't."

"You were lucky the water you fell in wasn't deep," she says.

"I'm a good swimmer," I tell her.

"It's a lot different to swim in the summertime with a bathing suit on than it is to swim in freezing cold water with snow clothes on."

"If the water was freezing cold, wouldn't it just be a big block of ice?" I ask.

I think she's ignoring me because she doesn't answer me. Instead she says, "you're lucky your brothers found you quickly."

"They always find us. They're good at that."

By the way she's looking at me I can't tell if she's mad at me or not, but I'm dressed now so we can go downstairs.

When I come out of my room Guthrie is waiting at the top of the stairs. Hannah and I walk over to him and watch.

The tree is blocking the door and the stairs. It's huge! "How are we gonna get downstairs?" Guthrie asks laughing.

"We'll have to stay up here forever!" I laugh.

We sit on the stairs and watch them push the tree in. It takes them a long time and when they finally get it set up in the living room we run downstairs.

"Wow!" I say.

"It's huge!" Guthrie says. "How are we gonna decorate it!"

Adam comes up behind Hannah and puts his arms around her. "I think it's the perfect tree," he tells her. Then he kisses her.

"When can we decorate!" I yell.

"Later," Brian says. "Let's eat something first."

"I'll make something and you guys can bring the decorations in," Hannah says.

"Let's go get those boxes," Crane says.

I don't know how to help so I sit on the couch and stare at the tree. We don't have that many decorations to put on it. We don't have that many lights either. After a while I lay down and close my eyes. It's been a long day and it's not over yet.

* * *

"Heidi, come eat," Crane says.

I open my eyes. I'm still on the couch and I sit up and look around.

"It's time to eat," Crane says again.

I feel tired but I get up and slowly walk into the kitchen and sit at the table. Everyone helps bring things to the table and soon we're all sitting down except for Evan.

"I'm not sitting next to you," Evan says to Daniel. "Brian, trade seats with me."

"Come on Evan," Brian says.

"I'm not kidding!" Evan yells, so Brian trades places with him.

"Why do you want to go out with a girl that likes both of you?" Guthrie asks.

"I like her!" Evan says. "And she likes me!" He yells.

"Then why'd she ask me out?" Daniel says.

"Yeah, why'd she do that?" I ask.

"Sh," Hannah says to me.

"Take it from me," Brian says, "no girl is worth fighting over when it comes to your brother."

"Well I'm not canceling my date with her!" Evan yells.

"I'm not either, _little_ brother," Daniel says.

"It's just a stupid girl!" Guthrie yells.

"Hey! Girls aren't stupid!" I yell at him.

"Will all of you knock it off!" Adam yells. "Look," he says calmly, "if you want to go out with her Evan, then go out with her. Daniel, if you want to go out with her, go out with her. But if I were you, I think I'd be asking her why she wants to go out with both of you. Is she really worth fighting over?"

"Adam, I really like her a lot," Evan says.

"Even now, when you just found out she asked Daniel out?" Adam asks. "Aren't you curious why she would do that?"

"Maybe a little," Evan says.

"Yeah, I'm kind of curious," Daniel says.

"I still like her," Evan says. "I'm not going to cancel my date."

"Me neither," Daniel says.

"If that's what you guys are going to do, I don't want to hear anymore fighting about this girl. You got that?" Adam asks. "It sounds like you're going to let her decide who she likes and I want you both to know I think that's a bad idea."

"Me too," Crane says.

"I agree," Brian says.

"I mean it, I don't want to hear any fighting with you two. You still have to share a room with each other and a house with the rest of us," Adam says.

Everybody's quiet for a little bit and then they all start talking about other stuff except for Evan and Daniel. They're glaring at each other. I can't wait for dinner to be over so we can start decorating the tree.

* * *

We have three big boxes of Christmas decorations. One has the lights for the tree and the outside of the house in it. The other two boxes have ornaments in them. Most of the ornaments are ones my mom bought or made. The other ornaments are ones we've all made at school.

Hannah and Daniel have the lights out and they're putting them around the tree. The rest of us are getting ornaments out and putting them on the tree. It seems like each ornament has a story that goes with it. Some of the stories I remember and some I don't. My favorite ornament is the one my mom made for me.

Every year when one of us was born, my mom would make an ornament for our first Christmas. All of us have one. My mom made a little baby rag doll for my ornament. She made a pink dress for the doll and she made a bib to go with it. On the bib in tiny sewing with pink thread it says, "Heidi Lynne McFadden." Then she sewed my birthdate underneath it. When I find my baby doll ornament I take it over to the couch where Guthrie is sitting with his.

I sit next to him and look at his. His ornament is like mine except his baby doll is wearing blue clothes. His name and birthday are on his doll's bib too. It looks like Guthrie is crying a little while he looks at his ornament. Lots of times my brothers get sad when they look at some of the ornaments. I put my finger on my name that's sewed on the bib, and rub it gently across the thread.

"Guthrie, our mom held this pink thread in her hands." I touch the baby and say, "she made the baby doll too. She touched it."

"I know," he says quietly.

"Does it feel like you're touching her when you touch your ornament?" I ask him.

"I guess so."

"That's what it feels like to me." I'm quiet for a minute. "Do you remember her?" I ask him.

He sighs. "Heidi, you know the answer already. You know I don't."

We look at each other and Guthrie's eyes are watering. It makes mine water too. "Are you sad?" I ask.

He nods his head.

"Why?"

"I don't know why," he says. "I just feel that way."

Hannah comes and kneels in front of us on the floor. "What do you guys have?" She asks.

"Ornaments our mom made for us," I tell her. I let her hold mine.

Guthrie starts to cry out loud now. Hannah hugs him. "What's wrong?" She asks, but Guthrie doesn't answer.

"He's sad," I say.

"Why?" She asks.

"He doesn't know why." I look around the room and everyone looks at Hannah hugging Guthrie. He's crying loud now and my brothers look sad.

I take my ornament from Hannah and look at it. I feel bad for Guthrie. Maybe he's crying because he can't remember our parents and he thinks he should.

I look at my brothers again. None of them are looking at each other. Their heads are all kind of down and it looks like they're thinking about something. I wonder if they're thinking about our mom and dad. I bet they're thinking about happy times with them. That must make them feel sad. I feel bad for them. I look at my ornament and rub my finger over my name again. I wish my parents were alive so my brothers could see them again. Then they'd be happy. I wish I could make them feel better, but I don't know how to do that.

I walk over to where Adam is sitting on the floor and give him a hug. "Are you sad?" I ask.

"A little," he says.

I stop hugging him and sit on his lap looking at my ornament.

"I remember mom making that for you," he says.

I look up at him. "You do?"

"Yes. She would work on it after dinner, sitting right over there on that couch." He says pointing to the couch Guthrie's sitting on. "She said she was so happy she finally got to make a baby girl doll ornament, instead of another boy one." He's quiet for a minute and then he says, "she loved you a lot, Heidi. I wish you got to know her. I wish she got to see you grow up, she would have loved you a lot."

"I bet she loved you a lot too," I tell him. "I bet she loved all of you a lot."

"She did."

Crane holds up a paper snowflake ornament with lots of glitter on it. He laughs. "Remember when Daniel gave mom this ornament he made at school. I think he was in kindergarten. He wrapped it up and when mom opened it and held it up all the glitter fell off and Daniel cried. He was so sad and she told him it would be ok. She bought some glitter at the store and let him glue it back on. He was so happy and that made her smile real big."

My brothers laugh a tiny bit. They still seem sad though, but then they start taking more ornaments out and telling stories about them, and pretty soon they're happy again. I look up at Adam and watch him laugh at a story Brian is telling. He has a happy laugh. He looks down at me and I look away.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing."

"Do you want to put your ornament on the tree?"

"Ok." I get up and find a good place for it and hang it on. Then Guthrie comes over and hangs his right next to mine. I look at him and he looks at me. He looks happier now. I hug him and he hugs me back. Then everyone starts putting ornaments on the tree again and soon there's a happy feeling in the room.

* * *

When all the ornaments are on the tree I go sit on the couch next to Hannah.

"I got the material for your dress so I can start making it," she says. "I was thinking we should go shopping for your dress shoes soon."

I sigh. "Do I have to get dress shoes? They're probably really expensive. You shouldn't spend money on them."

"I want to," she says. "You'll love them."

Hmm. Does she know who she's talking to? I'll _love_ them? "Hannah, I really don't want to wear them."

Either she didn't hear me or she's ignoring me because the next thing she says is, "the rehearsals start soon for the Christmas pageant."

I'm starting to feel mad. "Hannah I really don't want to be in the pageant. That's just for little kids."

"It'll be so much fun! You'll see."

"I don't want to do it! Why are you making me?"

"I loved being in the Christmas pageant when I was a little girl," she says.

"Yeah, and I had fun being a sheep in it when I was _little_!" I tell her. "Why do I have to be in it?"

She doesn't answer me so I'm pretty sure she's ignoring me. She's making me so mad so I get up and go sit on the other couch next to Guthrie. If I could fold both my arms across my chest really tight right now I'd do it. But since one arm's in a sling I just sit and glare at her. She's talking to Crane now so she doesn't see me glaring at her.

"Guthrie," I whisper, "I think I'm gonna lose the dress shoes Hannah buys me."

"I don't think that's a good idea," he says.

"That's because you don't have to wear them!" I think for a minute. "Hey, maybe she should buy you some dress shoes too. I'll go tell her that." I start to get off the couch, but he pulls me back.

"No don't! I already have to wear a tie and a sweater vest, I don't want to wear dress shoes too!"

"Guthrie, can you help me think of a plan to get out of the Christmas pageant? She's not listening to me when I tell her I don't want to be in it."

"Ok."

"Ooh, I just thought of the perfect plan to get rid of the dress shoes!" I say.

"What?" He asks.

"I'll give them to _you_ to hide. That way when she asks me where they are I can really say I don't know, and that'll be the truth!"

"Ok. But just make sure you don't tell her I hid them," he says.

"I won't. Now we just have to think of a plan for the pageant."

We get interrupted when Crane yells, "it's time to draw names!" He has strips of paper in his hand. Each strip has one of our names on it. "Give me your hat, Guthrie."

Guthrie gives Crane his hat and he puts the strips of paper in it. I love picking names. Guthrie and I always want Brian's name. He's fun to buy for.

"Tell me how this works again," Hannah says.

"You draw a name," Guthrie says, "and then you have to buy that person a present. Youngest always picks first. Remember, it's a secret! You can't tell anyone who's name you picked."

"Except for you and Heidi," Ford says. And everybody laughs. We always tell each other who we pick, even if it's one of us.

"And no re-picking, Heidi!" Evan says and everyone laughs at that too. Sometimes I like to re-pick to see if I can get Brian's name.

"Alright, here we go," Crane says walking over to me. He holds the hat up high and I reach up and pick a name out of the hat. Then he moves on to Guthrie. I open my paper. Hannah! I want to re-pick! I look at Guthrie and ask him if he'll trade with me. He shows me his paper and it says Brian. Darn! I know he won't trade with me.

"I wanna re-pick!" I yell.

"No!" Everyone yells.

Crane is at Evan now and then he moves on to Daniel. "I want to re-pick!" I yell again. "I got my own name!"

I hear lots of groans because when someone picks their own name we all have to re-pick, but Evan says, "you don't have your own name!"

"Yes I do! How do you know I don't have my own name? You can't read my paper!" I yell.

Evan smiles and says, "let's just say I know."

Everyone laughs at that and I don't understand why. Guthrie leans over and whispers, "that means he has your name."

Oh.

When everyone's picked a name Hannah goes into the kitchen and brings out hot chocolate and cookies. Then she comes and sits in between me and Guthrie on the couch.

"What do you want for Christmas Heidi?" She asks.

"A puppy," I tell her.

"She always says a puppy," Guthrie tells Hannah. "She's not going to get one though, because Adam won't let her."

"What do you want Guthrie?" Hannah asks him.

"A dirt bike," I tell her. "He always wants a dirt bike. He's not gonna get one."

"Why? Does Adam not want him to have one?" She asks.

"No, it's too expensive," Guthrie says sadly.

"Hey, I know!" I say. "Hannah, you should take the money you're going to spend on my dress shoes and save it for a dirt bike for Guthrie!"

"I don't think so," she says, smiling at me.

"What do you want for Christmas Hannah?" I ask her.

She smiles at me and Guthrie and says, "I already have everything I want for Christmas."

I look at Guthrie and he shrugs his shoulders. I shrug mine too because I have no clue what she's talking about, and right now I don't want to ask. Instead I ask a different question.

"Hannah, do I have to go to school tomorrow?"

"Yes, I think you should."

That's not the answer I was expecting. "I thought you wanted me to rest my arm?"

"It seems like you did fine all day today playing in the snow. If you can play in the snow with your cast on, you'll do fine at school," she says.

I was sure she would let me stay home! I think I'll go ask Adam if I have to go to school. I don't see him in the living room anymore so I go look in the kitchen. He's in there getting coffee.

"Adam, do I have to go to school tomorrow?" He looks down at me and I say, "I should probably stay home and rest like Hannah wants me to."

"That might be a good idea. You can stay home, but that means you have to rest. No playing, ok?"

"Ok!" I say smiling up at him.

Daniel and Crane have their guitars out now and I can hear them playing Christmas music. We go into the living room and sing along. I go sit next to Guthrie.

"Guess what Guthrie," I whisper. "I don't have to go to school tomorrow!" I smile at him.

"Hannah said you had to go," he says.

"I know, but Adam said I could stay home!"

"That's not going to work," he says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Because they talk to each other. She's gonna tell him she told you to go to school."

I sigh. I didn't think about that. I'm not so happy anymore. I listen to everyone else singing until Adam tells me and Guthrie it's time for bed.


	9. Chapter 9

When I go upstairs to get ready for bed the phone rings.

"I got it!" I yell, running to the phone in the hallway.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hi, is Ford there?" A girl asks. It doesn't sound like Cleo.

"Yes, he's here." All of my brothers are looking upstairs at me and listening. "Who's this?" I ask.

"Becky."

"Why do you want to talk to _him_?"

Now everyone wants to know who I'm talking to.

"Can I talk to him or not?" Becky asks.

"No you can't talk to him!" I yell.

"It's Becky, isn't it!" Evan yells. Then him and Daniel start racing upstairs.

"Is Daniel or Evan home?" She asks.

"All my brothers are home!" I say quickly because Evan and Daniel are almost here. "And you can't talk to any of them! Bye!" I yell and I hang up the phone really fast just as Evan reaches for it.

"Why'd you do that!" Evan yells.

"She didn't call to talk to you," I tell him.

"Then why didn't you give the phone to me?" Daniel asks.

"She didn't call to talk to you either," I say.

"Then who'd she want to talk to?" They ask.

"Ford."

"Oh my god," Crane says from downstairs. "This girl is bad news."

"I agree," Brian says.

"Are you guys sure you still want to go out with her?" Adam asks.

"We don't know why she wanted to talk to Ford," Evan says. "Maybe she wanted to ask him about a homework assignment."

"I don't have any classes with her," Ford says.

"We still don't know why she wanted to talk to him," Evan says glaring at me. "Heidi wouldn't let us talk to her!"

"Yeah, speaking of that," Adam says, "Heidi, don't answer the phone again."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because you don't get to decide who we talk to or don't talk to."

"Do you mean I can't answer the phone tonight or forever?" I ask.

"Go get ready for bed!" Adam says.

Evan and Daniel go downstairs while I go into my bedroom. I can't really get ready for bed by myself, so I decide to wait for someone to come help. When Guthrie walks by my room I call out to him.

"Hey Guthrie," I whisper.

"What," he says, stopping in my doorway. "How can I get out of the Christmas pageant?"

"I don't know yet. We'll have to think about it tomorrow."

"Why not now?" I ask.

"Because Adam's coming upstairs," he says and leaves.

When Adam comes to my room he looks mad. "Why aren't you ready for bed yet?" He asks.

I look up at him and say quietly, "because I need help." I wonder why he's mad.

"Did you ask Hannah if you could stay home from school tomorrow?" He asks.

So that's why he's mad. I stare at him and don't answer.

"I hate it when you don't answer me! Did you ask her?"

"Did she say I asked her?"

He glares at me and yells, "yes she told me you asked her that!"

"If you already know the answer, why are you asking me?"

"You're making me really mad right now!" He yells.

I look down at the floor. For some reason I don't feel like yelling back anymore and I don't know why. I don't want him to be mad at me. I feel bad. I wish I hadn't asked him if I could stay home. I start to cry but not so he can hear me and I'm still looking down at the floor so he can't see me crying either.

"Why aren't you answering me?" I hear him yell.

I look up at him. "What?" I ask quietly.

He looks frustrated. "I really hate it when you don't listen to me!" He yells. That makes me cry harder. He looks at me kind of funny and says "why are you crying?"

I shrug my shoulders because I don't know why. Normally I would yell right back at him.

He stops yelling and says in his serious voice, "this is important Heidi, I want you to listen to me."

I wipe my eyes but that doesn't help because I keep crying. "Ok."

"It seems like lately you've been asking everyone if you can do something, and when you don't like their answer you go ask someone else. I don't want you to do that anymore."

"Ok."

"From now on if you need to ask if you can do something, come ask me."

"Ok."

"You're going to school tomorrow. I think Hannah's right. You played a lot today and your wrist didn't seem to bother you at all."

"Ok."

"Why are you crying so hard?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders and keep looking at him. He comes in and sits on the bed next to me.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I feel bad." I look up at him. "I don't want you to be mad at me. Please don't be mad at me."

He hugs me and I keep crying. I don't know why I can't stop crying.

"I'm not mad at you anymore," he says. "Stop crying."

"I'm sorry," I say.

"What's wrong Heidi? I feel like there's something wrong that you're not telling me about."

I shake my head. I don't know if I should tell him I know he's my dad. What if he doesn't think he is. That makes me feel bad. What if I'm wrong. What if I tell him I know he's my dad and he laughs at me. The doctor at the hospital said he was my dad and Brian said he was. But what if Brian was just tired and didn't know what he was saying.

"Heidi, I feel like you're a million miles away," Adam says. I'm in his lap now and he's rocking me while I cry.

I look up at him and wipe my eyes. "I'm right here," I say.

He smiles. "I know. What are you thinking about?"

I stare at him. Should I say what I'm really thinking about? No. "I guess I'm just tired," I finally tell him.

"Then let me help you get ready for bed."

"In a little bit. Right now I just want you to hold me."

"I can do that," he says, and then he kisses my forehead.

Yeah, he's my dad. I hug him really tight.

* * *

When I'm all ready for bed Adam asks, "do want me to read a story to you?"

"Ok."

He gets a book and reads it to me, but I don't listen. I look at his face while he reads. He reads in different voices for each character and his face looks happy while he reads. Then I see his eyes look at me and he closes the book.

I look at the book. That was quick. "The story's over?" I ask.

"No," he smiles at me. "I don't think you were listening. Why do you keep staring at me?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

"Is there something you need to tell me?" He asks.

"No, there's nothing I need to tell you."

"Ok," he says, "then goodnight." He kisses my forehead.

"Wait!" I say.

"What?" He asks.

"Please don't go yet."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just want you to stay with me until I fall asleep."

He sighs. "I wish you would tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. I promise."

He smiles at me and puts his hand on my forehead and slides it down to my cheek. "I wish I knew what was going on in that pretty little head of yours."

I yawn and turn onto my side. "Did anyone ever tuck you in at night?" I ask him.

"Yes," he says quietly. He rubs my back and I feel really tired. It's been a long day.

"Goodnight Heidi," he whispers.

"Goodnight Da...Adam," I whisper back and close my eyes.

* * *

When I get to school and walk over to the playground, everyone comes running over and wants to know why I have a cast on. I tell them about sledding while I let everyone sign my cast with the pen I brought from home. When the bell rings we all walk to class.

My teacher, Mrs. Wilson, wants to know what happened too. I ask her to sign my cast and she does. Then school starts. She says this morning we're not going to do reading or writing. We're going to make cards for our moms and dads and after that we're going to the cafeteria to practice our Christmas show.

Mrs. Wilson puts red and green construction paper out on the back table. I love making Christmas cards for my family. Last year I got to make one for each person in my family. I ask Mrs. Wilson if I can do that this year but she says no, we can only make two. I go to the back table and get a red paper and a green one.

When I'm at my desk I try to fold the red piece of paper in half, but I can't with just one hand. I ask Denise to fold it and she does. I take my crayons out of my desk and try to draw a Christmas tree on the front of my card but it's hard. I do the best I can and when I'm finished drawing it, it looks like a little kid drew it. My tree is green and I decorated it with lots of ornaments and a big yellow star on top. Then I draw two presents underneath it.

I open my card and write, "dear," it's hard to write so I put my pencil down to think. If I write everyone's name on the card it's going to take a long time. So after the word dear I write, "family." Then I hand my card to Denise and ask her to write "Merry Christmas." She does and then I write, "love Heidi." I look at my card and I like it. I ask Denise if she'll put it in an envelope and she goes to the back table to get one.

I ask the boy next to me, Jeremy, to fold my green piece of paper in half and he does. I look at the paper and think about what I want to draw. I decide to draw a snowman because that would be the easiest. When I'm finished I open it up and think about what to write. It's hard to think of something besides Merry Christmas, so I think for a while and then I know exactly what I want to write and I'm gonna do it all by myself!

I pick up my pencil and very carefully write, "to the best big," and then my teacher says it's time to go out to recess and put everything away.

"Can I stay in?" I ask her. "I need to finish my card."

"I'd like you to go outside," she says.

"Then can I finish it after recess?"

"No, that's all the time we have to work on cards today. I'm sorry," Mrs. Wilson says.

I start to cry. "Please. I have to finish this card. It's really important."

She looks at me and smiles. "Ok, you can stay in, but you have to finish it by the time recess is over."

I smile at her. "I will. Thank you."

I pick up my pencil and after the words "to the best big," I carefully write, "brother in the whole wide world! And the best Dad in the world!" Then I get a red crayon and draw a heart as best as I can and then I sign my name. I look at it and smile. I hope he likes it. Then I turn the card over and draw a picture of Adam and a picture of me and we're holding hands.

I get up and take my card to my teacher and ask her to put it in an envelope. Then I go back to my desk and pick up a blue crayon and write Adam on the front.

"Mrs. Wilson? Do we get to take our cards home today?"

"Yes."

I smile. I can't wait to give Adam his card.

* * *

After recess our teacher takes us to the cafeteria to practice for the Christmas show we do for our families. The show is in a couple of nights so today the whole school is practicing together. Each class gets to sing two songs and then at the end of the show all the classes sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas together.

I love the Christmas show because I love to sing. When we get to the cafeteria we have to sit on the floor with all the other classes. Our music teacher, Ms. Steele, is getting the kindergarten class up on the risers so they can sing their two songs. Once they're ready they start singing Jingle Bells. It's cute.

When they're done everyone claps for them and then Ms. Steele talks to them. I get bored and so do some of the other kids in my class. One of the boys near me has a piece of paper he crumples up in a ball and about four of us start throwing it around to each other. We keep it low so the teachers don't see us, but all the teachers are in the back of the cafeteria talking to each other so they're not really paying attention anyway.

The kindergartners are singing their second song and we keep throwing the paper around until everyone starts clapping. We stop playing and clap too. Then the kindergartners have to get off the risers so the first graders can go up. We start throwing the paper around again and we keep playing until it's finally our turn!

My class gets up on the risers and we sing Frosty the Snowman. I look around and see Guthrie sitting with his class, so I smile and wave to him and he smiles and waves back. We sing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer next. When we're done we get off the risers and sit back down on the floor. Now we just have to wait for the rest of the classes to sing.

I look at the clock. 11:00. This is taking forever! I'm tired of throwing the paper around so I let Denise braid my hair. Finally the eighth graders are done singing so Ms. Steele starts having each class come back up on the risers so we can sing the last song together. The risers are three steps high and my class gets to be on the second one. Denise is next to me and we talk to each other while we're waiting for Ms. Steele to get the little kids on the risers. All of a sudden I feel someone pull my hair really hard!

"Ow!" I yell. I turn around and see that mean bully Gary standing behind me smiling.

"It wasn't me," he says while laughing. "Besides, what are you gonna do about it if I did pull your hair? It's not like you can't beat me up with a cast on."

"Leave me alone!" I yell. He's right, I can't beat him up with a cast on.

I move over to the other side of Denise, but he moves over too. I keep moving and he yanks on my hair again.

"Stop!" I yell. "Ms. Steele!" I look for her but she's not watching. She's helping the little kids still. She doesn't hear me either.

I keep moving across the riser and he keeps following me. I look for my teacher but she's still talking to the other teachers in the back of the room.

"Leave her alone!" I turn around and see Guthrie near Gary and I watch Guthrie punch Gary in the face and Gary falls off the riser. Guthrie jumps down after him and when Gary gets up they both start punching each other.

"Leave Guthrie alone!" I yell.

I jump down onto Gary's back and try to pull him off Guthrie. Then I punch him in the side. And then the teachers are breaking us up.

* * *

The three of us are sitting on the bench in the office. Mr. Brick calls Gary into his office.

"I hope I don't get suspended," Guthrie says.

"Me either. Thanks for helping me," I tell him. "Why do you think Gary won't leave me along?"

"I don't know. I guess he's just a really mean kid. I think his whole family is."

We sit quietly and wait for our turn to talk to the principal, but then Guthrie says, "Heidi, when you go in there don't say anything except yes or no, ok?"

"What if he says something that makes me mad?"

"Just ignore him."

"But I'm gonna have to talk to tell him what happened."

"I know, just don't say anything that's gonna make him mad."

The door opens and Gary walks out of the office and then leaves to go back to class. Guthrie goes in while I wait quietly to go in.

When Guthrie comes out and passes by me he whispers, "remember, don't say anything."

I nod on my way into Mr. Brick's office and then I sit in the familiar chair across from his desk.

He asks me to tell him what happened so I do. Then he tells me he's disappointed that I punched Gary. That makes me mad because I only punched him to help Guthrie. I want to yell at him but I don't. Then he says he's going to send me home to think about what I did. I want to tell him I don't need to go home to think, because I can think here. But I don't say that either.

"I don't think sending you home is working that well with you so I'm going to add having you stay in at lunch recess for the rest of the week."

I can't take it anymore! "What!" I yell, jumping up from my chair. "That's not fair! HE KEEPS BUGGING ME! Why don't you do something about that!"

"Sit down!" He yells.

I sit down and glare at him.

"I'm going to add another week to your lunch detention for that outburst," he says calmly.

I keep glaring at him. "You can't do that!"

"Yes I can, and I will," he says in his serious principal voice.

That makes me mad. "Oh yeah? Well guess what! You can add a hundred, thousand weeks of lunch detention and I won't care! You wanna know why? Because I'm not going to go!"

He glares at me now and says, "go back to class and get your stuff. Then come back and wait on the bench."

I leave his office and see Guthrie and Gary waiting on the bench with their stuff to go home. I glare at Gary as I walk by him and he does the same.

* * *

When I walk into my classroom everyone is doing math. I walk over to my desk and get my red homework folder. Then I see the two cards I made. I pick up the one that says Adam on the envelope and I start to cry. I sit down at my desk and Denise asks me what's wrong.

I shake my head at her. I feel so bad. Why did I have to say that to Mr. Brick? Why do I get so mad and explode all the time? Adam's going to be mad at what I said. I feel like ripping up the card I made him. I can't give it to him now. I stare at it because I don't know what to do with it. Rip it, or put it in my red folder to take home? Rip it. I start to tear it but Mrs. Wilson is at my desk asking me why I'm crying, so I put both cards in my folder.

"My arm hurts," I tell her.

"Oh. I'm sorry," she says. "Did Mr. Brick tell you to get your things and go back to the office?"

I stare at her. "No," I lie.

"Then here's the math ditto we're working on." She hands me the ditto and goes back to her desk.

Denise whispers, "does your arm really hurt, or did you get in trouble?"

"I got in trouble," I whisper back.

"Do your work quietly, girls," Mrs. Wilson says.

I sit and stare at my math paper then I look at the clock. It's almost lunchtime.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the office?" Denise whispers.

I nod my head.

"Heidi, you'll get in more trouble if you stay in here. Go back to the office," she whispers.

I shake my head no. "I can't."

"Yes you can. Do you want me to go with you?"

I look at her through my tears. She's a really nice friend. I think I do want to go back with her. I wipe my eyes and smile at her. I stand up and nod my head.

The intercom phone rings and Mrs. Wilson answers it. I sit back down and shake my head at Denise.

"Heidi," Mrs. Wilson says, "they need you in the office."

I don't look at her. Instead I look down at my math paper.

"Heidi," she says louder, "you need to go to the office now."

I don't get up and I don't look at her. She says something into the phone and then hangs up. I start to cry again. Pretty soon our classroom door opens. I don't look up from my paper.

"Heidi," Denise whispers, "it's Mr. Brick and Adam and Guthrie."

"Heidi," Mr. Brick says loudly, "come here."

I just keep crying at my desk. I can hear someone walking towards my desk and when I see the boots I know it's Adam. He picks up my math ditto and opens up my red folder. Oh no! I hope he doesn't see the card. I look and see the other card is in front of it. He puts my math paper in it and then he takes my hand. I get up and walk with him out of the classroom and the three of us walk out to the jeep.

* * *

Guthrie sits in the back of the jeep with me. For the most part it's a quiet ride except for when Guthrie scoots close to me and whispers in my ear.

"Adam was mad at Mr. Brick. Adam wasn't yelling but he was talking real loud so I could hear him out on the bench."

"What'd he say?" I ask.

"He said, 'when are you going to stop this bully from picking on Heidi!'"

My eyes get big and I look at Guthrie. "He said that?"

"Yeah. He said, 'you guys are the adults. You should be stopping this sort of thing!' Then I couldn't hear anything else because they were just talking normally for the rest of the time."

Then we're quiet the rest of the way home.

* * *

As soon as we get home I grab my red folder from the front seat and jump out of the jeep. I run up to the house and throw the door open. I run upstairs to my room and slam my door shut. Then I open up my folder. I take the card out that has Adam's name on it and start to rip it, but I stop. Someone's coming upstairs. I open my top dresser drawer and hide the card underneath my socks. I'll have to rip it up later. There's a knock on my door.


	10. Chapter 10

"Heidi?" Adam says.

I don't answer him. I wish there was some place to hide in here, but there's not. The only place would be under my bed and that would be pretty obvious. I decide to sit on the floor in between the side of my dresser and the wall.

My door opens and Adam walks in and sits on my bed. I pull my knees up to my chin and bury my face in my hands.

"What are you doing down there?"

"Go away," I say quietly.

"I'm not going to go away so you might as well come over here and talk to me."

I start to cry quietly and I can hear him get down on the floor in front of me. "Why are you hiding?"

I can't lift my head up. I feel so bad for what I said to the principal. I shake my head.

"Would you look at me please?" He asks.

I shake my head no.

"Look at me," he says again.

"I can't."

"Why not?" He asks.

"Because I feel bad. I said something bad to the principal and I know he told you what I said. I don't want you to be mad at me. I'm sorry I said it and I wish I could take it back, but I can't!"

"Yes, he told me what you said, and no, you can't take it back." I feel him try to put his hand underneath my chin and try to pull my head up but I move my head away. "Would you look at me?" He asks.

"I can't. I did something wrong and I can't look at you."

"I don't understand why you can't look at me. You've done lots of stuff wrong before and you've never had a problem looking at me before. What's so different about this time."

"It's just different now," I say quietly.

"What do you mean? What's different?"

"Everything's different."

"Come out of there," he says while pulling me out and standing me up in front of where he's sitting on the floor.

I still keep my face covered with my hands and he hugs me and I cry. I hug him back and say, "I'm sorry Adam."

"I wish you would tell me what's going on with you," he says.

"I can't," I say. "I don't know how to."

"What does that mean? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I can't tell you this," I cry. "Adam, why does Gary keep bothering me?"

"Is that what's bothering you?" He asks.

"Ok," I say.

"What do you mean ok? Is that what's really bothering you?"

I nod my head.

"The principal said he would take care of it," Adam says.

"What does that mean?" I ask. "Is he going to make him go to a new school?"

"No, I don't think so. He didn't tell me what he was going to do."

"Then how do you know he's going to take care of it?" I ask.

"We'll just have to wait and see what he does."

"Adam, are you mad at me?"

"For what?"

"For getting sent home and for what I said to the principal?" I ask.

"Will you look at me now?" He asks.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Look at me," he says again.

I stop hugging him and look at him. "Are you mad at me?"

He puts his hands on the sides of my face and he looks at me with his serious look. "I wish this boy would stop bugging you," he says. "I don't think you'd be getting in trouble as much if he left you alone. I don't like what you said to Mr. Brick at all, and I wish you hadn't said it."

"I'm sorry. I wish I didn't say it either. Did he give me a lot of lunch detentions?" I ask.

Adam smiles at me. "You mean like a hundred thousand lunch detentions?"

I smile back and nod my head.

"No. We came to an understanding that you would go home today, and there would be no lunch detentions."

That makes me smile bigger.

"I like it when you smile," he says. "You have such a pretty smile."

I hug him. "Adam, are me and Guthrie in trouble for fighting with Gary?"

"That's why you got sent home," he says.

"No, I mean are we in trouble with you?"

"No. I heard that you tried to get away from Gary and you tried to tell the teacher, and I'm glad you did that. It sounds like the only way to make that kid stop today was to beat him up." Then he says, "look at me." So I stop hugging him and I look at him. "That doesn't mean I want you to go around beating people up, ok?"

"Ok," I say.

"Good. Now get that work folder of yours and go down to the kitchen and get to work. Did you make Christmas cards today? I thought I saw some in your folder."

I stare at him.

"What?" He asks. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Um, yes we made cards today. But I only had time to make one. It's hard to make cards with my left hand."

"I thought I saw two envelopes in your folder."

I shake my head no.

"No?" He asks.

"No. I'll show you." I get my red folder and open it up for him. "See. It's just this one," I say taking it out for him. "You can open it if you want."

He takes the card out and opens the envelope. He looks at the picture on the front and says, "that's a nice Christmas tree you drew with your left hand." He opens the card up and reads it out loud.

"I had Denise write the Merry Christmas part because it's hard to write with my left hand too."

"It's very nice. Everyone's going to love it," he says getting up.

I look at my dresser and think about the card inside. I'm glad I didn't rip it up now. Should I give it to him now? No, I'll give it to him later.

"Will you help me with my work?" I ask.

"Only if you really need help. I'm not going to do it for you," he says as we walk out of my room and go downstairs.

* * *

When we walk into the kitchen Guthrie is already sitting at the table doing his work. I sit next to him and open up my folder and take my math ditto out. Adam sits across the table from us.

I look at the math and it's multiplying! I hate multiplying. And it's the hard ones too! The seven, eights, and nines! "I need help," I say.

"You haven't even looked at the paper yet," Adam says.

"Yes I did. It's too hard."

"Try to do the first few problems," he says.

Guthrie looks at my paper. "You're supposed to have those memorized," he says.

I glare at him. "I did. I just don't remember them anymore."

I stand up.

"Where are you going?" Adam asks.

"I need a pencil," I tell him, as I leave the kitchen and walk over to the desk in the living room.

I get a pencil and then I see Crane's calculator on the desk, so I bring that back into the kitchen too. When I sit down I turn the calculator on.

"You can't use that," Guthrie says.

"Why not?" I ask. "Crane uses it all the time when he does 'the books'."

Guthrie laughs. "Do you even know 'how' to use it?"

"No. Do you?" I ask. Guthrie shakes his head no.

"Heidi, you can't use that," Adam says.

"Please?"

"No. Give it to me," he says.

I push it so it slides across the table to him. Adam gets up to go put it back.

"Guthrie, what's six times seven," I whisper.

"Forty-two," he whispers.

"Hey, don't help her," Adam says when he sits back down at the table.

"What's seven times six?" I say out loud to anyone who will answer.

Adam starts to glare at me, but Guthrie says, "I just told you the answer to that."

"No you didn't. You told me what six times seven is, not seven times six."

Guthrie groans. "Oh my god Heidi! It's the same answer!"

"Hey, stop helping her," Adam says.

"How can it be the same answer when it's a different problem."

"Because they're the same numbers!" Guthrie yells.

"I don't get it," I say.

Adam sighs. "Just do the ones you know first. Then go back to the hard ones."

I look at him. "They're all hard," I tell him.

"You didn't even look at your paper. Look at it and do the ones you know first," he says that in his serious voice so I look at my paper. Some of them I know so I write the answers down.

"Done," I say. "Now will you help me?" I ask. He comes over and helps me with the rest.

"What else do you have in your folder?" He asks when I'm done with the math ditto.

"There's only one more paper," I say opening up the folder. "No!" I yell and put my head down on the table.

"What?" Adam asks. "What is it?"

"It's cursive!" I start to cry a little bit. "I can't even do that with my right hand, how am I supposed to do it with my left hand?"

"Just try your best," Adam says. He gets up and says, "I'm going to call Marie's and see what time Hannah is coming home." He gets up and goes into the living room.

I look at my paper and it has four sentences I'm supposed to copy. I pick up my pencil and start to write. It's too hard. I put my head down on the table and then I get an idea. Maybe if I just make squiggly lines it'll look like I did it. I start making lots of cursive letter L's all in a row. Then I do that for the rest of the sentences. Guthrie looks over at my paper.

"That's not right," he says.

"That's the best I can do," I tell him while smiling at him.

"Adam's gonna make you do it over," he says.

"Do what over?" Adam asks when he sits back down at the table.

"I'm done," I say holding up my paper to show him.

"Let me see it," he says holding out his hand.

"Why do I have to show you? Can't I just put it in my folder and show it to my teacher tomorrow?" I ask.

"Give it to me," Adam says.

I pass the paper over to him and he looks at it.

"What do you call this?" He asks. "It just looks like a bunch of scribbles."

"That's my best cursive," I tell him.

"No it's not. Erase it and start over" he says.

I glare at him. "The whole thing?" I ask.

"Yes."

I groan. "This is to hard! You erase it."

"No, you're going to erase it."

"I only have one hand. How am I supposed to erase all that?" I ask.

"You'll figure it out," he says.

I start to erase, but it's hard. I end up ripping the paper. "Now look what happened!" I yell. "It's ruined!" I erase more and I erase harder so the paper has lots of holes in it. "There, are you happy! Now I can't do any of it because the paper's ruined!"

"Don't yell at me like that!" He yells. He takes my paper away and writes something on it. Then he gives it back to me. "Here put this in your folder."

I read what he wrote out loud, "dear Mrs. Wilson, please give Heidi a new cursive ditto to practice at home." I glare at him and think about crumpling the paper up and throwing it away.

"Don't you dare crumple that up!" He yells. How does he always know what I'm thinking?

"Fine!" I put it in my folder. I'll just throw it away later.

"And don't even think about throwing it away," he says glaring at me.

"Where's Brian?" I ask. "Or Crane?"

"Working on the fence."

"You should go help them," I say.

Guthrie kicks me under the table.

"Ow!" I yell. I glare at him.

"Go to your room," Adam says. "You can wait in there for Hannah to come home."

"Why am I waiting for Hannah to come home?" I ask. That doesn't make any sense to me.

"She's going to take you into town to buy some shoes for you, and then she's going to take you to the church to practice the Christmas play."

"No! I don't want to go! I don't want dress shoes and I don't want to be in the stupid play!"

"Tough luck! You're going!" Adam yells.

I start to cry. "Why are _you_ making me do this? You know I don't like to dress up, and I haven't been in the Christmas play since I was little! I'm too big to be in it! Why are you letting Hannah tell you what to do?"

"I'm not letting her tell me what to do!"

"Yes you are!" I glare at him and then I get an idea. "I can't go if she can't find me!" I yell and I get up fast and run out the back door.

* * *

"Get back here!" I hear Adam yell.

I look back and see him walking fast behind me. Darn! That means he'll see where I'm going to go. I run to the barn and see Brian getting off his horse and walking into the barn. I run up to his horse and grab it's rope, and I lead him over to some bales of hay that are stacked up. I climb up them and get on Brian's horse.

"Get off that horse, now!" I hear Adam yell.

I look over and see him running now. I dig my heals into the horse and he takes off running. I try to slow him down a little by pulling on the reigns but I can't hold onto them with my right hand so I can't get him to slow down. Brian's horse is a lot bigger than Lucy, and even though I've ridden this horse before and I'm not scared of him, I'm scared now because I can't make him slow down.

I look back at the barn and see Brian helping Adam put a saddle on Adam's horse. I look ahead of me again and start yelling at Brian's horse to stop, but that obviously doesn't work. I can hear a horse coming up fast behind me.

"Stop!" Adam yells.

"I can't! I can't pull on the reins right with just one hand!" I yell.

Adam brings his horse up to mine so we're riding side by side. The horses don't like that, probably because we're so close to each other. Adam pulls ahead a little bit and leans over to grab my reins, then he slowly stops both horses.

"Don't you EVER run away from me like that again!" He yells. I start crying. "What the heck do you think you're doing riding a horse! You've got a cast on!"

"I'm sorry," I cry.

"You're gonna be sorry!" He yells.

I don't like the sound of that. When we get to the barn Brian comes over to get me off his horse.

"Why'd you do that?" He asks while he sets me on the ground.

"Because she knows I'm mad at her!" Adam yells walking towards me.

I hide behind Brian. "Help me Brian! He's really mad!" I yell.

Adam keeps walking towards me but Brian gets in his way. "Calm down Adam." Brian puts his hands on Adam's shoulders to stop him. "Why don't you let me talk to her," he says. "You do look really mad."

"I am mad!" He yells.

"Go to the house and calm down," Brian says. "I'll bring her inside in a little while." He gives Adam a push toward the house and Adam starts walking towards it.

Adam turns around and yells to me, "you're lucky Brian was here!"

Brian walks over to me and says, "what happened?"

"Brian, Adam's making me do something with Hannah and I don't want to do it!"

Brian picks me up and sits me on top of a high stack of hay bales so we can see eye to eye.

"What does he want you to do?" He asks.

"He wants me to go shopping with Hannah for dress shoes. Then he wants me to be in the Christmas play at church!"

"That doesn't sound like Adam. Why would he make you do that?"

"It's Hannah!" I yell. "She's making me do it and he's letting her!"

"Oh," he says.

"Brian, why do I have to get dress shoes and be in the stupid Christmas play?" I ask.

"I don't know. I'm sure Adam has a good reason."

"It's not a good reason! It's Hannah! Why does she want me to do this stuff?"

"I don't know," he says. "Have you asked her?"

I stare at him for a while. "No," I finally say.

"Maybe you should do that," Brian suggests. "Why is Adam so mad at you?"

"Because I ran away from him," I say sadly.

"Oh. That's not good," he says.

"I know," I say and I start to cry. "I wish I didn't do that."

"You have to think before you do stuff," Brian says.

"You sound like Adam," I tell him. "He always says I need to think before I do stuff."

"He's right you know, you should do a lot more thinking and a lot less exploding."

"You explode a lot," I remind him.

"Uh-uh, we're not talking about _me_ right now, we're talking about _you_. Are you ready to go to the house now?"

"No! He was really mad!" I yell.

Brian laughs a little. "Yeah, he was."

"That's not funny!" I yell.

"Sorry. Adam just needs a little time to calm down," Brian says.

"I think he needs _a lot_ of time to calm down."

Brian picks me up off the hay and says, "come on, let's go talk to him." He sets me down and he holds out his hand.

"Will you stay with me when he yells at me?" I ask.

"Sure," he says.

I take his hand and we walk back to the house together.

* * *

Hannah pulls up in the truck before we get to the house. When she gets out I run up to her.

"Come on Hannah! Let's go!" I grab her hand and pull her towards the truck.

"Woah! Hold on!" She says laughing. "I'm glad you're excited to go, but I need to go inside first."

I let go of her and walk back to Brian. "Can I wait outside for her?" I ask him.

"No, Adam is expecting you."

"What do I say to him?" I ask.

"Tell him you're sorry. That would be a good place to start," he says.

"What if he yells at me?"

"Just listen and whatever you do, don't yell back," Brian says.

"You sound like Guthrie," I tell him. "He always tells me not to talk."

"That might be a good idea right now."

We open the door and walk in. Adam and Hannah are standing by the couch and when he sees me come in I hide behind Brian.

Hannah kisses Adam and says, "we're almost ready Heidi."

"What do you mean _we_?" I ask her.

"Adam's going too," she says.

"No!' I yell. Hannah looks at me. "I mean no, Adam shouldn't go with us. It should just be us girls," I say.

Hannah smiles at me. "That's a great idea," she says going upstairs. "Just let me get my coat."

Adam glares at me and says, "after dinner you and me are going to have a long talk. And you'd better be good with Hannah today."

I keep hiding behind Brian. When Hannah comes downstairs I say, "come on Hannah let's go now!" I stare at Adam and grab her hand.

She laughs, "ok, ok. We'll be back before dinner," Hannah tells Adam, as I drag her out the door.

* * *

While we're driving to town I tell Hannah again that I don't want dress shoes.

"You'll love them," she says, "you'll see."

"No I won't! Hannah I don't like that you're making me get them!" I yell.

She doesn't say anything.

She's making me mad! "I don't want them!"

She still doesn't say anything.

"Can you hear me?" I yell. "I said, I don't want them!" She's still not saying anything! "Why aren't you talking? Are you ignoring me? Answer me!" I look over at her. "Fine! If you're not talking to me, I'm not talking to you!" We'll see who talks first!

The rest of the ride is quiet. When we pull up to the shoe store Hannah gets out, but I don't. "You need to get out now," she says.

"Ha!" I yell. "I win."

She looks at me. "You win what?" She asks.

"You talked first!" I tell her while smiling.

"Ok, you need to get out now Heidi." She says that in her serious voice, so I get out.

When we walk into the store I follow Hannah to the kids section. A man comes over and asks if he can help her.

"We need to buy some dress shoes," she says.

We follow him over to a table with dress shoes on them. "What color?" He asks.

"Black," Hannah says.

The man measures my foot and then he walks away and goes in a door.

"Where's he going?" I ask Hannah.

"He's going in the back to find your size."

"What's back there?" I ask.

"Boxes full of shoes in all the different sizes," she says.

"Can I see?" That sounds interesting to me.

"No, only the workers get to go back there."

The man comes back and he's carrying three boxes of shoes. He brings them over to us and sets them on the floor. He opens the first box and takes out a shoe and starts to put it on my foot.

I pull my foot away. "I can do it!" I tell him.

"It's ok, Heidi," Hannah says. "You can let him."

It feels weird to let someone else put a shoe on my foot, but I let him.

"How does it feel?" The man asks.

"Fine."

"Why don't you walk around in it to see if it fits," Hannah suggests.

"It feels fine," I say. "I don't need to walk around."

The man takes the shoe off and puts it away. Then he opens the second box and takes out a shoe and puts it on my foot.

"This is exactly the same as the other one!" I complain.

"This one has a silver buckle instead of a gold one," the man says.

I sigh and tell them this one feels fine too. He takes that one off and opens the third box.

"Wow!" I say. Hannah laughs a little. This shoe is so shiny! The other shoes weren't shiny at all. This one's pretty!

The man puts it on my foot and I smile. "Can I try on the other one?" He puts the other one on and I stand up. I walk over to a mirror and look. They're so shiny and pretty.

"Do you like them?" Hannah asks.

I look at her and smile. I nod my head. "Can we get this pair?" I ask.

"Yes," she says.

I take them off and the man puts them back in the box. Hannah and the man go to the cash register to pay while I put my shoes on. Then I look at the door that goes to where all the boxes of shoes are. Maybe if I stand by it I'll get to see inside if someone opens it. I look around the store. The other two workers are helping other people. I look at Hannah and she's still paying. I guess I could just open the door and peek in.

I put my hand on the doorknob and open the door. Wow! There are so many boxes! I look up. They almost reach the ceiling! I wonder what the shoes look like inside each box. I walk in and the door closes behind me. There's so many shelves full of boxes. I bet it's like a maze. I start walking further inside the room and the door opens.

"You're not supposed to be in here," a lady says. "Your mom's looking for you."

"Oh, she's not my mom. That's just Hannah."

"Well you need to come out now," she says.

I walk out and I see Hannah. When she sees me she doesn't look happy. She looks at me like she's expecting me to do something. I think for a minute and then I think I know what she wants me to do.

I look at the lady and say, "I'm sorry for going in the shoe box room." I look at Hannah and she nods her head. Then I say, "you have a lot of boxes in there! How do you know what's inside of them, and how many boxes are in there, and how do you get the ones that are way up high, and..."

Hannah is leading me to the door. "It's time to go now Heidi. Thank you," she's says to the worker as we walk out the door.

When we get into the truck Hannah looks at me and says, "Heidi you can't just do something because _you_ want to do it." She's talking in her serious voice. "You weren't supposed to go back there. I told you only workers get to go back there."

"Sorry," I say and I look at her and smile. "Thank you for buying me the shoes."

"You're welcome," she says as she starts the truck.

"Hannah, do I have to be in the Christmas pageant?"

"Yes. It'll be so much fun. Maybe you'll get to be Mary, or even better, an angel."

I laugh at that. "Me? An angel?"

"Why is that so funny?" She asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "Hannah, why don't I wear the dress shoes, and you let me skip the play. Ok?"

"No. We're here. I want you to go inside while I go to the bank. I want to get to the bank before it closes and before it gets too dark. I'll be back in about ten minutes."

I get out of the truck and walk up to the church. I really don't want to do this. When I walk inside Marie says hi to me and I look around. There's a bunch of little kids and their moms. I think I'm the oldest one here. I'm not the tallest because I'm short for my age, but there are definitely a lot of little kids here! I gotta get out of here! I try to think of a plan. I only have ten minutes until Hannah comes back, so I'd better think fast.

I got it! I walk over to Marie. She's talking to a bunch of kindergartners. "Marie?"

She looks at me. "Yes Heidi?"

"My arm is hurting really bad." I hold up my cast. "I don't think I'll be able to be in the play. It just hurts too much. I'm probably not even going to be able to come to church on Christmas Eve," I tell her.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she says. "Thank you for coming and letting me know. I hope your arm feels better."

"Thanks!" I say as I run to the door.

When I open the door to go outside I see Hannah walking up to it.

I smile really big. "Guess what Hannah! Guess what!"

"What?" She says smiling at me.

"Marie said she has enough kids to be in the play so I don't have to be in it!"

"Oh? Let me just go in and talk to her for a minute," she says.

I grab her arm and pull her away from the door and over to the truck. "She's really busy right now Hannah. There's a lot of little kids running around in there. Besides I'm so excited to show everyone my new shoes. Can we go now, please?" I smile up at her.

She smiles at me. "Wow, you really are excited about your new shoes! See, I told you you'd love them!"

We get in he truck and she drives us home.

* * *

It's dark outside when we get home. That means everyone should be inside. The house smells like Brian's chili when I open the door. I love his chili.

"We're back!" I yell. Hannah comes in behind me and shuts the door. She puts the shoe box in my hands so I can carry it upstairs.

"You're back early," Adam says.

"It turns out Marie didn't need Heidi to be in the pageant after all. Heidi said there were lots of kids there," Hannah tells him.

"Heidi told you that, or Marie?" Adam asks.

I run upstairs to my room to put my new shoes away. Guthrie's upstairs so I give him the box to open.

"They're shiny," he says. "When do you want me to hide them?"

"I don't think I want you to hide them. I think I'm going to wear them," I tell him.

"They're talking about you downstairs," Guthrie says.

"What are they saying?"

"Listen," Guthrie says.

"Was Heidi good for you?" Adam asks Hannah. "She was a monster with me right before she left."

I laugh a little and Guthrie laughs a little too, but then he stops and whispers, "Adam's really mad at you."

I shrug my shoulders and say, "sh!"

We listen again. "Come to think of it," Hannah says, "she was bratty on the way to the shoe store. She even went inside the back room where they keep all the shoes after I told her not to."

"Why is she telling on me?" I whisper to Guthrie. She's making me mad.

"If I were you, I'd check with Marie tomorrow to see if she really has enough kids," Adam says.

"No!" I slap my forehead. "Guthrie, you can hide my shoes tonight. I don't think I want to wear them anymore."

We sit and listen some more but we can't really hear anything anymore.

"Guthrie, do you ever wish you could start the day over?" I say as I bang the back of my head against my wall. "I messed up a lot today."

"Yeah, you did," Guthrie says, "and the day's not over yet."

I bang my head against the wall again. How am I gonna fix this mess?


	11. Chapter 11

At dinner I don't feel like eating. I eat a little though because it's Brian's chili, and I listen to everyone talk.

"Apparently Becky Winters is asking a lot of guys to go out with her from school," Ford says.

"And you guys still want to go out with her?" Crane asks.

"Of course!" Evan says. "Once she goes out with me, she's not going to want to go out with anyone else!" He looks at Daniel when he says that.

"She'll still want to go out with me _little_ brother," Daniel says while laughing at Evan.

"I don't think so!" Evan yells.

"Stop!" Adam yells. "I told you, you're not going to fight over this girl in this house," he says calmer. "Now let's talk about something else."

They start talking about stuff while I stare down at Adam. He told Evan and Daniel not to talk about Becky and they stopped. They did what he told them to do. Adam looks down at me and I look away. I can hear him talking again down at the other end of the table so I look at him again.

"Heidi?" Hannah says. "I'm talking to you."

I look at her. "What?"

"I asked how come you're not eating?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"What were you thinking about?"

I stare at her. "I was just listening to everyone talk. Can I be excused?"

"What about dessert?" She asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I'm just not hungry."

"Are you feeling ok?"

"I guess my wrist is hurting a little bit," I lie.

"Ok, you can be excused. Why don't you go rest on the couch and when I'm done eating I can show you your dress. I'm ready for you to try it on." She smiles at me.

I sigh and get up. I take my dishes to the sink and walk out of the kitchen. When I walk by Adam he calls me over.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"In there," I say pointing to the living room.

"Don't forget we're talking after dinner."

"I know," I say sadly.

* * *

I walk into the living room and sit on the couch. My stomach is hurting now. Not because I feel sick, or because I'm hungry, but because I feel bad for how I acted today. Hannah's going to be mad at me when she finds out I lied to her about the pageant. Maybe I should tell her tonight before she talks to Marie tomorrow.

Crane comes in and sits down next to me.

"Are you done eating?" I ask him.

"Not really," he says. "You seemed a little sad at dinner."

"My wrist is hurting," I say, holding up my cast.

"I don't think so," he says, "I know you and I don't think that's what's wrong."

I cry and he puts his arm around me and I lean against him. "What's wrong?" He asks.

"I had a bad day," I tell him.

"I heard about the fight at school."

I nod my head.

"I don't think that's what's bugging you though," he says. "What's wrong?"

"I ran away from Adam today," I tell him and then I start crying really hard.

He pulls me up onto his lap and I reach up and put my arms around his neck, and hug him really tight.

"It's going to be ok," he says.

"I also lied to Hannah. It's been a really bad day." I can't stop crying and I lift myself up so I can rest my head on his shoulder.

"We've all had really bad days before," Crane says. "It'll be ok, you'll see. Have you told Adam you're sorry?"

"Not yet, but I'm going to." I take my head off Crane's shoulder and look at him. "Why does everybody tease Adam about being a dad?"

"What do you mean?" He asks.

I wipe the tears off my cheeks when I'm done crying. "I know why they call him dad when they're mad, but why do they call him dad when they're happy?"

"Just to tease him because they know he doesn't like it."

"He doesn't like to be called dad, does he?" I ask.

Crane laughs. "No he doesn't."

That makes me feel really sad. I guess I really should rip up that card I made for him. If he doesn't like to be called dad he's not gonna like my card, especially after what I did today.

"What are you thinking about?" Crane asks.

"Nothing," I tell him, and I hug him again and rest my head on his shoulder.

* * *

When Hannah is done eating she comes into the living room.

"Heidi, I'm ready to show you your dress," she says. "And Crane we saved you some pie, but you better hurry because I think Guthrie's ready to have thirds!"

I move onto the couch so Crane can get up. I really don't feel like trying on a dumb dress right now.

"Hannah, do I have to try it on now? My wrist is still hurting."

She comes and sits next to me on the couch. "Well, I guess you don't have to now, but it needs to be soon so I can finish it. Then you can wear it for your Christmas show at school."

"You want me to wear it to school?" I ask. This can't be happening! Some girls get dressed up for our Christmas show at school, but most don't.

"Just for the evening performance," she says.

I see Adam getting up from the kitchen table and walking over here.

I jump off the couch. "My arm feels fine now! Let's go try on the dress!" I grab her hand and pull her towards the stairs.

"Ok," she says while laughing. "You don't have to run!"

But I'm already halfway up the stairs.

"Don't run!" She yells, following me. "Remember you have a cast on!"

* * *

As soon as Hannah comes into her bedroom I slam the door shut.

"Wow, you must really be anxious to try this dress on!" She says.

"Uh-hu," I say smiling up at her.

She walks over to her sewing machine and picks up something green and brings it over to me. It's dark green and it doesn't look like any kind of fabric I've ever seen before. I reach out and touch it.

"It feels so soft," I say, rubbing my hand across it.

"It's velvet," she says.

"It's pretty too." And I'm not lying, it really is pretty.

"Let's get it on you. Put your arms up," Hannah says. I put my arms up and Hannah takes my shirt off. Then she helps me finish getting undressed. "Ok, now remember, it's not finished yet." I hold my arms up and she puts the dress on.

It feels so soft! I walk over to the mirror. It's my mom's mirror. It's called a full length mirror 'cause you can see your whole self in it. I look in the mirror and smile. I like it. I twirl around so the dress flares out.

"It looks beautiful on you," Hannah says. She's standing behind me now. She pulls my hair back in a ponytail. "You can wear your hair like this and I can put a green bow in your hair."

"How about a green ribbon instead of a bow?" I ask.

"Sure," she says. "Now let me pin the sleeves and the hem. Stand still."

I stand still and stare at myself in the mirror. I look so different with a dress on. My new shoes will look pretty with the dress too.

"There," Hannah says, "that should do it. Let's get this off and I can finish sewing it tonight." She helps take it off and then she helps me put my clothes back on. I sit on the bed while she puts the dress back by her sewing machine.

"Hannah? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, you can ask me anything," she says.

"Why do you want me to be in the Christmas pageant at church?"

She comes and sits next to me on the bed and looks at me. "Why? I guess because I thought you'd like it."

"But I don't like it. I keep you telling you that and you're not listening to me," I tell her.

She's quiet for a while and then she looks a little sad. "I guess I was just thinking about things I liked to do when I was a little girl. Come to think of it, I guess I didn't really like being in it when I was your age either. My mom wanted me to be in it so I did it. I'm sorry, I should've listened to you. You probably don't like the dress or the shoes either, do you?"

"I didn't think I would, but I really do like the dress and shoes."

That makes her smile. "I guess it's a good thing Marie had enough kids to be in the pageant," she says.

I feel bad now and that makes my stomach hurt. I should tell her I lied but I don't know how.

"Heidi, is something wrong? Do you not want to wear the dress?"

"I have something I need to tell you," I tell her.

"What is it?" She asks.

I sit quietly for a while and then I look up at her.

"Hannah? I lied to you today," I say quietly.

Her smile is gone and she says, "about what?"

"About Marie saying she had enough kids. I told her I couldn't be in the play because of my wrist. Then I told you she had enough kids." I look up at her. "I'm sorry."

"It sounds like you lied to two people."

"Two? Who's the other person?" I ask.

"Marie," she says.

"Oh. I didn't think about that," I say sadly.

She starts talking to me in her serious voice. "Heidi, you shouldn't lie. Lies hurt people."

"Did I hurt you?"

"Yes, it hurts knowing you lied to me today."

"But if I didn't tell you I lied then you wouldn't feel hurt right now, right?" I ask. I'm confused. "So _telling_ you I lied, hurt you?"

"Heidi, tomorrow I was going to ask Marie if she had enough kids for the pageant."

"Oh. Then you would've found out I lied. Then you probably would've been hurt _and_ mad," I say.

"Right."

"Are you mad at me?" I ask her.

"I'm disappointed in you," she says. My eyes start to water. "But, I'm glad you told me the truth now."

"You are?"

"Yes, but this is important Heidi, look at me." I look at her. Please don't lie to me again." She says that in her really serious voice.

"Ok. I won't." She hugs me. "Hannah, do you still want me to be in the pageant?" I ask.

She smiles at me. "Only if you want to be in it. Do you want to be in it?"

"Will you be mad at me if I say I don't want to be in it?" I ask.

"No."

"Then I don't want to be in it," I say.

She hugs me and I hug her back and I hear someone knocking at the door.

"It's just me," I hear Adam say. "Can I come in now?"

I shake my head at Hannah, and she gives me a funny look before she says, "yes, you can come in."

Adam opens the door and Hannah says, "Heidi, why don't you go get your new shoes and show them to Adam."

"Ok!" I say running out of the room.

"Walk!" I hear her yell, but I don't listen because I want to get away from Adam fast!

* * *

When I get to my room I decide I'm going to stay in here for as long as I can. I'm not ready to talk to Adam yet. I look for my new shoes but I can't find them. That's weird, I know I left them on the bed. I look under the bed and they're not there. Where else could they be? I sit on my bed to think and then I remember I told Guthrie to hide them. He must've hid them while I was trying on my dress with Hannah. I've got to find him and tell him I want them back.

I walk out of my room and look down at the living room. I don't see him. He must be in the kitchen. I start to go downstairs, but Adam says, "Heidi, show me your new shoes."

I stare at him. "I need to talk to Guthrie first."

"No. Bring me your shoes."

"Ok," I say and I slowly walk back to my room. Now what? I probably only have a minute or two to think of something. I don't want Guthrie to get in trouble. I hear Adam walking down the hallway towards my room.

"Do you need help carrying the box?" He asks when he gets to my doorway.

I stare at him.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

I don't say anything, I just stare at him.

"Where are your shoes?"

I can't think of anything good to say so I just stand there staring at him.

"Answer me! Where are your shoes!" He yells. He looks mad.

"I don't know," I say quietly while looking down at the floor.

"What?" He yells.

"I don't know," I say a little louder.

"Well, where did you last see them?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

"Come on Heidi! Don't play this game with me!" He yells.

"I don't know where they are! I really don't!" I cry.

He glares at me and says, "you expect me to believe that?"

"Maybe Guthrie knows where they are," I say.

"Why would Guthrie know?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know, maybe he just does."

"Guthrie!" Adam yells.

Guthrie walks out of the kitchen, "what?" He yells.

"Do you know where Heidi's new shoes are?" Adam asks him.

Guthrie doesn't say anything. He looks at me and then he looks at Adam. Then he says, "nope. Why would I know?" When Adam turns around to look at me again Guthrie glares at me and then goes back into the kitchen.

"Can I just go ask Guthrie a question? Please?" I cry.

"No! Tell me where they are right now or I'm going to spank you!"

"No don't! I'll tell you!" I yell, and I start talking really fast. "I told Guthrie to hide them. I really don't know where they are," I cry. "I'm sorry!"

"Guthrie!" Adam yells. When Guthrie comes out of the kitchen Adam yells, "get Heidi's shoes now!"

Guthrie runs upstairs and into the boys room. After a little while he comes out holding the shoe box. When he hands it to Adam, Adam says to Guthrie, "I'll talk to you later." Then Adam looks at me and says, "in my bedroom! Now!"

I walk slowly to his room and see Hannah standing in the doorway. She looks a little mad. Probably because I had Guthrie hide the shoes. She moves out of the way so I can come in and I sit down on the floor near Adam's dresser. Adam walks in and closes the door behind him and then both him and Hannah sit down on the bed.

"Look at me Heidi," Adam says in his really serious voice. I look up at him and start crying. "We're going to talk now, and when I ask you a question you are going to answer me. Do you understand? You're not going to stare at me and not answer, ok?"

"Ok," I say.

"Why is Guthrie hiding your shoes?" He asks.

"Because at first I didn't want to wear them. I told Guthrie to hide them so when you asked me where they were, I could say I didn't know and that would be the truth. But I really like them now!" I look at Hannah. "I promise!" She looks serious, not happy.

"If Guthrie hides them and you tell me you don't know where they are, that's not the truth!" Adam yells. "That's lying because you know they're somewhere hidden!"

He's mad and yelling and that makes me cry really hard. "I'm sorry."

"But do you understand that's lying?" He asks.

I nod my head. "Ok," I say, but right now it seems like my brain can't think about what he's saying. I know he's saying something else right now but my ears can't hear him. I just keep crying and it's making me really upset.

"I'm talking to you!" Adam yells. "Answer me!"

"I can't hear you!" I yell.

"That doesn't even make any sense!" He yells.

I cover my face with my hands and cry.

"Calm down Heidi," Hannah says. But I can't. It feels like this day is lasting forever, I'm so tired. Hannah comes over and sits with me on the floor. "Calm down Heidi," she says as she rubs my back.

I shake my head at her. "I can't! It won't stop!" I cry.

"What won't stop?" She says quietly.

"The crying!" I yell.

She hugs me and starts rocking me. I can hear Adam stand up and he comes and sits on the other side of me.

"Heidi," he says.

I can't say anything. He picks me up and puts me in his lap. "Sh," he says while rocking me. "Calm down. Everything's going to be alright." He moves me so I'm up and can put my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder while he rubs my back.

"I'm sorry!" I cry. "I'm sorry! I won't ever run away from you again! I promise! I'm sorry!" I keep crying.

Adam just keeps rocking me and says, "sh. Stop talking Heidi. Just calm down."

"No! I can't stop! I'm sorry! I'm really really sorry!"

"I know," he says quietly. "I hear you. I believe you Heidi."

Hearing him say that helps me feel a little better. I try to calm down, but it's hard to do. "I'm sorry," I say quieter. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I keep saying it over and over.

"Stop," Adam says. "Stop talking and calm down. You don't have to say that anymore. I hear you."

"But I feel really bad," I say. I'm starting to calm down a little.

"That's how it feels when you do something wrong. You should feel bad about doing it," he says.

"I do feel bad. I do."

"Ok," Adam says. "Be quiet now."

I stop talking now and try to stop crying. He's still rocking me and that makes me feel better. "Can I go to bed now?" I ask quietly. "I'm tired."

"Sure," Adam says. I get off him and before he stands up he says, "look at me."

I stare into his eyes. "I want you to know you're grounded for the next three days for running away from me."

"Ok," I say.

I hug him and then he stands up and picks me up. He carries me to my room and Hannah follows him. He sets me down on my bed and gets my pajamas out. He gives them to Hannah and walks out to the hallway. She helps me get dressed and I crawl under the covers and close my eyes.

"Goodnight Heidi," she says and she kisses my forehead. When she leaves Adam comes back in.

"Goodnight," he says and he kisses my forehead too.

* * *

When I wake up in the morning it's still dark outside. I look at my clock. 5:00. That's early. I get up out of bed and go out into the hallway. I don't think anyone's awake. I go back in my room and get my pillow and my blanket and carry it to Adam and Hannah's door. Their door is closed so I lay the pillow down in front of it and lie on the floor. I cover myself with my blanket. I'm just gonna rest here until someone wakes up.

I hear someone getting up in the boys room. It's Crane and he's walking down the hallway.

He yawns and says, "what are you doing out here?"

"Resting," I tell him.

"Why don't you rest in your bed instead of here where everyone's gonna trip over you?"

"I don't want to. I just want to rest here."

"Ok. But when they open their door they're gonna step on you."

I cover my head with my blanket. We must've woken up Adam or Hannah because the door opens and Adam says, "what are you doing out here?"

I uncover my head. "Resting."

"Well, go rest somewhere else."

I cover my head back up so he picks me up and carries me to his bed and throws me on it. I laugh and then I feel him throw my pillow on me. I hear him and Hannah walk out of the room and I rest in their bed until Hannah comes in and tells me it's time to get up and get ready for school.

* * *

"Do I have to go to school today?" I ask Adam while I'm eating breakfast.

"Yes. Why do you want to stay home?"

"Because I think Gary's gonna bug me," I tell him.

"He's not supposed to," Adam says. He walks away from the stove and sits down in a chair next to me. "You remember what to do if he bothers you right?"

"Yes. But I'm scared of him."

"Why?" He asks.

"Because I can't beat him up with my cast on," I say holding my arm up.

"I'll beat him up for you!" Guthrie says. He sounds excited about that.

"No you won't!" Adam says. "Neither one of you is going to beat anyone up today. Ok?"

We stare at him.

"I said, ok?" He says again in his serious voice.

"Ok," I say. "But I'm really gonna want to if he bugs me."

"Well, don't!" He says getting up and kissing the top of my head on his way by me. "I don't want to get any phone calls from the school today," he says on his way out the back door.

* * *

The school day goes by quick and Gary doesn't bug me. Not even when we have to practice singing for our performance tonight. When we get home Hannah is there and she has cookies waiting for us in the kitchen.

"You're not working today?" I ask her.

"No, I have the day off. I finished sewing your dress today so you can wear it tonight," she says.

I sigh. I guess it's ok to wear a dress tonight. I know Denise is. "Ok," I tell Hannah.

"Is everybody coming to see us sing tonight?" Guthrie asks.

"I think so," she says.

"Good!" I say. I like it when my family comes to see me sing. "Is Guthrie going to get dressed up too?" I ask Hannah while smiling at Guthrie.

"No! I'm not gonna dress up!" He yells.

"Relax," Hannah says smiling at him, "I'm not finished with your shirt yet."

When we're done with our cookies, Guthrie and I go out to the barn to do our chores.

* * *

I'm really excited! We had an early dinner tonight and now I'm getting ready to go to school. Hannah helps me put my dress on and then she brings me some white tights. I haven't worn tights in a long time. She helps me put them on and then she helps with my shoes.

"Go stand in front of the mirror and I'll fix your hair," she says.

I look at myself in the mirror and I smile. I like the dress and the shoes and even the tights. Hannah brushes my hair and then pulls my hair back in a ponytail. She curls my ponytail with her curling iron. No one's ever curled my hair with a curling iron before. She makes my ponytail one long curl. I like it. She ties a green ribbon in my hair and then she looks at me in the mirror.

"You look so pretty!" She says.

I smile. "Thank you."

"You're just missing one thing," she says as she walks over to her dresser.

"What?" I ask as I watch her look through her jewelry box.

"This," she says coming back with something sparkly in her hand. "Turn and face me," she says.

I turn away from the mirror and towards her and she pins something on the front of my dress. Then she turns me so I'm facing the mirror again.

I gasp. "It's so pretty!" I say. Pinned on my dress is a sparkly red and green diamond Christmas tree pin. "Are those diamonds?" I ask.

She smiles. "Not real ones," she says.

"It's still pretty," I say. "Thank you Hannah!" I give her a big hug.

"Let's go. I think everyone's waiting downstairs."

I walk to the door and stop. "You go first," I tell her. I feel a little shy right now.

She opens the door and walks out and I follow closely behind her.

My brothers tell me I look pretty except for Guthrie. He says, "you look like a girl!"

"I am a girl!" I yell and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Now you don't!" Guthrie says laughing and I laugh too.

"Let's go pile in the cars," Brian says and we all grab our jackets and Guthrie and I run out to the truck.

* * *

When we get to school Guthrie and I go to our classrooms where we're supposed to wait. The rest of my family goes to the cafeteria to find seats. I hope they get to sit in the front row! I go to my desk and Denise is there and we hug each other.

"You look so pretty!" She says.

"Thanks! So do you!" I tell her. She's wearing a pretty red dress with a big bow in front. Her hair is curled too.

"I love your Christmas tree pin!" She says.

"Thanks, it's Hannah's."

When it's time for the show to start Mrs. Wilson lines us all up at the door and walks us to the cafeteria. She has to tell us to be quiet a lot because everyone's excited. When we walk in we go sit at our spot on the floor. I look around for my brothers but I don't see them in the front row.

The show starts when the kindergartners get set up on the risers. All the teachers have to keep telling us to be quiet but I think it's the parents making all the noise because I can hear them saying, "aw, they're so cute!"

The show starts and I sit patiently and wait. When it's our turn we walk quietly up to the risers and get ready to sing. I look for my family and I see them waving at me from a few rows back. I smile and wave back. Then I look for Guthrie's class and wave at him.

We sing our first song and I sing as loud as I can! I love singing! When we're done everyone claps and I think my family's the loudest! I smile at them and wave. When we sing our second song they clap louder when we take a bow.

When we're done singing we go back to our spot on the floor. I wait quietly until it's Guthrie's turn and then I yell his name and wave to him. My teacher only has to tell me to be quiet a few times. When his class is done there's one more class until our big finale.

When the eighth grade class is done singing, the eighth graders stay up on the risers and move up to the highest step, the third step. Each class goes up to take their spot on the risers until all the classes are up. My class is on the second step. I wave to my family and just as Ms. Steele is about to start us singing, I feel a pull on my ponytail. I turn around and Gary is standing behind me. I look at Ms. Steele and try to call her name but she must not be able to hear me.

I push my way past Denise and look behind me. Gary is pushing his way across his step to stay behind me. Everyone starts singing except for me and Gary and I don't know what to do so I stop moving and look at my brothers and start to cry. I can see all of my brothers starting to stand up and Gary pulls my hair really hard.

"Ow!" I yell really loud. Then I turn around and yell, "leave me alone!"

I push him as hard as I can so he falls off the riser and onto the floor. He lays there on his side and starts yelling and crying. I stare at him laying there and I feel bad. I jump down to the floor and run out the side door of the cafeteria.

I run as fast as I can out to the playground and sit under the slide. It's cold outside and dark. There are no lights out here, but I'm not scared. I sit and cry.

* * *

I've been sitting here crying for a while when I hear my name being called. It sounds like Guthrie and Ford. I don't say anything but I'm sure they can hear me crying because they come running over to me.

"Are you ok?" Ford asks, as Guthrie runs up to me and sits next to me and hugs me.

"Everyone's gonna be mad at me!" I cry.

"No they're not," Ford says.

"They're not Heidi! Trust me!" Guthrie says. He sounds excited so I wipe my eyes and look at him. "Everybody's fighting in the cafeteria!" He yells.

"What!" I yell.

"Not everyone!" Ford says.

"Well, Brian punched Gary's dad and Crane's either trying to hold Brian back or he's helping him. Daniel and Evan are punching the other brother they know from their high school!" Guthrie yells. "Everybody else in the cafeteria is trying to break it all up! It's crazy in there!"

"Where's Adam?" I ask.

"He's yelling at the principal! He's yelling really loud too! Hannah's with him and she's not stopping him from yelling! I think she's there to make sure he doesn't punch Mr. Brick!"

"Is Gary ok?" I ask.

"I don't know. His teacher was trying to help him up but he kept crying and telling her to go away!" Guthrie says. "He's still laying on the floor crying!"

"Heidi, we should go inside where it's warm," Ford says.

"Yeah!" Guthrie yells. "Let's go watch them fight!"

Normally I would want to go watch a fight, but there's no way I'm going back in the cafeteria. I'll probably be suspended for a whole week! Well, at least there's only three days of school left until Christmas vacation.

"I'm staying here," I tell them.

"I'll stay with you," Ford says, and he sits next to me and takes off his jacket and puts it around me. "Guthrie, you go inside and see what's going on."

"Ok!" Guthrie yells as he runs off.

* * *

"She's over here!" I hear Guthrie yelling. I look up and see Adam and Hannah following Guthrie to the playground. I break away from Ford and run to Adam. He picks me up and I hug him.

"I'm sorry!" I cry.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything! I'm sorry Gary bugged you. I wish we could've stopped him," he says while hugging me tightly. "You did everything you were supposed to do."

My other brothers are coming now. They're talking about the fight and I can hear them talk about who was hitting who, and how hard they were punching each other. When they see me they run up to us.

"Are you ok?" Daniel asks.

"Yes. Did you guys beat up Gary's family?" I ask.

Brian laughs a little. "We tried, but it got broken up pretty quickly."

"It's a good thing it did," Adam says. "We don't need anybody getting in trouble with the Sheriff."

"Adam, do I have to go to school tomorrow?" I ask as we walk towards the parking lot.

"No. You're staying home until I'm sure that kid isn't going to pick on you anymore," he says.

"Thanks," I tell him quietly.

When we get to the cars Adam puts me down and I get in the truck. I sit in the middle in between Adam and Hannah. I look up at Adam and watch him talk to Hannah. I can't believe he yelled at the principal and he's letting me stay home from school. I've never been afraid of Gary before and I'm glad Adam is helping me. He's a good big brother. I mean, he's a good Dad. I think dads protect their kids. I wonder if I should give him the card I made tonight. I don't know if he'll like it if he doesn't like us to call him dad.

"What?" Adam asks. He's looking at me now for a second and then he looks back at the road.

"What?" I ask.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asks.

"I'm not. Besides, how do you know if I'm staring at you when you're supposed to be looking at the road?"

He smiles and Hannah puts her arm around me so I lean against her. I keep staring at Adam, but more out of the corner of my eyes so he doesn't see.

* * *

When we get home Hannah makes hot chocolate and gets cookies out. Everyone finds a place to sit in the living room. I wait to see where Adam sits and then I go over to him and he helps me sit in his lap. Everyone is talking about the fight and I try to listen but it's hard to. I look up at Adam and wonder why he doesn't like to be called Dad. Does it make him mad? Someone's calling my name now so I stop thinking and listen.

Brian is laughing at me. "You look like you're burning a whole through Adam's face the way you're staring at him."

Guthrie laughs at that too. I look around the room and it seems like everyone's looking at me.

"Don't you want any cookies Heidi?" Hannah asks. "Or hot chocolate?"

I shake my head no and everybody starts talking about stuff again.

"You ok?" Adam asks quietly.

I look up at him and nod my head. He gives me a little squeeze and starts talking to everyone else again. I sit there with him until it's time to get ready for bed.

* * *

When I climb in bed I ask Adam who's going to stay home with me tomorrow.

"Hannah is. She's going to take the day off work because Brian, Crane and I have a lot of work to do on the ranch.

I'm not sure I want Hannah to stay with me. "She could go to work and I could help you. I don't mind doing work."

"No. With your cast on you wouldn't be able to help much. You can't ride a horse and you can't do a whole lot of work with one hand." He smiles down at me. "In fact, I think there'd be more work for me if you came to help, because I don't have time to babysit you. You seem to get into trouble when you're bored and have nothing to do."

"I could watch," I say hopefully. I look up at him and give him my biggest smile. "Pleeeeeeese?"

He laughs a little. "Yeah, you could watch for about five minutes and then I think you'd be running off finding trouble! No, you're going to stay inside with Hannah."

That makes me feel a little mad. "Can you tell Hannah not to make me do any schoolwork tomorrow?" I ask.

"I'll talk to her," he says, "but I can't make any promises." He smiles at me.

"Why not!" I yell. "You're my Da...," I stop talking and look away.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing," I say, looking at the wall.

"Look at me Heidi," he says.

I shake my head no.

"Why not? What were you going to say? I'm your what?" He asks.

"Nothing. I don't remember what I was going to say. I must be tired," I say and my eyes start to water.

"Why won't you look at me?"

I can't now because I don't want him to see me cry. I shrug my shoulders.

"What's wrong? You stare at me all the time and pretend that you don't. It's like you need to tell me something, or you want to tell me something. What is it?" He asks. "What's bothering you?"

My body starts to shake because I'm trying not to cry out loud. He hugs me and now I don't care that he knows I'm crying so I cry out loud.

"I want to know what's wrong. Are you worried about Gary?"

"No," I cry.

"Is someone else bothering you?"

I shake my head no.

"Is it one of your brothers?"

"No," I cry.

"Is it Hannah?" He asks quietly.

"No, it's not Hannah!" I yell.

"Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you! Leave me alone!" I yell.

"Is it me?" He asks.

I cry harder. "It's not you! It's not anybody! Nothing's bothering me!"

"Ok," he says softly. "I'll stop asking." He's quiet for a little bit. "Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?"

"No! I just want you to go away!"

He keeps hugging me. "Are you sure?"

I nod my head and say yes as quietly as I can. I don't want him to leave. I want to give him my card but I can't and it makes my stomach hurt.

"Ok. But if you need me I'm here. Just come get me or call my name." He kisses my forehead and gets up to go. I want to scream at him to stay with me but I can't. The only thing I can do is cry and watch him leave.

Not long after he leaves Hannah comes in. "Why are you crying?" She asks as she sits down on the bed.

"I don't want to talk about it!" I yell. "Go away and leave me alone!"

"You know we all love you Heidi, and you can tell us anything, right?" She asks.

"Go away!" I scream.

She gets up and Crane comes and stands in my doorway.

"I don't want you!" I yell to him. "I don't want anyone!"

Hannah and Crane leave and I get up and walk to my door and start to slam it shut but someone blocks it from closing. It's Brian and he picks me up and carries me back to my bed.

"I don't want you either!" I yell. He sits down and holds me. I feel so angry and I don't know why. Why do I keep telling everyone to go away? "I'm gonna hit you!" I yell at Brian.

"Go ahead," he says softly.

I punch his chest with my left hand and he doesn't do or say anything. He just keeps on holding me so I punch him again and then again and I keep doing that until I'm so tired I can't do it anymore. When I stop I put my arms around his neck and cry as hard as I can. He just holds me and he keeps on holding me until I fall asleep.

* * *

When I wake up in the morning it's 8:30. Everyone should be up and working or at school. I get up and go downstairs to see what's for breakfast and then I remember Hannah's staying home with me today. She'd better not make me do any schoolwork today or I'm gonna be mad! I feel like I'm already mad and the day hasn't even started yet!


	12. Chapter 12

Hannah's at the kitchen table sewing something.

"Good morning," she says looking up at me and smiling.

I feel grumpy so I don't say good morning back, instead I ask her what she's doing.

"I'm sewing Guthrie's new Christmas shirt. Do you want to see it?" She asks.

I shrug my shoulders and she holds it up.

"What's so Christmasy about that? It's just a plain white shirt," I say.

Her smile fades a little and she holds up something else for me to see. It's a green sweater but the sleeves aren't sewn on yet. "It's green so it matches your dress," she says.

"Is it gonna be ready in time? You haven't even sewn the sleeves on yet."

"It's a sweater vest. It's not supposed to have sleeves," she says and she's smiling again.

"What's the point of that? It's just gonna make his arms cold."

She puts the sweater down and says, "are you hungry? I saved some sausage for you and I can make you an egg." She gets up and I watch her get a glass and go to the fridge to get the orange juice out.

"Sure," I say while shrugging my shoulders.

She puts the glass down on the table a little loud and she looks at me like she's a little mad. I stare at her. I think she's waiting for me to say something. Oh, I think I know.

"Yes please," I say and I give her a smile until she stops looking at me to pour me some orange juice. Then I glare at her. I sit down at the table and sigh.

"What's wrong?" She asks while she hands me my orange juice.

"What are we going to do today?" I hope in my head she's not going to say schoolwork!

"I thought we could make some Christmas cookies," she says while getting some eggs out.

That might be fun. "What else?" I ask.

"That might be all we have time to do," she says while she cooks me some eggs.

Yeah! No schoolwork. "Why's that all we have time for? Are we going somewhere?"

She brings me my eggs. "I need to get ready for tonight."

"What's happening tonight?" I ask.

"Adam's taking me out to dinner in Sonora," she says.

"What! Why is he doing that? You guys don't go out to dinner. Is it like a date or something?"

She smiles and her cheeks turn pink. "Yes, it is a date."

"How can he afford to take you out to dinner?" I ask. I can't believe they're going on a date! I don't think I want them to.

"Well, I'm paying. I've been making a lot of money working for Marie, and I wanted to give Adam an early Christmas present, so we're going on a date."

I glare at her while she sits back down at the table and starts sewing again. I start to feel kind of funny. It's the kind of feeling I get when Guthrie has a friend over to play and I can't play with them. My brothers say I'm jealous. Why would I feel jealous of Hannah and Adam going out on a date? I'm confused.

"What are we all gonna have for dinner if you're not here to cook it?" I ask.

I think that made her a little mad because she puts her sewing down and glares a little at me when she says, "Brian is staying home with you and he'll make you dinner."

"What do you mean he's _staying home_ with me? Where's everybody else gonna be?" I ask.

"Daniel has to practice with his band for the party this weekend and everyone else is going too," she says. She goes back to her sewing.

"Even Guthrie?" I ask.

"Yes," she says, not looking up.

"What! Why don't I get to go? That's not fair!"

"Because you're grounded from running away from Adam," she says.

That makes me mad. "I'm done eating! I'm gonna go get dressed!" I get up and start to leave the kitchen.

"Clean up your dishes," she says.

"I can't. I only have one hand. I can't carry my plate and glass together."

"Then I guess you'll have to make two trips," she says while sewing.

I'm not gonna do that, so I put my glass on my plate and carefully pick up my plate and slowly start walking towards the sink. It's hard to balance with my left hand and the glass starts to feel heavy as it starts sliding off the plate. I try to stop it from falling but it drops to the floor and breaks just as the plate slips out of my hand and it falls to the floor breaking too.

I look down at the mess. It's a big mess. The plate only broke in half but the glass shattered all over the place. Hannah is up from her chair and she's looking down at the mess too.

"You should've made two trips," she says in her serious voice.

"I told you it was too hard!" I yell.

"Heidi," she says in an even more serious voice, "you're not going to yell at me. Don't move because you don't have any shoes on."

I stand still and she lifts me up and sets me in the living room. "Go upstairs and get dressed and then come down here and help me clean up this mess."

"I need help getting dressed!" I yell.

"You'll figure it out," she says glaring at me.

I glare back and slowly walk over to the stairs.

* * *

This is not going to be a good day! I sit down on my bed and stare at my dresser. Why do they have to go out on a date? Why can't they just stay home like they do every night? Why do they need to go on a date when they're already married?

"Are you dressed yet?" Hannah calls up from downstairs.

I get off my bed and walk out into the hallway so I can look down at her. "I told you, I need help."

"You need to get dressed now," she says in a mad voice.

"I can't get dressed without help, so I'm not going to do it!" I yell.

"Then you can stay in your room until lunchtime. We don't have to make the cookies. I'll think up schoolwork for you to do after lunch," she says.

"I'm not gonna do any schoolwork today so don't bother making any!" I go back into my room and slam my door shut. Then I open it and yell, "I don't like you today, Hannah!" Then I slam it shut again. This _is_ going to be a bad day today and it's just getting started.

* * *

I wonder what time lunch is. I look at my clock and it says 11:00. I've been in here for two hours. I've read all my books, drew four pictures of Lucy, and now I'm laying on my bed throwing my bouncy ball at the wall. I wonder what Hannah's doing. I wonder if she cleaned up the broken glass. I hear the front door open and I sit up really fast.

I'm not gonna get in trouble for this, am I? I bet I am. I quietly open my door a crack and listen. I hear Brian, Crane, and Adam talking to Hannah about what they've been working on outside. I can see them all sit down on the couch until Hannah looks up at my door and she asks Adam to go into the kitchen with her.

She's gonna tell on me! I close my door and look around my room for something to block my door with. I wish I could push my dresser over to it but it's too heavy. I have a chair in my room that I throw my clothes on. It's a wooden kitchen chair. That might work. I've seen Guthrie slide a chair under a doorknob before so Evan couldn't come into the room. Maybe I could do that.

I drag the chair over to the door and tilt it back so the chair back is resting against the door underneath the knob. I sit back down on my bed and listen. I can hear people talking but I don't hear any yelling. That's good.

But now I hear someone walking upstairs. There's a knock on my door and someone tries to open it. It only opens a crack because the chair's in the way. It worked!

"Open the door!" Adam yells.

"I'm getting dressed!" I yell back.

"I don't care! Open the door now!"

"Ok! Jeez!" I walk over to the chair and try to pull it away from the door but it's stuck. "It's stuck! I yell.

"What's stuck?"

"The chair!" I yell.

"Move the chair out of the way and open the door! Now!"

"I'm trying, but it's really stuck!" I yell.

Adam lets go of the doorknob and closes the door. "Slide the chair out from under the doorknob Heidi," he says. He doesn't yell that, he just says it kind of calmly.

I'm able to move the chair out of the way and I open the door a crack. "What do you want?" I ask.

"Open the door!"

I open it slowly but I guess he doesn't like that because he opens it up faster.

"What are you doing?" He yells.

"Nothing," I say quietly.

He sighs. "Hannah tells me you're not cooperating with her."

I shrug my shoulders and say, "she told me to stay in my room and I'm doing that."

He glares at me now and starts talking but it turns into yelling. "Did she tell you to get dressed and then come downstairs and help her clean up the mess you made?"

"Did 'she' clean up the mess?" I ask.

I don't know why but it looks like that made him madder. "Get dressed!" He yells.

"I need help!" I yell back.

"I'm getting really mad at you!" He yells. "I'm about ready to...,"

I know what he's gonna say so I quickly say, "ok, I'll get dressed! But you have to go away first!"

"I'll turn around, but I'm not going anywhere. You have exactly three minutes to get dressed!"

"Three minutes! It's gonna take me longer than that!" I yell.

He turns around and looks at his watch. "The clock's ticking."

I quickly open my drawer and look for something to wear. I throw a shirt and jeans on my bed and slam the drawer shut. I open my top drawer to get a pair of socks out and I see the card I made for Adam. I'm not giving it to him now, that's for sure!

"Two minutes," Adam says.

I try as fast as I can to get my pajamas off. It's easy to pull clothes off with one hand but it's hard to put clothes on with one hand. I sit on the edge of my bed and put one leg in my jeans and then the other. I stand up and hop into them while I pull them up. I can zip them but I can't button them. I get my shirt and pull it on over my head. I get my socks and sit down on the floor to put them on. It takes a while and they're kind of crooked but I get them on. I stand up and look for my boots but I don't see them. I see my tennis shoes so I put them on. I stand up and say, "I'm done!"

Adam turns around and I glare at him. I fold my arms across my chest and say, "I can't tie my shoes and I can't button my jeans!"

Adam folds his arms across his chest and glares down at me. "If you're asking for help, that's not how you ask."

I glare at him for a while and then say, "will you please help me?"

He kneels down and ties my shoes and then he buttons my jeans. He looks at me while he's down here kneeling and says in his serious voice, "you have a big mess to clean up downstairs. After that you can have some lunch and then Hannah has some work for you to do. You also need to apologize to her."

I put my arms at my sides and clench my hands tightly in fists as I glare at him.

"Why are you so mad today?" He asks.

"I'm not!"

He looks in my eyes and says quietly, "it sure seems like you are."

"Well I'm not!"

He sighs and gets up. "Get downstairs and clean up your mess."

I push past him and run down the hall to the stairs.

"Walk!" He yells.

I stop running and stomp down the stairs and into the kitchen. As I walk by Brian and Crane I look at them and yell, "don't look at me!"

* * *

It's hard to use the broom with my left hand but I try my best. I slide it across the floor but when I can't push it hard enough and it gets stuck I try to push it really, really hard and it pushes glass all across the floor.

Adam takes the broom out of my hand and gives me the dust pan. "I didn't mean for that to happen," I tell him. He starts sweeping. I look over at Hannah who's at the counter making lunch. "How come you're doing this and not Hannah?"

He stops sweeping and glares at me. "Do you want to do this all by yourself?" I shake my head. "Then be quiet and hold the dust pan!"

After a while he takes the dust pan and finishes without my help. I sit down at the table and Hannah tells everyone lunch is ready. She puts my plate in front of me and I lift the top piece of bread up on my sandwich.

"Baloney! I don't like baloney!"

"Do you want to go eat in your room!" Adam yells.

"No," I say quietly.

"Then shut up and eat your sandwich!" He says.

"Hey! You're not...," I start to say, but he points his finger at me and says, "shut it!" So I do. I was just going to tell him he's not supposed to say shut up to me. I stare at him and then I stare at Hannah. Why do they need to go on a date tonight? They're eating lunch together right now. Why do they have to go eat dinner in a restaurant? I start glaring at them. I wonder if I can get them to stay home. I'll have to think of a plan.

After lunch and before he goes outside to work again Adam tells me he wants to talk to me so I follow him into the living room. He tells me to sit on the couch and he sits on the coffee table right in front of me.

"Why are you so mad today?" He asks.

"I don't know," I say while shrugging my shoulders. "Maybe it's because I don't feel good."

"You don't feel good?" He asks putting his hand on my forehead. "You don't feel warm."

"My throat hurts. I don't think you should go on a date tonight," I tell him.

He smiles just a teeny tiny bit and says, "you don't, do you? You think I should stay home?"

"Yes. With me."

"Brian will be here and he'll take good care of you."

"No, I want you to take care of me," I say.

"I can't. You'll be fine with Brian. He's taken care of you before," he says and stares at me.

I glare at him. That didn't work. I'll have to think of something else.

"Now you look mad again," he says.

I just keep glaring at him.

"I want you to listen carefully to me," he says. "You are going to be good for Hannah. She has some work for you to do and I want you to do it without complaining. Do you understand me?"

I glare at him and nod my head.

"Good." He gets up. "Get a pencil and go into the kitchen."

I glare at him as he walks out the front door. I'll get a pencil but I don't think I'm gonna do the work. I get up and walk over to the desk to get a pencil. I look out the window by the desk. I wish I was outside playing. I get a pencil and go into the kitchen.

Hannah is sitting at the table sewing something again. She looks up at me and smiles. "Here's some work for you to do."

"Why can't we make cookies now instead?" I ask.

"I thought we would do that today but you decided you didn't want to when you spent the morning in your room."

Hmmmm. "I didn't decide that. You did when you sent me there."

She looks back down at her sewing. "Sit down and get to work," she says.

I sit down and look at the papers. Multiplying of course, and writing? Write about my favorite Christmas? "Hannah, it's too hard for me to write. Remember I have to write with my left hand."

"You can do it," she says while she sews.

I sigh and very quietly say, "I'll write about my worst Christmas."

"What was that?" She asks.

"I didn't say anything," I tell her. I look at the math paper and sigh again. "Hannah I don't know how to do any of this. It's too hard!" She doesn't say anything. "Are you listening to me? I need help!"

She puts her sewing down and looks at me. "You can do it all by yourself. This is the last time I'm going to tell you. Now get to work." She says all that in her serious voice.

I glare at her. "Fine!" I look at the writing paper and cross out the word favorite and write the word worst. Then I read it to her. "Write about your worst Christmas." I start to write and read it out loud as I go along. I have to write slowly because of my hand but I'm gonna do it. "My...worst...Christmas...ever...is...this...one!"

She puts her sewing down and gets up. I look at her and she takes her sewing and goes into the living room.

"Where are you going?" I ask. It's no fun to write about my worst Christmas if she can't hear me say it out loud. "Are you ignoring me now? Hannah?" I sigh. This is no fun. I scribble all over my paper and then crumple the paper up and throw it in the living room. Then I look at the math paper. It's too hard! I get up and go into the living room.

"How long do I have to stay in there?" I ask Hannah. She's doing her sewing on the couch.

"Until you're finished with your work," she says. "If I were you I'd pick up that crumpled piece of paper on the floor that you threw in here." She doesn't even look up from what she's doing.

I go pick up the paper. "Why are you being so mean today Hannah?" I ask.

She looks up at me. "I should be asking you that question. You're being very difficult today."

"It's because you're making me do work!" I yell.

"Go back in the kitchen, Heidi." She says that in her most serious voice ever, so I go.

I sit back down at the table and decide I'm not going to do the work. At least not yet. I look around the kitchen. What am I going to do. I don't want to sit here forever. I lean back in my chair and balance it on it's two back legs. This isn't a whole lot of fun. I think some more about how I can get Adam to stay home tonight. While I'm thinking I lose my balance and fall backwards against the wall and then down to the floor. That hurt.

Hannah comes running in. "Are you ok?" She asks. "What happened."

"I don't know, the chair just fell over," I tell her.

She looks at me and says, "the chair just fell over all by itself?" It looks like she doesn't believe me.

Then I get an idea. I get up off the floor and hold my cast up. "My wrist hurts."

It looks like she doesn't believe that either. "Just rest it then. It should be fine while you do your work."

I pick up my chair after she leaves and I sit back down. Maybe Adam will believe me. I better think of a different plan in case that doesn't work. He has to stay home with me if my wist hurts, right? I put my head down on the table and close my eyes. This is the worst day ever! I sit up again and decide to draw a picture on the back of my writing paper. I open the paper up and try to smooth all the wrinkles out. Even though it's hard to draw with my left hand I draw a pretty good picture of me and Guthrie sliding down an ice slide. I wish I had some crayons to color with.

I get up and walk into the living room. "I'm going to the bathroom," I tell Hannah as I walk by her on my way to the stairs. She's sitting on the couch that's closest to the stairs so her back is facing the stairs. I walk upstairs and when I get to the bathroom I tiptoe quietly into my bedroom and get my box of crayons. Then I tiptoe back to the bathroom and go in and shut the door.

I wait for a little bit and then flush the toilet so it seems like I really went to the bathroom. I turn the water on at the sink and pretend to wash my hands. When I think I've been in here long enough I open the bathroom door and run downstairs and into the kitchen as fast as I can.

"Heidi?" Hannah calls from the living room.

I look for a place to hide my crayons but there isn't anywhere so I put the box on my chair. "What?" I ask running back into the living room.

"Didn't you need help with the button on your jeans when you went to the bathroom?" She asks.

I stare at her for a little bit before finally saying, "I did it all by myself!" I act excited so she believes me.

"Good!" She says smiling at me.

"Hannah? Why do you always tell on me?" I ask.

She stops sewing and looks at me. "What do you mean?"

"When I had to stay in my room this morning you told Adam why I was in there. Why'd you do that?"

"Because he needs to know," she says.

"But why?" I ask while I sit down on the couch next to her.

"He's your big brother."

"Brian's my big brother too. Why didn't you tell him? Or Crane? Why do you always have to tell Adam?"

"Because he's in charge of you, but you already know that," she says smiling at me.

"Why do you have to tell him or anyone else? Why can't you just keep it to yourself? That way you're the only one mad. When you tell him, both of you are mad," I tell her.

"I have to tell him because he's in charge of you," she says again.

"But who picked him to be in charge?" I ask.

She looks at me and thinks for a minute. "I guess he did because he's the oldest." She looks back down at her sewing and starts sewing again.

"That's why everyone teases him about being the Dad, isn't it?" I ask.

She laughs. "Yes."

"He doesn't like to be called Dad," I say, and then I slowly ask, "does he?"

She keeps on sewing and says, "oh I don't know. I think sometimes he secretly likes to be called that."

I smile really big and say, "he does?" Maybe I said that a little too excitedly because Hannah looks up at me and I immediately stop smiling.

"I think so," she says. It looks she has a tiny bit of a smile and her eyes are smiling at me too.

I look away. "Well, I don't think you should have to tell him everything I do that's wrong."

"Well, I'm going to. Maybe you should stop doing stuff that's wrong and then I wouldn't have to tell him anything. How much work have you done so far?" She asks.

"Lots!" I lie, and I run back into the kitchen.

* * *

I'm tired of sitting at the table so I stand instead. I do all the math problems I know how to do and save the hard ones for later. Then I get my crayons out and start coloring the picture I drew of me and Guthrie sliding down the ice slide.

Hannah comes in and I show her my picture. "See. It's of me and Guthrie going down the ice slide."

"It looks nice, but I want to see the work you've done."

I show her my math. "I did all the ones I knew how to do. I need help with the rest." Then I show her the picture again. "And I drew this."

"That's all the work you've done?" She asks.

I can't tell if she's mad or not because she doesn't sound happy. I stare at her and nod my head.

"You'd better get busy. You've got a lot more work to do," she says in her serious voice. "I'm going to go upstairs and start getting ready."

I sit down in my chair and watch her leave the kitchen.

* * *

It seems like I've been sitting in the kitchen doing nothing for a long time now waiting for the front door to open. Finally it does and Guthrie walks in.

"You're home!" I yell.

He runs into the kitchen. "Guess what Heidi! Gary's arm is broken!"

"What?"

"You broke his arm last night when you pushed him off the risers!"

We smile at each other until Hannah walks in and says, "that's nothing to smile about!" She goes to the cupboard to get some cookies out. But Guthrie and I keep smiling at each other.

"Why is only half your hair curled Hannah?" Guthrie asks. We both start laughing.

"Because I'm down here getting cookies out for you two!" She says. She laughs too and says, "save some for your brothers, I'm going back upstairs to finish curling my hair. Heidi, you need to finish your work. I want it done before I leave."

"What time are you leaving?" I ask.

"4:30," she says.

"4:30! Why so early?" I ask.

"That's when we're leaving. Get to work," she says and then she leaves.

I sigh and look at my math work.

"Where is she going?" Guthrie asks while he sits down at the table.

"On a date with Adam!" I say sadly.

"Why are you sad?" He asks.

"I don't know. Will you help me with my math?" I ask him.

"Ok."

I tell him what the problems are and he tells me all the answers while I write them down. I love it when my brothers help me. Well, only Guthrie, Ford, Evan and Daniel help me like that, the other ones make me do the work.

"What other work do you have to do?" He asks.

"Writing!" I show him my paper and he says I _should_ write about the worst Christmas ever, and then he tells me what to write.

"Done!" I yell.

The back door opens and Adam walks in. "Done with what?" He asks.

"All my work," I say showing him my math and writing.

"It took you all afternoon to do that?" He asks.

I can't tell if that's good or bad so I show him the picture I drew. "I also drew this!"

He glares at me. "Did you give Hannah a hard time?"

I glare back. "No, I don't think so."

"I think I'll go ask her," he says while he still glares at me.

I keep glaring too. "Why aren't you outside working?"

"I'm going to take a shower. I have to get ready for my date," he says. He takes his cowboy hat off and walks into the living room.

Oh, I almost forgot! "Adam," I say while following him to the stairs, "I have to tell you something."

He turns around and looks down at me. "What?"

"I fell today and my wrist hurts really bad!"

"It does?" He asks.

I nod my head. "I think you should stay home just in case it starts to hurt worse."

Now it looks like he doesn't believe me and he says, "you should go rest on the couch. That should help it feel better."

I stand there and watch him walk up the stairs to his room. That didn't work! I'll have to think of something else.

* * *

I wait until Adam's done with his shower and he's dressed. Hannah leaves the bedroom with her makeup bag and takes it to the bathroom. I walk in their bedroom and jump on their bed and sit leaning against the pillows.

"Whatcha doing?" I ask Adam as he puts on a tie.

"Getting ready," he says.

"Why are you wearing a tie?" It looks like he doesn't know how to put it on. "Do you even know how to tie that?" I ask.

He turns around and glares at me. "Yes, I know how to tie it! And we're going somewhere fancy, that's why I'm wearing it." He turns back around to his mirror and tries to tie it again.

I laugh. "It looks like you don't know how to tie it!"

He glares at me through his mirror and stops trying.

"Why are you going someplace fancy? Why don't you just go to McDonald's instead?"

"Because we want to go someplace fancy." He's talking slowly now. "Why are you asking so many questions?"

"I don't know. Why are you putting that on?" I ask when I see him put some cologne on.

"So I smell good," he says.

"Why do you want to do that?"

He walks over to the bed with his shoes and sits down. He looks at me. "Stop asking so many questions!"

I watch him put his dress shoes on. "You smell like Brian!" I laugh. Hannah walks into the room and I gasp. "You look so pretty!" I say.

She smiles at me. "Thank you."

Adam stands up and she walks over to him and ties his tie. Hannah is wearing a pretty red dress. Her hair looks more pretty than usual and her makeup does too. Her lips match her dress.

"You look just like Snow White," I say quietly, but loud enough that they can hear me. She always looks like Snow White to me, but tonight she looks even more like her. They smile at each other.

"You do," I hear Adam say to her quietly. His eyes are smiling at her eyes, and her eyes are smiling at his.

I close my mouth because I realize it's open while I'm staring at them. And then they kiss!

"Yuck!" I yell and I slap my hands over my eyes. I hear them laugh a little and I peek to see if they're done. They are, so I put my hands down.

Hannah walks over to the closet and gets her black high-heeled shoes out and puts them on. I laugh. "You're still not as tall as Adam, even with those on!"

She smiles and says, "I'm ready."

"I am too," he says.

I stand up on the bed. "When are you coming home?" I ask.

"After your bedtime," Adam says.

"Goodnight," Hannah says, and she gives me a kiss on my cheek. Then she wipes the lipstick off my cheek with her thumb. She walks towards the door and Adam says to me, "be good for Brian. He gives me a kiss on the top of my head and I grab his arm as he walks towards the door.

"Wait!" I yell.

He stops and comes back. "What?"

"My wrist hurts really bad!" I say while I hold my arm up.

"I'll wait for you downstairs," Hannah tells him, and he smiles at her and nods.

He looks back at me. "What's wrong Heidi?"

"I told you. My wrist hurts."

"Rest on the couch. You'll be fine," he says.

"No I won't! I want you to stay home with me. That's the only thing that will make it feel better!"

He sighs and smiles at me. "I know your wrist is fine. Why don't you want me to go?"

I stare at him and think. I'm not sure I know why. "I just feel like I don't want you to go. What if something bad happens?"

"Nothing bad is going to happen," he says. He cups my face in his hands and lifts it up. He smiles at me. "We'll be back before you know it. Nothing bad will happen."

"You don't know that! Something bad happened to your mom and dad!" That just kind of popped out because I've never really thought about that before.

He looks sad now and he hugs me for a while. "We'll be home before you know it. Brian's going to take good care of you," he says quietly.

I hug him really tight and I can feel him stop hugging me but I'm not going to let go. "You need to let go now," he says quietly.

"I don't want to," I say quietly.

He hugs me again and picks me up so he can carry me. He takes me downstairs and asks, "where's Brian?"

"He's in the kitchen making spaghetti," Guthrie says. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Adam says as he carries me to the kitchen. He walks over to Brian and whispers something to him that I can't hear.

Then I feel Brian pull me away from Adam. "Why don't you help me stir the pot."

I hug Brian really tight and look away from Adam. I know he's in the living room now because I hear Crane ask what's wrong and Adam answers, "I think I know, but I'm not sure. She's never acted this way before." Then I hear the door open and everyone say goodbye.

"I want down now," I tell Brian. When he puts me down I run into the living room and over to the front window. I stare out through the window. It's still a little light outside and I watch Adam and Hannah get in the truck and drive away.

My stomach feels funny and I feel sad. I don't know why I feel like this but I just want Adam to come back home. I miss him already. I hope something bad doesn't happen to him. When I think about that I start to feel scared.

Guthrie comes running up to me. "What's wrong?" He asks.

I'm still looking out the window. I don't know why I'm still looking, I guess I'm hoping they'll come back. "I don't know. I feel like something bad is going to happen to Adam," I tell him.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. It just feels like it is."

He puts his arm around me and we stare out the window together.

* * *

After dinner everyone gets ready to go into town. Everyone except for me and Brian that is. If I felt like normal I would be bugging Brian to go too, but I don't feel like normal. I go sit in the big comfy chair and stare into space.

I wonder what Hannah and Adam are doing right now. How come they're gonna be home so late if they're just eating dinner?

"Daniel?" He's getting his guitar ready to go. "Why are Adam and Hannah coming home so late?"

"I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about," he says.

"If they're just going out to dinner and they're only going to Sonora, why'd they have to leave so early, and why are they coming back so late?" I ask.

"Maybe they're doing something else after they have dinner."

"Like what?"

He smiles. "I don't know. Why don't you ask Brian. Maybe he knows." Then he yells, "let's go guys!"

Everyone is running towards the door and grabbing jackets as they head out to the jeep. They all yell bye to me and Brian.

"What do you wanna do tonight squirt?" Brian asks as he sits down on the arm of my chair.

I shrug my shoulders. "Where are Adam and Hannah going?" I ask.

"Out to dinner," he says.

"But what else are they doing?"

"I don't know Heidi, I really don't. What do you want to do tonight?"

"Brian, do you think something bad is going to happen to them?"

"No. Do you?"

I nod my head. "What if they get in a car accident?" I ask.

"They're not going to get in an accident," he says. "Come on, is this all we're gonna do tonight? Sit here and do nothing?"

"But what if they do get in accident? What if they roll off the side of the road and no one sees them? What if they drive off the side of a cliff and can't climb back up?" I look up at him. "What if they die when they fall off the cliff?"

"Knock it off. None of that is going to happen." He picks me up out of the chair. "Look at me," he says. When I do he says, "you need to stop now. Let's talk about something else. Let's play a game or something. What do you want to play?"

"You pick," I tell him.

"Oh my God!" He says. "Where are you Heidi? Where's your smile? I swear I'm gonna hang you upside down until you start laughing! Are you ready?"

"No don't!" I yell.

"What? I can't hear you," he yells as he pretends to start hanging me upside down. That makes me laugh. "I knew you were in there somewhere!" He says while laughing with me. "Ready?"

"Yes!" I yell and he hangs me upside down. I laugh a lot. He sets me down and I smile up at him. "That was fun! Can we have ice cream now?"

"Sure!" He walks into the kitchen and I follow him.

I get two spoons and Brian gets the ice cream out of the freezer.

* * *

We have fun eating ice cream and then we play Sorry which isn't as fun with only two people, but Brian makes it fun. He usually lets me win when we play board games.

"Now what?" I ask when we finish playing Sorry. "Should we play another game?"

"We can play Go Fish or Crazy Eights," he suggests.

"Those games are for babies. Let's play a real card game," I tell him.

"How 'bout Blackjack?" He asks.

"Is that the game where you try to make twenty-one with your cards?"

"Yep!"

"Let's play for money! _Real_ money!" I shout.

"You don't have any _real_ money," he says laughing at me.

"You could let me borrow some of yours," I say smiling at him.

"How about we play for candy? I bet Hannah's got some sort of candy in here somewhere." He gets up and starts looking in cupboards.

"Yes!" I get up and help him look.

We look through every cupboard and find nothing.

"How about on top of the refrigerator?" I suggest.

Brian picks me up and holds me up so I can look on top of the refrigerator. "M&M's!" I yell. I grab the bag and he puts me down.

"You go get the cards," he says, "and I'll put another log in the stove."

I grab the cards off the bookshelf. "Why is it so cold tonight?" I ask.

"It's supposed to snow in the morning," he says as he opens the door of the wood burning stove and puts a log in. "Let's play in here instead of the kitchen," he says. "It'll be warmer."

I sit on the floor in front of the coffee table and put the cards on it. Brian reminds me how to play and we split the big bag of M&M's. I must have at least two hundred of them! Brian's the dealer and we bet and play a few hands to help remind me how to play, then we play for real.

He deals and I get a king and a jack. I push a bunch of M&M's in the middle of the table and he does the same. I can see he has a jack too. All I need is an ace! "Hit me!" I yell.

"Are you sure?" He asks. "You know, if you have twenty you should stay. I don't know what you have but you might want to think about that for a minute.

"I do have twenty," I tell him. "But all I need is an ace and I'll win."

"There's only four aces in the whole deck, Heidi," he says.

"I know. I just need one of them. Hit me!"

He deals me a card and turns it over and lays it on my cards. "It's an ace!" I yell. "I win!" I start to take all the M&M's that are in the middle.

"Hold it!" He yells. I stop and watch him turn over his cards.

"You have an ace too! And a jack! You have twenty-one too! We both win!" I start eating some of the M&M's.

"Hey! Quit eating the money!" He says and we both laugh as he eats some too. "You got lucky with that ace," he says.

I shrug my shoulders. We play a few more hands. I lose them all. It turns out it's pretty hard to make twenty-one all the time, but I keep trying. Brian has a lot more M&M's than I do now. The next hand I get two queens. All I need is an ace! "Hit me!"

"Are you sure," he asks.

"Yes!" He starts to deal me a card and all of a sudden the lights go out! I scream and yell, "I'm scared! I'm scared!" Over and over.

"I'm coming," Brian says even though he's really close to me. He reaches out and picks me up and puts me on the couch next to him.

"What happened?" I ask. I start crying.

"I think we're having a power outage," Brian says.

"I don't like those! Brian, it's too dark!"

"I know. You don't have to be scared. I'll get a flashlight and then we can light some candles." He starts to get up but I grab onto him.

"Don't leave me!" I cry.

"I'm not leaving you. I'm just going to get Guthrie's flashlight. You can come with me," he says.

"I'm scared!"

"I know. Take my hand and walk with me." He finds my hand and I get up and walk with him over to where Guthrie sleeps. He feels around on the floor for the flashlight and when he finds it he turns it on. "See, it's not dark anymore."

"I'm still scared. It's really dark."

"I know. Come into the kitchen with me and we'll get some candles."

I go in with him and he gets some of our emergency candles out and a lantern. He puts one candle on the kitchen table and lights it.

"There. We've got some light in here," he says. "Now let's light up the living room."

We walk in there and he puts a few candles on an end table and lights them and then one on the coffee table. Then he lights the lantern. He hands me the flashlight.

"You keep this in case you need it," he says.

I take it and ask, "what'd you mean in case I need it? I'm gonna stay with you."

"I'm going to take the lantern and go look outside for a minute."

"No! You can't leave me in here all by myself! I'm too scared!" I cry really hard.

"Heidi! It's just for a minute! The candles in here are just like a lamp being on," he picks me up. "Please stop crying."

I can't stop. "You can't go outside! There's probably a bad guy out there who cut the power off to our house!"

"No there's not!"

"How do you know?" I ask. "You don't know that!" I cry.

"Look, you gotta stop! The power's probably off because a storm's coming." He carries me to the door with him.

"No! Stop! Don't open the door!" I squeeze my eyes shut.

He opens the front door and we walk out on the porch while he shines the lantern around. "It's snowing!" He says. "That's why the powers out Heidi."

I open my eyes and look around. It's hard to see because we just have a lantern, but it's definitely snowing. "There isn't a bad person out here?"

"Nope. Looks like there's about three inches already. It must have been snowing for a while."

I stop crying and Brian takes us back inside. He puts the lantern on the coffee table and holds me so we can look at each other.

"Are you feeling better now?" He asks. He's smiling so I smile back.

"Yes."

"Good! 'Cause all that crying was driving me crazy!"

"Sorry," I say and then I laugh. "What are you gonna do when you get married and your wife cries?"

"I'm not gonna marry a wife that cries," he says.

"Is that why you're not married?" I ask. I smile really big at him.

He glares at me. "What'd you know about marriage? You're just a 'little' girl!" Then he smiles at me. "Do you wanna finish our card game? We still have a lot of M&M's left to eat."

"Ok."

He puts me down and I go sit on the floor next to the coffee table. He sits down on the couch and picks up the cards.

"I think I was about ready to deal you this card," he says as he puts a card down on my queens.

"Darn!" I say. It's a king. "I just needed an ace! See," I turn my other queen over for him to see, "see, I almost won!"

"I think you still have a lot to learn about this game," he says as he takes my cards.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says while he deals the cards.

"Brian, when is everyone coming home?"

"I don't know. Daniel and them were supposed to back by eleven, but with all the snow they'll have to wait for the roads to be plowed."

"What time is it?"

He looks at his watch. "Eleven-thirty."

"They're late!" I cry.

"Because they have to wait for the roads to be plowed. I already told you that." He groans. "Please don't start crying again."

"What if they were already driving when it started to snow and they got in an accident? What if they got lost in the snow?"

Brian picks me up and puts me on the couch and then sits down next to me.

I keep asking questions. "What if the jeep went off the side of the road and they're lying in a ditch somewhere!"

"Oh my God! Heidi! Stop thinking about those things! Nothing bad is going to happen!"

"You don't know that!" I cry.

Brian covers his face with his hands and yells. "Stop crying!" He looks down at me. "Please."

"I can't! Why aren't they home yet? When is Adam coming home?" I cry.

"I don't know! Stop it!"

"We have to go look for them!" I yell as I get up off the couch.

Brian grabs me. "What the heck do you think you're doing!" He yells.

I break away from him and grab his arm and pull on it. "Come on! We have to go find them!" He doesn't get up so I get the flashlight and run to the door.

"Stop!" He yells. I can hear him coming after me and by the time I reach the door he picks me up. "You are not going out there! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of! How are you going to find them?"

"I'm gonna walk on the road and look for the jeep!"

"It's snowing and dark outside! How are you even going to find the road?" He asks.

"I have a flashlight!" I yell and I hold it up. "Brian! What if they're all dead!"

He groans. "Not this again!" He walks back to the couch and sits down with me on his lap. I cry really hard.

"What if Adam dies! What if he dies, Brian?"

Brian hugs me tightly and says, "he's not going to die."

"But he might. I didn't even get to give him his card!" I cry. "I have to give him his card!"

Brian holds me up so I can lay my head on his shoulder and he rubs my back. "What card? What are you talking about?"

"I have to go get it!" I get away from him and pull his arm. "Come with me! I have to get it!"

He gets up and follows me up to my room with the lantern. I open my top dresser drawer and take the card out.

"What's that?" He asks.

"It's a card I made for Adam! I didn't give it to him! I have to give it to him! You have to help me!" I run out of my room.

"Where are you going!" He yells. He runs down the stairs after me.

"I have to give it to him!" I yell as I reach the front door.

He sets the lantern down on the floor and grabs me and picks me up. "I told you! You're not going outside!"

"But I have to give it to him now!" I can't stop crying and I start breathing really fast.

"Calm down!" He walks back over to the couch and sits down with me. "Sh! Calm down, Heidi." He holds me so I can rest my head on his shoulder. I try to calm down but it's hard to do. "You can give it to him when he gets home."

"What time is it?" I ask.

"After midnight."

I cry. "When are they coming home? When? When Brian?"

"Sh. When they can." He rubs my back and rocks me. "Just calm down."

I hold on to the card as tight as I can and cry on Brian's shoulder. I stay that way until I close my eyes and fall asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

"Are they back?" I yell. I sit up fast. I'm laying on the couch and Brian is sitting next to me. He's snoring so I shake him. "Brian are they back yet?" I yell again.

He opens his eyes and looks around. "What?"

"I said, are they back yet?"

"No, not yet. Go back to sleep." He says and he closes his eyes.

"What time is it?" I ask. He doesn't answer me. "Brian! What time is it?" I yell again.

He opens his eyes again and says, "what do you want? Go to sleep." Then he closes his eyes.

"Brian!" I shake him. "Wake up!" I shake him until he opens his eyes again.

"What!" He yells, sitting up a little.

"What time is it?"

"Two o'clock! Go to sleep! Or go do something and let me sleep!" He leans back and closes his eyes.

"Brian! Why isn't anyone home yet! Brian!" I shake him.

"What!" He sits up again and opens his eyes.

"I'm scared! Why aren't they home?" I start to cry.

Brian groans and sits all the way up. "Come here," he says. He picks me up and puts me on his lap. "Sh. Try to go back to sleep."

I sit up straight. "Where's my card?" I look around for it. "Where is it!"

"Relax! I put it right there." He points to the coffee table and I see it's laying next to the cards and M&M's.

I sigh. Then I look up Brian. "Why aren't they back yet?"

"I don't know. Maybe it hasn't stopped snowing yet and they haven't plowed the roads."

"Do you think something bad happened to them?" I ask and I start to cry.

He hugs me closer to him. "Stop thinking about stuff like that. Try to go back to sleep."

"Can we go look for them now?" I ask. I look up at him and he wipes the tears off my cheeks.

"No, we can't. Try to go back to sleep. Just close your eyes," he says quietly.

"My stomach feels funny," I tell him.

"What'd you mean by funny? Are you gonna throw up?" He starts to move me off of him.

"No. It doesn't feel sick." I feel him relax and hug me again. "It feels like something bad is going to happen."

"It sounds like you feel nervous," he says. "I wish you wouldn't worry. Everyone is probably inside somewhere waiting for the roads to be plowed."

"But it's two o'clock! That's late!"

"I know." He puts his hand on the top of my head and smooths my hair back. "Try to go back to sleep."

I reach up and put my arms around his neck and pull myself up so I can lay my head on his shoulder. I wish everyone would come home soon. I close my eyes and try to go to sleep but I can't because I hear a noise. It sounds like a car. I open my eyes.

"They're back!" I yell.

I climb off Brian and run to the door. Brian gets up and follows me with the lantern. I open the door and I can see headlights from a car. We walk out onto the porch. It's cold out here. It's not snowing anymore and the sky is clear. The full moon is bright and it shines on the snow and makes it look like there's glitter everywhere.

"It's the jeep," Brian says.

The jeep stops and my brothers get out. When the headlights go off the moon is bright enough for all of us to see each other and my brothers come running towards the house. Crane is first up to the porch and he picks me up and brings me inside.

"It's cold out there!" He says. "Is the power off here too?" He asks.

"Yeah," Brian says. "It's been off for a while."

"It's out in town too," Daniel says. "We stayed at the community hall to wait for the roads to be plowed. There's a lot of snow out there."

"Where's Adam?" I ask.

"I don't know," Crane says. "They're farther away and they have to wait for the roads to be plowed too."

"Do you think they're waiting in the truck?" I ask.

"I hope not!" Evan says. "They'd probably freeze to death, it's so cold out there!"

"What!" I yell and start crying.

"Evan!" Brian yells.

"I knew something bad was going to happen! I knew it!" I cry.

"What'd I say?" Evan asks.

"She's very worried," Brian says.

"Oh. Sorry Heidi. They wouldn't freeze to death. I was just kidding around," Evan says.

"Yeah," Ford says. "That wouldn't happen."

"Guthrie, go get ready for bed," Brian says.

I look down at Guthrie and he looks tired. No wonder he's so quiet. He walks over to his bed and lays down on it.

"I think he's out," Crane says. They laugh a little.

Evan, Ford and Daniel go upstairs with the lantern. Crane walks to the couch and sits down with me.

"Why aren't they back yet?" I ask.

"I'm sure they're driving here right now," he says.

"Can we get in the jeep and go look for them Brian?" I ask. "Please?"

"No," he says. "They'll be here soon."

"What if they need our help?" I ask.

"Sh," Crane says. "Go to sleep and they'll be here when you wake up." I am really tired. "Lay down," Crane says as he moves me off his lap and lays me down on the couch.

"Can you give me that?" I ask, pointing to the card on the coffee table.

"What? This?" Crane asks while he picks the card up. "What's this?"

"It's something I made for Adam," I tell him.

He hands it to me and I set it on the couch right next to me and lay on my side. I put my hand on top of the card and Crane covers me up with a blanket. He starts singing softly and I close my eyes.

* * *

I wake up because I hear Brian snoring. I open my eyes. The card is still next to me and I sit up really fast. Are they back yet? It looks like it's starting to get light outside and it's freezing cold in here. The fire must've gone out.

I get up off the couch and pick up the card. I run as fast as I can upstairs and into Adam and Hannah's bedroom. They're not here! I start crying and I climb into their bed. I look at the clock. 5:15. Why aren't they here? Why? I lay on my side and curl up into a tiny ball. I hold the card in my hand as tight as I can and hold it close to my chest. I'm holding onto it so tight the card crumples in my hand. I lay that way and cry while gently rocking myself back and forth.

* * *

I wake up when I hear talking downstairs and the front door close. I sit up and listen. It's Adam's voice! I get out of his bed and walk to the doorway to listen.

"The truck died on us just past Angeles Camp," Adam says. "We were stopped in the middle of the road for about an hour before the Sherif finally came."

I knew something bad had happened! I bet they would've frozen to death!

"Where's the truck now?" Brian asks.

"We had it towed to Dave's."

"We can't afford that," Crane says. "Why couldn't you guys just push it to the side of the road?"

"There was no side of the road. The snow plows just plowed the road, they haven't plowed the sides yet," Adam tells him. "Anyways, the Sherif took us back to the station and we would've called but the phones lines are down too. We stayed the rest of the night at the station until the Sherif could drop us off here."

"Well, you've got one little girl who's been worried sick about you all night." Brian says.

I step away from the doorway and back into the bedroom so no one can see me.

"She was sleeping down here on the couch, but she must've gone up to her room sometime during the night," Brian tells him.

"I had a feeling she might be worried," Adam says.

"Why don't we get out of these clothes Adam," Hannah says, "and then you can go see if she's awake."

"Good idea," he says. "I've been dying to get out of these dress clothes!"

I run back to their bed and climb back in. I get my card and hold it in my hand again and pull the covers up over my shoulders and close my eyes. I can hear them coming upstairs. Then they're in the hallway and now they're in here.

"Sh," Hannah says. "She's asleep."

"No I'm not!" I say. I don't move I just open my eyes.

"Hey," Adam says quietly as he walks over to me. He sits on the edge of the bed near me and starts to put his hand on my head.

I jump up and let go of my card and push him away. He doesn't move because I'm not strong enough to actually push him off.

"You said nothing bad would happen!" I yell. "You were wrong!" I start crying.

"Hey," he says again and tries to hug me.

"No!" I yell and I push him again.

"Heidi calm down," he says quietly.

Hannah puts her robe on over her dress and takes her high-heels off and puts her slippers on. She walks over to Adam and puts her hand on his shoulder. "I'll be downstairs," she says and then she walks out the door.

Adam stares at me and takes his jacket off and lays it on the bed. His tie is already undone and hanging from his neck and the top two buttons on his shirt are unbuttoned. "Heidi, talk to me. Why are you so upset?" He doesn't touch me, instead he just sits by me.

"You said nothing bad would happen and it did! You lied to me!"

"Nothing bad happened," he says quietly.

"Yes it did! You could've froze to death!" I yell.

"No we wouldn't have," he says.

I lay back down on the bed on my side and pull the covers up over my head and cry.

He rubs my back and says, "Heidi, what's wrong? I don't know why you're so mad. All I want to do is give you a hug. Please look at me. I don't understand."

I cry really hard and say, "I don't want you to die!"

"I'm not dead. I'm sitting right here. Would you please sit up and look at me? Please?"

"No! You could've died and I didn't even get a chance to tell you!"

"Tell me what? What are you talking about?" He asks.

I just keep crying and he keeps rubbing my back.

"I don't care what you say or how hard you try to push me away. I'm going to hug you," he says as he lifts me up.

"No!" I yell. I try to get away and the card falls onto the floor. He's stronger than me so it doesn't take him long before he's got me on his lap and he's holding me. I cry really hard and reach up and put my arms around his neck and pull myself up so I can hug him. He hugs me really tight.

"What's wrong?" He asks. "I wish you would tell me."

"I can't!" I cry.

"Why not? You know you can tell me anything, don't you?"

"This is too hard!"

"Why? What's so hard about it that you can't tell me?" He asks.

"I don't know if you'll like it."

"Why wouldn't I like it?"

I lean back a little so I can look into his eyes and say, "because you don't like it when everyone else says it."

He smiles at me. "How do you know I won't like it if you don't tell me?"

"I'm scared to."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid you won't like me anymore if I tell you. You might be mad or you might laugh at me."

"Heidi, I think I might already know what you want to tell me," he says.

"You do?"

"I think so. But I won't know for sure unless you tell me." He smiles at me. "If it's what you've been talking about with Brian, Crane and Hannah the last few days, I won't be mad and I won't laugh about it."

"I'm still afraid to tell you." I lay my head on his shoulder again.

"That's ok. You don't have to tell me. But Heidi, if you ever do want to tell me, I'll listen." He hugs me really tight and says, "I love you Heidi. I always have and I always will."

"Even when I do bad things?" I ask.

He laughs. "Yes, even when you do bad things."

We hug each other for a long time until he asks, "is that a card laying on the floor? It looks like it has my name on it."

I lean back so I can look at him. "Yes. I made it at school for you."

"Can I open it?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know if you'll like it."

"Why wouldn't I like it?"

"Because it says something in it that I don't think you'll like."

"I would love to open it," he says.

I get down off his lap and pick up the card. "It's ruined," I say sadly.

"What are you talking about?" He says.

"It's all wrinkled where I was holding it!" I start to cry again.

He pulls on my arm so I'm standing next to him and he hugs me. "It's ok. I don't think it's ruined. Can I see it?"

He stops hugging me and I look at the card I'm holding in my hand. I want to give it to him, but I also don't want to. I start to hand it to him and he starts to take it but I pull it away.

"It's ok," he says.

I look down at the floor and hand it to him.

"Look at me," he says.

I shake my head no back and forth really fast.

"Do you want me to open it?" He asks.

I keep staring at the floor for a while until I very slowly nod my head. I hear him open the envelope and I cover my face with my hands.

"Heidi, I don't have to open it if you don't want me to. Do you still want me to open it?"

I keep my face covered and nod my head. I hear him take the card out.

"I like the picture of the snowman," he says. Then I hear him open the card and he reads out loud, "to the best big brother...,"

"No!" I yell. "You have to read it to yourself!"

"Ok," he says and then he's quiet. "Heidi? I love it."

I look up at him and say, "you do?"

He smiles at me. "I love it," he says again.

I smile up at him and he hugs me. "You're not mad?" I ask him.

"No. I love being your dad," he says quietly.

"You do?" I ask.

"Yes. I always have." He hugs me tight and then lets go. "Look at me," he says.

I look up at him and it looks like he's crying. "Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?"

He smiles. "No, you didn't do anything wrong."

I reach up and wipe a tear away that rolls down his cheek. "Are you sad?" I ask.

"No. These are happy tears Heidi." He says as I wipe another tear away.

"Why are you crying if you're happy?" I ask.

"Sometimes people cry when they're happy. And Heidi? I'm really, really happy. I love you and I'm so happy you made this card for me."

I smile and close the card while he's still holding it. "It was hard to make the snowman with my left hand."

"Well, you did a good job." He opens the card.

"Sorry the letters are so messy, but I wrote it all by myself," I tell him.

"I don't care if it's messy. I love the heart you drew also."

"Close the card and look at the back," I say.

He does and he laughs. He points to the tall person and says, "let me guess, that's me?"

I laugh and say, "yes."

"And that's you?" He asks, pointing to the little girl.

"Yes. And look," I say pointing to our hands, "we're holding hands!"

"I like that!" He says, pulling me close to him to hug me.

I hug him back. "Adam? Did you always know you were my dad?"

"Yes," he says.

"How come you never told me?"

"I was waiting for you to be ready."

"Am I ready?"

He laughs. "Yes, I think you're ready!"

"Are you still crying?" I ask.

"No."

"Are you still happy?"

"Yes I'm still happy!" He says and he gives me a big bear hug and it makes me laugh.

"Do you like the card?"

"I love the card! In fact," he stops hugging me and stands up, "I love it so much I'm going to put it up here!" He walks over to his dresser and stands the card up on top of it. "There. Now I can look at it every day!"

I smile. I'm so happy he likes the card and I'm so happy he likes being my Dad. "Adam?" I ask.

He turns around and looks at me.

"Can I tell other people you're my dad?" I ask. I'm not sure if he'll like that.

He smiles at me. "You can tell anybody you want to. You can tell them I'm your dad, you can tell them I'm your brother, or you can tell them I'm both!"

I run to him and hug him. "Can I call you Dad?"

"Only if you want to," he says.

"I think that might be too weird. I think I'll still call you Adam."

"That's ok Heidi. I'm happy for you to call me Adam. Just knowing you think of me as your dad makes me very happy!"

We hug each other and I start to smell bacon. It smells so good.

"Mmm. It smells like someone is making breakfast," I say.

"Are you hungry?" Adam asks and looks down at me.

"Yes," I say looking up at him.

"Why don't you go get some breakfast. I'm going to change and I'll be down in a minute."

I run out into the hallway and run right smack into Crane.

"Watch where you're going!" He says as he picks me up and smiles at me.

"Guess what Crane!"

"What!" He says while laughing.

"Adam's my Dad!"

"I know!" He says. He kisses my forehead and swings me down. "Brian's making breakfast. Why don't you go help him."

"Ok!" I say and I run downstairs. Hannah's at the bottom step ready to go up.

"Can I go get dressed now?" She asks while smiling down at me.

I nod and say, "Adam's my dad!"

She smiles bigger. "I'm glad," she says.

I run past her and into the kitchen. Brian is over at the stove cooking bacon and pancakes. I get a chair and drag it over to the stove. I stand on top of it.

"Want to know a secret Brian?"

"Always," he says.

He leans down a little and I step on my tippy toes. "Adam's my Dad!" I whisper into his ear.

He whispers into my ear now. "I know. I told you so!" Then he stands up straight and starts cooking again.

"You remember telling me that in the hospital?" I ask. I'm surprised. I thought he was asleep.

"Yep."

I jump down off the chair and say, "now I have to go tell everyone else! Do you know where Guthrie is?"

"I think he's upstairs."

"Thanks!" I run out of the kitchen and back upstairs to the boy's room. Their door's open so I run in.

"Guess what! Guess what!" I yell.

Daniel, Evan, and Ford look at me. "What?" They ask. "What are you so excited about?"

"Adam's my Dad!"

They laugh. "Good for you!" Daniel says.

"You guys knew?" I ask.

"Yes," Evan says.

"Where's Guthrie? I have to tell Guthrie!"

"Calm down!" They laugh.

Crane walks into the bedroom and says, "Guthrie's outside doing his chores. He should be back pretty soon."

I can hear them laughing as I race out of the room and back downstairs. The front door opens and Guthrie walks inside.

"Guthrie, guess what!"

"What?" He asks while he shuts the door and takes his jacket off.

"Adam's my Dad!" I yell smiling at him.

He looks at me. "No he's not," he says.

"Yes he is!" I say excitedly. "He really is!"

"No he's not!" Guthrie yells.

I stop smiling. "Yes he is," I say quietly.

"Stop saying that! He's not!"

He's starting to make me mad! "Yes he is!" I shout.

"No he's not! He's your brother!" Guthrie looks really mad.

"And he's my dad!" I shout.

"Stop saying that!" He yells and then he pushes me really hard so I fall backwards against the stair banister and hit my head on it before falling to the floor.


	14. Chapter 14

"Ow! That hurt!" I start crying because it hurt, but I'm also really mad! I get up and charge at him. I try to push him down but he's trying to push me too and he's stronger so I fall down again. "Stop pushing me!" I yell.

"Stop saying Adam's your Dad! He's not! He's your brother!"

I get up and charge at him again only this time I punch him. It's not a very hard punch because it's with my left hand. He punches me back right in the nose and it hurts so I scream. I try to push him again and I hear Adam yelling as he's running down the steps.

"Hey! Stop it!" I feel him pick me up and I see Crane pull Guthrie back. Everyone's in the living room now.

"What are you two doing!" Adam yells.

I wipe my nose with my sleeve and see blood. My nose hurts and my head hurts from being pushed into the banister. I cry and yell, "he pushed me!"

"She keeps saying you're her dad, Adam!" Guthrie yells. "Tell her to stop!"

"No!" I yell. "I'm not gonna stop!"

Guthrie lunges towards me but Crane holds him back. "Tell her to stop!" He yells and then he starts crying.

"Guthrie," Adam says quietly, and he doesn't get to say anything else because Guthrie yells at him.

"Don't!" Guthrie yells. "Don't say it!" Then he looks at me. "I hate you Heidi! I hate you!" Then he opens the door and runs out.

"Guthrie!" Adam yells. He puts me down and grabs his jacket and Guthrie's and runs out after him.

"Come on Heidi," Hannah says, "let's go into the kitchen so I can look at your nose."

I can't stop crying. Crane picks me up and carries me into the kitchen. He sets me on top of the table.

"Why did Guthrie say that? Why?" I cry.

Everyone is in the kitchen and they just stand around looking at each other and saying nothing. Hannah dabs at my nose with a towel. I pull my head back because it hurts.

"Hold still," she says.

"It hurts. Why did Guthrie say that?" I ask again. "Why aren't any of you talking to me? You're making me mad!"

"We don't want to make you mad Heidi," Crane says. "It's just that it's a long story and right now might not be the best time to tell it."

"Why not! Ow Hannah! Stop it!" I pull my head away again.

"Hold still!" She says.

"No! Just give me the stupid towel! I know what to do with a bloody nose!" I grab the towel out of her hand and hold it on my nose.

"Heidi, that was rude," Crane says.

"I don't care! You guys aren't talking to me and Guthrie says he hates me!" I cry.

Crane picks me up off the table and carries me into the living room. He sits in the big comfy chair and holds me.

"Crane? Why does Guthrie hate me?" I ask him.

"He doesn't hate you. He's just confused right now."

"Why? Why'd he hit me too? He never hits me unless I don't stop hitting him first."

"Heidi, he's really confused right now about you telling him Adam's your dad."

"Why?" I ask.

Crane sighs. "It's complicated Heidi, and it's hard to explain. Maybe we can all talk about it tonight."

"I want to know now."

"I know you do, but this isn't the time," he says.

"Crane, I don't like it when Guthrie says he hates me. He also hurt me. My head hurts right here," I say and I touch the place on my head where I hit the banister and it feels wet. "Why's it wet?" I ask. I look at my hand and there's blood on it.

Crane looks at my head and says, "it's bleeding, Heidi. Let's let Hannah take a look at it."

"No! No way! She'll want to put that stinging stuff on it!" I take the towel off my nose and wipe my head with it. "Ow!" That hurts.

"At least let _me_ look at it," he says.

I let him look and he says, "yeah, we should let Hannah look at it. It's pretty messy."

"No! Just 'cause she's here now doesn't mean she has to look at every cut! You clean it! You guys used to do that all the time, remember? Please?"

He sighs. "Let's go upstairs and clean it in the bathroom." So I get up and we walk upstairs together.

* * *

"Ow! Crane, you're hurting me!" I yell and I turn my head away and back up.

"If you want me to clean it you have to stand still," he says.

"But it hurts!"

"I can have Hannah come up here and help."

"No!" I try to stand still. "Crane, please tell me why Guthrie's mad at me."

"He's not mad at you Heidi. He's just confused right now. It's hard for him. He's always felt sad that he can't remember mom and dad."

"I can't remember them and I don't feel sad," I say.

"Guthrie was two when they died and he thinks he should remember them. It makes him really sad that he can't. Sometimes he gets angry that he can't remember them. I think that's what's happening now."

"Why?"

"Because it's hard for him to think about Adam being his dad. He knows he is but it's still hard for him. He hears us talk about mom and dad and he feels left out because he doesn't have those memories or any memories," Crane says. "He's really not mad at you Heidi. He's just confused right now."

"I don't understand. He sure seems like he's mad at me. He hit me, and he hasn't hit me first in a long time. He also said he hates me."

"I know," Crane says. "It's confusing. Let's talk about it later. Adam's talking to Guthrie and when they come back inside I'm sure Guthrie will feel better and he'll say he's sorry to you." He dabs my head more with a wet washcloth and says, "there. I think it's all clean."

"Thanks. Crane, is today a snow day?" I ask.

"Yes. All the schools are closed."

"Do you think Guthrie will play with me?"

"You'll just have to wait and see. Let's go eat breakfast now. I don't know about you but I'm hungry!"

We walk downstairs together and into the kitchen.

* * *

Everyone is in the kitchen for breakfast which doesn't happen a whole lot. Even Guthrie and Adam are back inside. They must've finished talking. I look across the table at Guthrie but he doesn't look at me. He looks really sad and that makes me feel sad too.

"What's everyone going to do today?" Adam asks.

I stand up to reach across the table for a blueberry muffin and say, "I can tell you what I'm NOT doing today! Schoolwork!"

My brothers laugh at that except for Adam and Hannah doesn't laugh either.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that Heidi. Why were you writing about your 'worst' Christmas ever, yesterday?" Adam asks.

I sit down and glare at Hannah.

"You can tell me after breakfast," he says, so I keep glaring at Hannah, but she's not looking at me.

I listen to what everyone's gonna do today while I wonder if Guthrie's gonna play with me. Adam and Crane say they're going into town to get the truck. They also say they're going to take Hannah into town because she has to work today.

"Yes!" I say. Oops, I didn't mean to say that out loud. Some of my brothers laugh a little at that but not Adam. I know he's glaring at me because I peek down at him.

Brian and Daniel have work to do around the ranch which means that just leaves me, Evan, Ford and Guthrie. Yes! This is gonna be a fun day!

When we start to clear the table off Hannah asks Ford, Evan, Guthrie and me to do the dishes. I haven't had to help with the dishes since I've had my cast on.

"I can't really help because I only have one hand," I tell her.

"You can help put the dishes away," she says.

I smile at her and say, "ok. But don't blame me if I accidentally drop one."

"Get over here!" Adam says.

I start to ask why like I always do when he tells me to do that, but I decide I better not so I walk over to him.

"Follow me," he says.

I follow him into the living room and he walks over to the desk and picks up the schoolwork Hannah made me do yesterday. Then he tells me to sit on the couch while he sits on the coffee table in front of me. I hate it when he does that. Usually that means he's gonna yell at me.

"How come you can't sit on the couch next to me?" I ask.

"Because I want you to look at me."

"I can look at you if you sit on the couch."

He glares at me and I can tell that conversation is over. He holds up the writing paper so I can see it.

"Why did you cross out the word 'favorite' and write the word 'worst'?"

"Because I didn't feel like writing about my favorite Christmas. I felt like writing about my worst Christmas."

He glares at me. "Hannah says you were very difficult for her yesterday."

"No I wasn't! She was just being mean to me."

"What do you mean by that?" He asks.

"She was making me do stuff I didn't want to do!"

"Like what!" He yells. "Cleaning up a mess you made in the kitchen?"

That doesn't sound very good. "Yes?" I ask hoping that's a good answer.

"Why do you do things like that!" He yells.

I start crying. "You don't have to yell at me!"

He sighs and says calmer, "Heidi, stop crying and listen to me."

"Ok," I say as I wipe my eyes.

"Can you please cooperate with Hannah when she asks you to do something? Please? For me?"

I look at him and I feel sad. I was rude to Hannah yesterday. "Ok," I say sadly. But then I think about how she tells on me all the time. "How'd you know I was difficult yesterday?" I ask.

"She told me."

I glare at him a little bit and fold my arms across my chest and say, "ok, I'll try to be nicer to her. But only for you. And I can't make any promises."

He smiles a little bit and says, "thank you. I'd like you to apologize to her too."

"Is she gonna apologize to me?" I ask. I think I just made him mad again because his smile fades.

"For what?" He asks, in his serious voice.

"For being mean to me and especially for telling on me."

"Do you ever listen to anything I say!" He yells.

"Ok, ok! I'll apologize! I'm sorry!"

"Good," he says calmer. "Now tell me about this math paper."

"What about it?" I ask slowly.

"Who helped you with it?"

"No one," I say, hoping he'll believe me.

"There's no scratch work on this paper. You expect me to believe no one told you the answers."

I stare at him for a while and then ask, "yes?"

"Well, I don't!"

"Why not? I know them now. I have them all memorized," I tell him.

"Ok. What's six times seven?"

Well I didn't think he was gonna do that! "Um, thirty-six?" I ask.

"No," he says while glaring at me.

"Twenty-eight?" I ask.

"No. You're not even close."

"Well I guess I just don't remember that one."

"Ok," he says, "what's eight times six?"

I sigh. "Forty-four?"

"No!"

"Well you're asking me all the hard ones!" I yell.

"You said you knew them all! You said you had them memorized!" He yells.

"I did! Yesterday!"

"Who helped you! And you better not say nobody helped you!"

"Ok," I cry. "Guthrie helped me."

Adam sighs and calms down. "Heidi, you're never going to learn these if you keep having someone do them for you. I think we need to get the flash cards out again."

I cry. "I don't like those!"

"I know," he says softly. "Come here."

I stand up and he hugs me.

"Can you please be nicer to Hannah for me?" He asks.

"Ok. I'll try."

"Heidi?"

"What?"

"Why is there blood in your hair?"

I pull away and touch my head where I hit it on the banister. It feels wet again. "I don't know," I say. "Crane cleaned it really good. I guess it's not done bleeding yet."

"Let's let Hannah take a look at it."

"No! She'll put that stinging stuff on it! Can't _you_ just clean it? Please?"

"Ok. But if it starts bleeding again after I clean it, we're going to have Hannah look at it. It might need stitches."

"I'm not letting her sew my head! Can't we just put a band-aid on it?"

"On your hair?" He says while smiling at me. "No. Besides, Hannah wouldn't stitch it, we'd take you to the clinic. Come on, let's go upstairs.

* * *

While Adam's cleaning my cut or whatever it is, I ask him about Guthrie.

"Why is Guthrie mad at me?"

"I don't think he's mad at you."

"Then why'd he push me?"

"He's mad that he can't remember his Dad," he says while he cleans the blood off my hair.

"Ow!" I yell as I pull my head away. "But aren't you his Dad too?"

"Yes," he says as he holds my head almost in a head lock so I can't pull away. "But sometimes Guthrie has a hard time thinking about that. When you started telling him I was your Dad, it brought up some feelings for him."

I try to get away from him when he touches my cut, but he's stronger. "What kind of feelings?"

"He feels sad his parents are dead, and he feels mad his parents are dead. All of us feel that way."

"How come I don't feel that way?"

"I think you do sometimes. Were you a little sad when you looked at the Christmas ornament mom made for you?" He asks.

I think about that for a minute. I remember thinking about her touching it. "I guess I did feel a little sad."

"Well, Guthrie wishes he could remember them so bad that he gets angry at himself when he can't."

"That's sad," I say. "Adam? Do you think Guthrie will play with me today?"

"I hope so. Just give him a little bit of time and I think he'll feel better, ok?"

"Ok," I say.

"Good. All done," he says letting go of me. "Remember, if it starts bleeding again you need to tell me."

"Ok."

"I mean it." He says that in his serious voice.

I look up at him. "Ok."

"Good. Go get dressed."

"I'm gonna wear this. I like wearing my thermal pajamas under my snow clothes," I tell him.

"Ok, let's get that cast covered up with a plastic bag, " he says, and we go downstairs.

* * *

When I've got all my snow clothes on I go sit on the couch next to Guthrie.

"Are you mad at me Guthrie?" I ask.

He doesn't answer for a while and then he says, "no. I'm sorry for pushing you and hitting you."

"Are you sad?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Do you want to go outside and play with me? Maybe then you won't be sad anymore."

"I guess so." He gets up to get his snow clothes on.

Adam, Crane and Hannah are ready to go into town and as Adam walks out the door he says, "don't get that cast wet."

"I won't," I say smiling at him.

* * *

Guthrie's still sad when we go out to play.

"What do you want to do?" I ask him.

He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't care."

"Do you want to build a snowman?" I ask. "Hey! We could make a whole snowman family!"

"No," he says.

"Do you want to have a snowball fight?"

"No."

I sigh. "How about building an igloo?" I ask.

"No."

"Come on Guthrie, please play with me."

He just stands there looking sad. I sigh again. "Do you want me to go away and play with Evan and Ford?"

"No," he says.

That's good. I look around at all the snow outside. There's gotta be something he'll want to do. I look at the barn and I get an idea.

"We could jump out of the loft door down into the snow," I suggest.

He laughs a little bit. "That would be fun."

We run over to the barn which is really hard to do in the snow. When we get there we look around to make sure nobody's here.

"Let's go make sure there's enough snow to jump into," Guthrie says.

We walk around the barn and look underneath the loft door. "It looks like enough snow to me," I say while I jump in it.

"Yep," Guthrie says. "Let's go do it."

We run into the barn and climb the ladder up to the loft. When we look out the door and down to the snow beneath it we look at each other.

"It looks like it's a long way down," I say.

"Are you saying you're _scared_ to jump?" Guthrie asks while he smiles at me.

"No!" I yell. "I'm not scared!" That's really a lie though. "Can we jump together?" I ask.

"Ok. Are you ready?"

I don't say anything. I'm scared. I don't know if I want to do this, but I don't want Guthrie to think I'm chicken. "Ok, I'm ready."

"On the count of three," he says. "One, two..., three!"

We both jump and yell on the way down. I fall hard on my knees and my face lands in the snow. I start to cry and I push myself up so I'm sitting in the snow and I look over at Guthrie. He looks like he might cry too.

"That hurt!" I cry.

"I know," he says. "I landed on my knees."

"Me too!" My whole body hurts. "Do you think there wasn't enough snow to fall into?"

"What the heck are you guys doing!" Brian yells. He's running over to us.

When he gets here we stare at him.

"We're just sitting in the snow," I say as I try to stop crying.

"Oh yeah? Is that why I saw you jump out from the loft?" He yells.

"You saw that?" Guthrie asks.

"Yes! Don't do that anymore!" He yells.

"You did it when you were little!" I yell back.

"I know! And it hurts doesn't it?"

We both nod our heads.

"And I was told not to do it anymore either, just like I'm telling you now! It's dangerous!" Then he yells, "are you guys ok?"

"Yes," we both say.

"Good! Now go play something else! Don't do anything dangerous!" He yells and then he starts to walk away. He stops and turns around and yells, "and if you have to ask yourself if it's dangerous, IT IS!" Then he walks away.

Guthrie and I look at each other and smile. Then we start laughing. "What do you want to do now?" I ask.

"Let's have a snowball fight!" He yells and he picks up some snow and throws it at me.

* * *

We spend the rest of the morning playing around in the snow. Guthrie is his usual self now so we're both happy. We're making a snowman family when Evan and Ford walk by and tell us it's time for lunch.

"Did you make a good sled run?" I ask them.

"Yeah, you guys are gonna love it. It's got five bumps in it and two are close together so you'll fly up in the air and when you come down you'll go right back up again," Ford says.

That sounds like fun. We follow them inside and take our snow clothes off. Daniel's in the kitchen making lunch and we help. When the phone rings I run to answer it.

"Hello," I say.

"Hello, is Evan there?" A girl's voice says.

"Yes, who's this?" I ask.

"Becky."

Yuck! I tell Evan the phone's for him and I tell him it's Becky. He smiles really big and takes the phone from me. Daniel walks over to listen.

"Hi Becky!" Evan says. He's smiling and he sounds really happy. He's quiet while he listens and then his smile fades. "Ok," he says. After a little while he says, "ok, that's ok. Bye." He hangs up the phone and looks really sad.

"What'd she want?" I ask.

"She broke her date with me. She told me she's going to the Christmas party with someone else." He sits down at the table.

"Sorry Evan," Ford says. "I know you liked her a lot."

"Yeah, sorry Evan," Daniel says. "That wasn't very nice of her. If you want, I'll cancel my date with her."

"No, that's ok. You should still go out with her."

"No. I'm gonna call her now and break our date! I don't want to go out with a girl like that!" Daniel says. He walks over to the phone just as it rings.

"Let me get it! Let me get it!" I yell and I push Daniel out of the way and pick up the phone. "Hello?" I say.

"Hi, is Daniel there?" It sounds like Becky again.

"Yes he's here! What are you gonna do, break your date with him too?" I yell at her. Daniel tries to take the phone out of my hand but I get to say one last thing before he has it.

"You're a mean girl! If I could swear I would call you a name that starts with a B!" And then Daniel has the phone.

Ford and Guthrie laugh at me and then we listen to Daniel.

"Becky, you're not the kind of girl I want to go out with." He's quiet for a little bit and then says, "that's fine. I was just going to call you to break the date anyway." There's a pause and then he says, "yeah, bye." He hangs up the phone and says, "what a b***h!"

We all laugh except for Evan. Daniel sits down at the table next to Evan. "I'm sorry Evan. I guess we should've listened to Crane and Adam and Brian."

"Listened to Brian about what?" Brian asks walking into the kitchen.

"That girl they like, Becky, called and broke her dates with Evan and Daniel!" I yell excitedly. "And Daniel called her a B***h!"

Everyone looks at me when I say that and this time everyone laughs, even Evan and Brian. But then Brian says to me, "watch your mouth." But he's smiling so I laugh.

"We told you that girl was bad news," Brian says.

"I know," Daniel says. "We should've listened to you." Then Daniel asks Evan, "are you ok?"

"I will be. She really is a B***h, isn't she?"

Everyone laughs again.

"Ok, enough of that word!" Brian says. "Let's eat, I gotta lot of work to do."

We talk more about Becky and how mean she is and I think Evan is starting to feel better because he's laughing. We finish our lunch and Guthrie and I get our snow clothes on so we can go sledding.

* * *

The sled run looks fun. I start climbing up the hill and Ford says, "are you sure you're supposed to go sledding with your cast on?"

I think about that for a minute and then I shrug my shoulders. "Nobody told me I couldn't. Adam just said not to get my cast wet."

Ford and Evan look at each other. "We're not gonna get in trouble if we let her do this, are we?" They ask each other.

"We shouldn't," Evan says. "She's ten, she can do what she wants to right?"

"I guess so," Ford says, but he doesn't sound too happy about that.

"Ok," Evan says.

I'm glad they decided I could go sledding because I'm at the top of the hill. I pick up the saucer and sit down on it. "Push me Evan!" He pushes me hard and I start flying down. This run is great! Here comes the first bump. I fly up and get a little bit of air. Not the best bump, but it's ok. I can see the two bumps that are coming up are the ones close together. I fly up on the first one and when I come back down I fly up on the second one and do half a backwards flip and land on my head.

"Ow!" I yell. But then I sit up and laugh.

"Are you ok?" Evan yells down at me.

"Yeah! That was fun!" I pick up the saucer and climb back up to the top. I watch my brothers slide down and Guthrie gets some good air but not as much as me.

When I get to the top Guthrie yells up to me, "when you get to the third bump try to flip yourself all the way around in the air this time to see if you can land right."

"Ok!" I yell. I sit down and push myself down with my hands. When I get to the third bump I try to flip all the way around but I can't do it. I fall on my head again.

"That was better!" Guthrie yells.

I'm gonna keep trying until I get it! We all four slide down a lot until Ford says they're supposed to go back to help Brian and Daniel.

"Come back before it gets dark," Ford reminds us. "Or when you get cold."

"We know!" We both yell at him.

They walk off and Guthrie and I sled down some more.

"Give me a big push this time!" I yell.

"Ok," he says and he puts his hands on my back. "Heidi? Your head is bleeding."

"That's ok. That's from this morning when you pushed me."

"Sorry. Um, Heidi? It looks like a lot of blood," he says.

"It just needs to be cleaned again. I'll tell Adam tonight. Push me!"

He gives me a big push and I slide down really fast. When I get to the third bump I try really hard to do a full flip. I've been getting really close. I fly up in the air and flip. I land right side up! I'm still on the sled run so I keep sliding down.

"You did it!" Guthrie yells.

"I know!" I hit the next bump and fly up high and land in the snow on the side of the sled run. That was fun! I take my jacket off because I'm getting hot and climb back up the hill.

The next time I go down I can't do the flip and I land on my head again. It's starting to hurt. I keep trying to do the flip again but I can't. After a while it starts to get dark.

"We should start going home now," Guthrie says.

"Yeah, my head hurts and the bag over my cast is ripped," I tell him.

We get our jackets and start walking home.

* * *

When we get close to home I see Crane get out of the truck and Hannah and Adam get out of the jeep.

"They're back!" I run up to Adam and give him a hug.

He hugs me back and says, "look at you! Your cheeks are pink, your lips are blue, and your hair is all messed up! Did you have fun in the snow today?"

"Yes!" I take his hand and walk back to the house with him and Hannah. "I did a flip in the air! The bag over my cast ripped but I didn't get my cast wet and me and Guthrie made a snowman family! See, it's over there!" I point to the three snowmen by the house.

"What do you mean you did a flip in the air?" He asks.

"I flew up real high in the air and did a flip and landed back on the sled run! It was so much fun!"

"Why are you going sledding with a cast on?" He says. He sounds a little mad and I let go of his hand and look up at him because he stops walking.

"It was fun," I say.

"This is one of those times when you should be thinking about what you're doing before you do it," he says.

I sigh. "I did think about it. I thought...," I say but he cuts me off.

"You'd better think about what you're gonna say before you say it." He says in his serious voice.

I think. "I was gonna say I did think about it. I thought it would be fun to do. Is that the wrong answer?" I ask.

"Yes. Think again."

"It's too hard!"

He picks me up and we start walking back to the house. "Think," he says, "what could go wrong if you went sledding?"

"I could get hurt," I say.

"Right, but what don't we want to get hurt?"

I think for a while. "My head?" I ask.

"What else?"

"My cast," I say.

"Not your cast, but your wrist."

"Oh. So it doesn't break again."

"Right," he says.

"Guess what?" I ask.

"What."

"Becky broke her date with Evan _and_ her date with Daniel! Evan was sad and Daniel called her a," I look over at Hannah and then whisper the B word in Adam's ear.

Adam looks at me. "He said that?"

"Yep! Because that's what she is!"

"Ok, that's enough of that."

He sets me down after we walk through the door and we all take our jackets off and Guthrie and I take our snow clothes off.

"Let me see your head," Adam says.

"Why?" I ask. I'm on the floor trying to take my boots off.

"It looks like it's bleeding," he says kneeling down.

"Well, it's not!" I say trying to stand up really quickly which is hard to do with a boot half way off. I try to walk away.

"Get back over here," Adam says as he grabs me.

"Uh-uh, your gonna have Hannah put that stinging stuff on it!" I try to get away.

He stands up with me and carries me into the kitchen and sets me on top of the kitchen table.

"Why do you guys always put me up here?" I ask while glaring at Adam.

He smiles at me and says, "because you're so little. It's easier to see what's wrong up here instead of having to lean down and look."

Hannah walks over with a wet rag. She starts looking at my head and wiping the blood off.

"Ow!" I yell I try to move out of the way.

"Hold still," she says.

Adam leans against the table and puts his arm around my waist to hold me still. Hannah looks at the cut.

"Is it bad? I'm I gonna get stitches?"

"No," she laughs. "It looks like you probably just scratched it when you were landing on your head all day."

"I didn't land on it all day. Just when we were sledding. When we jumped out of the loft I landed on my knees," I tell her.

"What!" Adam says.

I look up at him. "What?"

"What did you just say?" He asks.

"I didn't say anything," I tell him.

"Yes you did! You said you jumped out of the loft!"

"Why do you always ask me questions you already know the answers to? It kind of makes me mad."

Hannah puts the stinging stuff on a cotton ball and reaches for my cut. I start squirming and Adam yells, "hold still!"

"Ow!" I yell.

"Just leave your head alone now," Hannah says. "Don't scratch it and don't land on it anymore, ok?"

"Ok."

"Guthrie!" Adam yells.

"What?" Guthrie asks when he runs into the kitchen.

"Did you and Heidi jump out of the loft today?"

Guthrie looks at me and Adam says, "don't look at her. Look at me!"

He nods his head.

"What are you trying to do? Break your necks?"

"No!" I yell. "Why would we try to do that?"

"Didn't you think about that? Didn't you think about how dangerous that would be?"

While Adam looks down at me, I look at Guthrie and he puts his finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet and he glares at me. I hate it when he does that.

"No we didn't think about that," I tell Adam when I look up at him. "If we thought of that we wouldn't have done it!"

"Heidi!" Guthrie yells.

"What? It's true!"

Adam stops leaning on the table and turns around and looks at me. "Do I need to have someone babysit you all day long or are you ever going to start thinking about what could go wrong when you do something that might be dangerous?"

"No to the first question and yes to the second question?" I ask because I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say to that. "Are you asking that question for real, or is it one of those questions I'm not supposed to answer?"

I'm looking at him waiting for him to answer and he just looks at me. I can't tell if he's mad. Maybe he's kind of tired because he starts rubbing his forehead with his hand. Usually he does that when he's yelling at me and Guthrie.

"Are you mad Adam?" I ask. "Adam?" He just keeps staring at me. I think he's thinking.

"Don't ever jump from the loft again," he says in his real serious voice.

"Ok," I say quietly.

"Do not go sledding while you have a cast on," he says.

"Ok."

He doesn't say anything after that but he keeps on staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm thinking," he says while still staring at me.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask.

He stares at me some more and then says, "I'm trying to think of things to tell you not to do so you don't do any more dangerous stuff."

"Oh."

"I think you need a babysitter," he says.

"What!" I yell. "I'm ten!"

"I know. That's why you need a babysitter."

"That's not fair! Guthrie didn't have a babysitter when he was ten. And besides who's going to be the babysitter? You better not pick Ford or Evan because they were sledding with us and they thought it was ok for me to go sledding."

It looks like that made him mad. He's staring at me again so I guess he's thinking.

"How come you're just talking to me right now and you're not saying anything to Guthrie? He did the same stuff I did," I ask. I look at Guthrie and he glares at me so I look back at Adam. "Adam?"

He's still staring at me and thinking I guess. But then I get a great idea!

"I know! You could be the babysitter!" I tell Adam.

He just keeps staring!

"Adam?" I ask. "Adam?" What's he doing? "Are you ignoring me? Sometimes Hannah ignores me and it seems just like this."

"No, I'm not ignoring you. I'm thinking," he says.

I sigh and cover my face with my hands. "Can I get down now?" I ask.

"No."

"Why not?" I put my hands back down and look at him. He's starting to make me mad!

Adam glares at me and says, "would you stop talking and let me think?"

I look at Guthrie and he shrugs his shoulders.

Then Adam looks at both of us and says, "there's a new rule."

Uh-oh.

"From now on you need to ask me, Brian, Crane, or Hannah if you can do something. If you want to jump out of the loft, you need to ask us. If you want to go sledding, you need to ask first. If you want to build a snowman family, you need to ask. Then maybe you'll start thinking about things that are dangerous for you."

"We need to ask if we can build a snowman family?" I ask.

"Yes! And if I find out you're doing things without asking first, you're grounded for a week. Understand?"

We both say yes.

"I don't like your new rule," I tell him.

"Tough luck! I don't like it when you do stupid stuff that could hurt you!"

"Well, do I have to ask for everything I want to do?" I ask. I see Guthrie shake his head at me.

"What do you mean?" Adam asks.

"Like, do I have to ask if I can get a drink of water, or go to the bathroom, or...," I try to think of other stuff and I see Guthrie keeps on shaking his head and Adam looks like he's getting madder. "Or get dressed, or if I can eat dinner, or...," that's all I get to ask because Adam yells at me to stop talking.

"If you say one more word you're spending the rest of the night in your room! And that means no dinner!" Then he starts yelling some other stuff but I don't listen.

I glare at him. Maybe I shouldn't have asked those questions. I guess this is one of those times where I said something that makes Adam mad. He's always saying I need to think before I say stuff. Jeez! Now I have to think before I _say_ stuff _and_ I have to think before I _do_ stuff. It's too much to think about! I don't think my brain can do all that thinking!

"Heidi!" I hear him yell so I look at him. Please don't make me tell you what you just said, I hope inside my head. "Why aren't you listening to me!" He yells.

Now I'm confused. He told me not to talk so if I answer his question I'm doing something wrong, but if I don't answer I'm doing something wrong too. I look up at him and do the only thing I can think of doing. I shrug my shoulders.

He stops yelling and says, "go to your room."

I jump down off the table and run upstairs to my room. Once I'm in there I climb in bed and pull the covers over my head and cry.

* * *

"Heidi, it's dinnertime," I hear Crane say.

"I'm not hungry," I tell him from underneath the covers.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I just don't feel like eating."

"Why are you in bed?" He asks and I feel him sit down on my bed.

"I'm tired," I say.

"But it's only six o'clock."

"I played a lot today. Besides, Adam's mad at me. I'm not even supposed to be talking to you!"

"Why can't you talk to me?"

"Because Adam said if I say another word I'm gonna have to stay in my room tonight," I tell him.

"Come on Heidi, you know that's not what he meant."

"He also said I have to ask if I can do stuff, so if I want to get out of bed I can't unless one of you says I can. How can I ask to do stuff if I'm not supposed to talk?" I start to cry.

"Why are you doing this?" Crane asks.

"Doing what?"

"Being difficult?"

"I'm not," I say quietly. "I just want to go to sleep. I don't want any dinner."

"Ok, I'll leave you alone. But if you change your mind you can come downstairs and eat with us," he says. He sits on my bed for a while before I hear him get up and leave.

I really am tired so I close my eyes and try to go to sleep.

* * *

The truck is driving really fast. Why is Adam driving so fast? Hannah is sitting next to him and she's smiling at him. Why won't he slow down? There's a curve in the road coming up. Adam looks over at Hannah and smiles at her. Look at the road Adam! Look at the road! The curve comes up fast and Adam doesn't see it in time. He tries to swerve the truck around the corner but it's too late. The truck falls off the side of the cliff and I fall with them screaming the whole way down!

I open my eyes and sit up. I still hear screaming and I realize it's from me. I'm crying too and I'm all sweaty. What just happened? It must have been a bad dream. I stop screaming but I'm still crying.

"What's wrong?" Adam asks when he runs in here.

I reach my arms up to him and he picks me up.

"You drove the truck over the side of a cliff! You died!" I cry.

"I'm not dead, I'm right here," he says. He sits down on the bed with me and holds me.

"You died," I tell him again.

"I'm right here," he says again.

"I don't want you to die! I don't want you to die!"

"I know. Sh, calm down," he says and he rocks me.

"I don't want you to die!" I yell.

"Sh. Calm down Heidi."

But I can't stop yelling that.

"Heidi!" Adam yells. "Look at me!"

I'm so scared I can barely hear him. I just keep seeing him fall over the cliff so I keep yelling.

"Stop!" I feel him shake me a little bit. "Look at me! Look at me Heidi!" He grabs my face and makes me look at him. "Stop! Look at me!"

I look at him and stop yelling.

"I'm not dead, I'm right here holding you. Look at me. Do you see me?"

I nod my head.

"Good." He smiles at me and then holds me while I cry.

It takes a while for me to stop crying and calm all the way down and he keeps holding me and rocking me the whole time.

"We missed you at dinner tonight. Are you hungry?" He asks.

I shake my head no.

"Do you want to come downstairs with me? It's only eight o'clock."

"Maybe," I say.

"It's just me, Hannah, and Guthrie. Everyone else is in town," he tells me.

"Ok," I say. "But you have to hold me."

"I think I can do that," he says softly and kisses the top of my head. Then he stands up with me and takes me downstairs.

* * *

"Did you have a bad dream?" Guthrie asks when Adam sits on the couch with me.

I nod my head.

"What was it about?" He asks.

I start to cry a little.

"Not now Guthrie," Adam tells him.

"Are you hungry Heidi?" Hannah asks.

"No."

"Well, if you get hungry just let me know. I saved you some dinner."

I reach up and put my arms around Adam's neck and rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me and it makes me feel safe. Guthrie starts talking and I listen.

"What are we doing this week-end?" He asks.

"Tomorrow night is the big Christmas party in Angeles Camp," Hannah tells him.

"I can't wait!" Guthrie says. "That's gonna be so much fun!"

"The next day we're going into Sonora to buy Christmas presents," Adam says.

I like it when we go to Sonora to buy presents. Everyone goes and we all split up into groups and buy each other presents. Sometimes we get to eat dinner out too. It just depends on how much money we have. I guess this year we won't get to eat out because we don't have a lot of money.

"Are we gonna eat out?" Guthrie asks.

I hope Adam says yes.

"Yes," Hannah says. "I have some money set aside for that."

"Can we have pizza?" Guthrie asks.

I let go of Adam and yell, "can we! Can we!" I love pizza and we hardly ever get to have it.

Adam and Hannah laugh. "Are you feeling better?" Adam asks me.

I nod my head really fast. "Can we have pizza? Please?"

"I think we might be able to do that," Hannah says.

"Yes!" Guthrie says.

"Am I going to school tomorrow?" I ask Adam.

"No," he says.

"Can I stay home too?" Guthrie asks.

"Can he?" I ask. "Please?"

"I guess so," he says. "It's the last day before Christmas vacation, so I guess you won't miss much."

"Yeah!" Both me and Guthrie yell.

"We can play in the snow again!" Guthrie yells.

I sigh. "But I can't go sledding."

"We'll just play something else outside in the snow then," Guthrie says.

I sigh again and just listen to them talk until Adam says it's bedtime.

"Can I stay down here with you?" I ask Adam. "I don't want to have a bad dream again."

"Ok, but you have to go brush your teeth first."

"Ok." I get up and follow Guthrie upstairs.

* * *

When I wake up in the morning I sit up and look around. Adam let me sleep on the couch all night and I didn't have any more bad dreams. It's light outside and I don't hear anyone inside the house. I get up and walk into the kitchen. No one's here. I see some breakfast on the table Hannah must have saved for me so I sit down and eat.

I wonder where Guthrie is. When I'm done eating I go to the front door and open it. It's freezing outside! I step out onto the porch in my pajamas and bare feet.

"Guthrie!" I yell. "Guthrie!"

"I'm right here," Guthrie says from behind me. He scares me so I jump and he laughs. "I was upstairs getting dressed. Hurry and put your snow clothes on so we can go play!"

I run around the room getting my snow clothes and putting them on. When we walk out the front door I ask Guthrie what he wants to do.

"We could build a snowman," he says.

"Wait, don't we have to ask first?"

"I already asked Adam and he said yes. I asked him if we could some other stuff too and he said yes. So as long as we only do those things we shouldn't get in trouble."

"Ok," I say. "What other things can we do?"

"Lots. The only thing he said no to was when I asked if we could make another sled run without bumps for you. He didn't like that idea."

We spend the morning staying close to the house making snowmen, having snowball fights and making an igloo. When we get too hot we take our jackets off and I take my hat off and throw it on the ground.

"I'm tired of making this stupid igloo," Guthrie says. "I know! Let's play 'keep away'!" He grabs my hat and laughs while he runs off with it.

"Give it back!" I yell chasing after him. I'm laughing too and this game is fun because it's hard to run in the snow. It's a little icy and we fall a lot.

I almost catch up to him and I reach to grab his hat but he's faster so I can't get it. I can tell he's getting tired though and so am I, so when he gets to the big oak tree in the front yard he stops on one side of the tree and I stop on the other. He starts to go one way and I go that way too, so then we both stand still waiting for the other person to move.

He finally does and I catch up to him so he takes my hat and throws it up in the air. We look up and get ready to catch it but it lands high up in the old oak tree.

"Why'd you do that?" I ask.

He looks at me and smiles. I know exactly what he's thinking. I smile back and we both start climbing up the tree as fast as we can

"I'm gonna get it first!" I yell.

"No, I am!" He yells back.

It's really hard for me to climb the tree with my cast on and I can see he's definitely going to get it first. I only get a little bit up in the tree when my feet start to slip down the trunk.

"What are you doing!" I hear Adam yell.

I jump down and stare at him. He's walking over here fast. Guthrie climbs down and says, "don't talk Heidi, just let me do the talking. You always say stuff that makes him mad."

"Ok," I say quietly. He's right and I don't want to get grounded for this.

"Who told you you could climb the tree?" He yells. He's mad!

I know exactly what to say! "Brian!" I yell.

Guthrie slaps his forehead with his hand and says, "noooo!"

"What?" I whisper to him.

He just shakes his head.

"Brian's been with me all morning! He did not tell you you could climb this tree!" Adam yells. "So now you're lying to me!"

"See," Guthrie whispers. "You should've let me talk, I already knew they were together."

"Then it was Craaane?" I ask, hoping that's a good answer.

"Stop talking!" Guthrie yells. "Crane took Hannah to Marie's!"

Adam looks mad at me. I move a little so I'm standing a little bit behind Guthrie.

"We're sorry Adam," Guthrie says.

"Yeah," I say. "We're sorry. But we weren't climbing the tree."

Guthrie steps on my toes with his foot.

"Ow!" I yell.

"Don't do that to your sister," Adam says to Guthrie. Then he looks at me and says, "I'd love to hear you explain how you weren't climbing the tree when I saw you doing it."

"We weren't. We were playing 'keep away' with my hat and Guthrie threw it up in the tree so we had to get it down. We were just trying to get my hat."

"By climbing the tree!" He yells.

I sigh. I guess he's right. "Sorry," I say.

"You two are done playing outside today," he says. "Guthrie, climb up there and get her hat down."

"Why can't _I_ climb up and get the hat? It's my hat," I ask.

Guthrie climbs up to get my hat and Adam starts rubbing his hand on his forehead. Then he talks in his normal voice to me.

"Heidi, why don't I want you to climb the tree?" He asks.

"Because we didn't ask first," I say.

He shakes his head but not at me. I'm not sure why he's shaking it but he rubs his forehead again and looks tired.

"No. Think Heidi. Why don't I want you to climb the tree?"

I look up at him. Ok, I'll think but it seems too hard. "Why aren't you out somewhere working with Brian?" I ask instead.

That clearly makes him mad because now he starts glaring at me. "What!"

"I said I'll think," and I think. "You don't want me to climb the tree because...?" I look up at him hoping he'll finish the sentence. He doesn't, he just keeps glaring at me. "Oh! I know! Because I might hurt my wrist!"

"Yes!" He yells. "You guys are grounded for a week," he says.

"But it's Christmas vacation!" Guthrie yells.

"Bummer!" Adam says. "You should've thought of that before you climbed the tree!" Then he says in his regular voice, "let's go make some lunch." Then he glares at me and says, "that's why I'm not out working with Brian somewhere."

We start walking towards the house.

"Adam? Why are you afraid I'm going to hurt my wrist when I have a cast on?" I ask him.

"Because I don't want you to hurt it more," he says.

"Then what's the cast for?"

"So it doesn't break more while it's healing," he says as we walk up the porch steps.

"If it's protecting my wrist, why are you worried I'm going to hurt it doing stuff? If I bang my cast on something it won't hurt because I'm wearing a cast." We walk through the front door and I sit down on the floor to start taking my boots off. "See if I bang my cast on the floor like this," I bang it, "it protects my wrist."

"Don't do that!" He yells.

"Why? It doesn't hurt. See?" I do it again.

"Heidi! I'm about to send you to your room for the rest of the day!" He yells.

"What about the party tonight?" I ask.

"I'll stay home with you!" He says and he walks away into the kitchen. "Come help make lunch!"

This is starting to be a bad day. "Guthrie, what are we gonna do for the rest of the day?" I ask him.

"I don't know. This is gonna be a long rest of the day," he says. And we walk into the kitchen to help.

* * *

The rest of the day went by slow. Adam said we had to stay inside and all we could do was play board games, read books, or draw. We tried to make it fun, but we would've rather been outside playing.

At dinnertime everyone is talking about the party tonight and we're all excited. I'm looking forward to seeing Denise there since I haven't been at school to see her. Most of the kids I know will be there.

After everyone's finished eating, Hannah makes my brothers do the dishes because she says us girls need to get dressed. I follow her upstairs to her room.

* * *

Hannah helps me get my dress on. She washed it because it was dirty from me sitting on the ground the other night. My tights got ruined that night too. When I'm dressed and Hannah's dressed she starts fixing my hair.

"Did you like your hair curled the other night?"

"Yes," I say and I smile up at her.

"Do you want me to fix it the same way?"

I nod my head.

She fixes my hair and then starts to fix hers. "Why don't you look in my jewelry box and find that Christmas tree pin you wore the other night."

I stand on my tiptoes and try to look in the jewelry box but I'm not quite tall enough. There's a wooden kitchen chair in the bedroom so I drag it over to her dresser and stand on top of it. I open the box and stare at all the jewelry. The jewelry is all so pretty! Hannah's let me look at it before, but each time I look in it I find something new. Not new because she just bought it, but new for me because there's so much to see in it.

I find the pin and lay it on top of the dresser. Then I look at her jewelry.

"Hannah are you going to wear a necklace tonight?" I ask her.

"Yes, the gold one," she says.

"Is it real gold?" I ask

"Yes."

"Wow!" I say. I start to look at her rings. I try some of them on but they're all too big for me. But then I find one that's small. I put it on my middle finger and it fits! "Hannah look!" I say. "It fits!"

She smiles at me and nods her head while she's curling he hair with her curling iron. I look at the ring and it's pretty. It's gold and has two little diamonds on it next to each other. "Is this real gold?" I ask. I jump off the chair and go show it to her.

"Oh, that ring," she says and she smiles. "My grandmother gave me that ring." I look up at her and her eyes look like they might cry.

"Is it real gold?" I ask.

"I don't know. I don't think so. She gave it to me when I was a little girl, so probably not."

"Are the diamonds real?" I ask.

"Probably not. My grandmother told me a little story about this ring. She didn't live close to me, she lived very far away and I only got to see her maybe once or twice a year. So she gave me this ring and she said this little diamond," Hannah points to one of the diamonds, "was me, and this little diamond," she points to the other one and says, "was her. She said whenever I look at this ring I can think of her and she'll be right here with me."

I look at the ring and take it off. "How come you don't wear it anymore?" I ask.

"It's way too small for me now," she says while laughing.

She starts curling her hair again and I walk back to her dresser and climb up on the chair again. I put the ring back and pick up the Christmas tree pin and get down and bring it over to her. She puts the pin on my dress and I go stand in front of the mirror. I smile and twirl around so my dress flares out. I can't wait to go to the party!

* * *

When we get to the community hall and walk in I see lots of people. Daniel is already here with his band and they're playing dancing music. Some people are dancing and some people are standing around. There's a table with punch and a couple of tables with desserts on them. Everyone was supposed to bring a dessert to share. Hannah brought cookies. There's also a place set up where adults can buy beer or wine.

There are tables and chairs set up for people to sit down and eat at and they all have red tablecloths on. The whole room is decorated Christmasy and everyone looks happy and like they're having a good time.

I look around for Denise and find her sitting at a table with two other girls from our class. I start to run over to her but then I stop. Sitting a few tables over from her is Gary and his mean brother Rick!


	15. Chapter 15

What do I do? Gary and Rick are sitting right there! Guthrie has already run off to be with his friends, so I look around to see if I can see anybody from my family, but I don't! Denise sees me and comes running up to me.

"Heidi!" She yells as she hugs me. I hug her back and she says, "I've missed you so much!"

"I missed you too!" I tell her and I look at Rick and Gary to see if they've seen me. I don't think they have. I grab Denise's hand and yell, "let's go over to the dessert table!"

When we get to the table I tell Denise about Gary and Rick. "See, they're over there," I tell her and I point to them.

"Oh my gosh!" She says. "What should we do?"

"I don't know. I don't want to bother my family because we've all been looking forward to this party, but I want to go home!" I say.

"Why don't we go to the other end of the hall. Maybe they won't see you," she suggests.

"Ok." We run through the people dancing to the other side of the room. Why can't I find anyone in my family? There's eight people to look for counting Hannah and I don't see any of them! Except for Daniel I guess, and I can't bother him. Maybe Gary and Rick won't see me.

A bunch of girls from our class come running up to us and they all start dancing. Maybe if I stay with a group of people they won't see me. I start to dance with them and it's fun. I look over to my right and see Crane dancing with a pretty girl. He looks like he's having fun so I guess I won't bug him. Then I see Guthrie with his friends standing against the wall, and they're all looking at the girls from their class standing on the other side of the room. Why don't they just ask them to dance? It can't be that hard to do, can it?

After a while my friends and I get thirsty so we go to the punch table. We have punch and cookies and while I'm standing at the cookie table I see Adam and Hannah dancing.

"I'll be back!" I yell to my friends and I run over to Adam.

"Adam!" I yell.

They stop dancing and Adam says, "what?"

"I wanna go home!"

"What? Why?" He asks.

"I don't feel good," I tell him.

He feels my forehead with his hand and he says, "other than feeling a little sweaty, you don't feel like you have a temperature."

Hannah feels my forehead too. "Nope," she says. "Maybe you're just tired," she says. "It looked like you were having fun dancing with your friends."

"I was, but now I want to go home!" I yell.

"Go sit down and rest for a while," Adam says.

I walk away and go back to my friends. I look around for Gary and Rick and I don't see them anywhere. Maybe they went home. Guthrie and a bunch of boys come running up to us and ask us to go play tag with them outside. I guess they didn't feel like asking the girls to dance.

We all run outside and play tag in a big open field behind the Community Hall. It's a lot of fun and I don't think about Gary and Rick at all. When I get bored I go back inside and see Crane dancing. He sees me and smiles and motions for me to come over.

I run over to him and he picks me up and swings me around. I laugh a lot. The girl he's dancing with doesn't seem to mind. But then Daniel's band starts playing a slow song and Crane says, "see ya, twerp." He pulls the girl close to him and they start dancing. I see Adam and Hannah dancing so I run over to them.

I hug them and then Adam picks me up so we can all three dance together. "How are you feeling?" He asks.

"I guess I feel ok," I tell him. I look around and I see Gary and Rick at the back door and they see me! The both have creepy smiles on their faces. "I wanna go home!"

"What's the matter with you?" Adam asks.

"I just want to go home. Please can we just go home? I really want to."

"No," he says. "We're not going home!" He puts me down. "Go play with your friends."

I sigh. I guess I'll go back outside and see if Guthrie's still out there. I run out the front door and run around to the back of the building. There are still a few kids left playing. They have a soccer ball now and are playing soccer.

"Can I play?" I ask.

"Sure," Guthrie says, "you can be on my team."

We play for a while, but they've been playing longer and they're tired. "Let's take a break and go get some punch!" Someone says and they all start running inside.

"Guthrie wait!" I yell. "I don't want to go back inside!" I yell after him.

"I'll bring you some punch," he yells back.

Great, now I'm out here by myself. I guess that's better than being inside with Gary and Rick. I kick the soccer ball around while I wait for them to come back.

"Hey McFadden!"

I don't even have to turn around to know who that is! It's Gary! Maybe it's just him and Rick's not with him. I turn around and it's just Gary.

"How'd you break your arm?" I ask while I glare at him.

"Shut up! You did that! My family's mad at you!"

That doesn't sound good. I wonder when Guthrie's coming back. I start to walk back towards the building but Rick's standing near the doorway. What should I do? I stand still.

"Are you scared?" Gary asks.

"Are you stupid?" I ask. "You know all my brothers are here!"

"But they're all inside and we're leaving soon," he says.

Now I'm really scared! "What do you want?" I yell.

"To get even!" He yells.

Where is Guthrie? "How are you gonna do that?" I ask. I want to run back inside but Rick is still by the door, only now he's walking towards me. "What do you want?" I start to cry.

Gary laughs at me. "Hey Rick, look, she's crying!"

"You'd better cry," Rick says. "You keep getting my brother in trouble at school and you'd better stop!" He yells.

"Ok," I say while I cry.

"If you don't leave him alone, I'm gonna break Guthrie's arm! Understand McFadden?"

"Yes!" I cry.

"If you tell anyone about this I'm gonna break both his arms and yours!"

"Ok!" I cry.

"Now go back inside and remember don't tell anyone! We'll be watching you from the door!"

I run inside. I look around to see if I can see any of my brothers but I don't. I look behind me and see Rick and Gary walking to the door. I run over to an empty table and sit down and cry. I look at the door and they're laughing at me.

Guthrie runs over to me. "What's wrong?" He asks.

I look at the door again and Rick punches his hand with his fist. "Nothing," I say and I wipe my eyes. "I'm just tired. You should go play."

"Ok. Do you want me to get Adam?" He asks.

"No, I'm fine." He runs off and I put my head down on the table and cry. I can't wait to go home. I wonder what time it is.

"What's wrong?" Ford asks.

I put my head up and look at him. He's with Cleo. They sit down at the table with me. I look over at the door and Rick and Gary are gone. I look around the room and I don't see them anywhere.

"What's wrong Heidi? You look scared," Ford says.

"Do you know when we're going home?" I ask.

"No. Probably when the party is over. I know I want to stay 'till then." He looks at Cleo and they smile at each other. I like Cleo.

"Are you ok Heidi?" Cleo asks.

I nod my head at her. She's so pretty.

"Do you want me to get you some punch?" Ford asks.

"Ok."

"Do you want some Cleo?" He asks.

"Sure, thank you."

Ford goes off to get the punch and Cleo smiles at me.

"Do you like Ford?" I ask her. Her cheeks get pink and she nods her head. I smile at her. "Do you love him?" I ask.

"Here's your punch," Ford says. He gives some to me and then to Cleo and then he sits down.

I watch everyone dancing and look for Denise. I don't see her. She might've gone home, it's getting late and people are going home. My family likes parties so I'm sure we're staying until the end.

"Do you want to dance Cleo?" Ford asks her.

"Sure," she says. "Do you want to dance with us Heidi?" She asks me and I look at Ford.

"It's ok with me," he says.

"No thanks," I say. "I'm just gonna sit here."

They get up and go out to the dance floor. I look around and don't see Gary or Rick anywhere so I'm sure they've gone home. I watch Daniel singing with his band. He sees me looking at him and he smiles and raises his eyebrows at me. I smile back and give him a little wave.

Evan is dancing with two girls. He looks really happy. I guess he's not thinking about Becky anymore. Brian and Crane are at a table with some girls and they're all drinking beer. That just leaves Adam and Hannah and I don't see them. I sigh and put my head back down on the table.

"Come on Heidi," Guthrie says as he pulls on my arm. "Come play with me outside. Almost all the kids have gone home."

"I don't feel like it," I tell him.

"Why are you so sad?" He asks, sitting down next to me.

"Am I the only one that saw Rick and Gary here!" I yell at him.

"They were here?" He asks. He sounds surprised so I guess he didn't see him.

"Yes they were here!"

"Did they bug you?" He asks.

"Yes! Guthrie, I want to go home! They scared me!"

"What did they say?" He asks. "Tell me Heidi! I'll go beat them up!" He stands up. "Where are they!"

"They left already! Where were you!" I stand up. "You were supposed to come back outside! You didn't come help me!" I push him.

"Heidi stop! I'm sorry! I don't know what you're talking about! Just sit down and tell me what happened."

"You never came back outside!" I push him again. "You said you'd bring me some punch! Why didn't you come save me!" I yell and I start to cry and I push him again.

"Come on, let's go tell Adam," he says while grabbing my arm and trying to pull me.

I punch him with my fist but I forgot about my cast and I hit him hard with my cast right on his cheek.

"Ow! Don't do that! That hurt!" He yells. He puts his hand on his cheek and rubs it. "I'm probably gonna have a big bruise!"

"Sorry," I tell him.

"What the heck do you think you're doing!" I hear Adam yell. I look behind me and him and Hannah are walking over to me. Actually Hannah's walking and Adam's running. He grabs me under my armpit and pulls me away from Guthrie.

"I...," I start to say, but he doesn't let me finish.

"We're going home!" He yells. "No, _you're_ going home!" He yells at me.

"But,...," I try to talk.

"Guthrie go tell Brian and Crane they need to get a ride home, and tell Daniel he's driving the rest of you home."

I stare at Guthrie and he starts to say something but Adam yells at him to go and I start to cry. Adam talks to Hannah for a little bit and I see her put her hand on Adam's arm and I hope that calms him down so I can at least talk to him. He walks back over to me and he still looks mad. He grabs me under the armpit again.

"Let's go!" He yells and starts to lead me out. I look back and wonder why Hannah's not coming too. "Don't look back at Hannah," he says. "She has to stay to help clean up."

When we get outside I try to stop walking and talk to him but he won't let me stop and then he starts yelling at me.

"I can't believe you hit him with your cast! What were you thinking!" And then he yells some more.

Why won't he let me talk. Usually I get to yell back but he's not letting me this time. I just want to talk to him.

"Get in!" He says as he opens the truck door for me. He slams the door shut and walks around to the other side. Once he's in and starts the truck he starts driving home and starts yelling again.

Maybe he didn't have fun at the party. He's really mad. I cover my ears with my hands and I guess I shouldn't have done that because he pulls the truck over to the side of the road.

"Don't cover your ears when I'm talking to you! I'm so mad at you! Why...,"

I can't listen anymore. He just keeps going on and on about something. At least he started driving again. This is gonna be a long ride home. It's already a long ride to begin with but with all this yelling it's gonna be even longer!

"Heidi!" He yells.

I look over at him.

"I asked you a question!"

Oh great! I hate it when he does that. Now he's gonna ask me if I was listening.

"Aren't you listening to me!"

Should I say yes or no? Either way he's gonna keep yelling at me and now I'm starting to get mad!

"Yes I'm listening! You're yelling so loud it's hard not too!"

He pulls the truck over again and glares at me. I definitely should not have said that! Maybe I can open the door really fast and jump out.

"Don't you dare open that door!" He yells. How does he always know what I'm thinking!

"Why do you keep yelling at me! You're not even letting me talk! Did you have a bad night or something! Did Hannah not dance with you or something!"

"What!"

I guess I shouldn't have said that either. I don't know what to do except cover my face with my hands and cry.

"Stop crying and look at me!"

"No! Stop yelling at me!" I open the door and jump out of the truck and I start running down the side of the road.

"Get back here!" I hear Adam yell. I can hear him running after me and I know he's gaining on me and then he grabs me. "What the heck do you think you're doing!" He picks me up.

"Running away from you!" I cry. "You wouldn't take me home! I told you I wanted to go home!"

"Well that's where we're going! And when we get there...,"

"Put me down!" I scream. I start hitting and kicking him.

He puts me down and holds my arms tight at my sides so I can't move and he kneels down so we can look in each others eyes. Then he says in his really serious voice, "you need to stop now. You need to get in the truck and you are not going to say one word. Do you understand me?" I nod my head and he puts his hand under my armpit and leads me back to the truck where he opens the door and I get in. I sit as close to the door as I can and lean my head against the window and cry.

* * *

I open my eyes when the truck stops and I sit up. We're home and I'm really tired. I don't feel like getting out of the truck and I'm not gonna walk. When Adam gets out and walks over to my door he opens it and picks me up. I'm really tired so I let him carry me to the house.

"Why didn't you save me?" I ask quietly. "You're my dad, you're supposed to protect me."

"What?" He asks.

"At the party you didn't help me. They were mean to me and you and Guthrie didn't help me."

"Who are you talking about?" He asks while he opens up the front door.

"The bullies at the party. I told you I wanted to go home and Guthrie didn't bring me punch and they scared me. You didn't save me," I tell him quietly. I'm really tired so it's not all coming out like I want it to.

He carries me upstairs to my bedroom and puts me on my bed. He takes my shoes off and I get in bed.

"Why didn't you help me?" I ask. I'm talking really quietly and I can barely keep my eyes open. "They scared me and they break arms and Guthrie didn't bring me punch."

I feel him put his hand on top of my head and smooth my hair back. "I wish I knew what you were talking about," he whispers as he leans down and kisses my forehead.

"You're my dad," I whisper back. "You're supposed to protect me." And then I fall asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

I'm crying when I wake up and I don't know why. Something feels bad to me and I don't know what it is. I wonder if I had a bad dream. It's still nighttime and the clock says 3:00. Then I remember the party and I'm scared.

What if Rick comes to my house and breaks Guthrie's arms _here_? What if he has an axe and he comes inside and kills us all? I'm so scared. What if he's outside right now? I hear somebody walking in the hallway. What if it's him? I hide under the covers and hope he doesn't see me, but he'll probably hear me because I can't stop crying!

The footsteps are getting closer now and I think he's in my room. He sits on my bed and calls my name and I scream, "please don't kill me!"

"Heidi, it's me," I hear Adam say. "I heard you crying. What's wrong?"

I sit up and cry, "I thought he was going to kill me!"

Adam hugs me and says, "who? Who was going to kill you?"

"Rick. He had an axe."

"No one's going to kill you Heidi," Adam says. "You must've had a bad dream."

"No it's real. He's really going to kill us."

"Look at me Heidi." I look up at him. "Is that what Rick said to you? Guthrie told me Gary and Rick were at the party. Is that why you wanted to come home?"

"Yes," I whisper.

He hugs me again. "Guthrie said they were bugging you. Why didn't you come tell me?"

"Rick said he would hurt Guthrie if I told." And then I start crying really hard. "And now he's gonna hurt him because I told!"

"Heidi, no he's not. I won't let him."

"But he has an axe and he's probably waiting outside right now. He's waiting to come inside and kill us all!"

"Is that what he told you, or are you just making that part up?" Adam asks,

"He could be outside." I think for a little bit. "What if he followed us home?" I cry.

"Nobody followed us home," he says.

"But how do you know? He's probably waiting right outside and he probably has all his brothers outside with him! You need to get your shotgun!" I push by him and get out of bed. "I'll get my BB gun!" I get down on the floor and take my BB gun out from underneath my bed.

"No Heidi. There's no one outside. Put your gun down." I shake my head no so he takes it out of my hands and slides it back under my bed. "Why don't you tell me what happened at the party."

"I saw them there and I then I told you I wanted to go home!" For some reason I'm feeling mad now. "You didn't help me! Dads are supposed to protect their kids!" I cry.

Adam looks sad now and I start crying and he picks me up and holds me. "Heidi, I didn't know. If I would've known I would've taken you home."

"You should've known! You just should've known!"

Adam sighs and tells me to look at him so I do. "Heidi, do you know what I'm thinking right now?"

"That you wish you would've helped me?" I ask.

"No. Well, yes, but no."

"Huh?"

"Let me try again. Heidi, can you read my mind?"

"No."

"Well, I can't read yours. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on," he says. "You have to tell me things like that. I would've protected you at the party, and you know your brothers would have too. You know that, right?"

I nod my head.

"Good. Now tell me what happened."

"Rick said if I don't stop getting Gary in trouble at school, he's going to break Guthrie's arm, and if I told anybody that he said that, he'd break both his arms and mine! And now I told and he's gonna do that!" I cry.

"No he's not! I'm not going to let him do that!" He hugs me really tight. "Heidi, I'm sorry they bugged you at the party. I'm going to...,"

"What if he's in the house right now!" I yell. I try to break away from Adam. "What if he's hurting Guthrie right now! You have to...,"

"Heidi stop!" Adam yells and he grabs my face and holds it up. "Stop! Look at me and stop!"

"Heidi," Hannah says, "calm down and look at Adam."

I look at Adam and try to calm down but I'm breathing really hard and I'm really scared. I stop yelling and he says, "you are safe. Everybody is safe."

"No one is in the house Heidi," I hear Brian say from the hallway. "Trust me. If there was I'd get my shotgun."

"Look, we're all here and we're all going to protect you," Adam says. He smiles at me. "Ok?"

I nod my head so he lets go of my face and I hug him and cry.

"What's going on?" I hear Guthrie ask from the hallway. "Why is Heidi crying?"

He sounds scared to me.

"Why don't you guys all go back to bed," Adam says.

Hannah gets up and I hear her say, "I'll go get Guthrie back to bed."

I hear everyone tell me goodnight as they leave.

"I'm sorry I hit Guthrie!" I cry.

"Sh, we can talk about that tomorrow," Adam says.

He holds me for a long time until I stop crying and have calmed down then he puts me back in bed.

"Please don't leave me," I tell him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he says. "Scoot over."

I move over to the side of the bed and he sits up on bed and leans against the headboard. I sit up next to him and he puts his arm around me and I lean against him. He starts singing really quietly and I close my eyes and try to doze off for a while, but then my whole body jumps awake.

"I'm still here," Adam whispers.

I lay down and turn on my side and face the wall. "Thanks for being my dad," I whisper.

"Your welcome," he whispers back. "I love you Heidi."

That's the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.

* * *

It's light outside when I wake up. I'm still wearing my dress from last night. I get up and run out into the hallway. Today's the day we get to go Christmas shopping! I see Guthrie downstairs and he looks up at me and I see a bruise on his cheek. I remember what happened last night and I feel bad so I go back into my room and shut my door.

After a little while there's a knock at my door and Hannah asks if she can come in.

"Sure," I say sadly.

She opens the door and says, "Guthrie said you were awake. Don't you want to come downstairs and have breakfast?" She asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "Hannah, I hurt Guthrie last night." She sits down on the bed next to me. "I saw a bruise on his face."

"Yes, he has a bruise. But I think if you go downstairs and apologize to him, he'll forgive you."

I look up at her. "Do you think so?" I ask her.

She looks down at me and smiles. "Yes."

"I was really mad at him last night," I tell her.

"I heard. Why don't you get dressed and go down and talk to him. I'll help you get dressed."

She helps me, but she only has to help a little bit.

"Are we going Christmas shopping today?" I ask her.

"Yes," she says while she ties my shoes, and once I'm all dressed I walk downstairs with her.

* * *

I walk over to the couch where Guthrie is sitting tying his shoes. When he sees me he smiles and says, "Heidi, we're going Christmas shopping today!"

He doesn't seem mad at me. "Guthrie, I'm sorry I hit you last night."

He looks at me and smiles. "That's ok. Look at the bruise I got! I get to tell everyone I got hit with a cast!"

I smile at him. That would be kind of a cool thing to say. "Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore. Heidi, I'm sorry I didn't protect you. I wish I would've known because I would've beat them up!"

I smile again, but then my smile fades. "Guthrie, Rick said if I told anyone they were bugging me he'd break both of your arms!"

"Don't worry Heidi, 'cause he's not gonna! I'm not scared of him!"

"You're not?"

"Nope."

"I am," I say sadly.

"I know. Adam said you have to tell us right away when they bug you so we can protect you. Everybody wants to beat them up now. Brian said if he sees that kid Rick he's gonna yell at him. He said he would beat him up if he could but that would be against the law."

"When did he say all that?"

"At breakfast," Guthrie says. "Everyone else has already eaten. They're outside doing stuff so we can leave after lunch. Hurry up and eat so we can go play!"

* * *

I run into the kitchen and Hannah puts my breakfast on the table for me. I sit next to Crane and watch him work on 'the books'. He's writing a bunch of numbers in them. 'The books' tell him how much money we have.

"Hey twerp," he says.

"Hi. How much money do we have?" I ask him.

"Enough," he says.

"Enough for what?" I ask. "Enough to buy a puppy, or a color tv, or more presents?"

"No," he says laughing. "Enough to live off of."

"Oh." I watch him write while I eat.

Guthrie comes running in with a deck of cards. "What do you want to do today?" He asks me. "Play cards, or draw, or what?"

"Why would I want to do any of that stuff? Don't you want to go outside and play?"

He glares at me. "We can't, remember? We're grounded."

"Oh yeah," I say sadly. This is gonna be a boring morning! "Let's draw first."

"Ok, I'll go get the stuff."

I take my plate over to Hannah and sit back down next to Crane. I watch him use the calculator. It looks hard to use and it's so big. Guthrie runs back in with the paper and crayons and sits across the table from me.

It's hard to draw with my left hand but I try my best. I draw a picture of a boy and then a girl and they're holding hands. Then I draw a bunch of red hearts around them.

"Look Hannah." I hold up my picture and she walks over to look. "It's Ford and Cleo," I tell her.

She smiles and says, "it looks very nice." She puts her dish towel down on the table and says, "Crane, I'm going out to the barn to help Evan with the horses."

"Alright. I'll watch these two little twerps," he says.

"Hey!" I yell. "I'm not little!" Crane and Hannah laugh and Guthrie yells, "I'm not little either!"

Hannah goes out the back door and I get another piece of paper. I start drawing a picture of a boy.

"I'm gonna draw the ugliest boy ever!" I say.

Crane puts his pencil down and watches me draw. "Why are you doing that?" He asks.

"Because he's a mean, mean, boy!"

"Oh," Crane says.

Guthrie stands up and leans across the table to look at my paper. "Who is that?" He asks.

"The meanest boy in the whole entire world!" I say.

They watch me draw until Crane says, "I have to go outside for a little while. You guys just sit here and draw. You can play a board game if you get tired of drawing."

After he leaves Guthrie says, "this is so boring!"

"I know!" I tell him while I color red blood on the boy I'm drawing.

"Let me see the red crayon when you're done with it," he says.

"Ok." I finish coloring the blood and then I say, "catch!" I throw the red crayon over to him. Since I have to throw it with my left hand it lands way past him and into the living room. We both laugh.

"Hey, throw it back. Let me see if I can catch it with my left hand!" I yell.

"Yeah! Let's both play catch using only our left hands!" He yells.

"Ok!" I try to catch the crayon when he throws it. I can't so I pick it up off the floor and throw it back over to him. This is a hard game to play! We keep throwing it back and forth until we're both in the living room.

"Throw it as high as you can!" Guthrie yells. "See if you can hit the ceiling!"

I try but it doesn't go that high. Our ceiling is really tall! Guthrie tries to do that too and we try to catch it before it hits the floor.

"Ok, I'm gonna hit the ceiling this time!" I yell. "Catch it!" I throw it up as high as I can and it goes up pretty high and in order for Guthrie to catch it he has to back up. "You can get it Guthrie!" I yell.

We're both laughing and he keeps backing up fast to catch it, and he runs right into the Christmas tree! He falls backwards into it and I laugh because it looks like the tree swallowed him up! But then I stop laughing because he needs help getting out and the tree is wobbling. I pull on him and we run out of the way as the tree falls forward right in the middle of the living room.

"Oh my gosh!" I say. "What do we do?"

"Help me put it back up! Quick!"

We both run to the top of the tree and try to pick it up but it's too hard.

"Let's try picking it up from the middle," he says.

We each stand on one side of the tree and try to pick it up but it's way too heavy.

"Now what?" I ask.

"I don't know! Maybe we can find Ford or Evan to help us put it back up before Crane comes back in!"

"Good idea!" I yell. "But wait! They're outside and we're not supposed to go outside."

"We weren't supposed to do this either!" Guthrie yells.

"Maybe we could just yell their names from the back door and they'll hear us," I suggest.

"Ok, good idea."

We run into the kitchen and Guthrie opens the back door, but he quickly turns around and pushes me back inside and slams the door shut!

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Crane's coming! Quick, sit at the table and we'll pretend we've been drawing!" Guthrie yells.

We sit down and pretend we're coloring.

"Heidi, if he sees the tree don't do ANY of the talking, ok?" He says.

I nod my head as the back door opens and Crane walks in. We look down at our papers and color while Crane sits back down at the table.

"How come you guys are so quiet?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders while I color. Crane stands up and Guthrie says, "where are you going?"

"To get a pen," he says.

Guthrie jumps up out of his chair and says, "I'll get one for you!" He runs into the living room to get one from the desk.

"Ok," Crane says quietly as he sits back down.

I peek over at him. It's a good thing he's not sitting at the end of the table closest to the living room or he'd be able to see the tree. He looks at my drawing.

"Still drawing a bad guy?"

I look back down at my paper. "Yep."

Guthrie runs back in and hands Crane the pen. Then he sits back down and puts his head down and colors.

"You guys are acting really strange," Crane says. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Guthrie says.

"What happened!" Brian yells from the living room.

Me and Guthrie look at each other and Crane gets up and runs into the living room.

"Let's get out of here!" Guthrie yells and we run out the back door.

We run down the back porch steps and start to cross the yard.

"Where do you think you're going?" Adam yells.

He's walking towards the house and now he's walking towards us! We stop running and turn around to go back to the house. Crane and Brian are yelling from the house at us so we turn back around to look at Adam.

"It was an accident!" Guthrie yells.

"What was an accident?" Adam asks.

"Get back in here!" Crane yells from the porch.

"Go!" Adam says pointing towards the house.

"It was an accident Adam!" Guthrie keeps saying as we walk back to the house. I'm not going to say anything!

When we get inside we all walk into the living room. "It was an accident," Guthrie says again.

"Then why'd you run away?" Crane asks.

"How was this an accident?" Brian asks. "It's kind of hard to knock a big tree like this down on accident!"

"Well, we didn't just go over there and push it down," I say.

Now everyone's looking at me and Guthrie doesn't look happy. I should've just said that in my head.

"We were playing catch with a crayon and I accidentally fell into the tree," Guthrie says.

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" Crane says.

"Yeah, it's not the first time a Christmas tree has been knocked down in this house," says Brian.

"Why were you running away?" Adam asks.

"Because we were afraid you'd get mad at us and yell at us," Guthrie says.

"Yeah!" I say. "Kind of like you're doing now." They're all staring at me again. "What? It's true." I put my arms up in the air and shake my head. They all laugh.

"Let's get this tree back up," Brian says.

My brothers put the tree back up and Guthrie and Crane clean up pine needles while the rest of us put the ornaments back on that fell off. We only broke two and I don't think they were really important ones because nobody was sad they were broken.

"I only left you guys alone for half an hour!" Crane says while he smiles at us.

"You probably shouldn't of done that," I say.

"See what I mean about a babysitter," Adam says looking at me. But he's smiling too.

"I think you guys are gonna have to pay somebody to babysit me," I tell them.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because you guys are all crummy babysitters!"

Crane laughs and picks me up and lifts me up as high as he can until I laugh really hard. Then he carries me into the kitchen and over to where I was drawing. He picks up 'the books' and leaves to go put them away. I stand at the table and start drawing my picture again.

I look over to the living room and watch Crane talk to Adam, only they're whispering and looking at me. Now what did I do wrong! I look back at my picture and start coloring. When they're done talking Crane and Brian tell Guthrie to come outside and help them with something. Adam walks into the kitchen and gets a glass of water and comes and sits down next to me.

"What are you drawing?" He asks.

"A picture," I tell him.

"I can see that. What's it a picture of?"

"When are we going shopping?" I ask.

"After lunch. What are you drawing?"

I sigh and pick up a black crayon and draw some hair. "It's a boy."

"I see you drew a picture of Ford and Cleo," he says while holding up the other picture I drew.

"Yep," I say while coloring.

"Who's this boy you're drawing a picture of now?" He asks.

"He's the ugliest, meanest, boy in the whole wide world!"

"What's his name?"

"How'd you know that was a picture of Ford and Cleo? I didn't write their names on it," I ask picking up the green crayon and coloring the face green.

"I just guessed," he says.

I look at him. "No you didn't." I look back down at my picture and start coloring again.

"Ok. Crane told me."

"Why'd he tell you that?" I ask.

"Heidi, who are you drawing a picture of?"

"I told you. The meanest, ugliest boy in the whole entire world."

"What's the red stuff all over him?"

"That's the blood." I pick up the black crayon again and start scribbling all over him. "And now he's dead!"

"How'd he die?" He asks.

I look at Adam. "With the black crayon." I go back to scribbling on him.

"Is that a picture of Rick?"

I shrug my shoulders. "When are we leaving?"

"I already told you, after lunch."

"Where's Hannah? Is she gonna make lunch?" I ask. Now I can hardly see the boy in my picture because he's almost all the way covered up with black crayon.

"Hannah's outside with Evan. I think Brian's making lunch."

"When's he going to make it?"

"Heidi, can you put the crayon down?" He asks.

"Why?" Now you can't see the boy at all.

"So I can talk to you," he says.

"We're already talking," I tell him.

He takes the crayon out of my hand and sets it on the table so I pick up the brown one. He takes that one too and after he puts that one down he takes both my hands and turns me towards him.

"Why are you drawing a picture of Rick?" He asks. "And why is he dead?"

I shrug my shoulders and my eyes start to water.

"I'm sorry he's bothering you and I know you think he's going to hurt Guthrie, but he's not," he tells me. "He tells you things like that to scare you."

"Well, it worked," I say. "I'm really scared of him."

"I know. We're not going to let him hurt you or Guthrie. I wish I would've known he was there last night so I could've taken you home. Maybe we should come up with a code word for when you see him so we can protect you."

"A code word?"

"Yeah, we could give Rick a code word like 'skunk'. Then last night you could've come and told me the skunk is here, I want to go home," he says.

I laugh. "I like that code word."

"Ok, we'll tell all your brothers the code word is 'skunk'," he says.

"Don't forget to tell Hannah too," I say.

"Ok." He smiles at me and gives me a hug. "Now tell me what happened with Guthrie last night."

I sit down and sigh. "I hit him."

"I know. What happened?" He asks.

"I got mad at him because he was supposed to come back outside and he didn't. I was out there all by myself and Rick and Gary came out and that's when they bugged me. I was waiting for Guthrie to come help me and he never came. So I got mad at him. I'm sorry."

"You know I don't like it when you hit people. Especially your brother," he says in his serious voice.

"I know. I'm sorry. I told Guthrie I was sorry too. Are you gonna ground me, because I already am grounded."

"Come here," he says and I stand up and he hugs me. "We'll talk about that later tonight."

When we stop hugging I look back at my drawing.

"What do you want to do with that?" He asks.

"Can I rip it up?"

"Sure. You rip it up and I'll throw it away."

"Even if I rip it up into little teeny tiny pieces?" I ask.

"Yep," he says and smiles at me.

I rip up my picture into little pieces and Adam picks them up and throws them away.

"I'm gonna draw another picture now," I tell him. I stand at the table and get a piece of paper and start drawing.

"I'm going to go back outside and finish what I was doing before it's time for lunch."

I keep coloring my picture and say, "ok. But are you sure you want to leave me in here all by myself?" I look up at him and smile.

He looks at me and glares but I can tell he's not really mad because he's smiling a little bit and even though he's glaring his eyes are smiling too. He sits down across from me.

"Ok, what are we drawing?" He asks as he takes a piece of paper and picks up a crayon.

I color my picture and shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. Why don't you draw a picture for Hannah? You could draw her a bunch of flowers or something."

I look over at his paper and watch him draw a flower. He's pretty good at drawing and I try to draw a flower just like his.

"Adam, when we go shopping today can Guthrie and I walk around the store together? Just us by ourselves?" I ask.

"Is that supposed to be a joke?" He asks while he colors his flower.

"No. Don't you think we're old enough now? Guthrie's twelve."

He stops drawing and we look at each other. "I can't even leave you guys alone in the house. Why would I let you walk around the store by yourselves? Besides, you might get lost."

"I didn't get lost _last_ year," I tell him.

"You might break something," he says while smiling a little bit.

"I didn't mean to do that. That snow globe thing was sitting right at the end of the shelf."

"No, you guys aren't going to go shopping by yourselves this year," he says.

"If nothing bad happens this year, can we shop by ourselves next year?" I ask.

"Let's see how today goes first. Then we'll talk about next year," he says, and we both start drawing again.


	17. Chapter 17

After lunch we finally all head out to Sonora to go Christmas shopping. It's something we all go do together, but with Hannah here now we don't all fit in our two cars. It's ok if the weather's good because someone can sit in the back of the truck. But when we go farther away, like to Sonora it's harder for someone to ride in the back of the truck. It's cold outside today too.

"Adam can I ride in the back of the truck? Please?" I ask him.

"Me too?" Guthrie asks.

"No, not today. Heidi you're gonna ride in the truck with me and Hannah."

"Why do I have to? That means I have to sit in the middle!"

"Because you're the littlest," he says while smiling at me.

"I'm not little! Guthrie's just as little as me!" I tell him.

"No I'm not!" He says while glaring at me.

"Let's go," Adam says. "Get in the truck Heidi."

I glare at him and tell Hannah, "you get in first. You can sit next to him."

"Heidi, get in the middle," Adam says.

When all three of us are in the truck I look up Hannah. "You should work at Marie's after Christmas too," I tell her.

"Why?" She asks.

"Because we need to buy a new car!"

She kind of glares at me a little, but I don't care because I'm the one stuck in the middle.

"We don't need a new car," Adam says.

"Yes we do! This truck breaks down all the time! You guys are always outside working on it. I think we should get a big truck. One that has a back seat in it. Then I wouldn't have to sit in the middle all the time."

"I think _you_ should get a job," Adam says.

"Ha! That's funny! I'm ten. Who's gonna give me a job?"

Adam says something quietly that I can't hear. "What?" I ask him.

"Nothing," he says.

"Can we listen to the radio?" I ask.

"No," Adam says.

"Why?" I ask. He's starting to make me mad. "If I have to sit in the middle I should get to decide if we listen to the radio or not."

Hannah puts her arm around me and says, "why don't you just be quiet for a while and let me and Adam talk."

"That's boring," I tell her.

Maybe if I bug them enough I won't have to ride home with them. I bet my brothers are listening to the radio really loud in the jeep and singing along. Guthrie's lucky. I turn my head to look at Evan and Ford riding in the back of the truck. They're lucky too. It's a lot of fun riding in the back of the truck. I wave to them but they don't see me. I turn my body around so I can knock on the rear window. I knock a couple of times and wave and they smile and wave back.

"Turn around," Adam says.

"Why? I'm waving to them."

"Turn around," he says again.

"Ok." I turn around and ask, "why can't we listen to the radio?"

"Because Hannah and I want to talk."

"About what?"

"About stuff," he says.

I look at him and I can tell he's starting to get mad. I smile at him. "What kind of stuff?" I ask.

"Just stuff!" He yells.

"You don't have to yell, I'm just asking," I tell him.

Hannah puts her hand on my knee. "Heidi, why don't you be quiet for a while."

I smile at her. "Why?"

"What are you doing!" Adam yells. "Why are you being so difficult!"

"What do you mean?" I ask. Maybe they'll get sick of me and he'll pull over and let me ride in the jeep. It's following right behind us.

"You know exactly what I mean! Quit being a smart a...,"

"Adam!" Hannah says in a real serious voice. I laugh because I know what he was going to say.

Adam is quiet for a little while and I smile while I watch him. All of a sudden he starts to smile. Then he says, "oh, I know what you're doing."

My smile fades a little.

"Your plan isn't going to work," he says.

I'm not smiling anymore. "What plan?" I ask.

"The plan where you see if you can bug us enough so we let you switch cars," he says, and now he's smiling.

I glare at him and fold my arms across my chest. "How'd you know that?" I ask.

"I know you and I'll tell you right now it's not going to work."

"How do you know?" I ask grumpily. "I can be very good at bugging people."

I hear Hannah laugh a tiny bit so I glare at her.

"It's not going to work because if you say one more word you're not going to be eating pizza with the rest of us tonight," he says. "You'll be sitting in the car while we eat and you can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when we get home."

"Hey! That's not fair! You can't do that!" I yell.

"Yes I can," he says.

"No you can't! I'll freeze to death!" I yell. "It's against the law!"

He laughs at that.

"Why are you laughing?"

He doesn't answer me.

"_I said_, why are you laughing?"

He still doesn't answer me but at least he's not laughing at me anymore.

"So now you're ignoring me? Fine! If you think I'm going to sit in the truck while you guys eat pizza you're wrong!" Now he looks mad. Maybe my plan can still work. "Yep! I'm not gonna stay in the truck! I'm gonna get out and call the police! I'm gonna tell on you because I know you can't leave me in the truck like that!"

Adam is quiet but he looks mad. Hannah starts talking now.

"Heidi, you need to stop talking now."

"Why? Am I _bugging you_?" I ask and I smile up at her.

Adam swerves the truck to the side of the road and stops it. I guess my plan worked. Adam gets out of the truck and walks in front of the truck and starts pacing and talking to himself. Hannah gets out and goes to talk to him. Evan and Ford get out of the back and come stand at the passenger side door to talk to me.

"What's going on?" Evan asks me.

"Adam's mad." I tell them as I scoot over to the window.

"Why?"

I shrug my shoulders. I'm watching Adam and Hannah and Adam looks very mad. I hear Adam tell her he's about ready to spank me. They keep looking at me and talking to each other. I have a bad feeling about this.

"There's the jeep," Ford says. "I'll go talk to Brian."

The jeep must be parked behind us. I turn around and see it.

"What'd you do?" Evan asks.

"I guess I bugged him."

"Why'd you do that?" He asks.

"Because I wanted to go in the jeep."

"Oh." He looks at Hannah and Adam. "It looks like Hannah's getting him to calm down."

It looks like he's right but now they're coming over here.

"Bye," Evan says. "Good luck!" He runs to the back of the truck and Hannah walks that way too.

Adam comes to the passenger door and I move all the way to the other side of the seat. He opens the door and says, "get out."

I stare at him and don't move. He doesn't look as mad as he did before. I guess that's good, but I'm not going anywhere near him!

"Get out," he says again, only a little bit louder this time.

"Why?" I ask.

He glares at me now and I know he doesn't like it when I say that, but I really want to know why.

"Get out!" He yells.

"No! I'm afraid you're going to spank me." Then I start crying.

Adam's face doesn't look as mad anymore and he says, "Heidi stop crying and look at me. Believe me, I want to spank you and you deserve it, but I'm not going to." I stop crying and look at him. "Heidi, this is supposed to be a fun day. We're going as a whole family to pick out presents for the people we love and care about. Then we're going to have pizza. Do you remember how excited you were for this day?"

"Yes."

"You are bugging me and Hannah and it's making this day not fun or special anymore. Is that what you want?"

I cry. "No." And I really don't want to ruin this day.

"Do you really want to miss out on pizza?"

I shake my head no.

"I'm sorry you have to sit in the middle and I'm sorry you don't get to ride in the jeep, but don't ruin this day because of that. I don't want to have to take you home."

He was going to take me home! "No, I don't want to go home! Please don't take me home! I'll be good, I promise. I won't bug you anymore. I won't talk or anything. I'm sorry! I'm really, really sorry!" I think I see a little bit of a smile but I'm not sure. "Can we start the ride over? Please?"

"Yes. But listen to me carefully," he says in his very serious voice, "if you behave like you've been behaving I will take you home, and I will spank you there."

"I don't want you to do that," I say quietly.

"Good. I don't want to have to do that either. Now can we get back on the road and have some fun?" He says and smiles at me.

I smile back and nod my head.

"Let's go!" He yells to everyone. He walks back around to the drivers side and I scoot over to let him in. Hannah gets in on the other side and I'm squished in the middle. Well, I'm not that squished. Adam drives the truck back onto the road and we're on our way again.

* * *

When we get to Sonora we park in the parking lot of a big store. We always go Christmas shopping here. It's a huge store that has everything in it. You can buy toys, or tools, or shampoo, or dog food, or people food, it has everything!

We always split up into groups to go shopping and usually Guthrie and I shop together with someone, unless we have to buy for each other and this year we don't because he's buying for Brian, and I'm buying for Hannah. Adam tells us to shop with Daniel and Ford.

"Make sure you watch them the whole time," Adam says to them.

"We will," Daniel says. "How much trouble could they get in?" Everyone looks at him and he says, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I know how much trouble. Don't worry we'll watch them."

Then Adam looks at me and Guthrie and says, "stay with them. Don't run in the store and don't touch anything." He looks at me when he says that last part.

"How am I supposed to buy something if I can't touch it?" I ask.

He glares at me, "you know what I mean." Then to everyone he says, "we'll meet back here at four thirty." He gives Daniel some money.

"I'll race you!" Guthrie yells as he runs off towards the store. I run after him.

"Hey! Watch for cars!" Adam yells.

Guthrie beats me and we wait by the door for Daniel and Ford. When they finally get here Daniel says, "remember five bucks! That's it! Don't find a really expensive present and beg me to buy it 'cause there's only five dollars for each person. Got it?"

"Yes," Guthrie says and I nod my head.

We walk towards the door and it's the kind I love! It opens all by itself! I stand in front of the door and stop. I watch it open and my brothers walk in. I wait for the door to close but it doesn't.

"Come on!" Ford says.

"I'm waiting for the door to close," I tell him.

"It's not gonna close when you're standing in front of it," he says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Go Heidi!" Brian yells from behind me. "There's people that want to come in."

"I'm waiting for the door to close. Walk around me," I tell him.

He picks me up and carries me just inside the door and sets me down. I turn around and watch the door close after everyone comes in. I stand in front of the door from inside and it opens again.

"Quit fooling around!" Adam yells at me. "Daniel!"

Daniel turns around and looks back. He comes over and swings me up so he can carry me. I laugh and he says, "stay with me twerp, or you gonna get _me_ in trouble!" He smiles at me and I smile back at him.

"What do you guys want to look for first?"

I shrug my shoulders. I haven't really thought about what I want to buy for Hannah.

"Let's look at everything!" Guthrie says.

"Yeah! That would be fun!" I yell.

Daniel and Ford shake their heads. "Alright," Daniel says, "let's get started."

* * *

We've been walking around for a while now and I haven't seen anything I want to buy for Hannah yet. We're in the music section because Ford and Daniel want to look at records. Guthrie and I look through the records too until I see a girl walk up to Daniel and say hi. It's Allison!

I run over to them. "Hi Allison!" I give her a hug and she smiles and hugs me back. "Hi Heidi! How are you?"

"Good." I look up at her. I love Allison! She used to go out with Daniel but they don't anymore. I miss her. "Are you and Daniel gonna go out on a date again?" I ask her. Her cheeks get pink and she smiles at Daniel. I look up at Daniel and he's smiling at Allison. "Are you?" I ask.

Daniel keeps smiling and looking at her and he takes his hand and pushes me away. "Go hang out with Ford," he says. I shrug my shoulders and go look for Ford. He's still looking at records.

I find Guthrie looking at the TV's. "Look at this one," he says. "It's a color TV and look how big the screen is!"

"It's five hundred dollars! Why is it so expensive?" I ask.

"I guess because it's in color. I don't know. There's some cheaper ones over there," he says.

"Guthrie I'm getting bored here. Can we go look at something else?"

"Only if we ditch Ford and Daniel," he says.

"Daniel's busy talking to Allison," I tell him.

"Let's go tell Ford that Daniel's taking us to get a drink and we'll be right back."

"Ok! But can we really go get a drink?" I ask.

"Sure."

We run over to Ford and tell him we'll be with Daniel and then we run off.

* * *

We've been running around the store for a while now. We've looked at the sports equipment, gotten two drinks of water and looked at the fish in the fish tanks. We haven't gotten to the toy section yet, but that's what we're trying to find. Luckily we haven't run into our family yet. We walk around looking for the toys, but I stop when I see the jewelry section.

"Guthrie! I know what I want to get Hannah!"

"What?"

"Jewelry! Let's look."

We run up to the counter. There's so much jewelry! It's all so sparkly and pretty! "What do you think she'd like?" I ask him.

"All of it!" He says.

We walk around the counter looking at everything displayed in it. There's, necklaces, bracelets, earrings, watches, and then I see the rings! That's what I want to get her!

"I'm gonna get her a ring," I tell Guthrie.

"Ok, which one?" He asks.

We look at the rings and I like them all. There's a lady behind the counter helping someone and when she's done helping her, she walks over to us.

"Can I help you find something?" She asks.

"I want to buy a ring," I tell her.

"Ok."

"Are these real gold and real diamonds?" I ask her.

"These over here are and they're _very_ expensive. The ones in this tray," she points to some pretty rings in a tray, "aren't real gold or diamonds, and they're much cheaper." The lady looks over at the other side of the counter and says, "I'll be right back, I'm going to help that lady over there." I watch her walk away.

"Which one should I pick?" I ask Guthrie.

"I don't know. They're all pretty."

We stand at the counter for a long time while the lady helps the costumer.

"Heidi, I'm getting bored," Guthrie says. "You stay here and I'll go look for something for Brian and I'll be right back. Ok?"

"Ok." I keep looking at the rings.

"Heidi, look at me," he says. I look at him. "Don't go anywhere. Stay right here and I'll be right back."

"Ok, I heard you the first time!"

"I'm just making sure," he says and then he runs off.

The lady comes back over to help me. "Do you want me to take the tray out? You can look at them better that way."

"Yes please," I say.

She takes the tray out and sets it on the counter. "I'm going to help that person over there and then I'll be right back."

I look at the tray of rings. They're all so pretty. I pick one up and try it on. It's way too big for my finger, but I bet it would fit Hannah's finger perfectly. I put it back and pick up another one. No, this isn't it. Then I see the gold ring with three diamonds. That's it! That's the one I want to buy for Hannah!

The lady behind the counter comes back over and asks me if I want to buy it.

"How much is it?"

She takes the ring from me and looks at it carefully. "Twenty dollars plus tax."

What! Twenty dollars! I only have five.

"Do you need some time to think about it?" She asks.

I stare at her.

She hands me the ring. "Let me help the lady over there," she says pointing to her cash register, "and then I'll be right back. But, you need to decide quickly because these rings are selling fast. I've already sold five today." I can see from the empty slots on the tray that she's right.

When she walks away I look at the ring. It's so beautiful. Hannah would love it, but I can't afford it. But it's perfect! I look at the lady at the cash register. The lady she's helping is buying something and she's giving her the money now. I have to think fast. I close my hand over the ring and look around me. No one is around so I slowly put my hand in my pocket and slip the ring in it. Then I slowly take my hand out of my pocket and pick up another ring. I wait at the counter for the lady to come back.

"Did you decide yet? It's a really pretty ring." She stares at me and waits for my answer.

"No, I can't afford it." I hand her the ring and she puts it back in the tray and puts the tray back in the glass cabinet. My stomach starts to hurt a little bit while I watch her do that.

"Is something wrong?" She asks.

I stare at her and shake my head no.

"Ok then, have a nice day." She walks over to the other end of the counter to help someone else.

I put my hand over my pocket and feel the ring in there. It really is the perfect present. Hannah's gonna love it. But, I feel bad.

"Heidi, come on!" Guthrie yells. He runs over to me and grabs my arm. "I found the perfect present for Brian!" He pulls me away from the jewelry section and I run with him through the store. Well, I guess there's no turning back now.

* * *

Guthrie drags me over to where the food is and he picks up a box. "Look! It's hot sauce! There's five different kinds in the box!" Guthrie says.

I look at it and say, "it's perfect! Brian's gonna love it!"

"It only costs four dollars and seventy-five cents! That's enough, even including the tax!"

I put my hand over my pocket and feel the ring. I feel bad now. Guthrie found a great present for five dollars. I wish the rings were cheaper.

"Did you find a ring for Hannah?" He asks. I nod my head. "Let me see it."

I stare at him. What should I say? I can't show it to him. But wait, it's Guthrie, he'll understand. "I'll show it to you at home."

"But where is it?" He asks. "You have to give it to Daniel so he can pay for it."

I have to think fast. "The lady's keeping it behind the counter for me." He seems to be satisfied with that answer.

"Come on," he says, "let's go find the toys!"

* * *

We finally find the toys and Guthrie says, "let's go find the army men."

"I'll be there in a minute. I want to look at something first."

He runs off and I walk down the doll isle. It's been a while since I've looked at dolls. There are baby dolls, Barbies, doll houses, doll cribs, and then I see the most prettiest dolls I've ever seen! They're just like the dolls my friend Denise has. The dolls have shiny smooth faces. They're not made of plastic like the other dolls. It looks like they have make-up painted on their cheeks and lips because their cheeks are pink and the lips are either pink or red.

I touch one. It's so pretty and it feels so smooth, but I don't pick it up because I don't want to break it. I've broken one of these dolls before at my ex-friend's house. She was pretty mad and so was her mom.

The doll I'm touching has brown hair and is wearing a pretty pink dress, little socks and shiny black dress shoes. I look to see how much it costs, but I don't see a price tag and I'm definitely not going to pick it up. I turn around when I hear Guthrie calling my name.

"I'm over here!" I yell.

He finds me and says, "I want to show you something!" Then he looks around and says, "what are you doing in the doll isle?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"Come on! I want to show you something," he says and he runs off.

"I'll be right there!" I yell. I look at the doll a little bit more and then go in the direction Guthrie went. I walk past the toy trucks and see a display. It's a pyramid display made out of toy truck boxes. It's the kind of display I usually see in grocery stores. Usually the pyramid is made with soup cans and I can never understand why they have them because how do you get a can down if you can't reach the top of the pyramid.

This pyramid is made of boxes of big toy trucks that a little kid can sit on and push around with their feet. They're big boxes and the pyramid is way taller than Adam. I see a store worker and go talk to him.

"Are there really trucks in those boxes?" I ask him.

"No, they're all empty."

"Why?"

"Just in case they get knocked over," he says. "That way it won't hurt someone."

"Has it ever fallen before?"

"No." He looks closely at me and asks, "why?"

"No reason," I tell him. I smile at him but he doesn't smile back. Guthrie is by my side now.

"Don't touch that!" He whispers. "Remember what happened in the grocery store."

I whisper back, "I know, I remember." But I really want to touch it!

"Come on, I want to show you the bikes!" Guthrie says and he runs off.

"Bye!" I say to the store worker and I skip off after Guthrie.

* * *

"I think we've seen everything in the store," I tell Guthrie. "I'm getting tired of walking around."

"Me too." He says.

"Aren't we gonna get in trouble for ditching Ford and Daniel?" I ask.

"Don't worry, they'll find us first," he says.

"How do you know?"

"Because if they don't, they know they'll get in trouble for losing us."

"Oh," I say as I sit down on the floor in the book isle. I have a horse book I'm looking at and Guthrie sits down with a motorcycle magazine.

* * *

I've looked at almost all the horse books and Guthrie's looked at lots of magazines when we hear our names on the loud speaker.

"Guthrie and Heidi McFadden, come to the front desk please."

"That's us!" I yell jumping up.

"I know," Guthrie says and he sounds sad.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Now everyone knows we're lost, and we're gonna get in trouble!"

"We're not lost!" I tell him. "We're right here in the book section."

"_They_ don't know where we are!" He says.

"Who's _they_?" I ask.

Guthrie glares at me and says, "who do you think!"

Then we hear the loud speaker again. "Guthrie and Heidi McFadden, to the front desk please."

I look up at the ceiling and put my hands up in the air. "I hear you lady! Where's the front desk!"

"She can't hear you, Heidi," Guthrie says.

"I know that."

"Yeah right," I hear Guthrie whisper.

"Where's the front desk?" I ask him.

"I don't know! We just have to walk around and look for it," he says.

We start walking around and we hear our names over the loud speaker again.

"Ok! Ok!" I yell. "Give me a break! Where's the front desk!"

"Would you shut up!" Guthrie yells.

"Hey! You're not supposed to say that to me!" I yell at him.

I see a worker and we ask him where the front desk is.

"Straight down this isle," he points, "and then turn left."

"Turn left where?" I ask.

"At the end of the isle Heidi!" Guthrie yells. "Come on!"

We hear our names _again_ on the loud speaker.

"Aw come on lady!" I yell. "We're almost there!"

"Shut up!" Guthrie yells.

When we get to the end of the isle Guthrie stops. I stop too.

"Heidi, look at me," he says.

"What?"

"When we get to the desk don't talk at all! Ok?"

I nod my head.

"No! I mean it! Don't talk AT ALL! Promise me!" He says.

"Ok, I promise! I won't talk AT ALL!"

We turn left and see Adam standing at the front desk with Daniel and Ford.

* * *

"Where have you been!" Adam yells at us.

We stare at him and don't say a word. The answer is pretty obvious to me but I promised Guthrie I wouldn't say anything.

"Do you know what time it is?" Adam yells.

Again we stare at him, but this time Guthrie shakes his head no. Adam should know the answer to that question too because he knows we don't have a watch.

"Let's buy your presents and get out of here!" He yells. "Everyone's waiting for you!"

"Why? What time is it?" I ask. Adam glares at me and Guthrie nudges me so hard I almost fall down, and it hurts.

"Ow! Don't do that!" I yell and I push him so hard the box of hot sauce falls out of his hand and drops on the floor and you an hear something break.

"Now look what you did!" Guthrie yells and I can tell he's gonna push me back but Daniel grabs him and picks up the box and says, "come on, lets go get another box."

Adam is still glaring at me and he says, "where's your present?"

I stare at him because I don't know what to say.

"I'm asking you a question. Where's your present?"

I look down at the floor and say quietly, "I didn't find one."

"What have you been doing this whole time?" He yells.

I look up at him and shrug my shoulders. I feel like the ring in my pocket is burning a whole through my pants.

"You'll have to find something in Murphys because we're leaving as soon as we pay for Guthrie's present."

"Ok," I say. That's fine with me.

Guthrie and Daniel come back pretty quickly and we go wait in line to pay. I love paying at these kind of stores. At our grocery store in Murphys, there's only one cashier. Here there's six! There are two people in line in front of us, and the lady that's first puts her stuff on the, I forget what that thing is called.

"Ford," I whisper as I pull on his arm.

"What?"

"What's that thing called the lady's putting her stuff on?" I ask.

"A conveyor belt," he says.

I love conveyor belts! When we get closer to it I squeeze in between Guthrie and Daniel and put my hand on the belt. The belt moves my hand until it gets to Daniel and then I have to take it off. I slap my hand down on the belt really hard and press down as hard as I can.

"What are you doing?" Daniel asks.

"Trying to make the belt stop," I tell him. The lady in front of us has a lot of stuff to buy so the belt keeps moving.

Daniel laughs and says, "you'll never be able to stop it with just one hand, you have to use two."

"Don't encourage her," I hear Adam say.

I put both hands on the belt and press down as hard as I can. Guthrie helps me and we start laughing.

"Stop," Adam says, "or you going to break it."

"Wait," I tell him, "we can almost stop it."

"No! Take your hands off of it!" He says louder.

"Jeez," I whisper and Guthrie smiles at me.

When we're done paying we walk to the door.

"Woah!" I yell. "It's dark outside!"

"Why's it so dark?" Guthrie asks.

"Because it's five thirty!" Adam yells.

"We're still going to have pizza, right?" Guthrie asks.

I run ahead a little bit and jump in front of the door to make it open. Then I turn around and hold my arms out so no one can walk through the door. "It'll be five dollars if you want to go through!"

Adam lifts me up about a foot and sets me outside the door. "I'm not in the mood," he says.

"I'll race you to the jeep!" Guthrie yells and we start running.

"Stop!" Adam yells.

We stop and turn around and look at him.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because it's dark and it's a big parking lot and you don't look for cars!" He yells. He holds his hand out and says, "hold my hand."

I glare at him. "Why? I'm not a baby!"

He grabs my hand and we all start walking to the cars.

"Ow!" I yell. "You're hurting my hand!"

"No I'm not," he says.

"Why are you so mad?" I ask. "You're being really grumpy. I thought this was supposed to be a fun day."

He stops walking and lets go of my hand and looks down at me. "It was a fun day until you ditched your brothers and we had to look for you for over a half hour!" He looks mad and he's yelling that.

"How were you looking for us if you were waiting at the front desk?"

"If I were you I would keep your mouth shut right now until we get to the pizza place. You got that?"

While I'm looking up at him I put my fingers up to mouth and pretend to zip them closed.

He glares at me and grabs my hand and we start walking and I hear him say quietly, "you'd better keep 'em zipped!"

* * *

The ride to Mountain Mike's Pizza is quiet in the truck. When Adam parks the truck I let out a big sigh. "I can finally talk!" I jump out of the truck and Guthrie and I run up the front steps and into the restaurant. We run straight to the arcade.

The pizza place is pretty crowded. There's lots of kids and teenagers in the arcade. Guthrie and I go stand at the Space Invaders game and watch a kid playing it. I love this game. I've played it once and I wasn't very good. Guthrie was better at it. "Heidi, go ask for some quarters," Guthrie tells me.

"Are you crazy! They're mad at us! I'm not asking, you go ask!" I yell.

Crane comes in and gives us two quarters each and then he heads over to the pinball machines. I like watching my brothers play pinball but right now I like Space Invaders more. Guthrie and I put our quarters in line and wait our turn. The boy playing is pretty good. He ends up getting on the leader board. When he leaves Guthrie lets me take a turn first.

I put my quarter in and try to play but I only last for about a minute and I definitely don't get to put my name on the leader board. Guthrie goes next and he's getting better at playing it but he doesn't get his name on the leader board either. Guthrie tells me to take my second turn but I don't want to waste my quarter so I watch Guthrie take his last turn and he does much better than his first turn. He gets eighth place on the leader board!

After that I go watch Brian and Crane play pinball. They let me take a turn but I'm no good. After a while I get bored and go see if the pizza's ready. I run over to the big round table Hannah and Adam are sitting at.

"Is the pizza ready?" I ask. I sit down and take a cup and start to pour some coke from the pitcher. I decide it would be better to stand up and pour so I do that.

"Let me help you," Hannah says.

"No, I can do it," I say. I start to pour and all the ice comes to the front of the spout and makes a bunch of ice spill into my cup and the coke spill down the side of the pitcher and onto the table. None of it goes into my cup. I set the pitcher down and say, "sorry." I get a bunch of napkins and clean up the mess. Hannah pours coke in my cup and I tell her thanks.

"When will the pizza be ready?" I ask.

"I don't know," Hannah says.

"Why aren't you guys playing in the arcade?" I ask and I sit down. "I bet Adam could beat you at pinball," I tell Hannah.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Hannah says while smiling at Adam, "I'm pretty good at pinball."

"Sounds like a challenge," Adam says and he leans over and kisses her.

Usually I would say yuck and cover my eyes, but I don't this time. I put my elbows on the table and rest my chin in my hands and watch them. When they finish kissing they look into each others eyes and smile. It looks like they're really happy. I smile. I wonder if that's what love looks like. I keep staring at them until they look at me.

"Bye!" I yell and I get up and run back into the arcade. I think I hear them laughing.

I run over to Evan and watch him play Space Invaders. There's a boy watching him too. I put my quarter in line after his quarter. Evan's good at playing Space Invaders. He gets third place on the leader board!

When Evan leaves, the boy waiting puts his quarter in and I watch him play. He's pretty good too. Another boy comes to watch too and he puts his quarter in line after mine. We watch together and the boy playing is so good his turn lasts forever! He gets first place on the leader board!

When he leaves a start to pick up my quarter, but the other boy waiting pushes me a little bit and picks up my quarter and puts it in.

"Hey! It's my turn!" I yell at him. I push him and yell, "that was my quarter!"

He's bigger than me so my push doesn't move him at all.

"Go away little girl!" He says while laughing at me.

I put my hands on his side while he tries to play the game and push as hard as I can. I just keep pushing and it doesn't bug him at all!

"Ok, you asked for it!" I yell. I take a step back from him and yell as loud as I can, "HE STOLE MY QUARTER!"

The boy looks at me and laughs, but then he stops laughing and he stops playing the game because three of my brothers are standing behind me now. I look back and see, Brian, Evan, and Daniel.

"Did you steal her quarter?" Brian asks. He's glaring at the boy. So are Evan and Daniel.

The boy looks scared and says, "sorry, it was an accident."

"No it wasn't!" I yell. "You took it on purpose!" I punch the boy in his stomach.

Evan holds me back and says, "ok Heidi, that's enough."

"I think you should leave," Brian says to the boy.

"Ok, ok, I'm leaving. Sorry," he says.

"Thanks!" I say to my brothers.

"Any time," they say smiling at me. Evan and Brian leave.

Daniel says, "I'll stay here in case he decides to come back."

I smile at him. I get to finish the boy's turn which doesn't take long and then I get to take my turn. I play a little bit better than I did on my first turn, but still no where near the leader board.

When I'm done playing Guthrie runs in and says the pizza is ready. I run back to the table and squeeze in between Crane and Ford.

Everyone can fit at the big round table. There's a bunch of pizzas on the table and pitchers of beer and coke. I pick up a slice of pepperoni pizza and take a bite.

"Ow!" It's too hot.

"Wait for it cool," Crane says.

"Can I have more quarters?" I ask him.

"I don't have any," he says.

I walk around the table and ask almost everyone if they have any quarters but no one does. The only person left to ask is Adam, and I don't know if he's still mad at me.

"Sit down and eat your pizza," Adam says when I ask him if he has quarters.

"It's too hot," I tell him.

"It shouldn't be anymore. Go eat it."

"But first answer my question. Do you have any quarters?" I ask.

He glares at me and says, "go eat!"

I guess he's still mad at me. I go get my pizza and take it over to where Guthrie's sitting. I stand next to him and eat my pizza.

"Nobody will give me anymore quarters," I tell him.

"Me either," he says.

We each eat a second slice of pizza and I'm full. "I'm going back in the arcade." I run in there but no one is playing Space Invaders and I don't feel like watching people play pinball. Guthrie comes running in.

"It's boring in here," I tell him.

"Well, we're gonna be here for a while because they just got two more pitchers of beer!"

"Two!" I sigh. "What do you want to do?" I ask him.

"We could go outside," he suggests.

"Ok. Who do you think will say yes if we ask them?"

"Not Adam or Hannah," Guthrie says. "Let's ask Brian."

We run back to the table and ask Brian if we can go outside.

"Sure, just don't get lost," he says.

"We won't," I say and we run to the door.

* * *

It's really cold and dark outside. When we close the door we run around the outside of the restaurant on the porch that wraps around it. The only light outside is coming from the porch lights and the light from inside the restaurant.

"This is so boring!" I say. I go sit on the steps at the front of the restaurant and Guthrie comes and sits next to me.

We both sigh. "Hey, look at those icicles!" He yells.

I look up and see a bunch of icicles hanging from the roof. "Cool! Let's get some." I love eating icicles. They're like big popsicles. Look at that one," I say while pointing to a huge icicle. "It's gotta be at least three feet long!"

"Heidi, I think it's only about a foot long. Maybe not even that long," Guthrie says.

We both jump up and try to reach it but we're too short.

"We need a rock," I say.

"Yeah," Guthrie says.

We walk down the stairs and over to where the bushes in front of the restaurant are. We look around in the dirt for some rocks which is hard to do because it's so dark.

"I got some," Guthrie says. He starts throwing a few rocks at the big icicle but when the rocks hit it nothing happens.

"Those rocks are too small," I say. "You need a bigger rock." I look around in the dirt and find a few rocks that are about the size of a tennis ball. "Here," I give him one and he throws it. Guthrie's got good aim and hits the top of the icicle, but that doesn't make it fall either.

We look around for bigger rocks. "I found one!" I yell. It's the size of a softball. "Let me throw this one." I have to use my left hand so I won't have good aim but it's a big rock so it should work. I hold it in my hand and reach way behind my back and throw it as hard as I can right through the restaurant window!


	18. Chapter 18

**I'd just like to say thank you for reading my story. Thank you to those of you that review, it really means a lot. But I have to ask, if you don't like Heidi, please don't read my stories-or if you must read them could please not tell me you don't like her. I received the following review from a 'guest' :**

**"GUEST chapter 17 . 26m ago  
UGH! I don't find Heidi adorable at all. Does she ever get along? Does she ever behave? It is difficult to imagine the same brothers who raised each other so well, would produce an endless brat! Could you find a way to even out her character? I can't take her endless tantrums."**

**The only way I have to address your review is in this way because you are a guest and I can't PM you, so here goes:**

**You are right, Heidi is not adorable. Never has been, never will be. Yes she gets along sometimes and yes she behaves sometimes which I have written in the story. As far as the brothers producing an endless brat, maybe they would have, maybe they wouldn't have. Just remember in the show they fought with each other often and yelled at each other too. At the end of each episode they were always one big happy family. I don't want to even out her character and since you can't take her endless tantrums don't read the story.**

**There are so many great stories on fan fiction. If you don't like Heidi or my story, please stop reading and read someone else's. That's what I do when I start reading a story and find I don't like it. To read all the way to chapter** **17 about a character you clearly don't like is hard for me to understand. Your review is hurtful, which is what you intended it to be, especially as a guest.**

* * *

**If you're reading my story and you like it, please let me know. If you don't like my story and feel you must tell me that, just remember hurtful words tear people down.**

**And now back to the story,**

* * *

"Oh no!" Guthrie says.

"I didn't mean to do that!" I cry. "What do I do Guthrie, what do I do?"

"Run!" He yells.

"Where!" I yell back.

He grabs my hand and I run with him to the parking lot.

"Hurry, get in the back of the truck!" He yells and we both climb in.

"Now what?" I ask.

"Now we hide in here and see what happens. Maybe they won't know it was us. Look, the store guy is coming outside and looking around."

I look up and see a man looking around outside. He stands in front of the broken window and puts his hands in the air. "Who did this?" I hear him yell so I put my head down.

"Adam and Brian are outside talking to him," Guthrie says. "Now Brian's walking down the stairs."

"Guthrie! Heidi!" I hear Brian yell.

"Do you think they know it was us?" I ask.

"Yes!" He says. "Get down! Hopefully they won't see us."

We crouch down as low as we can.

"Guthrie! Heidi!" Brian yells again.

Now we hear Crane and Hannah yelling our names too.

"They're gonna find us!" I whisper to Guthrie. "Should we just come out?"

"I don't know," he whispers back.

"Guthrie! Heidi!" We hear Adam yell. "If you don't come out right now you're grounded for a whole month!"

"Oh man!" Guthrie says. "I don't want to be grounded for a month!"

"I don't either!"

"Come on," he says, "we have to come out."

"I can't! Guthrie I can't! I didn't mean to do that!"

"Come on, you can come out, it'll be ok," Guthrie says.

"No, I'm gonna be in so much trouble! Adam's already mad at me and now I broke a window! I didn't mean for that to happen!" I'm crying pretty hard.

"Ok, do you want me to stay here with you?"

"No, you should go. That way you won't be grounded for a month. Guthrie, I didn't mean to break the window."

"I know. I'll stay here with you," he says.

"Guthrie! Heidi!" I hear Brian yell.

"Sh," Guthrie says.

"I can't stop crying!"

"I think I see them in the truck!" Brian yells.

"Oh no! Guthrie I'm scared!" I cry.

"Get out of the truck!" Brian yells as he walks up to the truck.

Guthrie stands up and says, "we're sorry."

"Yeah, get out of the truck!" He yells.

Guthrie jumps out and Brian yells at me. "Come on, get out!"

"I didn't mean to do that!" I cry. "Please! You have to believe me!" I don't want to get out of the truck.

"Get over here!" Brian yells and he tries to grab me, but I move to the other side of the truck.

"Guthrie!" Adam yells. He's at the truck now. "Which one of you broke the window?"

I don't hear Guthrie say anything.

"Answer me!" Adam yells.

Brian is about ready to get in the back of the truck. If he does that I'm gonna jump out and run away! We look at each other and Brian yells, "you'd better not run!"

"Brian! Let me handle this. Take Guthrie back to the restaurant," Adam says. "Get out of the truck Heidi!"

I shake my head no and cry. "No. You're mad. I didn't mean to do that!"

"You're darn right I'm mad! You threw a rock through a window!" He yells.

"I didn't mean to do that! I'm sorry!"

"Get out of the truck! Now!"

"No! You're mad! I'm scared of you!"

"I don't care! You're gonna get out of the truck and go apologize to the store owner! Now!" He yells.

"Adam, I'm really sorry!" I cry.

Adam looks tired to me now. He starts talking instead of yelling. "Heidi, it seems like I've heard that a lot from you today. I am so mad at you right now and I am so tired of you. Get out, you need to apologize now. We'll talk about how sorry you are later. Come on," he says.

I shake my head no. "I'm scared," I say quietly.

I hear Adam sigh and he says, "of what?"

"I'm scared the man is going to yell at me," and I start to cry.

"Come over here," he says.

I move over to Adam and he lifts me out of the truck and puts me down. He kneels down in front of me and says, "Heidi, he might yell at you, and he might not. I don't know. What I do know is, you broke his window and you have to apologize."

I keep on crying.

"We'll do it together," Adam says. "Take my hand and walk with me."

I take his hand and we walk back to the restaurant and up the stairs together where Guthrie is waiting for us. We walk over to the broken window because that is where the store owner is standing. He looks at us and he looks mad.

"I'm sorry we broke your window," Guthrie says.

Then the store owner looks at me and I look down at the ground and try to hide behind Adam. Adam pulls on my hand so I can't stand behind him, and then he says, "Heidi, do you have something you'd like to say?" I feel him give my hand a little squeeze.

I look up and say, "I'm sorry for breaking your window."

"I'm very upset that you broke my window," the restaurant owner says. "Your dad said he would pay for the window and I'm sure you are going to have to pay him back."

I look at Guthrie to see if he corrects the man and tells him Adam's our brother and not our dad, but he doesn't. The man keeps talking but I don't hear what he says because I'm looking at Guthrie. I can't tell if his eyes are watering or not. I wonder if he's sad about the broken window or if he's sad the man called Adam our dad. Now Guthrie is saying something.

"Heidi," I hear Adam say.

I look up at him.

He looks at the man and says, "I don't think she heard you."

I look at the man and he says, "will you come inside and help clean up the mess?"

I nod my head and we all walk inside.

* * *

It took a while to clean up the mess and I wasn't a whole lot of help because of my cast. But Adam, Hannah, and the store owner helped us. After that Adam said it was time to go home.

"Daniel, are you ok to drive home?" He asks. "I know Brian and Crane aren't."

"Yeah, I'm ok. We could stay here a little longer and let these guys sober up if you want. I wouldn't mind staying," he says.

"That's 'cause you like those girls in the arcade playing pinball!" Evan says.

"Hey, I can't help it if some pretty girls need my help playing pinball!"

Everyone laughs and Adam says, "I don't care if you want to stay. "I'll drive the truck home now and you guys can come home when you're ready. Hannah and I will take Heidi home."

Crane says, "you have to take one more person with you. We can only get five people in the jeep."

"Can I go with you guys?" Guthrie asks. "Please? I want to ride in the back."

"I'll ride back there with him," Ford says.

"Please?" Guthrie asks.

"Ok," Adam says.

I don't even bother asking if I can ride in the back because I already know the answer.

"Alright, we're out of here then. Try not to stay out too late!" Adam says to Brian, Crane, Daniel and Evan. "We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow."

"Ok _dad_," they say and they all laugh.

I look at Adam to see if he's gonna say "don't call me dad", but he looks at me for a second and doesn't say anything back to them.

Hannah, Ford, Guthrie, Adam and I walk out to the truck. Guthrie and Ford get in the back. "Are you sure you want to ride back there Guthrie?" Adam asks. "It's going to be really cold."

"I'm sure!" He says excitedly.

I climb in the truck and scoot over to the middle. When Hannah gets in I lean against her and she puts her arm around me. Adam starts the truck and drives home while I listen to them talk. I'm not gonna talk at all the whole way home, so I close my eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

It's cold when I wake up. I hear people talking and I open up my eyes. I'm laying down on the seat in the truck and nobody's in here with me. We must be home. I sit up, move over to the door and open it. I get out and look around.

"Where am I?" I say out loud. This place isn't home. It looks like we're on the side of the road. I look at the front of the truck and the hood is up and that's where the voices are coming from. I walk over there.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"We're in the middle of nowhere!" Guthrie says. "The truck broke down!"

"What! We're in the middle of no where!" I yell.

"Guthrie, don't scare her like that!" Hannah says.

"Are we gonna freeze to death!" I yell.

"No," Hannah says. "Come over here."

I walk over to her and stand in front of her and she wraps her arms around me. "What are you doing?" I ask Adam. He's shining a flashlight at the engine stuff under the hood and, him and Ford are looking at something.

"He's trying to fix the truck," Guthrie says.

"But, what's wrong with it?" I ask. I look around and I see it's pitch black. "I'm scared! It's dark out here!"

"Go sit in the truck," Hannah says. "Guthrie, go sit in there with her."

We walk to the side of the truck and Adam yells, "don't touch anything!"

Guthrie puts his hand over my mouth and says, "don't say it!"

"Say what?" I ask, moving his hand out of the way.

"Don't say, "if I can't touch anything, how am I supposed to open the door and sit on the seat?"

I smile at him. "How'd you know I was going to say that?"

"I know you," he says smiling back.

We get in the truck and I ask Guthrie what's wrong with it.

"Adam and Ford thought it was the battery at first, but it's not. They don't know what it is now," he says.

"We need a new truck," I tell him.

"I know."

"Guthrie, if they don't know what's wrong with the truck, how are they gonna fix it?" I ask.

"I don't know, Adam said hopefully Brian and those guys will see us on the side of the road."

"What if they don't! We'll be lost out here!" I yell.

"Heidi, we're on the side of the road, how can they 'not' see us?" Guthrie says.

"What if they take a different road? We're gonna die out here!"

"Oh my god! No we're not! You're being stupid!" Guthrie yells. "Why would they take a different road? This is the only road to take!"

"You don't know that! We're gonna freeze to death!" I yell.

"Shut up! I'm so sick of you always saying that!"

Hannah opens the door and says, "what's going on? Why are you guys yelling?"

"Heidi's being stupid!" Guthrie yells.

"I am not! Guthrie's being mean!" I yell.

"Ok, calm down," she says. "You guys sound tired and you're being cranky. Adam and Ford are trying their best to fix the truck. Stop yelling at each other because that's not helping."

"Sorry Hannah," Guthrie says. "I'm gonna go see if I can help them."

Hannah moves out of the way so Guthrie can get out and then she gets in and shuts the door.

"Do you think we're gonna freeze to death?" I ask her.

"No," she says. It sounds like she's smiling but I can't tell because it's dark in here.

"But it's so cold Hannah! How do you know we're not going to freeze to death?"

"Because I know your brothers are going to take care of us. They're going to take care of you and they're not going to let you freeze to death," she says.

"I'm not stupid Hannah. People freeze to death because it's too cold outside. My brothers can't do anything about how cold it is outside. If I'm gonna freeze, so are they!"

She puts her arm around me and says, "I never said you were stupid Heidi. You're just letting your imagination get the best of you."

"Are you saying people don't die from freezing to death? Because I know they do! If I was letting my imagination go somewhere I would be thinking of axe murderers!" I think for a minute. "Or bears, or mountain lions! Now I'm scared Hannah! Do you think there are bears out here? Is a bear gonna eat us?"

"No Heidi," she says. She hugs me tighter with her arm. "We're inside a truck. A bear isn't going to get in here."

"But Adam, Ford and Guthrie are out there! They'll get eaten! We have to tell them to get in the truck!" I start to move towards the door to get out but Hannah holds me closer to her.

"Heidi, they're fine. Just calm down. Why don't we talk about something else while we're waiting."

"Like what?" I ask. I don't think there's anything we could talk about that would take my mind off bears, mountain lions, or freezing to death.

"Did you like shopping today? Was it fun picking out a present?"

That is something I definitely don't want to talk about! I feel the ring in my pocket and say, "yeah, it was fun. What else do you want to talk about?"

"How about the broken window?" She asks.

"Why would I want to talk about that?"

"I don't know. Is there something you want to talk about?"

"Yeah, bears, mountain lions, and freezing to death," I tell her.

I hear her sigh a little bit. "Anything besides that?"

"Nope." I'm quiet for a minute and then I ask, "what if someone else stops to help us before my brothers come with the jeep? What if he's an axe murderer, or has a shotgun and wants to steal our truck. What if he leaves us out here to die!"

"Stop talking Heidi," Hannah says.

"No. What if that really happened? How would my brothers find us?"

"Stop talking," she says in a serious voice.

"No. Hannah, I'm scared and I'm cold. I'm already starting to freeze to death!"

"No you're not! Calm down!" She sounds mad now.

I push her away from me. "No! Stop saying that! I'm not going to calm down!"

The passenger side door opens and someone shines the flashlight inside. I hear Adam yell, "Why are you yelling at Hannah!"

I stare at him. "Because she keeps telling me we're not gonna die out here and I know we are!"

"Stop saying things like that!" He yells. "Just sit in here and be quiet! I don't want to hear another word out of you! I'm trying to fix the truck and it's hard to do that with you yelling in here!"

That makes me cry. I want him to fix the truck.

"Can I get back to fixing the truck now?"

"Yes," I say, while crying.

He shuts the door and walks around to the front of the truck. Hannah puts her arm around me and hugs me close to her. "We're going to be ok Heidi. Your brothers will be here soon."

"If Ford and Adam can't figure out how to fix the truck, how are they gonna help?" I ask her.

"I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

We've been sitting in the truck for what seems like forever, when I hear a car drive up behind us.

"Is it the jeep?" I ask excitedly.

"I think so," Hannah says.

We get out of the truck and look behind us. It is the jeep! I run up to Crane as he gets out of the jeep.

"You're here, you're here! You came to save us!" He laughs and picks me up and starts walking towards the truck with everyone else.

"What happened?" Brian asks.

"Oh, I don't know," Adam says. "This darn truck," he kicks the truck when he says that, "I thought it was the battery, but it's not."

Crane puts me down and him and Brian look at the engine stuff now too. They start talking about truck stuff and what could be wrong with it, but I don't know what they're talking about. Everyone else starts saying what they think is wrong too. Even Guthrie chimes in. They all seem to be getting mad and frustrated with the truck and each other. Then they start yelling at each other.

"Hold it!" Hannah yells. Except her yell is just a really loud serious voice.

Everyone stops yelling and looks at her.

"You guys yelling at each other doesn't help anybody. Why don't some of you stay here to work on the truck and I'll drive the jeep home with some of you and someone can drive the jeep back to get you."

"That's a good idea," Adam says. "Daniel, why don't you go with them and bring the tool box back with you."

Then Adam and Crane tell Daniel other tools to bring back with him and Hannah, Guthrie, me and Ford get in the jeep and Daniel drives us home.

* * *

When we get home I race over to the house and run up to the front door. It's dark and the door's locked so I have to wait for Hannah to open it. Once I'm inside I run up to my room and shut my door. I take the ring out of my pocket and look at it.

It's so pretty. My stomach starts to feel bad though. I quickly put it in my top dresser drawer so I don't have to look at it and feel bad. There's a knock at my door.

"Are you getting ready for bed?" Hannah asks.

"Yes."

"Good. Just checking. Do you need any help?"

"No, I can do it all by myself," I tell her.

It takes me longer to put my pajamas on without help but I can do it. When I'm all dressed I go look for Guthrie. I want to show him the ring.

I walk downstairs to the living room but I don't see him anywhere. I walk over to the Christmas tree and look at the ornaments. Here's one Adam made in school. It's a star he made with his school picture glued on it. He looks little in the picture. I wonder what grade he was in.

I look at more ornaments and see a lot with my brother's school pictures on them. I look at my baby ornament my mom made for me. I touch it. I wonder what she was like.

"What are you doing?" Hannah asks.

I stop touching the ornament. "Nothing. Just looking at the ornaments. Do you know where Guthrie is?"

"He's upstairs. It's time for you to go to bed now," she says. "I'll be up in a minute to say goodnight."

"Ok," I tell her. I wait for her to go into the kitchen and then I touch my ornament again. I wonder if she ever got mad at my brothers. I take the ornament off the tree and go upstairs to my room. I lay it on my bed and go down the hall to the boys' room.

* * *

"Guthrie, come here," I say at the doorway. He's all ready for bed and he's on the top bunk looking at a magazine.

"Why?" He asks.

"I want to show you the present I got for Hannah," I whisper loudly.

"I thought you didn't buy anything," he says.

"I didn't."

His eyes get big. "What did you do? How do you have a present if you didn't buy one?"

"I'll show you. Come on."

He gets out of bed and we go in my bedroom and shut the door. I open my dresser drawer and take out the ring. "See," I say, holding it out for him to see.

"Heidi, how'd you get that?"

I stare at him.

"Did you steal it?" He asks.

I just keep staring at him and I don't say a word.

"You did, didn't you? Heidi, you can't do that! You're gonna get in trouble!"

"How? Nobody knows I took it. Besides, it's the perfect present for Hannah," I say.

"It looks expensive. Not really expensive, but it looks like it costs more than five dollars!"

"It was twenty dollars," I tell him.

"Adam's gonna be mad at you," he says.

"How's he gonna find out? I'm not gonna tell him."

"He'll just know," Guthrie says.

"But he stole things when he was little. Remember the story he told about putting the perfume in Crane's pocket? He did that."

"Yeah, and they got caught! They got in trouble too," he says.

"How do you know that?" I ask. "He didn't say he got in trouble."

"They always got in trouble when they did something wrong."

"Why don't they ever _say_ that! Why do they always tell the funny part? The should say the bad part too. That's not fair!" I look at the ring. "Guthrie, what should I do? I feel really bad about taking it and I don't want to get in trouble."

"You already are in trouble because you took it. You knew you weren't supposed to take it. You should probably tell Adam. Or maybe you could tell Crane or Brian what you did. They might not be as mad," Guthrie says.

I feel really sad now. "What's the point of doing that? Everyone always tells on me to Adam anyway. If I tell them, they'll tell him."

"Well, you wanted him to be your dad."

I glare at Guthrie. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Maybe they wouldn't do that if you didn't go around telling everyone he's your dad," he says.

"They've always told on me before I said he was my dad. You're making me mad right now Guthrie. Why don't you want Adam to be your dad?"

"Because he's my brother! He's your brother too! He's not your dad!"

"Get out!" I yell at him.

"Fine!" He yells.

He opens my door and Hannah is standing right there! I quickly put the ring behind my back.

"Why are you two yelling at each other. It seems like you've been doing that a lot today."

We both shrug our shoulders.

"It's time to get in bed now," she says.

Guthrie leaves and I climb in bed with the ring still in my hand. Hannah comes and sits on my bed.

"Do you want me to read you a story?" She asks.

Normally I would, but I feel really nervous right now. I don't want her to see the ring.

"No thanks. You don't have to."

"I want too," she says.

"No."

"What's wrong? You look scared about something," she asks.

"I'm not scared of anything. Goodnight Hannah," I say, hoping she'll leave.

She smiles at me. "Goodnight Heidi." She kisses me on my forehead and then she leaves.

As soon as she's gone I quickly get out of bed and put the ring in my top dresser drawer. I get back in bed and look at my ornament. I wonder what it's like to have a mom. If my mom never died would I like dresses and have more dolls? Would I be good if I had a mom, or would I still do all this bad stuff? Would I have stolen the ring?

I turn onto my side and hold the ornament tightly in my hand and go to sleep.

* * *

I wake up because I hear people talking. I look at my clock. 12:30. I get up and walk out to the hallway. It's dark so everyone must be asleep. I hear the talking again and it's coming from Adam and Hannah's bedroom. I tiptoe down the hallway to their door and listen.

"I'm just so mad at her!" Adam says.

"I know. I don't think she meant to break the window on purpose," Hannah says.

"Oh no, she _never_ does anything on purpose! I'm sure she has an excuse for why breaking the window wasn't her fault! She always has an excuse! I can't wait to hear what this one is! Let's see, she'll probably say the rock slipped out of her hand, or she didn't know a rock would break a window, or what else can she dream up! Bottom line is, she didn't think!"

"You just need to calm down more. When you talk to her tomorrow I'm sure you won't feel quite as mad at her as you do now."

"I doubt it," Adam says.

Then they're quiet. I tiptoe back to my bedroom and get in bed. I hold my ornament and look at it. If my dad was alive would he be mad like Adam is? Probably. I hug my ornament close to me and close my eyes. Tomorrow I'm just gonna tell him I broke the window on purpose.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to my 'guest reviewer' for explaining your review. That made me very happy. I'm sorry your Mum won't let you have a fanfiction account, maybe she will soon! :)**

* * *

I don't say much during breakfast. It's weird having everyone home to eat it together. I listen to everyone talk and glance over at Guthrie every now and then too. He's not talking much either, so we just listen.

It sounds like there's a big hole in a fence that's going to take a while to fix. My brothers were able to get the truck home last night, but they still need to finish fixing it. Hannah is going to work right after breakfast so she won't be home. I wonder who's gonna stay inside with me and Guthrie today since we're still grounded. I hope it's someone fun like Ford, Evan or, well, I guess anyone would be fun except for Adam.

After everyone's done eating, Crane and Evan do the dishes, and Hannah leaves for work, and I go upstairs to my room.

* * *

When I get to my room I make my bed and tuck my ornament under my covers so it's hidden. It just looks like a little tiny lump on the bed. Then I get a book and sit on my bed to read.

Guthrie stands in my doorway and says, "Adam wants to talk to us."

I get up off my bed and walk to the door where Guthrie is still standing. "Move," I tell him.

"Heidi, just let me do the talking, ok?" He tells me.

I shrug my shoulders. "Go ahead."

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing. We'd better go downstairs before Adam gets mad," I say.

Guthrie gives me a funny look as I walk by him and he follows me downstairs.

Adam is sitting in the big comfy chair and he tells us to sit on the couch. "I want to talk to you about yesterday," he says.

I sit down and stare at him.

"I'm so disappointed you guys ditched your brothers in the store." He looks disappointed. He doesn't look mad which I guess is good.

"Sorry," Guthrie says.

"Sorry," I say also.

Adam looks at us and asks, "can you tell me _why_ you ditched them?"

We both stare at him and then Guthrie finally says, "no. I don't know why."

Oh my god! My brain is going crazy right now! I can think of lots of reasons why! But I'm not going to open my mouth.

"Do you know why I wanted you to stay with them?" Adam asks.

So they could pay for the present would by my answer and I can't think of any others.

"So we wouldn't get into trouble," Guthrie says.

That must be the right answer because Adam doesn't get mad. But my head is screaming, 'we didn't get into any trouble. I didn't break anything!' but I'm not going to say that out loud.

"You're being awfully quiet Heidi," Adam says to me. "Why?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"Did Guthrie tell you not to talk?"

I shake my head no even though he did, because I wasn't going to talk anyways.

"Did you guys know Daniel and Ford were very worried about you? They searched all over the store for you."

"I didn't know that," Guthrie says.

I just stare at Adam. I wonder how come they never found us.

"Are you listening to me Heidi?" Adam asks.

"Yes."

"Then what did I just say?"

"You said Daniel and Ford were worried about us and they looked all over the store for us," I tell him.

He looks a little surprised. "And what do you think about that?"

I shrug my shoulders because I'm not sure what to say and I don't want to say something that makes him mad.

"You two have got to start doing what I tell you to do. I'm adding two more days onto your grounding," Adam says.

"But that'll be on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!" Guthrie says.

I want to say that's not fair really bad!

"I'll give you Christmas Day back and you'll be grounded the day after instead. I want you guys to follow the rules and if you don't, I'm going to have to punish you. Now tell me about the broken window."

I stare at Adam and neither one of us says anything.

"I'm asking you a question. What happened with the window?" Adam asks.

"I broke it," I tell him.

"How did that happen?"

"I threw a rock at it," I say.

Adam is starting to look a little mad and I'm not sure why. I'm telling the truth. "Why did you throw a rock at it," he says a little angrily.

"Because I wanted too."

Adam looks mad now and Guthrie whispers, "what are you doing?"

I don't answer him.

"Why would you throw a rock at a window?" Adam asks.

"To break it," I tell him. Guthrie nudges me and Adam glares at me.

"What!" He's mad now.

"Adam, that's not what happened," Guthrie says.

I nudge Guthrie really hard and he says, "ow!"

"That is what happened," I say. "I wanted to break the window so I broke it."

"No she didn't! We were trying to knock an icicle down so we were throwing rocks at it and she accidentally broke the window," Guthrie tells him.

"That's what _you_ were doing," I say to Guthrie. "I was trying to break the window."

"No you weren't!" Guthrie yells. "Adam I don't know why she keeps saying that!"

"Guthrie, let's go talk in the kitchen for a minute."

They get up and go into the kitchen. I try to listen, but they're talking really quietly. After a while Adam comes back in and sits on the coffee table in front of me.

"What are you doing?" He asks me. He doesn't seem mad right now.

"Sitting on the couch," I say. Now he looks mad.

"Why are you acting like this? Guthrie told me what happened with the window. Why are you lying?"

"I'm not lying. I think he's lying. Maybe he doesn't want me to get in trouble for purposely breaking a window," I tell him. "Besides, I'm already grounded so what does it matter anyway?"

I don't think I should've said that because Adam looks really mad now. "What does it matter? Is that what you just said?"

"Yep."

"It matters a whole lot!" He yells and he reaches out and grabs my arm and pulls me up off the couch and puts me over his lap. He spanks me three times really hard! And then he stands me back up so I'm standing in front of him.

That makes me cry. "That hurt!" I yell at him.

"It was supposed to! Now are you going to tell me what happened with the window?"

"I told you! I threw a rock at it! I wanted to break the window!"

He pulls me over his lap again and this time he gives me four hard spanks. When he stands me back up I cover my face with my hands and cry into them.

"It was an accident!" I cry. "I didn't mean to do it. I was trying to knock an icicle down and I accidentally broke the window instead. I'm sorry Adam."

"Heidi, move your hands away from your face and look at me."

"I can't. I'm sorry I lied."

Adam puts his hands on mine and moves my hands down away from my face. "Why would you tell me you broke it on purpose?" He asks. He's talking quietly now.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know."

"I don't understand that. Heidi, I'm really upset that you broke the window. That tells me you weren't thinking. I told the same thing to Guthrie. You guys have got to start thinking before you do stuff. Don't ever throw rocks when you're near a window."

"Ok. I'm sorry."

"I was really disappointed you ran away and hid after you broke the window. You did the same thing when you and Guthrie knocked down the Christmas tree. When you break something you need to apologize, not run and hide."

"Ok."

"Heidi, yesterday you were really mean and bratty when you were trying to bug me and Hannah. I don't like it when you act that way. I was ready to spank you right there on the side of the road."

I start crying again. "I'm sorry." I cover my face with my hands again. Adam hugs me and I cry.

"Adam, do you still love me?" I ask.

He stops hugging me and holds me out in front of him so we can look at each other.

"Of course I still love you! Why do you think I don't?" He asks.

"Because you spanked me."

He hugs me again. "That doesn't mean I don't love you."

"But it hurt."

"It's supposed to hurt."

"I don't like being spanked," I tell him.

"Good. Remember that the next time you don't obey. I asked you to tell me the truth and you didn't, so I spanked you."

"Why couldn't you just ground me instead?" I ask.

"Because I get to decide. Sometimes I ground you, sometimes I send you to your room or to bed early, and sometimes I might spank you. But when I do those things it doesn't mean I don't love you. Ok?"

I nod my head. "It doesn't feel like you love me when you do those things."

"I know. But, I do." We hug each other for a while and then Adam says, "Heidi, we need to talk about how you're going to pay for the window now. Sit down on the couch."

I sit down and it hurts a little tiny bit. "I don't know how to pay for the window."

"Hannah is going to work for a few days after Christmas to pay the restaurant owner, but you're going to have to pay her back."

I start to cry again. "I'm sorry. I don't want her to have to work."

"I know. I don't either, but that's the only way we can afford to pay for it right now. We don't have a lot of money."

"You can take my Christmas present back," I suggest.

Adam smiles a little. "Five dollars isn't going to pay for the window."

"How much is it going to cost?" I ask.

"I don't know yet, but my guess is at least two hundred dollars."

I cry. "I'm sorry! I'll look for windows the next time I throw rocks!"

"Why don't you just not throw rocks instead."

"Ever? Even if me and Guthrie are trying to play a game with them, like trying to hit a tree branch? Or what if we're throwing them in the river?"

Adam sighs and smiles a tiny bit, but he also looks a little tired. "Just think of what could happen the next time you want to throw a rock. Ask yourself if it would break something or if it would hurt someone. If it might do that, don't throw it. Ok?"

"Ok. How am I gonna pay Hannah back?" I ask.

"Maybe while she's working you could do some of the things she does around here."

"Like what?"

"I don't know yet. It's hard for you to help because of your cast. Maybe me, you and Hannah can figure something out."

"Ok. Adam? Did your dad ever spank you?"

"Sometimes."

"Did he spank all you guys?"

"Sometimes," he says.

"You know that story you told about stealing the perfume for mom's Christmas present? The perfume you put in Crane's jacket pocket?"

"Yes."

"Did you get in trouble for that?" I ask. I hope they didn't.

"Yes, I think so. Why?"

"Just curious. Do you remember what your dad did when he found out."

"You mean besides yelling?" He asks. He's laughing.

"Did he do something besides just yelling?"

"Why all the questions, Heidi? I don't remember, I think I was ten or eleven."

"Well, when you were ten, what would happen if you stole something? How would you get in trouble?" I ask.

Adam looks at me and it looks like he's thinking about something. Then he asks, "did you steal something Heidi?"

I stare at him.

He sighs. "You did, didn't you?"

I shake my head no really fast. "No."

"You aren't lying to me are you?" He asks in his serious voice.

I look up at him. I'm scared and I don't know what to say. If I say I stole something, I'll get in trouble. "No," I finally decide to say.

He sighs. "Stand up."

"Why?" I ask.

"Just do it."

I don't want to, but I slowly stand up. Adam puts his hands on my arms at my sides and looks in my eyes. "Did you steal something, Heidi?"

My eyes start to water. I should tell him about the ring, but I'm afraid to. "No."

"You sure are acting like you did," he says. We stare at each other for a while. "You know if you tell me now it'll be better than me finding out later."

"What do you mean?" I ask quietly.

"If you tell me now, I might not be as mad as I would be if I found out later."

"Oh. But either way you'd be mad, right?"

He sighs. "Heidi, come on now. If you stole something, just tell me."

If I tell him now, I will get in trouble. If I don't tell him, he might never find out, and then I won't get in trouble at all. "I didn't steal anything. I promise."

His eyes look a little sad, but he hugs me. "Ok, if you say so. But if you ever need to tell me something you can."

"Ok, I will." I hug him back. "Who's gonna stay inside with me and Guthrie today?"

He picks me up as he stands up. "I don't know," he says, smiling at me. "Who do you want to?"

"You'll let us pick?" I ask, smiling back at him.

He carries me into the kitchen where Guthrie is. He's playing solitaire at the kitchen table.

"Guthrie, Adam said we could pick who stays inside with us today," I tell him as Adam sets me down.

"It should be someone who will actually play with us," Guthrie says.

"Yeah," I say. "Not you, or Brian, or Crane. You guys always have stuff to do. You never play with us."

"Not Evan or Daniel either," Guthrie says. "They'll just want to talk on the phone."

"That just leaves Ford," Adam says. "The only problem with that is, I don't think I trust you with him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask Adam.

He smiles at me, "it means, I think you would get into just as much trouble with him, as you would without him."

"I don't think so," I tell him.

"I know. Hmm, who was it that you lied to yesterday? You told someone Daniel was taking you to get a drink of water when we were out shopping? Wasn't that Ford?"

"Hey, he believed us," Guthrie says while smiling.

"I'm going to go find Evan. You two sit here at the table and don't move. I'll be right back with him. I mean it, don't move!" He's smiling but we also know he's serious.

"How am I supposed to breath if I can't move? Or blink my eyes?" I ask as Adam walks out the back door. I try to think of other things when Guthrie says, "how are you supposed to talk if you can't move, Heidi. You're moving your lips. Maybe you shouldn't do that."

It sounds like he's making fun of me. "Are you mad at me?" I ask him.

He keeps playing his solitaire game. "No."

"It seems like you are."

"Well, I'm not," he says, not looking at me. "I heard Adam spank you."

That's embarrassing. I forgot he was in the kitchen. "So," I say quietly.

Guthrie keeps playing his game and says, "so, are you glad he's your dad now?"

That makes me feel sad. "What do you mean by that?"

"Just that maybe if he wasn't your dad, but just your big brother, he wouldn't have done that."

"You know that's not true. He's spanked you before," I remind him.

I don't think he liked that because he looks up from his game and glares at me. "He's just our brother Heidi! He's not our dad! My dad's dead!"

I start to cry. "Why can't he just be my dad then? He doesn't have to be yours."

"He can't! He's not your dad either! We both had the same dad, and your dad's dead too!"

"Why are you so mad at me?" I ask. I don't like it when Guthrie's mad at me.

"Because you think he's your dad," he says.

I cry more until I hear the front door open. I know Adam is back with Evan, so I wipe my eyes. They both walk into the kitchen and they both sit down at the table.

"You two are going to do what Evan says to do," Adam says. "When I come back in for lunch, I don't want to find out you gave him a hard time. Ok?"

"Ok," both Guthrie and I say.

"Good," he says and he gets up and leaves.

"I hear you guys want me to play with you?" Evan asks.

"Will you?" Guthrie asks excitedly.

"Maybe after I make a few phone calls."

Both Guthrie and I sigh. This isn't gonna be fun.

"Evan, will you please play with us?" I ask.

"Yeah, after I make some phone calls," he says again.

"How many are you gonna make?" Guthrie asks.

"I don't know. Why don't you guys play something until I'm done." He gets up to leave and says, "I'll be upstairs in my room. Don't do anything dumb."

Then he leaves to go upstairs. I get up and follow him into the living room and watch him go upstairs and drag the telephone from the hallway into his room. I walk back into the kitchen and sit down at the table across from Guthrie.

"What do you want to do Guthrie?" I ask him.

"I'm doing it," he says while playing his solitaire game.

"Don't you want to play something together?" I ask.

"Not with you," he says.

"Why?"

"Because I'm mad at you."

"Why? Because Adam's my dad?" I ask.

"He's not your dad! Quit saying that!"

"No! He is my dad!" I yell.

"No he's not!"

"Yes he is!" I reach across the table and mess up his cards.

"Hey!" He yells.

I start to cry. "Guthrie, please don't be mad at me. Please?"

"Will you quit saying he's your dad?" He asks.

I cry and nod my head.

"And he's just your big brother?"

I nod my head. "Now will you play with me?"

"Maybe," he says. He starts picking up his cards and shuffling them, then he deals them out to play solitaire again.

"You're not going to play with me?" I ask.

He doesn't answer me. "Are you ignoring me?" He still doesn't answer. I don't know why he's so mad. Usually we don't stay mad at each other for a long time. "Guthrie? I'm sorry." He just keeps sitting there playing his game. "I'm really sorry Guthrie. Why won't you talk to me? Please don't be mad at me." He keeps ignoring me and now I'm starting to get mad. "Fine, you're gonna ignore me? I'm gonna ignore _you_!"

I get up and leave the kitchen. I'm gonna go tell Evan. I go upstairs to the boys' room. I can hear Evan talking on the phone so I quietly open the door a little bit until he sees me.

"Go away!" He whispers loudly.

I shake my head no. He puts his hand over the talking part of the phone and says, "what do you want?"

"Guthrie's being mean to me," I tell him.

"So," he says.

"Will you play with me?"

"I'm on the phone! Go away! Go play with someone else!" He says.

"Like who?"

"I don't care! Anyone but me!" He starts to talk on the phone again and since I'm still standing in the doorway, he gets up and pushes me out and shuts the door.

I sigh. I guess I'll go find someone else to tell Guthrie's being mean to me. I walk downstairs, put on my jacket and go outside.

* * *

I stand on the porch and look around to see if I see anybody to talk to. I don't see anyone so I decide to go out to the barn. If nobody's in the barn I can at least talk to Lucy.

I go inside and look around. Nobody. I sigh and walk over to Lucy's stall.

"Hi girl," I tell her as I open her door. She neighs at me and let's me walk up to her and hug her. I give her some fresh hay and pet her neck.

"Lucy, Guthrie's mad at me. I don't know why he doesn't want Adam to be my dad. He won't play with me, but that's ok, I'll just play with you. Do you want to go for a walk?" I ask her. I pet her nose and look into her eyes. I love her so much. "I'll go get a rope," I tell her.

I come back with a rope and put it around her neck loosely. I walk her out of the barn and take her around the barn for a walk. I talk to Lucy as I walk her around and that helps me feel better. I take her over to some bales of hay that are stacked up and I climb on top of them.

"There. Now I can look into your eyes. Do you want me to brush you?" I jump down. "Stay here," I tell her and since I can't tie the rope onto something with my cast on, I wrap it around the water spigot. I run into the barn to get a brush and race back out to her.

"There you go," I say as I brush her. I brush her a lot. I haven't done that in a while. After I've brushed her whole body I get back up on the bales of hay to look into her eyes. "I wish I could ride you," I tell her as I pet her nose.

I hear a noise over by the barn door and see Crane there putting the tool box back in the barn. Maybe I could talk to him. When he sees me he walks over.

"What are you doing out here?" He asks.

"Talking to Lucy," I tell him as I pet Lucy.

"Why aren't you inside where you're supposed to be?"

"Because there was no one to talk to or play with inside." I say.

"Heidi, you know you're not supposed to be outside."

"Evan said I could," I tell him and then I kiss Lucy.

"I'm pretty sure he didn't tell you to go outside. Stop petting Lucy and look at me."

I turn and look at Crane. "What?"

"What exactly did Evan say?" He asks.

"He said go find somebody else to play with. Guthrie's being mean to me," I tell him. Then I go back to petting Lucy.

"How's he being mean?"

"He's saying mean things to me."

"Like what? Stop petting Lucy and look at me," he says.

"I don't know, just mean stuff. He won't play with me either."

"Why don't we go back inside together. It's almost lunchtime and maybe I can talk to Guthrie and see what's going on," Crane says.

"No, I'd rather stay out here with Lucy," I tell him as I pet Lucy.

"That wasn't a choice. We're going inside together."

"Aw, do I have to? I'm having fun out here with Lucy."

"Yes you have to. Go put Lucy back in her stall. I'll wait for you over by the truck. I'm almost finished with it," he says and he walks away.

I pet Lucy again and tell her, "sorry, I have to put you back. Come on girl." I take her rope and jump down from the hay bale and walk her back into the barn.

"What are you doing out here?" Brian asks. He's putting stuff away.

"Putting Lucy away," I tell him as I walk by him.

"You're not supposed to be out here."

"Evan said I could, and I've been talking to Crane and Lucy," I say.

Brian laughs a little and says, "I don't think Evan told you that."

"Yes he did."

"I'd love to hear you explain that to Adam," he says while laughing.

"What'd you mean?"

"Nothing. Let's go have some lunch."

I run over to the truck where Crane is just shutting the hood on the truck.

"You're dirty," I tell him while laughing at him. He's got grease all over his hands and face and his clothes.

He puts his finger on my nose and rubs a little grease on it. Then he laughs at me. "Now you're dirty too."

"Hey!" I yell and I give him a push. He picks me up and swings me around until I laugh and then he puts me down. I run over to the house and when I run up the porch steps I stop because I hear yelling inside.

"What'd you mean you don't know where she is!" I hear Adam yell.

"I don't know!" Evan yells. "She's just not here!"

"Well, it doesn't sound like you were watching her very well!"

Brian and Crane come up the stairs behind me. "Why aren't you going inside?" Brian asks.

"Because Adam's yelling at Evan and he sounds mad," I whisper.

"Gee, I wonder why he could be mad," Crane says, smiling at Brian as they walk by me and into the house.

"There she is!" Evan yells when he sees me through the door.

"Where the heck have you been!" Adam yells at me.

I stare up and him and I don't say anything. Right now I don't know what to say because I think I probably shouldn't have gone outside.

"Why are you outside!" He yells.

I look up at him and very quietly say, "Evan told me I could."

"No I didn't!" Evan yells. "I don't know what she's talking about Adam!"

Adam glares at me and says, "you'd better start explaining!"

"Guthrie was being mean to me and Evan wouldn't play with me. He told me to go find someone else to play with," I tell him. "I guess I shouldn't have gone outside?" I ask.

"You think!" He yells while glaring at me.

Brian says, "come on boys, let's go get some lunch made." Evan, Ford and Daniel follow Brian and Crane into the kitchen where I assume Guthrie still is. "We'll tell you when it's ready," he says to Adam while patting him on the back.

"Heidi, you know when you're grounded you're supposed to stay inside!" Adam yells.

"Unless you have chores to do outside," I tell him.

He glares at me. "Right. And did you have any chores to do?" He asks.

"No," I say quietly.

"Then what are you doing outside!" He yells.

I start to cry. "I was talking to Lucy! I couldn't find anyone to talk to! Guthrie was being really mean to me! When I told Evan that, he said he didn't care! All he wanted to do was talk on the phone! So when he told me to go find someone else to play with, I went outside to look for someone. I just wanted someone to talk to. Guthrie's being really mean to me today."

He doesn't look as mad anymore. "How's he being really mean to you?"

I don't think I want to tell him what Guthrie said about Adam not being my dad. "He wouldn't play with me," I say instead.

"That's not a good enough reason," he says.

"He said mean stuff to me."

"Like what?" He asks.

"I don't want to tell you," I say.

"Why not?"

I stare at him.

"What did he say Heidi?"

"He said mean stuff about you," I say quietly and I look down at the floor.

"Oh." He says kind of quietly so I look up at him.

"I don't want to make you sad," I say.

"Why don't we eat some lunch and we can talk about what Guthrie said after that. Ok?"

"No!" I yell. "I don't want to tell you what he said!"

Adam sighs. "Ok, we'll talk about it after lunch."

We walk into the kitchen and I go sit down at the table and watch everyone get lunch on the table. It looks like we're having some kind of sandwiches and chips and grapes. I wonder if there's cookies or something for dessert. Guthrie sits down at the table across from me. I look at him and he's looking at me and he looks mad. He's glaring at me and that makes me sad. Usually I'm the one that's mad and he's sad.

Everyone is sitting down and talking to each other except for me and Guthrie. I don't know what my brothers are talking about but all of a sudden they start laughing and Daniel says, "ok, _dad_!"

I look at Guthrie and he looks mad! He stands up and yells, "he's not the dad! Quit saying he's the dad!" Then he looks at Adam and yells, "you spanked Heidi today! You're not supposed to do that! You're her big brother! You're not her dad!"

Everyone stares at him and he starts crying and he runs out of the kitchen.


	20. Chapter 20

"Guthrie!" I think almost everyone yells.

Adam gets up and goes after him. I start crying and Crane, who's sitting next to me, hugs me.

"Why is Guthrie so mad?" I ask.

"Heidi, he'll be ok," Crane says.

"Yeah," Daniel says.

"But he's so mad! He was mean to me today!" I cry. Crane pulls me up out of my chair and onto his lap. "Guthrie said our dad is dead!"

I hear a lot of sighs and groans from my brothers, and I look around at them and they all look a little sad. I don't know what to say to them now because I don't want to hurt them and make them sadder.

"Crane, can I go to my room?" I ask.

He looks at me and says, "are you sure you don't want to stay down here and talk to us?"

I shake my head no so he lets me off his lap and I leave the kitchen. I wonder where Adam and Guthrie are. I walk upstairs and when I walk by Adam and Hannah's bedroom I hear talking. They're in there. I sit on the floor by the door and listen.

"It's ok Guthrie," I hear Adam say. "It's ok to be mad."

"But why does she have to say she's your dad? And why'd you have to spank her! Brothers aren't supposed to do that to their sisters!"

"Guthrie, look at me," Adam says. "Look at me." They're not talking for a while so Guthrie must not be looking at him.

"Guthrie, we've talked about this before. Do you remember?"

I wonder what Adam means by that.

"Yes," I hear Guthrie say quietly. "But Adam, why _can't_ you just be the big brother? Why do you have to be a dad too?"

"Because that's what I am," Adam says.

"Well, sometimes I don't like it!" Guthrie says.

"I know. Guthrie, what did you say to Heidi today they mad her upset?"

They're quiet for a while and then I hear Guthrie say, "I told her not to call you dad." Then I hear him crying. "And I told her our dad was dead!"

I think Adam must be hugging Guthrie now because I hear him crying. I know Adam would hug me if I was crying like that.

"I'm sorry Adam!" Guthrie says. "I also told Heidi you wouldn't have spanked her if you were 'just' her brother. But I knew that wasn't true."

"Guthrie, Heidi is really happy that I'm her dad. So when you tell her I'm not, she gets sad. Or sometimes mad. Let me be her dad. It doesn't mean I have to be your dad, I can still just be your big brother."

"Adam, I know you're our dad. I'm just not used to Heidi knowing that. It bugs me when she says that and I don't know why."

"It sounds like you might be a little jealous. Just give it some time and you might not feel that way."

They're quiet for a minute and then Guthrie asks, "How come I can't remember my real dad?"

"Because you were two," Adam says.

"But I should be able to remember _something_ about them."

"It's ok that you don't. It's hard for Ford, Evan and Daniel to remember them too. That's why Brian, Crane and I try to tell you as much as we can about them. We're telling those things to Heidi too. Just because I'm your big brother _and_ your dad, doesn't mean I don't want you to forget about dad. He's still important, he's just not here to _be_ your dad."

I wonder what they're doing now because they're quiet. Then Adam says, "does any of that make any sense to you?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I got so mad. I guess I should tell that to Heidi too."

"I think she would like that. I would like it if you would stop telling Heidi I'm not her dad. She's still figuring all this out. Ok?"

"Ok. Thanks Adam."

They're probably hugging now because they're quiet. Now I hear footsteps coming towards the door so I stand up and try to run away before the door opens, but I'm not fast enough.

"What are you doing out here?" Adam asks.

I stare up at him and say, "nothing."

Guthrie smiles at me and says, "I bet you were listening to us."

I'm so happy to see Guthrie smile at me. I nod my head and say, "yes."

"I'm sorry Heidi. I'm sorry I yelled at you about Adam not being your dad." He hugs me and I hug him back.

"I'll try not to say Adam's my dad in front of you," I tell him.

"That's ok Heidi, you can call him that, I promise I won't get mad at you."

That makes me happy too. When we're done hugging Guthrie says, "so what do you want to do?"

"We could play a game or something," I suggest. I'm happy he wants to play with me again.

"Not so fast," Adam says. We both look up at him. He looks at me. "You're in your room for the rest of the day."

"Why!" I ask. That's not fair!

"Because you left the house while you were grounded and you _know_ you're not supposed to do that. I don't care if you were looking for someone to talk to or not. So you're in your room until dinnertime."

"Dinnertime! That's a long time! What am I supposed to do for that long?" I ask.

"You'll figure something out."

I glare at him and think. "What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

"You can come out for that, and you know it," he says.

"What if I get thirsty?"

"You shouldn't."

"But what if I do?" I ask.

"Tough luck," he says.

"What if something accidentally comes out of my room? Can I go get it?"

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"Like, what if a ball bounces out of my room. Can I go get it?"

"How about we close your door and then that way you don't have to worry about things coming out," he says.

"No! Don't do that!" I hate being in my room with my door closed! "Can I come out in the hallway?"

Adam walks to my doorway and takes his foot and moves it across the floor in my doorway. "That's the line. You can't cross that line. Understand?"

"Yes," I say while smiling at him.

"Why are you smiling?" He asks.

"No reason," I say still smiling at him.

"I mean it," he says. "Don't come out of your room. I don't know what you're thinking in your head, but you'd better not come out."

"Ok," I say and I walk into my room. I turn around and say, "have fun working outside."

He looks at me and folds his arms across his chest and glares at me. "You're gonna be sorry if you come out."

"Don't worry, I'm not coming out."

Adam gives me another glare and then walks down the hallway. Guthrie follows him and as they walk down the stairs I hear Adam say, "no phone calls Evan. Why don't you play something with Guthrie."

"That's not fair. How come I get grounded when they do?" Evan complains.

"Make sure Heidi stays in her room the _whole_ time," I hear Adam say, and then I hear the front door close.

* * *

"Guthrie!" I yell from my room. "Guthrie!"

"What?" He yells from downstairs.

"Come here!"

I hear Guthrie running upstairs. "What?" He asks when he gets to my room.

"What do you want to play?" I ask.

Guthrie sighs. "Heidi, you're supposed to stay in your room."

"I know. I am. He didn't say _you_ couldn't come in though," I tell him while smiling.

Guthrie looks like he's thinking about that.

"I don't know," he says. "Somehow I think we'd get in trouble for that."

"Well, then I could sit in the doorway and we could play a game there," I suggest.

"I don't know something seems wrong about that too. Besides, Evan might tell."

"We wouldn't be doing anything wrong. Besides, Evan wouldn't tell on us. All we have to do is let him talk on the phone and not make him play a game with us."

"Ok. What do you want to play?" He asks.

"Let's play Sorry."

Guthrie goes back downstairs to get the game and talks to Evan.

"Evan you don't have to play a game with me," I hear him say.

"Why?"

"'Cause me and Heidi can play a game in her doorway. That way you get to talk on the phone."

"Sounds good to me," Evan says.

Evan and Guthrie come back upstairs and Guthrie sits down in front of my doorway while Evan takes the phone in the hallway and carries it into his room. We take the game out and start playing. After a while we get bored.

"Sorry isn't as fun when there's only two people playing," Guthrie says.

"I know. Do you think Evan will play with us?" I ask.

"No!"

"What should we do instead?"

We think for a while. "We could play catch with something," Guthrie suggests.

"How about playing the throwing game instead!" I say. We've played that game before and it's fun.

"Ok, what do you want to throw?" Guthrie asks.

"And what should the target be? Remember, I have to stay in here."

I look around my room. "Books?" I ask.

"No, too big," Guthrie says.

"Shoes?" I suggest.

"Those are as big as a book. We need something smaller." He looks around my room. "I know, crayons!" He says.

"Yeah. Now what's the target?" I ask.

We look around. "The light on the wall by the door! We have to get it inside the glass part where the lightbulb is!" Guthrie says.

I look at the light. It's attached to the wall and Hannah says it reminds her of a hurricane lamp. "Ok." I say.

Guthrie runs to his bedroom to find all the crayons in there, and I get all mine out and we meet at my doorway.

"You have to throw with your left hand like I do," I tell him.

"Ok."

We start throwing and it's a lot harder than it looks. It takes us some practice throws to get the distance and finally Guthrie gets one in.

"Yes!" We both say. We keep on throwing until there aren't any crayons left.

"Hey!" He says.

"What?"

"Now _I_ have to go down and pick them all up!" He says.

I laugh. "That's a lot of crayons down there." I laugh some more and then say, "why don't you throw them into my room and see if you can get them all in."

He runs downstairs and starts picking up crayons and throwing them up here. They're landing all over the place! When he's done, he tries to get the crayons out of the light, but he's too short. "I'll just get those later," he yells up.

He runs upstairs and when he gets to my doorway he laughs. "Look at all the crayons! They're all over the place!"

"I know. Guthrie, I'm hungry."

"I'll go ask Evan if we can eat something," he says as he runs down the hall. He opens the bedroom door and Evan yells for him to get out.

"Hey! It's my room too!" Guthrie yells. "We're hungry. Can we have something to eat?"

"Yes! Now go away!"

"But, what can we have?" Guthrie asks.

"I don't care! Anything you want! Now go away!"

Guthrie slams the door shut and runs back to my room.

"What do you want to eat?" He asks me.

I think for a minute. "How about cookies, chips, and Coke?"

"Sounds good to me," he says and he runs downstairs to the kitchen.

* * *

Guthrie and I played in my doorway for the rest of the afternoon. When the front door opens Hannah and Crane walk in.

"Hannah!" I yell down to her.

She smiles up at me and takes her jacket off and hangs it up. "Why don't you and Guthrie come help me and Crane with dinner. Guthrie runs downstairs.

"I can't," I tell her. "I have to stay in my room."

"Why are there crayons on the floor?" Hannah asks.

Guthrie shrugs his shoulders and picks them up and throws them up to me. We laugh and then he walks into the kitchen. I wish I was downstairs with them. I hate having to stay in my room. Evan opens his bedroom door and puts the phone back on the tiny phone table in the hall.

"Is someone home?" He asks.

"Yeah, Hannah and Crane," I tell him.

When he gets to my doorway he stops and laughs. "What did you guys do today?"

I look around and see crayons all over the floor. The Sorry game is still out in the hallway. There's an empty bag of chips and two empty Coke cans, and a deck of cards laying in the hallway too. "We just played," I tell him.

"Well, you'd better clean up the mess before someone sees it or trips on it twerp!" He smiles at me and goes downstairs.

How am I supposed to clean it up if I can't leave my room to put things away? Now I'm bored. I can't wait until it's dinnertime. I tiptoe around the crayons on my floor to where my books are. I pick them up and put them on my bed. I sigh. I've read all these so many times the last few days since I've been grounded. I sit on my bed and open one up to read.

It smells like we're having fried chicken tonight. It smells so good! I bet we're having mashed potatoes too. I hear the front door open and I jump off my bed and start to run towards my door, but I slip on a crayon and fall down. It didn't hurt so I laugh, but I guess I should pick them up. Maybe I'll do that later. I look downstairs and see the rest of my brothers coming inside.

"Did you get the fence fixed?" Crane asks from the kitchen.

"Yeah, finally! That was a pretty big hole," Brian says.

"Ahem!" I yell loudly.

They all look up at me.

"Can I come out now?" I ask.

"I said dinnertime you could come out. Did you stay in your room?" Adam asks.

"Yep!" I say nodding my head.

"Hey Evan," Adam yells into the kitchen. "Did Heidi stay in her room?"

"Yeah!" I hear Evan yell from the kitchen.

Everybody walks into the kitchen now. I hate being up here all by myself! I move some crayons out of the way and lay in front of my doorway. I hear Brian talking in the living room so lift my head up. He's talking to Daniel. They're both coming upstairs.

When they get to my doorway, they stop and laugh just like Evan did.

"What?" I ask.

"Don't you think you'd better clean up this mess?" Brian says.

"I will," I tell him. "Later."

"Who said you could have chips and Coke?"

"Evan. Why?"

"He _said_ you could have chips and Coke?" Daniel asks. He's laughing.

"Yes. He said we could have whatever we wanted."

They shake their heads and laugh again and walk down the hall to the boys' bedroom. Why does everyone think this is so funny? I lay my head back down until I hear someone else coming up the stairs.

"What's all this?" Adam asks.

"What?" I ask.

"What do you mean what? The mess! How did all this stuff get here and who said you could have Coke?" He looks around some more. "And chips! And why are there crayons all over the floor?"

"Guthrie and I were playing a game with the crayons and Evan said we could eat something. He said we could have whatever we wanted." I smile a him. "I stayed in my room the whole time!"

He glares at me and Brian and Daniel are by my door now too.

"Hey," Brian says, "you told her to stay in her room, and it looks like she did what you said." Him and Daniel laugh.

Now Adam glares at them as they walk by on their way to the stairs. "Don't encourage her."

Then he glares at me. "What was Evan doing while you guys were doing all this?"

"I don't know," I tell him. "I had to stay in my room," I say smiling up at him.

He glares at me and I hear him say quietly, "one of these days I'm going to wring your neck."

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"Nothing. Clean up this mess and come down for dinner!"

I jump up. "I can come out now?"

"Yes, it's dinnertime."

"How am I going to clean up this mess with one hand?" I ask.

"Guthrie!" Adam yells.

Guthrie comes into the living room. "What?"

"Get up here and help your sister clean up this mess!" Then he leaves to go downstairs and Guthrie runs upstairs to help me.

* * *

"When are we gonna wrap our Christmas presents?" Guthrie asks. He's sitting across from me at the dinner table and I wish he hadn't said that.

"You can wrap your present after dinner," Hannah says.

"That reminds me," Adam says, "Heidi, you still need to buy a present don't you?"

I stare down at the other end of the table at him. Now what do I do? I decide to nod my head.

"You'd better go shopping soon," Guthrie says. "Tomorrow's Christmas Eve!"

"We can go shopping tonight," Adam suggests. "I think the General Store stays open until eight o'clock."

I stare at him and shrug my shoulders. What does he mean by _we_? "Who's _we_?" I ask.

"Me and you," he says starting to glare at me.

"Could Brian take me instead?" I ask.

"Why?" He asks.

"What if I picked you? How am I supposed to buy a present for you if you have to buy it for me?"

He doesn't look convinced. "I'll give you the money and you can pay for it yourself." He's still glaring at me.

"You're gonna let me walk around the store by myself?" I ask.

"You do that all the time in our General Store," he reminds me.

I guess there's no way of getting out of it. I look at Guthrie and he mouths, "sorry."

Everyone goes back to talking and I decide to ask Crane something. "Crane? What does it mean when someone says they're going to wring your neck?"

He smiles at me. "It means they're going to twist your neck. It's like how we kill a chicken. We wring its neck."

I stand up fast and yell, "hey!" Down at Adam.

Everyone stops talking and looks at me.

"You said one of these days you were gonna wring my neck!" I yell at him.

I hear some laughing and I hear Hannah say, "Adam!"

"Crane just told me what that means! You can't do that!" I yell.

"I wasn't going to do that," Adam says. It looks like he's smiling a little bit. "I'm sorry, Heidi. It's just an expression."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask him.

"Yeah Adam," Daniel says while laughing. "What's that supposed to mean?"

My brothers laugh and Adam glares at Daniel and then he looks back at me. "It's just something people say sometimes."

"Why'd you say it to _me_?" I ask. I glare at him and fold my arms across my chest.

He stares at me for a while before yelling, "because sometimes you drive me crazy!"

"So you're gonna kill me?" I cry.

"No he's not," Hannah says and she puts her hand on my arm.. She glares down at Adam. "Sometimes people say that when they're frustrated with someone, but they _never_, _ever_, do it." She's glaring at Adam some more.

"Sorry Heidi, I shouldn't have said it to you," Adam says. "I'm not going to _kill_ you." Then he glares down at Crane.

"What?" Crane asks. "I didn't know why she was asking."

I keep glaring at Adam as I sit back down. "I don't want to go shopping with you!"

He glares at me now. "Too bad!"

Darn! "Who else is going?" I ask him while still glaring.

"Can I go?" Guthrie asks excitedly. "Please?"

"Can he?" I ask too.

"No. It's just me and you," he says.

"That's not fair! That's boring too!" I yell.

"Tough luck! Go get your jacket, we're leaving now!"

"But I'm not done eating! Neither are you!"

"I'm not going to argue with you. Get your jacket!" He says in his very serious voice as he gets up. Hannah gets up too.

I get up and walk around the table and into the living room to get my jacket. I look at the kitchen and see Hannah whispering something to Adam. As I'm putting my jacket on I smell something funny. It smells weird over here by the door. I look around to see what it is but I don't see anything. It almost smells like a candle burning.

When Adam comes over to get his jacket he smells it too. He looks around and I keep looking around and then I look at the light fixture on the wall. There's a blue puddle down inside the glass. We never took the crayons out!

"I'm ready!" I say. "Let's go!"

"Hold on. Hey, Crane, Brian, come in here and tell me what you smell?" Adam says.

Well, that brings everyone in. Everyone looks around for the smell and I look at Guthrie. I motion with my eyes and lift my head up towards the light. He looks and his eyes get big. He looks back at me and we shrug our shoulders.

"Hey, what's this blue stuff in the light fixture?" Crane says. He looks closer and says, "it's crayons!"

Everyone looks at me and Guthrie and we stare back.

"How did a crayon get in there?" Brian asks.

We just stare at him.

"Hey remember that time we threw a plastic army man in there and it melted?" Ford asks.

Daniel laughs. "Yeah, that was a mess to clean."

"Why are there crayons in there?" Adam asks.

"We were playing a game and we forgot they were in there," Guthrie says.

"What kind of game was that?" He asks.

"The throwing game," I say quietly.

"What's that?"

"It's where you throw things at a target," Guthrie says. "The lamp was our target."

Some of my brothers laugh.

"Is that why all those crayons were laying all over your floor?" Adam asks me.

"Yes," I say quietly.

"Guthrie, you're going to clean the light while we're gone. Heidi, let's go!"

We walk out the front door and I don't think this is gonna be fun at all!

* * *

The ride into town is quiet. It's really dark outside too. It feels late at night to me but I think it's only six or seven o'clock. I have to think about how I'm going to buy a present without actually buying one. I don't want to buy a pretend present, but I don't know what else to do. My stomach hurts a lot because I keep thinking about the ring in my dresser.

"Do you know what you want to buy?" Adam asks.

"No."

"Have you thought about it?"

"No."

"Do you need some help?" He asks.

"No!" I definitely don't need help buying a fake present. My stomach is hurting worse. Maybe I should just tell him. "Adam?"

"What?"

I don't know what to say now. I sigh. "Nothing."

"Are you sure? Is something bothering you?"

"No." My stomach is killing me. I stare out the window. I feel like crying.

When we finally get to the store I get out of the truck and walk with Adam. He stops in front of the door.

"I'm going back to the hardware section. I need to buy some nails and a few other things. Is that ok? Or do you need to buy something from that section too?"

"No, I don't."

"Here's five dollars. If you find something that's four dollars and fifty cents that should be enough for the tax too." He puts his hand on my shoulder. "Don't touch anything, except for the present you're going to buy. Understand?"

"Yes," I say, and we walk in the store.

* * *

Adam walks to the back of the store and I walk around in the front of the store. I'm not sure what to buy. How do I buy a fake present? My stomach hurts. I know what to do! I walk around the store for a while and then I walk to the back of the store and find Adam.

"Are you done already?" He asks.

"I don't feel good," I tell him and it's the truth.

He feels my forehead and says, "you don't feel warm."

"My stomach hurts really bad!" I look up at him and try to look as sad as I can. "Can we go home?"

"What are we going to do about your present?"

"Can I buy it tomorrow?" I ask.

"I don't know if there'll be time to."

"Please?"

"Ok," he says. "Let's go."

We leave the store and I give him back the five dollars.

* * *

"Are we still going ice skating tomorrow?" I ask Adam as he's tucking me in. We always go ice skating on Christmas Eve. My mom and dad started doing that when my brothers were younger, so my brothers take us.

"Yes. We go every year," he says.

"What about my cast?" I ask.

"Oh, I didn't think about that," he says.

"Please let me skate, please?" I sit up and beg.

He laughs. "Lay back down." He looks in my eyes. "Well, you're a pretty good skater. I guess if we cover your cast in a plastic bag and hope you don't fall you should be ok. You'll just have to be really careful. No rough-housing on the ice with Guthrie or any of your brothers."

I smile really big, but say, "that's no fun!"

"You'll have to pretend you're playing hockey some other time. Besides the workers at the rink don't like it when you guys do that. Hopefully no one will get kicked out this year."

We smile at each other and Adam gets a book.

"No book tonight! I've read all my books over and over and I'm sick of them! I hate being grounded! Can you tell me a story instead?" I ask.

"Sure. What about?"

"I don't know, you pick."

He tells me a story about the Christmas he was ten and our mom and dad took him ice skating. I watch him while he tells the story and he looks happy. I put my hand on his hand and look at it while I'm listening. I pick it up and turn it over and open it up. I put my hand on his palm and look at how big his hand is compared to mine.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you doing that to my hand?"

"I don't know," I tell him. "I guess I'm just seeing how big it is compared to mine. You're hand is way bigger than mine!"

"That's 'cause you're so small!" He says and he smiles at me.

I glare at him. "I am not!" But I smile too.

"Hey, what's this?" He asks, as he picks up my Christmas ornament my mom made for me. I forgot it was here. I must have uncovered it by accident. "How come this isn't on the tree?" He asks.

"I was just looking at it the other night. Do you think I would be gooder if mom and dad were still alive?"

"What do you mean by _gooder_?" He asks.

"Just, would I not get in trouble so much? If I had a mom would I like dresses and dolls and would my favorite color be pink, like Denise's?"

"I don't know Heidi. There's a lot of things that might be different if mom and dad were still here."

"Like what?" I ask.

"Why don't we talk about that another time. You need to go to sleep now."

"Will you sing me a song?" I ask.

"Ok, but I still think you're stalling."

He starts to sing really quietly. It's a song my brothers sing to me because my mom sang it to them. It's a lullaby. I turn and face the wall and start singing very quietly with him. When the song is over he kisses my forehead and says goodnight.

"Goodnight," I say, and then I whisper very very quietly, "dad." My stomach feels a little funny now. Not a sick feeling, but a good feeling. I feel happy and then I close my eyes and think about going ice skating tomorrow.

* * *

"It's Christmas Eve!" I yell when I wake up. I smell bacon and something else. What is it? It's cinnamon rolls! I jump out of bed and run downstairs.

Hannah is at the stove making bacon and eggs. The cinnamon rolls are on the table so I grab one and sit down.

"How about a good morning?" Hannah says to me as she looks over at me and smiles.

"Good morning!" I say. "It's Christmas Eve! Where is everybody?" I ask.

"I don't know, but breakfast is almost ready so I'm sure they'll be in here soon."

"We get to go ice skating today!"

"I don't know about that," Hannah says.

My smile fades. "What do you mean?"

"I don't think you'll be going." She says.

I try to think if I did something wrong. "Is it because I'm grounded?" I ask.

"No. You can't go ice skating with a cast on," she says.

"What! Yes I can! Adam said I could last night! We all go ice skating together, Hannah. Our whole family! It's like when we pick out the Christmas tree."

"Well, I'll talk to Adam. Maybe you can go if you just watch," she says.

I sit at the table and glare at her. If Adam said I could skate why does _she_ have to talk to him about it. He's my dad, not her.


	21. Chapter 21

I'm very quiet at breakfast. I'm not liking Hannah right now. I hope when she talks to Adam she doesn't make him change his mind about ice skating.

"You're quiet this morning," she says to me.

I don't look at her I just nod and look at Guthrie instead.

"When are we going ice skating?" Guthrie asks.

"After lunch," Crane says.

"That's a long time to wait," Guthrie says.

When I'm done drinking my milk I slam my glass down on the table and everyone looks at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Are you trying to break that?" Crane says smiling at me.

"Nope."

"Do you think anyone will get kicked out of the rink this year?" Guthrie asks excitedly.

"I hope not," Adam says.

I slam my fork down on the table and everyone looks at me again.

"What's wrong Heidi?" Daniel asks.

"You're gonna break the table down there," Brian adds.

I pick up the plate of bacon and put a piece on my plate and then I slam the plate down on the table.

"Nothing's wrong," I say.

"Either say what's wrong," Adam says, "or knock it off!"

I decide to knock it off. I'm already grounded today and I don't want to make it worse. At least it's only for half a day because we get to go ice skating. I hope I get to ice skating.

While I'm eating I listen to everyone else talk about what they're going to do today. It's all boring stuff around the ranch, except for Daniel who has to go into town to get more chicken feed. I wish I could go. Guthrie and I look at each other.

"I wonder who's gonna babysit us today," he says sadly.

"Yeah, I hope it's Ford."

Hannah must be listening to us because she says, "I'm staying inside with you today."

I slap my forehead with my hand. "No!" I start to cry and everyone looks at me.

"What's wrong?" Hannah asks.

"This isn't a good day! It's Christmas Eve and it's supposed to be fun and now it's not!"

"You know why you're grounded," Adam says.

I sigh and stop talking. Everyone else starts talking to each other again.

"What are we going to do today?" Guthrie asks Hannah.

"You'd better not say schoolwork!" I say and I glare at her.

"I'm not going to have you do that on Christmas Eve, Heidi."

She looks a little mad now and then she looks at Guthrie and smiles and says, "I thought we could make some cookies and then I have some presents to wrap. How does that sound?"

"Sounds better than yesterday," he tells her.

That would sound fun to me if I wasn't mad at Hannah right now. "What do you mean you have presents to wrap? You have more than one?"

Hannah looks at me and says, "yes."

"For who?"

She just smiles at me. But presents gives me an idea.

"Adam!" I yell down to the other end of the table.

He stops talking and looks at me and yells, "what?"

Everyone gets kind of quiet and I ask, "can I go with Daniel to buy my present?"

He looks like he's thinking about that and finally he says yes.

"I don't want you fooling around in the store though," he says.

"What'd you mean?" I ask.

He glares down at me. "You know what I mean."

I do, so I don't say anything back. Now I can figure out how to pretend I bought a present with Daniel instead of Adam.

"We're leaving right after breakfast," Daniel tells me. "So make sure you're ready."

"Ok," I tell him and I smile.

* * *

The ride into town with Daniel is fun. We listen to the radio loud and sing along. When we get to the feed store I go in with Daniel and say hi to Cleo. She works here. Daniel looks around the store and I talk to Cleo because we're the only ones in the store.

"What are you and your family doing for Christmas?" She asks me.

"Later today we're going ice skating. Tonight we're going to church and tomorrow we open presents and have a big dinner," I tell her. "Cleo! You should go ice skating with us! I bet Ford would like that!"

"I have to work all day today. Well, only until three because we close early today. But I'll be at church tonight."

"Did you get Ford a present?" I ask her.

Her cheeks turn pink.

"I bet Ford got you one," I say and I smile really big at her. "Do you love Ford?" I ask.

Daniel walks up and says, "quit bugging her Heidi." Then he looks at Cleo and says, "sorry about that."

Cleo smiles and says, "it's ok, I don't mind."

She gets the chicken feed for Daniel and he pays.

"I bet Ford is going to give you your present at church tonight. Do you think you'll kiss him?" I ask the kissing part as Daniel is pulling me out of the store. She's smiling and I say, "bye," and wave to her outside the door.

"Quit bugging people like that," Daniel says.

"What'd you mean?" I ask. I smile up at him and he looks down at me and smiles.

"You know what I mean," he says.

"Do 'you' think Ford and Cleo will kiss tonight?" I ask as we walk to the General Store.

He laughs. "I don't know." He puts his hand on top of my head and messes up my hair. "And it's none of your business if they do!"

* * *

When we get to the General Store Daniel tells me I can walk around the store by myself.

"You find the present and I'll pay for it," he tells me.

"But Adam was going to let me pay for it all by myself last night."

"He told me to pay for it. He thinks you're up to something," Daniel says.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"I don't know, he wouldn't tell me. He just said he doesn't trust you to buy the present and he wants me to buy it. What _are_ you up to?"

"Nothing!" I say quickly and loudly.

Daniel laughs. "You are! Do you want to tell _me_ what you're up to?"

"Are you crazy! You'd tell on me!" I say.

"You really think I'd tell on you?" He pretends like he's sad, but he's smiling a little bit.

"You'd have to tell on me if you knew what I did," I tell him sadly.

He stops smiling. "What'd you do? You can tell me if you need to."

I shake my head no. "It really makes my stomach hurt when I think about it."

"It'll make you feel better if you tell someone," he says.

"I told Guthrie, and that didn't make me feel better," I tell him.

"Trust me, if you tell Adam now, you'll feel better. Maybe he won't be mad if you tell him now. If he finds out on his own, he's going to be really mad. Especially if he knows you're up to something."

"Maybe he won't find out and then he won't be mad at all," I say.

Daniel looks at me and he looks serious. "He's gonna find out. He always does."

He's right. I feel sad. "You're making my stomach hurt Daniel. Can I look for a present now?"

"Ok, I'll be in the back of the store. Come find me when you find your present. And if you ever want to tell me what you did, you can. I can go with you when you want to tell Adam."

That sounds good. It would be nice to have someone help me tell him. I look up at him and smile. "I'll think about it."

"Ok," he says, smiling back at me, and then he walks to the back of the store.

* * *

I walk around the store looking for a present, but mostly I'm thinking. How do I tell Daniel I bought something if he won't let me pay for it? I can't go home without a present either. I sigh. I look at a shelf that has breakable stuff on it. I'm just going to look, I'm not going to touch anything! Even though I really want to.

I look at everything on the shelf. There are snow globes, pretty bird statues, tea sets, and then I see what looks like a little tiny round breakable box. It's so small it looks like you could fit a quarter in it. Or a couple of quarters stacked up. It's white with little tiny purple flowers all over it. I very carefully take the lid off. It's so cute! There's a lady standing next to me looking at the snow globes.

I point to the little box and ask her, "what do you think people put in this?"

She smiles at me and says, "it looks like you could put coins in it, or jewelry, or, gosh, I don't know what else. It sure is a cute little box."

"Jewelry? Like a ring?" I ask.

"It would be perfect for a ring," she says.

I pick up the little box and look at the bottom of it to see the price tag. Three dollars and fifty cents. I sigh. I have to find something that's four dollars and fifty cents. Maybe there's a bigger box. I look around but don't see anything. I look back at the little tiny box. It's so perfect!

"Heidi, did you find something yet?" Daniel asks. I didn't even see him walk up to me.

"Daniel, this little box is the perfect present! But it's only three dollars and fifty cents!"

He's looking at me funny. Like he doesn't understand. "What's bad about that?" He asks.

"It's not enough. I have to find something that's four dollars and fifty cents."

He starts to laugh but then stops and just smiles. "You can buy that. It doesn't have to be four dollars and fifty cents, it just can't be _more_ than four dollars and fifty cents."

I look up at him.

"Do you understand?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I guess so."

He smiles. "Do you want to buy the box?"

"Yes."

"Then you have a dollar left to spend. Do you want to buy something else for a dollar to go with it?" He asks.

I think about the ring I have at home. "No, I just want to buy this."

He picks it up and we go pay for it. It'll be perfect to put Hannah's ring in.

* * *

When we get home I run inside to the kitchen. It smells good inside. Like sugar cookies.

"Heidi, we get to decorate these!" Guthrie says, pointing at a whole bunch of sugar cookies laying on the table.

I smile. That'll be fun. "I need to wrap my present," I tell Hannah.

"The wrapping paper is upstairs in my closet. Take the tape and scissors up with you."

I run over to the desk in the living room to get the tape and scissors, and then I run upstairs.

* * *

I run into my room and close my door. I take the ring out of my dresser drawer and put it in the little box. It's perfect. My stomach starts to hurt when I look at the ring. I guess I don't have to give her the ring, I could just give her the box. But what would I do with the ring then? I really want to give her the ring, even though I'm mad at her right now. I know she'll really like it.

I put the top on the box with the ring inside and put it back in my dresser drawer. Then I go get the wrapping paper.

I'm not very good at wrapping, especially with a round box, but with a cast on I can't do it at all.

"Guthrie!" I yell. "Come help me wrap my present!"

He runs up to my room and I shut the door.

"How are you going to wrap the ring?" He asks.

"Look what I bought," I say, and I show him the little box with the ring inside.

"Wow! She's gonna like it!" He says. Then he helps me wrap the present. I write Hannah's name on a tag and tape it to the present. The tag is bigger than the box and there's no room for a bow.

"Let's go decorate cookies now!" Guthrie says.

We run downstairs and I put Hannah's present under the tree.

* * *

I try to decorate cookies but it's just too hard to do with my left hand. I sigh and sit down at the table and watch Hannah and Guthrie decorate them.

"Are you a good ice skater?" Guthrie asks Hannah.

"I guess I was when I was a little girl, but I haven't skated since then."

"Why not?" I ask.

"I don't know, I just haven't," she says. "Are you good at ice skating?"

"Yep," I say. "I'll show you."

"You'll have to show me some other time," Hannah says.

"Why?" Guthrie asks. "Aren't you going with us Hannah?"

I glare at Hannah and she tells Guthrie, "yes, I'm going. But Heidi's not going to skate with a cast on."

Guthrie looks at me and he looks surprised.

"Adam already said I could, Hannah," I tell her again.

"I know. I just don't think it's a good idea," she says.

Guthrie looks at me because he knows I want to say something back, but I'm not going to.

"What if she skates carefully?" Guthrie asks.

"You never know what can happen out on the ice," she says while frosting a cookie.

Guthrie looks at me again. I'm getting madder and madder!

"What if someone accidentally bumps into her and makes her fall?" She says.

"But if Adam said she could skate, she should be able to," Guthrie says. I smile at him. "Adam is her dad, you know." I smile bigger.

"Oh I know that. I just don't think he's thought about it enough," she says.

I glare at Hannah again. I can't take it anymore! I stand up and yell, "he said I could! He's in charge! Not you!"

She keeps frosting her cookie and says, "Heidi, why don't you go to your room now."

"Why!" I ask.

"Because I told you to," she says. She doesn't even look up from what she's doing.

"No!" I yell and Guthrie looks at me and shakes his head.

Hannah looks at me and says in a really serious voice, "go to your room Heidi."

I stare at her. I'm not gonna move. "You can't tell me what to do! You're making me mad Hannah! If Adam said I could do something, you can't take it away!" I yell.

She looks really mad. "I know Adam has told you that if I tell you to go to your room, you need to go."

Guthrie mouths the word 'go' to me. I start to cry because I know she's right 'and' I know she's gonna tell on me for yelling at her and not going to my room right away. This isn't fair! "When's it gonna be lunchtime!" I yell. I want to talk to Adam.

"Go to your room now!" Hannah says in a real serious voice.

"Fine! But first I'm gonna tell on YOU!" I yell. I run to the front door, grab my jacket and run outside.

* * *

Once I get outside I run down the porch steps and put my jacket on. I look around to see if I can see anyone. I don't, so I run towards the barn.

I'm crying when I get there. "Adam!" I yell. "Adam!"

"He's not in here," Ford says. "What's wrong?"

"I need Adam! I need to talk to Adam! Where is he!"

"Calm down, Heidi," Ford says. He walks over to me and gives me a hug.

I push him away. "I need to talk to him!"

"I don't know where he is. I think he's out at the fence they fixed yesterday," Ford says.

"Will you take me there?" I ask. I wipe my cheeks, but the tears keep falling.

"No. You're supposed to be inside remember? Did Hannah say you could come out here?"

"No!" I cry. "I want Adam!"

"What's going on?" Evan asks. He's putting his horse, Diablo, away.

"She wants Adam," Ford tells him.

"Will you take me to him?" I ask Evan. "You could ride me out there on Diablo." I can't stop crying.

"No. He'll be here soon for lunch, though. Why don't you wait until then? He'll be here in probably a half hour." Evan says.

"No! I need to talk to him now!" I yell.

"Heidi! Calm down!" Evan yells.

Ford tries to hug me again but I won't let him. I run out of the barn and they chase after me. Evan catches me first and I hit and kick him.

"Let me go!" I scream. My brain keeps saying let go, let go, inside my head as I try to get away.

"Ok! Ok!" Evan yells. "We'll get him!"

I stop trying to get away from him now, but I'm still crying.

"I don't think we'll have to get him," Ford says. "I think they're coming now."

I look over to where Ford is looking and I see the jeep coming. Brian, Crane and Adam are in it so I start running towards it.

"Hey!" Evan yells. "Get back here! You can't run to it! You'll get hit!"

I run as fast as I can but Evan catches me and holds me back while I try to run forward. When the jeep gets here and stops, he lets me go and I run towards it.

"Adam!" I yell. "Adam!"

He jumps out of the jeep and I run towards him and he picks me up.

"What's wrong?" He asks. "Hey. Stop crying. What's wrong?"

I'm crying so hard, I can't stop.

"What's going on Evan?" Adam asks.

"I don't know. She just keeps yelling she needs to talk to you and she won't stop crying!"

"Heidi, calm down. Let's go to the house...," Adam says but I interrupt him.

"No! You can't go to the house!" I yell.

"Why? What's wrong?" He asks.

"Please don't go there," I cry. "Please don't."

"Ok. We'll stay here and you can calm down." He stands here holding me while I try to calm down.

"Brian, tell Hannah I'll be in in a little while."

I can hear through my crying that my brothers are leaving and walking to the house. Adam is quiet while he holds me and waits for me to calm down. After a while I finally get calm and he walks over to some hay bales and sits down on one with me.

"What's wrong Heidi?"

"Hannah won't let me go ice skating because of my cast!" And then I start crying again.

"Oh Heidi, I'm sorry," he says and he hugs me tighter. "That must've made you mad."

I nod my head. "I tried my hardest not to yell at her, but she wouldn't stop talking about it, so I yelled at her."

"Let me guess, you exploded?"

I nod my head. "I'm sorry Adam."

He sighs. "I know."

"Adam? She told me to go to my room and I said no!" I start crying really hard again.

Adam groans. "Calm down, Heidi." He rubs my back until I stop crying and calm down again.

"She won't let me go ice skating."

"I'm going to talk to her. Let me do that. You'll get to go ice skating."

"I will?" I ask. That makes me feel a little happy.

"Yes. Heidi, Hannah and I need to talk about this," he says. "It's going to be ok."

"Thank you!" I hug him tightly.

"But Heidi, if Hannah tells you to go to your room, you have to go. Even if you're mad at her, or don't think it's fair, you still have to do it."

"Ok."

"Are you ready to go back inside and have some lunch?" He asks.

I nod my head. "When are you going to talk to her?"

"Well, we're leaving after lunch, so very soon." He stands up with me and carries me to the house. "Did you buy a present today?"

Now I don't feel good. My stomach starts to feel bad again. "Yes," I say a little sadly.

"I feel like you're hiding something from me about your present."

I don't know what to say. I could tell him now, maybe he won't be mad. "I...," I start to tell him, but I can't say it.

"You what?" He asks.

"Nothing," I tell him.

"Are you sure? You can tell me."

"No I can't."

"So you're just going to let me find out on my own?" He asks.

"I'm hoping you won't find out."

"Heidi! That tells me you did something wrong!"

"It does?" I ask. "Are you trying to trick me?"

Adam groans and shakes his head as he walks up the porch steps and says, "girl, sometimes you drive me crazy!" He puts me down at the front door and says, "look up at me."

I look up.

"If you did something wrong you need to tell me now." He says that in his really serious voice and he looks serious.

I don't say anything.

"Heidi!"

"You'll be mad if I tell you."

"Then I will warn you now. If you don't tell me now, and you wait for me to find out later, I will be _very_ mad at you!"

I don't like the sound of that, but he might not find out at all. "I can't," I say quietly.

He kneels down and looks into my eyes. "Come on Heidi. You've already told me you did something wrong. Why won't you just tell me what it is?"

I stare at him. "I can't," I whisper.

He looks disappointed and stands up. "Ok."

We walk inside and I feel bad.

* * *

After lunch we get ready to leave. We have a big box full of ice skates that have been used throughout the years. They're mostly all worn out and we have all kinds of different sizes so I go through the box trying to find my size. Once I find them I get my scarf, hat, gloves and jacket and go sit on the couch with Guthrie.

"What are we waiting for?" Brian asks.

"Adam and Hannah are talking," Guthrie says and he looks at me and we smile at each other.

"Guthrie, will you let me be the enforcer first?" I ask.

"Maybe," he says.

We love to pretend we're hockey players. We don't have pucks or sticks or anything like that, we just like slamming each other into the wall like hockey players do. We learned how to play that from our brothers. Adam and Hannah's bedroom door opens and they come downstairs.

"Let's go!" Adam says.

I run outside. "Can I sit in the back of the truck!" I ask excitedly. "Please?"

"Me too?" Guthrie asks.

"No," Adam says. "Guthrie, you're in the jeep. Heidi, you're in the truck. Let's go everyone. Evan! Ford! Hop in the back of the truck!"

"What!" I yell. I glare at Adam. "Who's driving the truck?" I ask.

"Me," he says.

"Who else is gonna be in it?" I ask. I'm getting mad!

"Hannah," he says. "Hannah wants to talk to you."

I keep glaring at him and he walks over to me and says kind of quietly, "if you bug us this time, you are not going ice skating. You'll be sitting on the bench watching everyone else skate. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Good, now get in the middle," he tells me.

* * *

Everyone is quiet in the truck when we get on our way to the ice skating rink. It's not as far as Sonora, but it's still far from our house. We have to go up to the high country a little bit. We're all quiet until Hannah starts talking.

"Heidi, I'm sorry I told you you couldn't go ice skating," she says.

She's quiet for a minute and I don't know if she's expecting me to say something or not. If she is, I'm not saying anything.

"I shouldn't have said that. Especially since Adam already said you could."

She's quiet again and so am I.

"I just worry about you playing so rough with your brothers all the time. But Adam tells me you're really tough."

I look up at Adam and smile at him. He smiles back.

"Heidi, I didn't have brothers to play with like you do. I didn't have sisters either. I never punched anyone, or wrestled, or went out adventuring. You _are_ a really tough girl," she says. "I'm sorry."

"So if Adam says I can do something, you won't say I can't?" I ask her.

"Right," she says.

"Promise?" I ask.

"Yes. I'm sorry Heidi, will you forgive me?" She asks.

I look up at her and smile. "Yes!" I give her the biggest hug a person can give someone while they're riding in a truck. Then I look up at Adam and say, "thanks." He smiles and puts his hand on the top of my head and messes my hair up and I laugh.

"Hannah if you didn't fight, or wrestle, or go adventuring, what did you do?" I ask.

She laughs and says, "well, I still played. I played dolls and Barbies and when I was older I played sports."

Then Adam says, "Heidi, with that cast on, I want you to take it easy, ok? I know you're a good skater, but I also know you like to play rough. You have to be careful out on the ice, ok?"

"Ok." I don't think I want to know what taking it easy means, so I hope he doesn't tell me. "Can we listen to the radio?" I ask.

"It's ok with me," Hannah says.

I look up at Adam. "Me too," he says.

"Yeah!" I turn the radio on really loud and we sing along.

* * *

When we get to the rink I jump out of the truck and run to the back to get my skates. Guthrie runs over to get his and we race to the benches to put them on while my brothers go pay.

The rink is outdoors. It's cold outside and we always start with our jackets on and hats and mittens, and then we end up taking all that stuff off after about five minutes.

"So can I be the enforcer first?" I ask Guthrie.

"What's the enforcer?" Hannah asks.

"Guthrie whispers to me, "don't tell her what it really is." Then he says to Hannah, "it's kind of like a referee. They _enforce_ the rules."

I giggle and say, "it's like the police. The hockey police." Guthrie nudges me.

"Why do I get the feeling you're trying to trick me?" Hannah asks while smiling at us.

We shrug our shoulders. "I don't know," Guthrie says. "We're not."

"Let's go Guthrie," I say standing up. I already see Crane and Daniel skating. My brothers don't play with me and Guthrie anymore when we skate. They skate with girls now. I wish Cleo could've come for Ford, but I guess that means he'll play with us.

We get on the ice and skate around for a few minutes to get used to it and then we're off! There's not many people skating right now, but we know it'll get crowded later on. There's a worker that skates around to make sure people follow the rules. My brothers taught us tricks to do so we won't get caught doing things we're not supposed to do. If you do really bad stuff they kick you out for the rest of the day, but if you just do something that's only a little bad, they give you a warning. If you mess up again, you have to sit out for a little bit. It's kind of like the penalty box in hockey. At least that's what me and Guthrie call it.

I chase Guthrie around the ice and wait until the worker can't see me and then I plow Guthrie into the wall. We laugh and then it's his turn to be the enforcer. I skate as fast as I can and look behind me. He's coming up fast! Ow! Right into the wall! We laugh again.

"Don't push people into the wall!" The worker warns us.

We laugh and skate up to the wall by the benches. We take our jackets off, and our hat and mittens, and throw it all towards the benches.

"Hey," Hannah says, "come pick this stuff up and put it on the benches neatly."

We stare at her from the ice. "Why?" Guthrie asks.

"That's what people do. They don't throw their stuff all over the ground so everyone can step on it."

"We've never had to pick up our stuff before," I tell her. She glares at me. "But, ok. If that's what you want us to do."

We get off the ice and quickly pick up our stuff and put it neatly on the bench. Then we're back out on the ice playing tag.

We can skate really fast. We're so good that we can weave in and out and around the other people skating. Whenever I'm it, I try to tag Guthrie. But if I see one of my other brothers, I skate up real fast to them and tag them. Then I yell, "you're it!" I skate off and see if they'll play. Ford plays, and Daniel and Crane do for a little bit too. They don't play for long though, and it's just Guthrie and me again. The worker keeps warning us to skate slower until he finally tells us to sit out.

There's a bench near the entrance of the rink. It's right behind the wall on the outside of the rink. That's where you have to sit if a worker tells you to sit out. We skate over to the entrance and sit on the bench. Daniel skates up and laughs.

"Sitting out already?" We nod and he skates off to a girl and takes her hand. She laughs and they skate together while holding hands. There's music playing while everyone skates. Hannah is skating with Adam and they're holding hands too. She can skate pretty good, but not as good as Adam. When she sees us on the bench she lets go of Adam's hand and skates over to the wall in front of us.

"Why are you guys sitting out here?" She asks.

"This is the penalty box," Guthrie tells her.

"What's that?"

I start to say, "you know, in hockey? When the players do something...," and Guthrie kicks my leg so I stop talking.

"Do something what?" She asks.

"It's the box you sit in to watch the other players play. You just sit here for a few minutes and then you go skate again," Guthrie tells her.

"Why would you want to play that?" She asks.

"Hannah, have you ever watched hockey before?" I ask.

"No, not really," she says.

"We're just pretending we're hockey players," Guthrie says. "We're playing a game."

"Yeah, when I grow up I'm going to be a hockey player and I'm gonna be the enforcer," I tell her.

"No you're not!" Guthrie says and he laughs. "Girls can't play hockey!"

I glare at him. "Yes we can."

"Yeah but not for real," he says.

Adam skates by and Hannah skates out to him. The worker skates over and tells us we can skate again. We get out on the ice fast and I decide I'm going to skate with each of my brothers. I'm gonna go down the alphabet. Adam's first. I find him and skate up to him and Hannah. They let me skate in the middle while we all hold hands. I skate with them around the rink twice, and then I'm off to find Brian.

I look around for him and see he's over by the snack bar talking to a bunch of girls. That means Crane's next. When I find him he's skating with a girl and they let me skate in the middle too. I go around twice with them, and then I look for Daniel.

He's with a girl too, but he's skating backwards while holding the girl's hands and pulling her forwards. I skate over to them and try to skate under their arms and pop up in the middle of them, but it doesn't work very well and we all fall. I laugh, but they don't.

"Knock it off Heidi," Daniel says. Then he looks at the girl and says, "sorry, that's my _little_ sister." Then he glares at me. I glare back and go look for Evan. He's skating with Ford and Guthrie. I wonder what they're playing so I skate up to them.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Come here," Evan says to me. "Hold my hand and we're gonna skate really fast. Then I'm gonna whip you around and let go. You should go pretty far 'cause you're lighter." We skate fast and he whips me around and lets go so I go flying right into the wall. I laugh and then say ow, because Guthrie pushes me into the wall. I laugh again.

"You're the enforcer now! There's a new worker so we can play again until he tells us to stop."

We play enforcer until the worker tells us to stop and Adam skates up.

"I've been watching you," he says to me.

I look up at him and stare. "Yeah?"

"Yeah! Don't play enforcer!" He says.

"Ok?" I say it like a question.

"We can't anyway," Guthrie says. "The worker told us to stop."

"Good," Adam says. "You'd better start thinking," he says to me, "or _I'll_ put you in your little penalty box!" Then he says, "which, by the way, I don't appreciate you telling Hannah lies about the enforcer and the penalty box."

We stare at him.

"Yeah, she told me. She thought you guys were trying to trick her. I don't like it when you do that to her so I'm expecting you to apologize when you see her."

"Ok," we say.

Then he looks at me again, "remember take it easy out here. Think before you do stuff."

I nod at him and he skates off.

"Now what?" I ask. I look around at everyone skating. There's lots of people holding hands while they skate, and there's little kids learning how to skate, and people falling down. I laugh while I watch a boy about my age start wobbling, he catches himself so he doesn't fall, but it's still funny. "Guthrie, you know what I always wanted to do?"

"What? Skate around as fast as you can and then fall down on your knees and see how far you can slide?"

I look at him and smile really big and my eyes get big too, "no! But we should do that next!"

"Then what?"

"I want someone to throw me up and out in the air and see if I can land on my skates and skate off!" I tell him.

"Yeah, that would be fun! I don't think I can lift you that high. Let's find Ford."

We skate up and find Ford and tell him what we want to do. "I'll only throw you up a little way. You have a cast on, remember?" He smiles at me and picks me up and throws me out and I land on my feet and wobble a little bit but I don't fall!

The worker skates by and tells us not to do that. When he's gone I beg Ford to do it again, but higher.

"Ok, but this is the last time. Guthrie, tell me when the worker's not looking," he says.

"Throw me up really high since this is the last time," I tell him.

Adam skates up and yells, "don't do that again! Go sit out!"

"Me?" I ask. Ford and Guthrie skate off.

"Yes you! You're the one with the cast on!"

"How long do I have to sit out for?" I ask.

"Go!" He yells and points to the bench.

I skate as slow as I can and get off the ice and sit on the bench. I sigh and watch everyone skating. Hannah sits down next to me.

"Sitting in the penalty box?" She asks while smiling at me.

"Yes. Sorry we tricked you."

"Mmhm," she says.

"I wonder how long I have to sit here for. I think I've been here for half an hour," I say.

She laughs. "I sat down here right when you did. You've been here for a minute or two."

Adam skates up and she goes out on the ice. "How long do I have to sit here for?" I ask Adam, but he ignores me. I sit and watch everyone skate around and around. I'm tired of sitting so I stand up and move close to the wall and fold my arms up on top of it and lay my head down. When I see Adam and Hannah skate by I yell, "how long do I have to stay here?" They ignore me and keep skating.

Every time I see Adam skate by I yell the same question, but he ignores me. I feel like crying so I sit back down on the bench and cry a little. I'm getting cold sitting here too, but I don't want to get up and get my jacket in case I get in trouble for leaving. I try to put my knees up to my chest so I can hug them to stay warmer, but it's hard to do when I'm sitting on a bench. I'm trying to do that when Adam sits down next to me.

"Can I get up now? Please?" I ask. "I've been sitting here for probably an hour by now. I thought you forgot about me. And I'm cold too!" I look up at him. "But I didn't get up to get my jacket because I didn't want to get in trouble for leaving."

He puts his arm around me and hugs me close to him. "First of all, you've been sitting here for ten minutes."

"It seems like an hour!"

"Second of all, I didn't forget about you. I could never do that. Especially when you yell at me every time I skate by."

"You heard me?" I ask.

"It's hard not too," he says. "Third of all, I'm glad you didn't get up."

"Now can I get up?" I ask.

"Only if you don't skate too rough."

"Ok, bye!" I yell getting up.

"Hold it! What do I mean by don't skate too rough?" He asks.

I sit back down and sigh. I wanna skate! I don't want to think! I smile up at him and ask, "why don't _you_ tell _me_?"

He smiles back. "Nope."

I sigh again. "I'm cold!" He takes his jacket off and puts it around me. "Can you give me a hint?" I ask.

"Just use your brain and think," he says.

I sigh. "Ok, don't play enforcer, don't jump in the air, don't skate too fast...," I pause, "all I can do is skate around in a boring circle!"

He laughs a little bit.

"Hey! That's not funny!"

"Do you want to skate?" He asks.

"Yes. I'll skate around in a _boring_ circle," I tell him.

"Good. Now give me my jacket back and go skate."

"Can I skate with you?" I ask while smiling up at him.

"Sure."

We get up and go out on the ice.

"Hold my hand," I tell him. We start skating and he holds my hand. "Spin me around now." He lets me turn and spin around. Hannah skates up and I tell her she can skate with us too.

I have fun skating around with them especially when they let me skate in the middle of them and we're all holding hands. "Lift me up!" I yell.

"No," Adam says.

"Come on Hannah, skate faster." I pull on her hand and try to get her to skate faster.

"That's fast enough," she says, trying to slow down.

Guthrie skates right across in front of us super fast and that makes Hannah start to lose her balance. I try to let go of her hand but she tries to use me to balance, and she makes me fall backwards and the back of my head hits the ice first.

I start to laugh, but then I feel my head start to hurt really bad and I start to cry. I sit up and I feel dizzy. "Ow!"

"Are you ok?" Hannah asks.

"No, it hurts!" I cry.

Adam reaches down and pulls me up. I feel really dizzy so I start to fall down, but he holds me up. "Are you ok?" He asks.

I lean against him and he skates me over to the side. He takes me off the ice and sits me on the bench. He looks at the back of my head and then kneels down in front of me and smiles. "No blood," he says. I stand up and hug him.

Hannah sits down next to me and rubs my back.

"Hannah, you're supposed to let go if you're gonna fall," I tell her.

"Sorry," she says.

"Let's get your skates off," Adam says.

"No! I want to skate some more."

"I don't think so," Adam says. "I think you hit your head pretty hard. Stand up."

I let go of him and try to stand up but I feel dizzy, so I cry and lean against him and hug him again. He stands up with me and sits on the bench with me while Hannah takes my skates off. She takes them over to the benches where our shoes are and Guthrie skates up and leans against the wall.

"What happened?" He asks.

"She fell and hit her head," Adam says.

"You fell? You haven't fallen in a long time. I mean just from skating normally," he says.

"Guthrie, go start rounding up your brothers. It's time to go home," Adam says.

"Ok," he says and he skates off.

Hannah comes back with my shoes and my jacket and sits next to Adam. He sets me on the bench and leaves to go get his shoes. Hannah puts mine on for me and my jacket.

"Hannah, my head hurts. I think I have a headache," I tell her.

"I bet you do. You hit the ice pretty hard," she says and she puts her arm around me and I lean against her. "I might have some aspirin in my purse."

"Can we eat out tonight?" I ask her.

"No. It's Christmas Eve. I don't think anything's open and we couldn't afford it if it was. Besides, I'm cooking ham tonight." She looks over by the other benches and says, "look, I think everyone's ready to go."

I don't feel like standing up but I do. We walk over towards the truck and I don't even ask if I can ride in the back. I get in the front and scoot to the middle of the seat. Hannah gets in and I lean against her. We wait for everyone else to decide if they're sitting in the back of the truck, or riding in the jeep. Then Adam gets in and starts driving home and I close my eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up when we pull up to the house. It's almost dark outside. We get out of the truck and walk to the house. Once I'm inside I walk over to the couch and lay down on it. I'm tired and my head hurts. I curl up and close my eyes, but I open them when I feel someone sit down next to me where my feet are. It's Brian.

"I hear you hit your head," he says.

"Yeah, it hurts a lot," I tell him.

Hannah comes over to me with some water. "Sit up," she says. She hands me the water and some baby aspirin. I swallow the little pink pills and give her the glass back. She feels the back of my head and says, "yep, you've got a big bump back there. I'll go get some ice."

I groan and feel the back of my head. I definitely feel a bump. I move so I can lean against Brian and Hannah brings me a bag of frozen corn.

"Sorry," she says, "that's all I have right now."

Brian takes it from her and holds it on the back of my head.

"That hurts Hannah. Do I have to use it?" I ask.

"It'll help the bump go down, and it might make you feel better," she says.

I let Brian hold it and I stare at the Christmas tree. There's lots of presents under it. I wonder how come there are so many. I wish I could go over and look at them, but I'm tired so I close my eyes.

"Brian?" I ask quietly.

"What?"

"Did you ever steal something?" I ask that really quietly.

"What? Why?" He asks.

"Did you?"

"Yes. Why do you want to know?"

"How old were you?" I ask.

"I don't know. Why are you asking?"

"Just curious. Did you ever get caught?"

"Sometimes," he says. "Why are you asking?" I don't say anything so he asks, "did you steal something?"

"Do you think I'd get in trouble if I did?" I ask.

"You know stealing is wrong, right?" He asks. I nod my head. "Then don't you think you'd get in trouble if you did?"

"What if I could take it back?"

"What did you steal Heidi?" He asks.

"Nothing. But if I did, could I take it back and not get in trouble?" I ask. Maybe I can unwrap Hannah's present and take the ring out and wrap the box back up. Then I could hide the ring until we go back to the store and I could put it back. No one saw me take it, so no one might not see me put it back.

"Heidi, if you stole something you're going to have to take it back," he says.

"Would I go to jail?"

"They don't have jail for ten year olds," he says.

"Are you sure about that?" I ask.

He laughs. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Ok. I'm tired of talking now. I'm going to go to sleep."

He takes the bag of corn off my head and puts it on the couch. I snuggle up next to him and go to sleep.

* * *

The living room smells good when I wake up. Brian is asleep next to me. He must've taken a nap too. I sit up and my head feels better. It only hurts a little bit now. I get up and go into the kitchen.

"How do you feel?" Hannah asks me.

"Better," I say. "Can I help you?"

I think almost everyone is in here. I look around and it looks like Brian, Evan and Daniel are the only ones missing.

"You can help put the glasses on the table," she says.

I can do that. I can only carry one at a time though, so it's gonna take a while. Everyone is helping to set the table and get the food on the table.

"Guthrie go find Evan and Daniel and tell them it's dinnertime, Brian too," Hannah says.

"Dinnertime!" Guthrie yells from the kitchen.

Everyone either laughs or groans. I laugh.

"I could've done that!" Hannah says. "Go find them."

He runs off and I sit down at the table. There's ham and sweet potatoes, which aren't my favorite, and rolls, and green beans, and some sort of jello salad with fruit in it, and beets, which I hate, and wine. Wine? We never have wine.

"Who's the wine for?" I ask.

"Whoever wants some," Hannah says.

"Like me?" I ask, smiling really big at her.

"No, it's for the grownups," she says.

"Where'd you get it from?" I ask.

"A customer at Marie's gave everyone a bottle."

"Everyone in the whole restaurant?" I ask.

She laughs. "No, just the people that work there."

Everyone is sitting at the table now and Hannah asks Adam to pray. He thanks God for all we have and that we're all healthy, and then thanks him for the food. Then everything starts getting passed around. Crane and Hannah put stuff on my plate. They put everything on it even though I say no thanks to the sweet potatoes, green beans and beets.

Hannah pours herself a glass of wine. So does Adam and Crane. Brian gets a beer and Daniel gets one too.

"Can I have a sip of your wine?" I ask her.

She lets me have a sip. It tastes different. Kind of like grape juice but not really. Guthrie takes a sip too.

"I don't like it," he says.

"I kind of do," I tell her. "Maybe I should have another sip to see if I really do like it." I smile at her.

She smiles back and says, "no, one sip is plenty."

"I think it's supposed to snow tonight," Crane says.

"Before or after we go to church?" Evan asks.

"After," Crane says.

Guthrie and I look at each other and smile. "It's Christmas," he says, "and we're not grounded!"

"That means we finally get to go outside and play, _and_ there's gonna be snow!" I say excitedly.

We finish eating dinner and Hannah tells us we need to go get ready for church. Guthrie groans. Probably because he has to wear a sweater vest and a tie.

* * *

When I'm all dressed I go into Hannah and Adam's bedroom to wait for Hannah to be ready to curl my hair. They're already dressed too, and Hannah is curling her hair so I get up on their bed to wait. Hannah looks pretty. She still looks like Snow White to me except without the princess dress. Adam sits down on the bed and puts his shoes and socks on.

"Heidi, would you get my diamond earrings out of my jewelry box for me?" Hannah asks.

"Sure." I get up and drag the wooden chair over to her dresser. Once I'm standing on top of it I open the box and look for the earrings. "Are the diamonds real?" I ask.

"Yes. They were my mom's. She gave them to me when I graduated high school."

I find them and I hold them up to look at them. They're so pretty and sparkly. I jump down off the chair and give them to her.

"Now get the Christmas tree pin you've been wearing with your dress."

I get up on the chair again and look for it in her jewelry box. When I see her rings my stomach starts to hurt. I wish I hadn't stolen that ring. I think I'm going to tell Adam, I just have to wait for her to leave. Adam gets his tie and starts to tie it. Ford comes in and asks Hannah to tie his tie. When she's done tying it Guthrie comes in wanting her to tie his.

As Ford starts to leave I tell him, "I talked to Cleo at the store today." I smile at him.

He stops walking out and looks at me. He's smiling and his cheeks turn pink.

"Did you get her a present?" I ask.

"Maybe," he says.

I smile. "You did, didn't you? Are you gonna kiss her tonight?"

"Heidi, leave Ford alone," Hannah says.

He leaves and I look at Guthrie. He has a dress shirt on and now his tie. I laugh and he glares at me.

"Go put your sweater vest on now," Hannah tells him.

I laugh more and Hannah tells me to stop. I look at the jewelry in her jewelry box again. I wish Hannah would leave so I could tell Adam about the ring. Adam walks over to her and she ties his tie too. I laugh about that.

"What?" He asks.

"You're an adult and you don't know how to tie your tie!" I say.

He glares at me and says, "it's hard to do."

I just smile at him. Hannah leaves to go put her earrings on in the bathroom. "I have to clean them first," she says.

Good. Now I can tell him. "Adam?"

"What?" He asks while he's putting his fancy jacket on that matches his pants.

"I have to tell you something."

He looks at me and says, "what?"

I look down at the floor because I can't look at him. This is going to be hard. "I...," that's all I can say.

"What? You what?" He asks.

"I...," I say again.

"Heidi, whatever it is you can tell me. You know that right?"

I nod my head. "I...," I start again.

"Adam, telephone!" Crane yells from the hallway.

I didn't even hear it ring! Adam leaves and Hannah comes back.

"Let's fix your hair now," she says. "Didn't you find the pin?" She asks.

Oh, I forgot about that. I find it and jump down off the chair and give it to her to pin on my dress. I'll tell Adam when he's off the phone.

Hannah curls my hair and when she's done Adam yells from the hallway, "let's go everyone!"

When he comes back in his room to get his keys I say, "Adam, I really need to tell you something."

"Not now Heidi, we have to go."

He leaves the room to go downstairs. I guess I'll just have to tell him later.


	22. Chapter 22

When we get to church we have to park kind of far away because the parking lot is full. I run up to Crane and try to hop up on his back, so he bends down and I put my arms around his neck so I can ride piggyback to the church.

"Just don't strangle me with that cast of yours," he says.

When we get to the door there's a line to get in. It's very crowded. Crane puts me down and we finally get in and make our way to a pew about ten rows back from the front of the church. My whole family can fit in one pew. I sit in the middle with Crane on one side and Guthrie on the other. Everyone in church is talking to their neighbors and visiting. Cleo is sitting in front of me. Church doesn't start for a while so I stand up and talk to her.

"Hi Cleo."

She turns around and smiles. "Hi." She looks for Ford and when she sees him her cheeks turn pink, and I look at Ford and his cheeks are pink too. They're both smiling at each other.

"Cleo, did you bring a present for Ford?" I ask.

She nods her head.

"You did!" I yell. "What is it?"

"I can't tell you. It's a surprise," she says.

"Aw, you can tell me. I won't tell him."

Guthrie says, "Heidi. Ford wants you to stop talking to Cleo."

I look down at Ford and smile and he glares back at me.

"Are you going to kiss Ford tonight, and tell him you love him?" I ask.

Crane grabs me and puts me on his lap. "That's none of your business twerp," he says to me.

"Aw, come on Crane. Don't you want to know if they loooove each other?" I look up at him and smile.

"Nooooo," he says smiling back. "Now be quiet. Church is going to start soon."

"Can I look at that?" He's holding a paper in his hand. He hands it to me. "What is this?" I ask.

"It's the bulletin. It tells what's going to happen in the church service."

"It's got a lot of writing on it!" I say. "It's four pages! How long do you think this is going to take?"

"Probably an hour. Why?"

"Because I can't wait to have cookies."

He laughs. After the church service, everyone goes into a big room and has cookies and punch. It's like a party after church. That's when Ford and Cleo will give each other their presents. I'm gonna watch and see if they kiss. I look at the bulletin.

"Why is Hannah's name on here?" I ask while pointing to her name.

Crane looks at the bulletin and says, "she's going to sing a song."

"I love it when Hannah sings. She has a pretty voice."

Crane nods his head and the room starts to get quiet. I look around and see the little kids walking up the aisle to do their Christmas play. I get off Crane's lap and scoot past my brothers to the end of the pew, so I can see better. Adam's at the end and he lets me stand up next to him so I can see the aisle and the front of the church where the little kids are going. They look cute.

The play is hard to hear because they talk softly. They sing a few songs too. It's cute and funny when they mess up, but I'm so glad I'm not in it! When they're done everyone claps and I sit in between Adam and Hannah.

Church is a little boring for me. I try to listen to everything, but it's hard to understand. I like it when we get to stand up and sing songs. Finally it's Hannah's turn to sing. She gets up and walks out to the isle and up to the front. It's hard for me to see, so Adam lets me stand up again.

Hannah looks so pretty up there. She starts to sing and it makes me smile. I love her voice. I love it when she sings to me at bedtime. I look at Adam and he's looking at her and smiling. His eyes look sparkly as he watches her. I look back at Hannah and when she sees me she smiles a little bigger. When she's done she comes back and sits down.

"That was pretty," I whisper to her.

"Thank you," she whispers back.

I look at the bulletin and whisper to Adam, "where are we?"

He points and whispers, "the sermon."

I know what that means. The minister is going to talk for a while. I get a pencil and a bible out of the pew back in front of me. I put the bulletin on the bible and start drawing tic tac toe on it. I draw a circle in the middle square and then hand the pencil to Adam. He shakes his head no. I try to give the pencil to Hannah, but she says no too. I look down at Guthrie and I can see he's playing with Evan. I get up and start to walk back to Crane, but Adam won't let me. I put the bible and pencil back and sigh and lean against him. He puts his arm around me and I listen to the minister. I have no clue what he's talking about and I start to feel tired so I close my eyes.

I jump awake and open my eyes. I look up at Adam and he smiles down at me. I close my eyes again because I'm tired and the minister is still talking. I cuddle closer to Adam and fall asleep again.

I wake up again because I'm being moved. I open my eyes and sit up. Everyone is standing up and they're singing. I'm tired so I just sit and listen. After the song, church is over. Everyone talks to everyone and we all make our way to the big room where all the cookies are.

I run up to the cookie table and get a cookie.

"Hi!" Denise says as she runs up and hugs me.

"Hi! Merry Christmas!" I say, hugging her back.

She takes a cookie and we go get some punch. I see Ford and Cleo on the other side of the room.

"Denise, do you want to spy on Cleo and Ford with me? I think they're going to kiss!" I say.

"Sure!"

We run over to them and hide behind some chairs.

Cleo hands Ford a present. "I got this for you," she says.

He smiles and opens it. It looks like a small picture frame. I wonder what the picture is.

"I bet it's a picture of Cleo," Denise says.

Guthrie runs up to us. "Whatcha guys doing?" He asks.

"Sh! Get down! We're spying on Ford and Cleo."

"Oh," he crouches down with us. "Did they kiss yet?"

"No," Denise says. "But she gave him a present."

"I got this for you Cleo," Ford says. He hands her a present. "I hope you like it!"

She unwraps it and it's a little box. She opens the box and takes out a pretty gold necklace.

"It's beautiful Ford! I love it! Will you put it on me?" Her cheeks are really pink now. She hands him the necklace and turns around. Ford puts the necklace around her neck and tries to clasp it, but he can't. He looks nervous as he keeps trying to put it on. We laugh a little.

After what seems like forever Cleo says, "that's ok, Ford. I'll put it on later."

She turns around and they're close to each other. They stare at each other for what seems like forever and then Ford leans down a little and kisses her.

"Aw! That's so cute!" I say a little too loudly.

"Heidi! Guthrie!" Ford yells. "Go away!"

"It's ok, Ford," I hear Cleo say as we run off.

Denise's mom and dad come to get her. I say Merry Christmas to them and give Denise a hug goodbye.

"Maybe you can come over to my house sometime next week," I tell her.

"Yeah!" She says. "That would be fun!"

I run up to the cookie table to get another cookie. Brian is there getting one too.

"Guess what Brian!" I yell.

"What."

"Ford and Cleo kissed!"

He smiles at me.

"She gave him a picture of herself and he gave her a gold necklace. He couldn't put it on her though. He was too nervous," I tell him. I see Crane over by the punch table. "I'm gonna go tell Crane!"

I hear Brian laughing as I run off. It doesn't take long before I've told Crane, Daniel and Evan. That just leaves Adam and Hannah. I look around and see them talking to Marie. I run over to them.

"Guess what!" I yell.

"Heidi, it's not polite to interrupt," Hannah says.

I wait quietly for her to finish talking about the kids' Christmas play. When she's done I yell, "Ford and Cleo kissed! On the lips!"

"How do you know that?" Adam asks. He's not smiling like everyone else did when I told them.

"I don't know," I say quietly.

He glares down at me. Something tells me I shouldn't have told him.

"Can we go home now?" I ask to change the subject.

"Yes, it's getting late. Go tell all your brothers it's time to go," he says.

I run off to find everyone. The last person I have to tell is Ford. Him an Cleo are still over where I saw them kiss, except they're sitting in chairs now.

I run up to them and smile.

"What do you want?" Ford asks. He sounds a little mad.

"It's time to go," I tell him. I stand there staring at them.

"Ok, now go!" He sounds a little mad too.

I smile at Cleo and give her a little wave before I run away a little bit. I stop and turn around to watch them.

"Go!" Ford yells.

I run to the front door where the rest of my family is waiting.

"They're kissing again!" I yell. Everyone except for Adam and Hannah laughs.

"It's not nice to spy on people," Hannah says.

"Knowing Ford, you probably made him feel really nervous," Adam says. "More nervous than he already was."

"Guthrie was spying too!" I tell him.

Adam looks at Guthrie and then back at me. Ford runs up so Adam doesn't say anything else. We all walk outside together and my brothers start teasing Ford just a little bit. I don't think he likes it because he's not saying anything.

"Let's get out of here!" I say to Guthrie. "I'll race you to the jeep!"

I start running and I hear Guthrie running behind me. I might beat him this time because I got a little bit of a head start. Guthrie and I race to the jeep. We both touch the jeep at the same time.

"Tie!" He yells. "Let's get in the back of the truck. Then maybe Adam will let us ride in it."

We run to the truck and climb in. When everyone gets here Adam shakes his head no at us.

"Why can't we ride in the back?" I ask.

"It's too cold tonight. It's going to snow soon," he says.

Guthrie and I climb out of the truck and Ford and Evan climb in. I get in the front seat of the truck and scoot to the middle. Adam and Hannah get in, and he drives us home.

* * *

When I get out of the truck I run to the house and Ford runs up to me.

"I don't like you spying on me Heidi!" He yells.

I stop running and look at him.

"You told everyone that Cleo and I kissed! I'm mad that you did that!"

I start to cry. Ford is never mad at me! I don't like how angry he looks. "I'm sorry," I say while crying.

"You're always sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong! You need to mind your own business!"

"Ford," Adam says quietly, "that's enough. What she did was wrong...,"

"No, Adam! She embarrassed me in front of Cleo!"

I did? I didn't know that.

"Calm down Ford," Adam says. He puts a hand on his shoulder. Ford looks at me meanly and then he looks hurt and then he runs into the house. Adam looks down at me. "See what happens when you don't mind your own business?"

"Guthrie was there too!"

"And I'll talk to Guthrie about that. But you're the one that ran all over the place telling everyone they kissed. You really hurt Ford's feelings."

"I'm sorry," I cry. "I guess I didn't think about that."

"I think you need to tell Ford you're sorry. Don't spy on people like that. It's not nice."

"Ok." I walk into the house and look for Ford. I don't see him in the living room or kitchen so I go upstairs.

* * *

I knock on the boys' bedroom door.

"Who is it?" Ford asks.

"Heidi."

"Go away! I don't want to talk to you!" He yells.

"Please Ford? Please can I tell you I'm sorry?" I ask.

"Go away!"

I sit down on the floor and lean against the door and cry. "I'm sorry Ford! I'm sorry! I don't like it when you're mad at me!"

I hear footsteps coming towards the door and then a fall backwards a little bit as the door opens. I look up at Ford and he doesn't look angry anymore. "I'm sorry Ford. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I like Cleo."

"I know you do, and she likes you. But that was our first kiss and it was supposed to be special. You ruined it."

I cry. "I'm sorry. I was just so happy you guys kissed."

He smiles and sits on the floor with me. "Me too."

I wipe my cheeks and my eyes. "Are you still mad at me?"

"No. It's hard for me to stay mad at you. Especially when you cry." Ford leans over and gives me a hug.

"Can I see the present she gave you? Is it a picture of her?" I ask, smiling up at him.

"Yes," he says and he gets up to go get it.

He brings it to me and I take it. "She's so pretty," I say. Cleo gave him a small picture frame with her school picture in it. "Are you gonna kiss her every night before you go to bed?" I smile up at him.

He grabs the picture out of my hands and yells, "no!" He gets up and puts it on his bed.

"Then how come you're smiling and your cheeks are all pink?" I ask.

He looks at me. I know that look. He's gonna chase me!

"I'm gonna get you!" Ford yells.

I scream and laugh and race downstairs with Ford laughing and chasing after me.

"Brian! Brian!" I scream. He's the closest brother at the bottom of the stairs. "Help me!" I run up to him and try to hide behind him. "Ford's gonna get me!"

I laugh as Ford tries to reach me and when he finally does he tackles me to the ground and starts tickling me. I laugh really hard and try to get away.

"Stop!" I yell. "Stop!" I can't stop laughing.

"Say it!" Ford says while laughing.

"No! Stop!" I laugh.

"I'm not gonna stop until you say it!"

I can't stop laughing and I can't get away. I can't take it anymore! "Uncle!" I yell and Ford stops. I lay on the floor laughing.

Hannah brings hot chocolate and cookies out from the kitchen. "Gather around everybody," she says. "I've got some presents I want you to open."

"Now?" I ask.

"We don't open presents on Christmas Eve," Guthrie says.

"Well, I have something special for each of you." She walks to the tree and sits down in front of it. She starts taking presents out from under the tree.

"Ford," she says, and Guthrie takes it from her and hands it to Ford. "Evan, Daniel," she keeps handing out presents until we each have one to open. Each present is exactly the same size and shape.

"Can we open it now?" Guthrie asks.

"Yes."

Everyone is excited and starts opening their present. I tear the wrapping paper off mine and open the box. "It's pajamas!" I yell. The top is a white long sleeved shirt and it has a big horse patch sewn on the front. "Look," I yell, holding it up. "It's Lucy!" The patch looks exactly like her. I take the bottoms out. They're pink with little horses all over them. The material is so soft!

"Thanks Hannah!" I yell. I take my pajamas over to her and give her a hug. "They're so soft!"

"They're flannel," she says. "They'll keep you warm on cold nights like tonight."

"I love them! I've never had horse pajamas before! I didn't know you could make them."

I look around the room and everyone is holding up new pajamas. Everyone is telling Hannah how nice they are and thank you. I look at Guthrie's and his are flannel like mine but the patch on the front of his shirt is a dirt bike and the bottoms are blue and have dirt bikes all over them. He's smiling.

"When did you have time to make all these?" Crane asks.

"Oh, I just worked on them in my spare time," she says.

I look at Hannah and say, "but you don't have any new pajamas."

She smiles at me and says, "that's ok. I was happy to make them for you."

"I'm going to wear them every night!" I tell her.

"Me too!" Guthrie says.

Everyone laughs and Hannah says, "well, they have to get washed sometime."

"Can I put them on now?" I ask.

"Sure," she says.

Guthrie and I run upstairs and go change in our rooms.

* * *

When we come back downstairs everyone is sitting in the living room. The tree lights are on and that's it. It's a little dark and the lights look so pretty. Guthrie and I go sit next to the tree and look at the presents.

"How come there's so many presents?" I ask.

Guthrie picks one up and reads the tag. "To Daniel, from Hannah." Then he picks up another one and reads the tag. "To Ford, from Hannah."

"How many names did you draw Hannah?" I ask and everyone laughs.

"I just wanted to get everyone something a little special," she says.

"With your own money?" I ask.

"Yes. That's one of the reasons I wanted to work. I wanted to get everyone something special."

"That was really nice of you," Daniel says.

"Yeah," Crane says. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know," she says. "I wanted to."

Adam puts his arm around her and gives her a kiss.

Guthrie says, "yuck," and everyone laughs.

I look under the tree to find the present I bought for Hannah. My stomach feels really bad when I see it. I wish I didn't steal the ring. Hannah worked really hard to buy us presents and I stole hers. My eyes start to water. I'm glad it's dark in here so no one can see. Guthrie sees though.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

Great, now everyone's gonna look at me.

"Nothing," I say while turning my face so he can't see my eyes. Tears fall down onto my cheeks.

"You're crying," Guthrie says.

"No I'm not!" I yell. Then I whisper really quietly to him, "sh, I don't want anyone to know."

"Sorry," he whispers back.

"What's the matter?" Crane asks.

He's sitting the closest to me. When he says that I cry out loud so he picks me up and puts me on his lap.

"What's wrong?" He asks again.

I shake my head and then cover my face with my hands and bury my face in his chest. I try to stop crying, but it's hard to do.

"Come here Heidi," I hear Adam say.

I turn my face towards him and he leans down to take me out of Crane's lap. I reach up with my arms and put them around his neck and he lifts me up.

"Does this have anything to do with what you were trying to tell me earlier tonight before we left for church?" He asks quietly.

I nod my head while he carries me into the kitchen.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I nod my head. "It's hard though."

He leans back against the counter and holds me. "It looks like this is really hurting you."

"I feel really bad."

"If you tell me what it is, I think you'll feel better."

"You're gonna be mad at me!" I cry.

"Sh, just tell me when you're ready. Try to calm down first." He rubs my back while I try to calm down and stop crying.

When I start to calm down I hear everyone singing Christmas songs in the living room. They're singing Silent Night. I listen and it helps me calm all the way down. I wait until the song is over and then I tell Adam I'm ready to talk. He turns around and sets me up on top of the counter, and I put my hands in my lap and look down at them.

"What is it?" He asks.

I'm quiet for a long time and then I look up just a little and try to peek up at his eyes. "I stole something from the store," I say quietly.


	23. Chapter 23

I keep peeking up at Adam. He's not saying anything. Maybe he didn't hear me. I can't tell if he's looking at me or not. Then he groans and says, "Heidi, why would you do that? You know stealing is wrong."

Well, at least he's not yelling at me. "I couldn't afford it," I tell him.

"What did you steal?" He finally asks.

I stop trying to peek up at him and look back down at my hands. "A ring," I say quietly.

"Why did you steal a ring?"

I look up at him. "I stole it for Hannah's present. It was the perfect present, but it cost twenty dollars. So I put it in my pocket."

"You know stealing is wrong. I know you know that. I don't understand why you would do something like this."

"Because I know Hannah would like it. I'm sorry. Are you mad at me?"

"What store did you steal it from?" He asks. "The General Store? Did you steal it the night I took you there?

"No. The store in Sonora. Are you mad at me?"

"The store in Sonora? You've had it all this time?"

"Yes," I say quietly. "Are you mad at me?"

"Where is it now?"

I can't tell if he's mad at me or not because he's not yelling. "Under the Christmas tree," I say quietly.

"Heidi! You were still going to give it to Hannah?"

I think he's mad. "Yeah. I had to give it to her. Otherwise what would've been the point of stealing it?"

"No!" He throws his hands up in the air and then down really quickly and now he's pacing. "I'm so disappointed in you!"

"Sorry. I really thought she would like it. Are you mad at me?"

"Stop asking me if I'm mad at you!"

"Well, are you?"

"Yes I'm mad at you! I'm also disappointed!" He yells.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be mad if I told you what I did wrong before you found out."

"I never said that! I said I would be _madder_ if you didn't tell me and I found out on my own!"

"So I shouldn't of told you?"

"Oh my God! I'm getting so frustrated with you right now!"

"Do you want me to get Hannah? She can help calm you down," I tell him.

He folds his arms across his chest and glares at me at me for a while.

"What?" I ask. "I can go get her." I start to slide down off the counter.

"Don't you dare get off that counter!"

I scoot myself back up. "I just thought maybe she could help you calm down, because you look really, really mad. I don't mind getting her."

"I don't want you to get Hannah! So quit asking!"

He starts pacing again.

"It's a really pretty ring, Adam. I know Hannah would like it a lot."

"You can't just take things because you want to! That was wrong! Do you understand that?"

"Yes, but _you_ stole something before," I remind him.

"That doesn't make it right!" He stops pacing and looks at me.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, we're going to have to take it back," he says.

"What? You can't take it back! They don't even know I took it! Why do you have to take it back?"

"Because you stole it! It's not yours!"

"You didn't have to take the perfume back that you stole, so why do I have to take the ring back!"

"We couldn't take it back! It was broken! But you know what dad made us do? He made us go back in the store and tell the manager what we did! We had to apologize _and_ pay for the perfume because we broke it!"

"Oh." I start to cry. "How come when you guys tell a funny story about doing something wrong, you never tell the part about getting in trouble?"

"Heidi, did you know stealing the ring was wrong?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Then you have to take it back."

"I don't want you to take it back."

"Oh, _I'm_ not going to take it back, _you_ are."

"How? Do I put it back in my pocket and try to sneak it back on the tray of rings? What if I get caught?"

"What! Are you serious?" I think that made him madder. "No you don't try to put it _back_! You return it to the store manager!" He yells.

"But then they'll know I took it! I'll get in trouble!"

"You already are in trouble!"

"But they'll put me in jail!" I cry really hard. "I don't want to go to jail!"

Adam sighs and I think he's calming down. "Heidi, stop crying." I try to stop but it's hard. "You're not going to jail. You're ten."

"I'm not?" I wipe my eyes.

"No. Look at me Heidi," he says, so I do. "The day after Christmas you and I are going to go to the store and take the ring back and...,"

"But I don't want to! Please don't make me! I promise I won't steal again! I promise!"

He sighs. "Stop." He picks up my hands and says, "look at me Heidi." I look up. "It's going to be ok. We'll take it back and you'll apologize. I'm glad you told me instead of waiting for me to find out on my own. I'm proud of you for doing that. I know it was hard for you to do. We'll talk about this more, later."

I nod my head and he lets go of my hands and gives me a hug.

"What do I do about Hannah's present? I already wrapped it up. I can't give her the ring and then take it back."

"Daniel said you bought something at the General Store."

"Yeah, it's a little box to put a ring in." I start to cry. "Now there won't be anything in the box! It'll just be an empty box!"

"Heidi, I'm sure she'll love the little box," he says.

"No! It can't be empty!" I cry.

He picks me up off the counter. "Come on, we'll think of something," he says as he carries me into the living room. Everyone is still singing Christmas songs. They're singing Silver Bells. He whispers in my ear, "go get Hannah's present and we'll take it upstairs and take the ring out." He sets me down and I walk over to the tree and look for Hannah's present.

"What are you doing," Guthrie whispers.

"Taking the ring out." I tell him, as I get the present and walk over to the stairs where Adam is waiting.

We go upstairs to his bedroom and close the door.

* * *

I sit cross legged on the bed and Adam sits on the bed next to me. I give him the present.

"You have to unwrap it," I tell Adam. "It's so small I can't do it with one hand."

"Ok." He unwraps it and looks at the little box. "This is a cute little porcelain box. Hannah's really going to like it."

He takes the lid off and takes the ring out. I watch his face to see if he likes it. I think he does.

"This is really pretty, Heidi." He looks at it and then looks at me and he looks a little sad. "I still can't believe you stole this."

"Sorry."

"Heidi, I wish you wouldn't do things you know are wrong."

"Sorry." We stare at each other for a minute. "I'm sorry I disappointed you."

He smiles a little bit.

"I won't do it again," I say.

He laughs. "You won't do 'what' again? Steal? Or disappoint me?"

"Both!" I yell.

He puts his hand on top of my head and messes up my hair.

"Can I tell you why that ring is the perfect present?" I ask him.

He holds it up to me, "ok, why is this the perfect present?"

"You see how it has three diamonds?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Well, this diamond," I point to the diamond on the left, "is supposed to be you." I point to Adam. Then I point to the diamond on the right, "this one is supposed to be Hannah."

"Who's the diamond in the middle supposed to be?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I was gonna let her decide."

Adam looks at me and says quietly, "I bet she would've picked you."

That makes me smile. "Do you really think so?"

"Yes. She loves you Heidi."

"But sometimes I make her mad and sometimes she makes me mad."

He smiles. "That doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

"Do we _have_ to take the ring back? Can't we just keep it? She'd really like it."

"No. That would be wrong. You can't steal things just because you think someone would like it," he says that in his serious voice.

"Ok. What are we gonna put in the box then?" I ask.

"You don't have to put anything in it. The box is very pretty and perfect all by itself," he says.

"No, it has to have something in it. You have to help me think of something."

I put my elbows on my knees and rest my chin in my hands and stare across the room. I've got to think of something, but I can't think of anything. "Did you think of something?" I ask.

"It doesn't have to have something inside if it," Adam says.

"Yes it does." I keep thinking.

"It's late Heidi. Let's wrap the box just like it is."

"No. Keep thinking."

"Heidi, I'm going to wrap it now."

"I got it! Candy!" I look at Adam. "Do we have any M&M's?"

"We might." He gets up and walks to the closet.

"Why would they be in the closet?" I'm confused.

I get off the bed and walk over to the closet. Adam puts his hand on the closet door and turns to me and says, "just go sit back over there on the bed."

"Why?" Now I want to know what's in there.

"Just go," he says.

I go stand by the bed and watch him open the door and look through a bag.

"What's that?" I ask.

"None of your business," he says, turning towards me. "Just stay there." He moves things around in the bag and then takes something out and puts the bag back. He comes back over to me with a small bag of M&M's.

"Why do you have M&M's in your closet?" I ask.

"No reason. Do you want them, or not?"

"Yes."

He sits back down on the bed and hands me the bag. I open it and pour some in the box. Three fit in the little box and the rest spill out onto the bed.

"Can we eat the rest?" I ask while putting some in my mouth.

"Yes. Give me the box and I'll wrap it for you."

He gets the wrapping paper out and I watch him wrap the present while I eat M&M's.

"How's that?" He asks me. He holds the present up for me to see.

"Perfect!" I take it from him. "What are you gonna do with the ring."

"I'm going to put it in my dresser." I watch as he puts it in his top dresser drawer.

"Can I show it to Hannah?"

"Not tonight. Maybe you can tomorrow," he says.

"Do you think she'll be mad I stole it?"

"I don't know. Let's go downstairs now and sing some songs before you have to go to bed."

"Can't I stay up later since it's Christmas Eve?"

"It's already way past your bedtime!" He says picking me up off the bed. He gives me a kiss on my forehead and puts me down. "Come on, I think I hear them singing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer."

"I love that song!" I grab the present and open the door. Yep, they're singing it! I race downstairs singing and I put Hannah's present under the tree. I look around for a place to squeeze in on the couch and Brian grabs me and puts me on his lap.

I laugh and sing loudly. It's fun when my whole family is together and we sing. We sing some more fun songs and then they start singing some songs that aren't as loud and I don't know. I listen and snuggle up to Brian. The lights on the tree look so pretty and I stare at them until my eyes start to get tired. Then I close them and fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up because I hear someone yelling. I sit up. It's still dark and I look at my clock. 5:00. Someone must've put me in my bed.

"It's Christmas!" I hear Guthrie yelling from downstairs. "Wake up everybody! It's Christmas!"

I jump out of bed and run out to the hallway.

"Heidi, it's Christmas! Come look at your stocking! And it snowed too!"

I hear my brothers getting up. I run downstairs to where Guthrie is sitting with his stocking. I find mine and sit next to him on the floor. I start taking things out. There's a candy cane, gum, M&M's, hey, that's the same kind of M&M's Adam took out of that bag in his closet. I pull out a wrapped present and unwrap it.

"Markers! Look Guthrie! I got markers! The thin kind!"

"Cool!" He says.

I look at the stuff he's taking out of his stocking. The candy is the same as mine and it looks like he got a new pocket knife. I keep looking through mine. More candy, there's a chocolate Santa Claus, "look Guthrie! A jawbreaker! Look how big it is! I wonder if it'll fit in my mouth!"

"I got one too!" He yells holding his up. "And look, I got a comic book! It was rolled up near the bottom!"

I keep looking through my stocking. I'm almost at the bottom. There's more candy, and something wrapped up. I open it up and it's water color paints! Just like the kind they have at school! I look over at Guthrie and he's eating his candy. I eat mine too and watch my brothers go through their stockings. Hannah has a stocking? Adam, Brian and Crane don't get stockings anymore so I go over to where Hannah is sitting and watch her.

"Who gave you a stocking Hannah?" I ask her.

She's smiling and says, "I don't know. Who gave you yours?"

"Adam." I look over at Adam and he's smiling. "Did you get Hannah a stocking?"

"Maybe," he says.

"Why?"

"I thought she would like it." He's smiling at Hannah.

"Where's all the candy? How come there's no candy in your stocking?" I ask.

Nobody answers me so I just watch her take things out. She got gloves, a scarf, some sort of bubble bath stuff, and a pretty gold necklace. Boring stuff. I look at Ford's stuff and he has some sort of square toy thing.

"What's that?"

"It says it's a Rubik's Cube. My friend has one, it's like a puzzle."

I move on to Evan's stuff. "You got new riding gloves!"

"Yep," he says.

Daniel got a new guitar pick and some other stuff. I go back to my stuff and eat some more candy.

Hannah gets up and says, "I'm going to go get breakfast started."

I run into the kitchen after her. "What are we having? Cinnamon rolls? Pancakes? French toast?"

"We're having quiche," she says.

"What's that?" I ask.

"It's an egg dish," she says.

I watch her get the eggs out and some other stuff, and then she gets a box out of the freezer.

"Hannah, that looks like spinach."

"It is," she says, smiling at me.

"What's that for?" I ask.

"It goes in the quiche."

"What! Why?"

"That's how you make it," she says.

"Well, I'm not having any of that!" I tell her as I run out of the kitchen. "Guess what!" I yell to everybody in the living room. "Hannah's making something for breakfast that has spinach in it!"

"No she's not!" Guthrie yells and he laughs.

"Yes she is! Come look!" I pull on his arm and he follows me into the kitchen.

"Heidi says you're cooking something with spinach in it," Guthrie says.

"Yes I am. It's a quiche."

Guthrie looks at me and makes a yucky face. Then he says to Hannah, "what are you making for us to eat?"

Hannah doesn't say anything, she just keeps on making the quiche thing.

"Hannah?" Guthrie says.

She doesn't answer so I say to Guthrie, "she's ignoring you. She must not have liked what you said." Then I ask Hannah, "are you making something else besides that?" Hannah still doesn't says anything. I sigh. "Come on Guthrie, let's go outside and play in the snow."

"I'd like you two to wait and go outside after breakfast," Hannah says.

"I thought you weren't talking to us," I say. She glares at me.

"Come on Heidi, let's go eat more candy," Guthrie says.

"I think you've had enough candy for now," Hannah says. "Why don't you have some later today."

Now _we_ glare at _her_. I whisper to Guthrie, "I'm starting to get mad. She's ruining Christmas!"

He whispers back, "I know, but _don't_ say anything!"

"Is there anything we _can_ do?" I ask Hannah.

She doesn't answer. Great! Now she's ignoring us again! Guthrie grabs my arm and pulls me into the living room.

"Hey!" I yell.

"You're gonna make her mad," Guthrie says.

"So. We already can't do anything. What more can she take away?"

"She could make us stay inside all day."

"I don't want her to do that!" I yell.

"Then don't make her mad!"

We sit on the couch next to Ford and watch him play with his cube puzzle thing. It looks hard.

"What are you supposed to do?" I ask him.

"You're suppose to get each side all one color. I'm just trying to get one side all red right now," he says.

It looks hard. "Where's everybody else?" I ask him.

"Getting chores done," he says.

Oh right. Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean there aren't any chores to get done. We still have to feed the animals. I get up and walk over to the window. It looks so pretty outside. The sun is shining and it makes the snow look sparkly. I can't wait to go out there and play. I see Brian coming over to the house. I run to the front door and go out on the porch to wait for him. It's freezing out here!

"Brian! You gotta help us!" I yell at him when he gets closer.

"What are you doing out here in your pajamas?" He asks as he walks up the porch steps.

"You gotta help us! Hannah's making something for breakfast with spinach in it!"

Brian looks at me kinda funny and says, "are you sure about that?"

"Yes! You can even ask Guthrie. It's eggs with spinach! And she's not making anything else for us to eat. You have to make pancakes or something. I don't want to eat spinach for breakfast!"

"I'll see what I can do," he says as we walk into the house.

I go sit on the couch next to Ford again and watch him do his puzzle. It's warm by the wood stove and it makes me feel tired so I close my eyes.

* * *

I wake up when I hear Hannah yell, "breakfast!"

I look around the living room and see that Guthrie fell asleep too. Everyone starts going into the kitchen and I sit down at my spot. I look around the table. There's orange juice and toast. That's it! Everyone sits down and Hannah brings over two pies, except they don't look like any pie I've ever seen before.

"What's that, Hannah?" Evan asks.

"Quiche," she says. "There's a third one cooking in the oven, so help yourself." She walks over to the stove to get the coffee.

My brothers all look at each other like they don't know what to do. Finally Adam says, "I'll start. It sure looks good, honey." She smiles at him as he dishes some quiche on his plate. He gives everyone a little glare and all my brothers start saying things like, "it smells good, Hannah, and it sure looks yummy!" I look at Guthrie and we shake our heads at each other. I'm not putting any of that on my plate!

Hannah sits down with her coffee and says, "here Heidi, I'll put some on your plate."

"No thanks. I'm not that hungry."

"Well, you can at least try a bite," she says as she puts some on my plate.

Everyone is quiet at the table which is very unusual. I watch everyone look at the quiche and slowly take a bite. I don't think they like it.

"Take a bite you two," Hannah says to me and Guthrie.

I take a the tiniest bite I can. Yuck! I do not like it. Nobody else is taking a second bite.

"What's the matter guys?" She asks. "Don't you like the quiche?"

"No!" I yell. "It's disgusting!"

Guthrie laughs and so do some of my brothers but Adam doesn't. I look down at him and he's glaring at me.

"What?" I say. "It's the truth."

Hannah says, "you mean I finally found something you guys don't like?"

Nobody says anything until Hannah says, "alright. You can make something else."

There's a lot of sighs of relief and my brothers start getting up.

"I'll get the pancake batter started," Brian says.

"I'll get the bacon," Daniel says.

"I got the eggs," Ford says.

Guthrie and I watch as everyone starts making breakfast. Adam gets up and walks over to where Hannah is sitting. He puts his arms around her and says, "I liked it." She smiles up at him and he gives her a kiss.

"You did not!" I say to him. "You're just saying that because she's your wife!"

"I am not!" He says. But he's smiling.

"Oh yeah? Then how come you didn't finish it?" I ask and I give him a little smile.

"Yeah," Guthrie says while laughing, "how come you didn't finish it?"

Adam glares at both of us and says, "I'll go finish it right now."

We laugh as we watch him go back to his seat and start eating the quiche on his plate. He eats it all and says, "see, I like it."

"You should have seconds then," I tell him, while giving him a big smile.

He glares at me and Hannah says, "ok, that's enough." She's laughing. "You don't have to eat anymore."

As soon as breakfast is ready we all sit at the table and everyone starts talking like we normally do.

* * *

After breakfast it's time to open presents. Brian moves the coffee table out of the way so there's more room for people to sit on the floor.

"So how do you open the presents we bought each other?" Hannah asks. "Do we all open them at the same time?"

"Let me tell her!" Guthrie yells. "We go go from youngest to oldest! Heidi gets to open her present first and we all watch. Then it's my turn and then Ford's."

"Ok," she says.

"I drew Heidi's name," Evan says.

He looks under the tree and finds the present he bought. I walk over to him and sit down. I'm so excited! He hands me my present and I look at it.

It's about the size of a ball and it's soft and lumpy. Hmmm. I have no clue what it could be. I start tearing the paper and it's a stuffed animal. "A puppy!" It's a cute light brown puppy with floppy ears and big eyes. I hug it to me. "Thank you Evan! I love it!" I give him a big hug and then I sit on his lap while I look at my puppy.

I don't see what Guthrie or Ford got because I'm busy looking at my puppy and petting him. But then it's Evan's turn so I get off his lap and go sit next to Guthrie. He got a bunch of army men and parachute guys.

"Heidi, it's Hannah's turn," Adam says.

I go get Hannah's present out from under the tree and hand it to her where she's sitting on the floor. I stand and watch her open it. I hope she likes it!

"What a pretty box!" She says. She smiles at me and says, "thank you Heidi."

"Open it," I tell her.

She opens it and laughs. "Thank you!" She puts the M&M's in her mouth. She pulls me into a hug and I whisper in her ear, "I had a really pretty ring to put in it, but I stole it, so Adam says I have to take it back. Sorry."

She hugs me tighter and whispers, "I'm glad you told Adam about it."

I push myself away from her a little bit so I can look at her. "Adam told you?"

"Yes," she says.

"Did he show you the ring?" I ask excitedly.

"It's beautiful Heidi." She hugs me again and whispers in my ear, "I would've picked you to be the middle diamond." I squeeze her tighter when she says that. When we're done hugging I sit in her lap. Everyone has opened their presents now.

"Who are the other presents for?" I ask. There's still lots of presents under the tree.

"Those are presents I bought for everybody. Heidi, do you want to pass them out?" She asks me.

I jump up. "Sure!" I start passing presents out. There's one for everyone including me! As soon as everyone has theirs Hannah tells us to open them.

I look at mine. It's the size of a shoe box. I unwrap it, and it 'is' a shoe box, a big shoe box. I take the lid off and move the tissue paper out of he way and gasp. "Oh my gosh!" It's one of those pretty dolls with the shiny faces! I take her out of the box and look at her. She's wearing a pink dress and little socks and little black dress shoes. Her brown hair is curly and she has a pink bow on top of her head.

I touch her face and it feels so smooth. I know it's breakable so I'm really careful when I touch her. Her cheeks are painted pink and her lips are red. She has blue eyes just like me.

"It's porcelain," Hannah says.

"What is?" I ask.

"Her head, arms and legs. They're breakable."

"She's so pretty Hannah. Thank you!" I would hug Hannah right now but I'm holding my doll and I don't want to break her.

Guthrie comes over to where I'm sitting and says, "you got a doll?"

I look up at him and smile, "isn't she pretty?"

He smiles back and asks, "can I hold her?"

I don't really want him too because I'm afraid he's going to break her, but I let him.

"Why's her face so smooth?"

"She's breakable," I tell him. "This is the same kind of doll I broke at Susie's house. My friend, Denise, has three dolls like this."

"Oh," he says.

He gives her back to me. I get up and show her to everyone and let them all hold her.

"Can we go outside now?" Guthrie asks.

"Yes," Adam says.

"I'm gonna put my doll in my room." I walk as carefully as I can upstairs to my room, and put her on top of my dresser. She's so pretty! I run downstairs to get my snow clothes on.

"Hey, go change Heidi," Hannah says.

"I want to wear these. I always wear my thermal pajamas under my snow pants, why can't I wear these? I like my horse pajamas. I'm gonna wear them all day!"

Hannah smiles and says, "ok."

Hannah covers my cast with a plastic bag and then I hurry to get my snow clothes on because Guthrie is already outside.

* * *

Once I'm outside I look around for Guthrie. He's already building a snowman so I run over to him as I best as I can in the snow and start helping.

"Let's do something really fun," Guthrie says.

"Like what?" I ask.

"Something we've never done before. We always make a snowman and have a snow ball fight and go sledding. Let's do something different," he says.

"Ok! What should we do?"

"I don't know, let's think."

I try to think of something while I help build the snowman.

"We could go see if we can ice skate on the pond," I suggest.

"No, I don't think it's frozen enough. Besides, we're not allowed to do that anymore, remember?"

"Right."

We can't think of anything and pretty soon we're finished with our snowman. We decide to walk over to the barn to see if we can find something to do over there. When we go past the truck Guthrie gets up on the bumper and says, "wow! Look at all the snow!"

I get up on the bumper too. "Let's jump!"

We try to balance on the back of the truck as best we can and then we jump into the truck bed. It's fun and when I try to get up I slip on something. I dig in the snow to the bottom and there's ice underneath the snow.

"Why is there ice down here?" I ask Guthrie.

"I don't know. Lets try to dig it out."

We start scooping the snow away and find a layer of ice. Crane walks by and asks, "whatcha guys doing in there?"

"Look Crane! There's ice down here," I tell him.

"How'd it get here?" Guthrie asks.

Crane looks and says, "it must've rained before it snowed. You know how the water pools in the back of the truck sometimes when it rains?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it looks like water pooled up and then it snowed on top and froze during the night. It looks like it's a good three inches in some places."

"Cool," Guthrie says. "Can we take it out?"

"I don't care," he says and he walks over to the barn.

Guthrie and I start trying to take the ice out but there's no way to do it. We try to pry it away from the side with our gloves on and that doesn't work. We try without our gloves on and that doesn't work either.

"We need to break it," Guthrie says.

We stand up and stomp on it. That doesn't work either.

"We need a hammer," Guthrie says.

"Yeah," I say.

We jump out of the truck and try to run to the barn but it's hard for me in the snow. We each get a hammer and say hi to Evan, Daniel and Ford. They're getting the snow shovels and saucers to go make a sled run.

"What are you doing with those?" Daniel asks.

"Breaking ice," I tell them as we run off to the truck.

* * *

Once we're back in the truck bed we start hammering the ice. It's hard to do with my left hand and it's not really working that great. I look over at Guthrie and he's having a hard time too.

"Guthrie, this is hard!" I stop and watch him.

"I know." He stops to take a break.

"We just have to hammer harder!" I yell and I take my hammer and start hammering as hard and as fast as I can. Guthrie laughs. I stop looking at what I'm hammering and look at him and laugh. I'm hammering so fast the hammer slips out of my hand and falls behind me.

Guthrie laughs. "Don't do that again! That would not be good if you broke the window."

I look at him and smile. "I know. That would be horrible!"

I lean back and pick it up and both Guthrie and I start hammering again, except this time when the hammer slips out of my hand it bangs against the back window and cracks it!

"Oh no!" I yell. "Guthrie, why did that happen?"

"Oh man!"

"Guthrie, I don't want to get in trouble for this!" I yell.

"I know! I don't either!"

"Help me Guthrie! Did I think? Adam's gonna tell me I didn't think!" I yell.

"No, we didn't think!"

I start to cry. "But Crane said we could do it!"

"He didn't say we could use hammers!"

I cover my face with my hands and cry.

Evan and Daniel come over and Guthrie moves so he's hiding the crack in the window.

"Why are you crying?" Daniel asks.

I look at Guthrie and then I look at Daniel and then I cover my face with my hands again.

"What are you guys doing?" Evan asks. "What are you doing with hammers?"

"Did you hurt yourself Heidi?" Daniel asks. "Guthrie, what happened?"

"I don't know," he says.

"Yes you do Guthrie. What happened?" Evan asks.

We're both quiet.

"What'd you guys do?" Daniel asks. "Come on, you can tell us."

I take my hands away from my face and look at Guthrie. He moves away from the window so they can see the crack.

"Oh man! You cracked the window! There's a hole too!" Evan yells.

"Do you think I'll get in trouble?" I ask. I look at them and I can tell they're trying to smile.

I cover my face again and cry. Daniel rubs my back and says, "it'll be ok, Heidi."

"No it won't! What do I do?"

"You have to tell Adam," Evan says.

I groan. "Maybe I'll just run away!"

"It's Christmas," Guthrie says, "you can't run away on Christmas."

"Why not? I just ruined Christmas!"

"No you didn't! I'll go get Adam," Daniel says. "It's Christmas. He can't get mad at you on Christmas."

"No! Don't get him!" I yell.

"Then come inside with us," Evan says.

"No!"

"It's going to be lunchtime soon. Come in with us."

I shake my head no. "I'm not hungry."

"Ok." They say and they walk off towards the house.

"I'll stay out here with you," Guthrie says.

"Thanks. I want to run and hide, but Adam said not to do that when I break something."

We sit in the back of the truck looking at the window. I start to get cold because we're not moving around.

"Heidi! Guthrie!" Brian yells from the house, "lunchtime!"

I look at Guthrie. "Go tell him I'm not hungry."

"Ok, are you sure?"

"Yeah, if you go in and tell him then he won't come out here. But come right back."

"Ok," Guthrie says as he jumps out of the truck and runs in the snow to the house.

* * *

It doesn't take that long for Guthrie to come back. "They want you to come inside," Guthrie says.

"Who's _they_?" I ask.

"Adam and Hannah."

"I'm not going in," I tell him.

"Ok, I'll wait with you, but someone's gonna come out here," he says.

"Should I just go inside and pretend nothing happened?"

"No! That would be worse!" Guthrie yells.

I start crying again. I hear Brian yelling for us to come in again.

"Do you want to go in now?" Guthrie asks. "Because you know who's gonna come out next."

"No." We wait a little bit longer and sure enough Adam yells for us to come in. I'm not going anywhere. Now he's yelling and that just makes me cry harder.

"Hey! Get inside now!" He yells.

"He's coming over here," Guthrie says.

"Get out of the truck!"

"He's almost here."

I get up and stand in front of the crack in the window. "Quick, hide the hammers," Guthrie says. I can't move, so Guthrie tries to move them out of the way, but there's really no place to hide them.

"What are you doing?" He yells. "Get out of the truck."

We stare at Adam.

"I know that look! What did you guys do?" He yells.

We don't say anything.

"I'm not going to ask you again! What did you do!"

I cry and yell, "I didn't throw a rock!"


	24. Chapter 24

"What are you talking about! What do you mean you didn't throw a rock? What did you do?!" He yells.

"You're gonna be mad!" I yell.

"Yeah," Guthrie says, "you're gonna be mad!"

"Tell me what you did!"

"No!" I cry.

"Get out of the truck!"

"No!"

"If I have to get in that truck and throw you out of it, I will! And you're gonna be sorry if I have to do that!" He yells.

Guthrie jumps out of the truck, but I'm not gonna move. Adam glares at me and says, "you asked for it!" He starts climbing in the truck so I scream and move to the other side. Once I move away from the window he sees the crack.

"What did you do!" He yells.

I jump out of the truck and hide behind Guthrie.

"How did this happen!" He's not looking at us, so we don't answer. He's looking at the crack really carefully. "Do you know how much it's gonna cost to fix this!"

Then he looks at us and Guthrie whispers to me, "don't say anything."

"This is just great!" He yells. "Why can't you two ever play together without breaking something?!"

"Don't answer that," Guthrie whispers.

"Why can't you find something to do that doesn't get you into trouble?!" Adam yells.

"Don't answer that either," Guthrie whispers. "It's one of those questions he doesn't need an answer for."

Adam looks around and sees the hammers. "Why are you throwing hammers at the window?"

Guthrie whispers, "sh, don't answer that. I know you want to, but don't!"

"Stop whispering!" Adam yells. "Why are you throwing hammers at the window?"

I put my head up and look at him. "We weren't."

Guthrie whispers, "don't say anything! Just let me talk!"

"Who broke the window?" Adam asks.

"Heidi," Guthrie says. "But we weren't throwing hammers at the window."

"Then how did the window break!" He yells.

"It was an accident!" I yell.

"It's always an accident!" He yells back.

"Well, I didn't do it on purpose!"

Guthrie nudges me and whispers, "sh, you're starting to say stuff that's gonna make him madder."

"Guthrie stop whispering to her!" Adam jumps out of the truck and Guthrie and I take a couple of steps backwards, away from him. I'm still hiding behind Guthrie. "What were you doing with the hammers?!" Adam looks and sounds really, really mad.

"Breaking the ice in the truck," Guthrie says.

"With hammers?!" He asks.

We stare at him and don't say anything.

"Didn't you ever think you might break something?!"

"Yeah, the ice!" I yell while I'm crying.

Guthrie jabs me in the stomach.

"Don't do that to her Guthrie!" Adam yells. "Heidi, stop hiding behind him!"

I'm not going to move because he looks so mad. I think I'd better run. I look around for the best place to run to.

Adam says very slowly and with a very serious voice, "don't...you...dare...run...away...from...me!"

How does he always know what I'm thinking!

"Don't do that!" Guthrie whispers. "That will make him really, really, really mad!"

"I can hear you!" Adam yells.

We take another step backwards.

"I'm not going to tell you again Heidi. Come out from behind Guthrie!"

Guthrie moves so I'm not standing behind him. I keep trying to get behind him, so he keeps moving, and then I keep moving and I don't notice Adam is right next to me and he's grabbing my arm. He gives me a swat on my bottom and says, "don't hide behind him!"

It didn't hurt because I'm wearing snow pants, but I'm not gonna hide behind Guthrie anymore.

"Guthrie, tell me what happened," he says.

Guthrie tells him about the ice in the truck and how Crane said we could take the ice out.

"He said you could use hammers?!"

Guthrie is quiet for a minute. Then he says, "no." Guthrie tells Adam that it was too hard for us to take it out with our hands so we got hammers.

"And not _once_ did you think about how the hammer could break something besides the ice?!"

"No!" I cry. "The first time the hammer slipped out of my hand it didn't break anything! It just landed behind me!"

"Heidi!" Guthrie yells.

Adam looks even madder now. He starts talking loud and then he gets louder as he goes on. "You mean the hammer slipped out of your hand once and you didn't _think_ right then that you'd better stop because YOU MIGHT BREAK SOMETHING?!"

I whisper to Guthrie, "is that a question I'm supposed to answer?"

I look at Guthrie, and he says, "sh."

"I already know the answer!" Adam yells.

"Then why'd you ask the question?!" I yell. I hate it when he does that!

"Shut up Heidi!" Guthrie yells.

"Hey!" Adam yells at Guthrie.

"What!" Guthrie yells. "She always says stuff that makes you madder and then I get in more trouble! I didn't even break the window!"

"Hey!" I yell and I glare at him.

"BOTH of you are already in a whole lot of trouble! BOTH of you should have known to be careful using a hammer! The fact that the hammer slipped out of your hand tells me you WEREN'T being careful! BOTH of you should have stopped hammering IMMEDIATELY after the hammer slipped out of Heidi's hand the first time! Guthrie, you could've broken the window just as easily as Heidi!"

I think about that for a minute. "I don't think so," I say. "It's hard for me to do things with my left hand and Guthrie was using his good hand."

Guthrie slaps his forehead with his hand and leaves it there for a few seconds. Adam stares at me. He still looks really, really mad and now he looks like he's thinking about something.

"I don't know what to do with you two anymore. I ground you, I send you to your room...,"

I wonder what he means when he says he doesn't know what to do with us anymore. Does that mean he doesn't know how to be a dad? Is he gonna give us away? He can't do that! Can he? He looks pretty mad. I'd better start listening again.

"and nothing seems to work! I am constantly telling you to think before you do stuff, and you don't do that! I keep telling you...,"

He does keep telling us to think. How come our brains don't do that? Is there something wrong with my brain? I wonder...

"Heidi!" Adam yells.

Oh no! Now he's gonna ask me what he just said.

"You're not even listening are you?!" He yells.

"You're not gonna give us away, are you?" I cry.

"WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

Why did that make him mad? "Well, are you?" I ask.

"I don't have the patience for this!" He says. I think he's talking to himself, though, because he's not looking at us. But then he does look at us. "I am so mad at you right now! You are going to go inside and we are going to eat lunch now. After that we're going to talk about this some more." We stare at him and he yells, "go!"

Both Guthrie and I sprint for the house. I fall down once in the snow because it's too hard to run in it going that fast. But once I'm inside, I quickly take my snow clothes off and run into the kitchen where everybody else is already at the table eating lunch. I sit in my chair and Hannah puts food on my plate and I look across the table at Guthrie and quietly cry.

* * *

Guthrie and I are still eating lunch when everyone else if finished. Evan, Daniel and Ford say they're going to go sledding.

"Remember, the Millers' are coming to dinner tonight and they're bringing their niece with them. She's been staying with them for a few weeks now. I think she goes to your high school."

"What's her name?" Daniel asks.

"I don't remember," Hannah says, "but you might want to come in early from sledding to get yourselves cleaned up before she comes."

Hannah smiles at them and Brian, Crane and Adam laugh.

"Is anyone coming that can play with us?" Guthrie asks.

"No, just the Millers' and their niece."

Guthrie looks at me and we both sigh. My brothers go outside and Adam gets up from the table. "When you guys are finished eating go to your rooms."

"Why?" I ask. "It's Christmas. You said we're not grounded on Christmas."

Guthrie kicks me under the table really hard.

"Ow!" I yell.

Adam glares at Guthrie and then he glares at me. "You're going to wait in your room for me to come up and talk to you," he says.

At least he's not yelling anymore. Guthrie and I get up and Hannah says she'll take care of our dishes, so we slowly walk up to our rooms.

* * *

I sit on my bed with my new doll and puppy. I can't believe Hannah got me a doll like this. She's so pretty. I hear footsteps walking up the stairs and down the hallway to my room. Adam stands in the doorway and I look at him. He looks disappointed.

"I'm sorry I broke the window on the truck."

"I'm so mad at you, and disappointed in you." He walks over to the bed and sits down. "Today's Christmas, so I'm going to wait and talk to you about the window tomorrow. You can play outside or inside but you need to be with Hannah, Brian, Crane, Daniel, or me."

"Ok."

"I'm going to tell Guthrie the same thing. Do you want to stay in the kitchen with Hannah, or go outside where your brothers are sledding?"

"Outside."

"Go get your snow stuff on and wait by the front door."

He leaves to go talk to Guthrie. I put my doll back on my dresser and go downstairs to get my snow clothes on.

* * *

Adam walks us to where everyone is sledding. Ford, Evan, Brian, and Daniel are there. Adam tells them to watch me and Guthrie and reminds me not to go sledding, and then he walks back to the house. I feel bad I disappointed him. I wonder how I'm gonna pay for the truck window. I sit on a log to think and watch my brothers go sledding.

I laugh a lot as they go down the hill. It's a pretty good sled run with three bumps. The second bump is the best, it makes Guthrie fly the highest in the air. After a while I get bored. There's no one for me to play with. I'm gonna go back to the house. I get up from the log and start walking back.

"Heidi!" Brian yells. "Where are you going?!"

I yell over my shoulder, "back to the house!"

"You're not supposed to be alone!" He yells back.

I keep walking on the path back to the house. "Then you'd better come with me, 'cause I'm not coming back," I yell.

They're all on the hill so it takes a while before I hear someone walking up behind me. I turn around and see Brian. He looks mad.

"Get back here!" He yells.

I keep walking. "Why?"

He's caught up to me now and he grabs my arm and turns me around. "Where do you think you're going!"

"I told you, to the house. Are you gonna take me?"

"Yeah, I'll take you," he says as he lifts me up and throws me over his shoulder. "You can sit in a chair for ten minutes when you get there too."

"What?! Why?"

"For being rude and walking off by yourself."

I sigh. "Brian there's no one for me to play with."

He puts me down so I can walk with him. "So tell me about the truck window."

"What about it? I broke the window and I'm in trouble. I keep on breaking things."

"Well, why do you keep on doing that?" He asks.

"I don't think before I do stuff. Brian, how much is it gonna cost to fix the window?" I ask.

"I don't know. Which window is it?"

"The back one."

"Oh, well, if it's the back window we don't have to get it fixed right away. If it was the front window we'd have to fix it now. It'll probably cost you about a thousand bucks."

"What! How am I gonna get a thousand bucks!" I yell.

Brian laughs. "I'm just kidding! I don't know how much. Maybe a hundred bucks."

"I don't have that either."

"I guess you'll have to do some extra work or chores or something," he says.

"With one hand? Besides, I already have to do stuff to pay for the pizza place's window."

"I guess you'll be busy for a while," he says.

We walk the rest of the way in silence.

* * *

When we get inside I go sit in the big comfy chair. I don't even bother to take my snow clothes off. I don't mind sitting here for ten minutes because there's nothing to do anyways. The house smells good. It's smells like Thanksgiving because Hannah's cooking a turkey. Crane and Adam are in the kitchen with her and Brian joins them. I think he's getting a beer.

"What are you doing in here?" Adam asks me.

"She's on a time out," Brian tells him.

"What for?" I shrug my shoulders so Adam glares at me.

"Being rude and walking off by herself," Brian says.

Adam keeps glaring at me so I close my eyes. I'm pretty tired from getting up early. Maybe I'll just take a little nap.

* * *

"Heidi," I hear Hannah say.

I think she's shaking me. I open my eyes and I'm sitting in the big comfy chair. I must've fallen asleep.

"Are my ten minutes up?" I ask Hannah.

She smiles at me. "Yes, I think they were up an hour ago. You took a little nap."

"I'm still tired. Can I go back to sleep?"

"No. You need to get ready for dinner," she says.

"Why? I want to wear my pajamas."

"We have company coming, remember? Everyone's going to be dressed in their church clothes," she says.

"I have to wear my dress!?" I complain.

"Yes." She smiles and puts her hand on the top of my head and smoothes my hair back.

"Will you help me?" I ask.

"Yes."

I get up and she helps me take my snow clothes off and then she follows me upstairs. I don't have a closet in my room so my dress is hanging in Hannah's. Once I get in my room I start taking my pajamas off and Hannah brings my dress in. She starts helping me put it on.

"Hannah, how did you know this is the kind of doll I liked?" I take my doll off my dresser and put her on my bed.

"I talked to Denise's mom. When she started describing the doll, I knew exactly what kind of doll you liked."

"Was she expensive?" I ask.

"No."

"When did you buy her?"

"Remember that night when Adam and I went out to dinner?"

"Yes. You didn't go out to dinner?" I ask.

"No, we went out to dinner, but we left so early because I wanted to buy you guys Christmas presents."

"Oh," I say. "So you went shopping first, and _then_ out to dinner?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for the doll Hannah. I really like her a lot." I give Hannah a hug.

"I'm glad you like her. Let's go fix your hair now." I follow her into her room and I walk over to the mirror. "Do you want me to curl your hair?"

"No. Just put it in a ponytail."

I watch her fix my hair. "Did you try the ring on that I bought you?" I ask her.

"No, but I saw it," she says.

"Do you want to try it on? I know where Adam put it."

"No Heidi, I don't think Adam would like you going through his things."

"'You' could go through his things," I say to her while I give her a big smile.

"No." She finishes with my hair and says, "remember to use good manners at dinner tonight since we have guests."

I look up at her. "How come the Millers are coming over? We've never had guests at Christmas time before."

"They don't have any family in the area, so I thought it would be nice to invite them."

"Oh, so they wouldn't be all alone?" I ask.

"Yes. I've got to go back to the kitchen now, why don't you come help me."

"Ok." I follow her downstairs. I don't know how much I can help with just one hand, but I'll try.

* * *

Guthrie and I are sitting on the floor at the coffee table drawing with my new markers. Everyone is dressed up, the table is all set in the kitchen, and we're just waiting for the Millers to come.

"I wonder what their niece is like," Evan says.

"I hope she's nice," Daniel says.

Ford says, "just remember, there's only one niece, and two of you."

They all three laugh and Brian comes in from the kitchen to see what's so funny.

"Evan and Daniel were just talking about the Miller's niece, and wondering which one of them she's gonna like," Ford says.

Evan throws a pillow from the couch at Ford and says, "no we're not! We're just wondering what she's like." They laugh at each other as Ford throws it back.

"Just remember you're brothers, and no girl is worth coming in between you," Brian says. Then he laughs and says, "no matter how pretty she is! What was that girl's name you were just fighting over last week?"

"Becky," Ford teases. "Remember how _in love _you were with her, Evan?"

Everyone laughs except for Evan. "You want to talk about girls Ford?" He teases back. "We can talk about Cleo, if you want."

Now Ford's not laughing, but he finds another couch pillow to throw. More pillows go flying until we all hear a knock at the door.

"They're here!" Guthrie yells.

That brings everyone that's in the kitchen out into the living room. Guthrie and I stop drawing and look over at the door as Brian opens it. Mr. Miller walks in and shakes Brian's hand and then Crane's, and Adam's and continues into the room with Mrs. Miller following. I look behind them and see a pretty girl with blonde hair. I bet my brothers will like her. I wonder if I will.

She walks in and Mr. Miller says, "everyone, I'd like you to meet my niece. She's staying with us for a while."

She walks in and Brian, Crane, Hannah and Adam all say hello. I look at Daniel and Evan and they're staring at her. I guess they like her. They're not smiling though, and they're not going up to her to say hi.

"Nice to meet you," she says to Hannah. "My name's Becky."

I gasp and look at Guthrie. Our eyes are really big. She says hi to Evan, Ford and Daniel, using their names, so I know they do know her. She says hi to Guthrie and he smiles at her. Then she says hi to me and I ask her, "your name's Becky?"

"Yes," she says as she smiles at me.

"What's your last name?" I ask while smiling back at her.

"Winters. I'm Becky Winters."

"Ha!" I laugh and everyone looks at me. I look down at my picture and start drawing again.

Everyone starts talking again, and Mrs. Miller goes into the kitchen with Hannah. Brian gets Mr. Miller a beer and Becky sits down on the couch right in between Evan and Ford.

I whisper to Guthrie, "quick! Go upstairs and get me Cleo's picture!" He looks at me like he doesn't understand. "Just go get it."

Guthrie runs upstairs and I watch Becky and my brothers on the couch. My brothers don't look comfortable. She's talking to Crane who's sitting on the other couch. She laughs and smiles at Crane, and for some reason I don't like it. Guthrie runs back downstairs and gives me the picture.

"What's it for?" He whispers.

"Just watch," I tell him.

I get up and walk behind the couch Evan, Becky, and Ford are sitting on. I stand right behind Becky and shove myself forward in between her and Ford so I can show her the picture of Cleo.

"Look Becky! This is Ford's girlfriend, Cleo. Isn't she pretty?" I ask shoving the picture in her face. "See, he...has...a...GIRLFRIEND!"

She jumps when I yell that in her ear. I smile at her when she looks back at me. She doesn't smile back. I hear Crane, Evan and Daniel laughing a little bit.

"Heidi!" Ford yells. "Give me that!" He takes it from me and runs upstairs.

Evan moves off the couch and sits in the big comfy chair so Becky is now sitting by herself. I walk around the couch and sit next to her.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I ask her. I'm still smiling at her and she starts to smile.

"No."

"Why not?" I ask. "Won't anyone go out with you?" I smile really big at her when I say that.

"Ok Heidi!" Crane says. He walks over and scoops me up off the couch. "Let's go see if Hannah needs help in the kitchen." He carries me in there and whispers, "you're being rude! Leave her alone!"

"But I don't like her!" I whisper back.

"She's a guest here. Leave her alone! If I see you bug her again, I'll tell Adam."

I glare at him. "Ok! I won't bug her!"

"You'd better not!" He sets me down and I run back into the living room and over to where I was drawing.

Crane comes back in too, and sits on the couch next to Becky. Ford's back downstairs and I notice he's sitting on the other couch. I watch Becky talking with Crane and I don't like it. Does she know how old he is? I glare at her while I watch her. I don't think Guthrie likes her either.

"Why is she talking to Crane like that?" He whispers. "Does she like him or something?"

"I don't know," I whisper back. "I don't like her!"

"Me either," he says.

We pretend to be drawing while we watch her and Crane talking. After a while Guthrie whispers, "Heidi?"

"Yeah?" I whisper back.

"Do you wanna prank her?" He whispers, smiling at me.

I gasp and smile at him. "I would _love_ to prank her!" I whisper.

"Come on," he says. "Let's go upstairs."

We leave our drawings on the coffee table and run upstairs to the boys' room so we can come up with the best prank ever!


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"We could put hot sauce on her food," I suggest.

"No. Too easy," Guthrie says. "This prank has to be really good. Keep thinking."

"Why was Becky talking to Crane like she liked him?" I ask.

"I don't know." Guthrie is quiet for a minute and then says, "I bet we could use Crane as part of our prank!"

"How? He's not gonna want to prank her."

"No, but we could pretend he's part of the prank," Guthrie says and then he goes back to thinking until he yells, "I've got it!"

"What? How are we gonna prank her?"

"We're gonna need some help from Evan and Daniel. I bet they'd help us for sure! Heck, I bet even Ford would help us prank Becky!"

"Tell me how we're gonna do it!" I yell excitedly.

"Sh! I don't want anyone to hear us and think we're up to something," Guthrie says.

"Why? Are we gonna get in trouble for this?" I ask.

"Heidi, you've broken two windows and stolen a ring. I don't think you could get into any more trouble than you already are."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Ok," Guthrie says, "now listen really carefully."

I listen while Guthrie tells me his plan. It's a good one!

"Do we have enough time to do that?" I ask.

"We should. Go downstairs and ask when dinner's gonna be ready."

"Ok." I leave the boy's room to go downstairs, but I stop in the hallway because I see Becky standing in front of our Christmas tree talking to Daniel.

"Do you want to go out with me on Saturday night?" She asks him. "I'm sorry I cancelled our date before. I really wanted to go out with you, but I thought Evan would get mad." She puts her hand up to Daniel's forehead and moves a piece of his hair to the side. She's smiling at him and, I can't believe it, he's smiling at her too!

"Sure we can go out on Saturday night," he says.

What! Oh my god, he can't be serious!

"Don't tell Evan," she says. "At least, not yet. I don't want to hurt his feelings tonight."

"I don't know," Daniel says. "I don't like keeping something like that from him."

"Just for tonight. You can tell him tomorrow."

"Ok," he says and she stands up on her tiptoes and kisses him on the lips!

Yuck!

She smiles at him after kissing him and says, "I'm going to see if Hannah needs any help in the kitchen.". She runs off.

I run downstairs and look at Daniel on my way to the kitchen. He's staring after her smiling.

"When will dinner be ready?" I yell as I run into the kitchen.

"In about an hour," Hannah yells back.

"Where is everybody?" I ask her. It's just Becky, Mrs. Miller and Hannah in the kitchen.

"I guess all the guys are out on the porch," Mrs. Miller says.

"Doing what?" I ask.

"Oh, Ken likes to smoke a cigar on Christmas, so they're probably out there doing that," Mrs. Miller says.

"Yuck! Why would they want to do that? Cigars stink!"

Daniel comes into the kitchen with his jacket on and he goes out the back door just as Ford and Evan are coming inside.

"Ford come help me with this turkey," Hannah says as she tries to lift the turkey out of the oven.

Ford walks over to Hannah and Becky asks Evan where he's going.

"Your uncle wants his jacket," he says as walks into the living room.

"I'll help you," she says.

I watch them walk to the front door where Mr. Miller's jacket is hanging up. I hide behind the couch and peek up over it to watch them.

"Evan, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about canceling our date. I really wanted to go with you to the party," she says.

What! What is she doing?!

"I was just afraid Daniel wouldn't like us going out. I really like you a lot. Can we try to go out again?" She asks. "I'm free Friday night." She smiles at him.

"I don't know. I wouldn't want to hurt Daniel."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. We could keep it a secret if you want."

"No, I'm not going to keep a secret from Daniel," Evan says.

"Oh, ok," she says. She sounds sad. "I was really hoping to go out. I had a lot of fun with you that day you asked me out. I thought we might of had something special."

Oh no! Evan! Don't believe her! But then I see him smile at her.

"Ok. Would you like to see a movie on Friday night?" He asks her.

"Yes, I would love to." She smiles at him. "But, what should we do about Daniel?"

"Don't worry about that. I'll tell him tomorrow. I'm sure he'll understand." They stare at each other and it looks like they might kiss, but Evan looks at Mr. Miller's jacket and says, "I'd better get this to your uncle!"

"I'd better get back to helping in the kitchen," she says.

I crouch down as low as I can behind the couch and hope they don't see me as they walk by and into the kitchen. They don't see me. I gotta go upstairs and tell Guthrie that this girl is crazy! And she totally deserves this prank!

* * *

"She did what?!" Guthrie yells.

"It's the truth! This girl's mean!" I say back. "Why is she doing that to them?"

"I don't know, maybe she's crazy. She sure seems crazy to me," he says. "Let's go. We've got to get busy if we want this plan to work. We can forget about using Crane for the prank, we're gonna use Evan and Daniel!"

We get what we need from the house and sneak out to the barn. Guthrie grabs a shovel and a pail and I hold the flashlight. We walk over to the pasture and hop over the fence.

"Guthrie, my feet are cold!" I'm still wearing my dress shoes and my socks are getting wet from the snow.

"I know, mine too. This won't take long, though."

We walk over to where the cows are and as we get closer to them we stop and I shine the flashlight all around. "There's lots over here," I tell Guthrie.

"Perfect! These are still wet!" He says as he shovels cow pies into the pail.

We find more, and once we have a full bucket we head back to the barn to work on the rest of the prank.

* * *

At dinner Guthrie and I can't stop smiling at each other.

"What's wrong with you two?" Hannah asks. She's smiling at us and Guthrie and I shrug our shoulders.

Everyone is laughing and talking while they're eating. I look over at Becky and she's smiling and laughing at whatever Crane, Daniel and Evan are saying. They're being weird around her. They keep laughing and smiling back at her. It's like they all like her. I wonder if she asked Crane out too! He's way too old for her. If she did, I hope he said no!

When everyone's done eating, some of us help with the dishes, some go into the living room, and some back out on the porch. Hannah tells everyone we'll have dessert later. Guthrie and I get ready for the next part of our plan.

* * *

"Hi Becky," I say as I run up to her. She's coming out of the bathroom. "I have something for you." I smile really big at her and hand her a folded up piece of paper. "Daniel told me to give it to you."

She takes it and unfolds it. I watch her start to smile as she reads it.

"What does it say?" I ask.

She smiles at me and says, "oh, nothing." I watch her walk away and I smile.

Guthrie passes by her on his way up the stairs.

"Did you give it to her?" He asks.

"Yes. Did you give Daniel and Evan theirs?"

"Yes! Let's get out to the barn!"

We run downstairs with the flashlight and grab our jackets and sneak outside.

* * *

Guthrie and I are hiding behind the hay in the barn. The barn is dark, but we know that's about to change in a few minutes. We laugh a little when we hear the back door of the barn creak open.

"Becky?" We hear Daniel call out. "Becky?"

He turns the light on in the barn. Guthrie and I are hidden very well and we're in the perfect position to see everything. Daniel sits on a bale of hay to wait. It's hard for me and Guthrie to stay quiet. We know we have at least five more minutes before the next part of the prank is going to happen. We watch Daniel picking at the hay and he starts singing a song quietly to himself.

We laugh a little. It seems like five minutes is forever, but we finally hear the back door to the barn creak open again. Daniel stands up and says, "Becky?"

"Becky?" Evan calls out as he comes in the barn.

"No, it's me!" Daniel says to him. "What are you doing out here?"

"What are you doing out here?" Evan asks. Both of them seem a little mad.

"I'm supposed to be meeting Becky here," Daniel tells him.

"No, I am," Evan says. "Look, she gave me this note." Evan takes a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket and shows it to Daniel. "Look, it says to meet her here at exactly 8:10. She even wrote to come around the back of the barn."

"I got the same note!" Daniel yells. He takes his note out of his pocket and shows it to Evan. "Except mine says to meet her at 8:00!"

"Why would she do this?" Evan asks.

"I don't know," Daniel says. "Maybe she wants to tell us something."

"Oh, I think I know what she wants to tell you," Evan says. "It's weird though, because she said I shouldn't tell you until tomorrow."

Guthrie and I cover our mouths to hide our laughing.

Daniel looks at Evan and says, "wait a minute, she told me to wait until tomorrow to tell 'you' something. What are you supposed to tell me?"

"That me and Becky are going out on a date Friday night."

"What!" Daniel yells.

"Sorry, Daniel. She said she...,"

"Stop Evan! She asked me to go out on a date with her Saturday night!"

"What!" Evan yells.

Both of them are quiet for a while.

"I can't believe we fell for her again!" Daniel says. They both sit down on bales of hay.

"Jeez! We're so stupid! Sorry Daniel."

"No, I'm sorry."

They're quiet again and then we all hear Becky call out, "Daniel?"

We all look at the barn door as it creaks open. When the door opens more and Becky is standing in the doorway, the pail full of cow pies dumps right on top of her head! Becky screams and Evan and Daniel stand up and stare at her while Guthrie and I laugh. Then we sneak to the back of the barn and run out the back door. We laugh all the way to the house.

* * *

We can hear Becky yelling from the barn when we get to the house. We open the front door just a crack to see if anyone's in the living room. It's empty, so we go inside and kick our shoes off. Guthrie runs to the bookcase to get a game and we both sit on the floor at the coffee table.

"What's all that noise outside?" Hannah says, running in from the kitchen. Mrs. Miller is following right behind her.

"What noise?" Guthrie asks. We've got the checkers game out now and we're pretending to play. We smile at each other.

"Don't you hear that?" Hannah asks as she opens the front door. "It's coming from the barn."

"It sounds like Becky!" Mrs. Miller yells. They both run outside and we start laughing.

"Come on Heidi, let's go watch!" Guthrie yells.

We run outside and stand on the porch. Becky is yelling and Daniel and Evan are walking back to the house with her.

"I wonder what happened," Mrs. Miller says.

"What's going on?" Adam asks.

"I don't know." Hannah says. "It looks like something happened out at the barn."

The three of them are here now and Evan and Daniel are apologizing to Becky the whole way inside as she yells, "what a mess! I can't believe you did this!" She runs into the house and upstairs to the bathroom. Guthrie and I smile at each other. Becky has cow pies all over her!

"What happened?" Mrs. Miller asks.

"I don't know," Evan says.

"We were out in the barn and when Becky opened the door, a pail full of cow pies dumped on top of her!" Daniel says.

"What?!" Adam yells. Hannah puts her hand on his arm to try to calm him down. "Why would you do that?"

"We didn't!" They both yell.

"Then who did?!" Brian yells.

Everyone starts talking and Guthrie and I look at each other and quietly sneak backwards into the house. We run over to our checkers game. There's a lot of commotion going on out there and there's a lot of yelling coming from the bathroom. We smile and laugh at each other as everyone starts to come inside. They're still trying to figure out what happened.

"I'm going to see if Becky needs anything," Hannah says. She runs up the stairs with Mrs. Miller following her. They knock on the bathroom door and Hannah asks if she needs some more towels.

Then we listen to everyone else.

"I still don't get it," Adam says. "What happened?"

Evan starts explaining. "We were out in the barn...,"

"Who's we?" Brian asks.

"Me and Daniel."

"Why were you out there?" Crane asks.

Evan and Daniel look at each other. It looks like neither one of them wants to say. Finally Daniel says, "I was meeting Becky."

"Then what were you doing out there, Evan?"

"I was meeting Becky too," he says.

"What?!" Mr. Miller says. "My Becky asked both of you to meet her out at he barn?"

"Becky said she didn't tell either of us to meet her out there," Evan says.

"Then why was she out there," Mr. Miller says.

"She got a note too," Daniel says.

"A note? What kind of note?" Asks Adam.

"A note to meet Daniel in the barn," Evan says. "We all got a note."

The bathroom door opens upstairs and Becky comes running out. She's still a mess. Hannah and Mrs. Miller follow her downstairs.

"I want to go home," she says. I can tell she's been crying.

"I think we should, dear," Mrs. Miller says to Mr. Miller.

"I think you're right," he says.

Becky runs out the front door and I watch Mr. And Mrs. Miller get their coats and say goodbye. My brothers and Hannah say goodbye and apologize a lot to them.

"I'll find out what happened," Adam tells them.

"I'm sure you will," Mr. Miller says.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner," Mrs. Miller says.

As soon as the door closes, Adam turns around and yells, "what happened?!"

Nobody says anything.

"Which one of you did this? Come on, this was just downright mean!" Adam looks at Evan and Daniel and says, "I know you guys don't like her, but I can't believe you'd do this!"

"I didn't do this!" Evan yells.

"Me either!" Daniel yells. "Like I said, I got a note from Becky to meet her in the barn."

"Did you know Daniel got a note?" Adam asks Evan. "Did you go out there to get revenge?"

"No! I got the same note! And who ever did this planned it ahead of time!"

"Why would Becky give you guys the same note?" Crane asks.

"Yeah, that's what I want to know," Brian says.

"She said she got a note from me," Daniel says. "But I didn't give her a note!"

"Then who did?" Adam asks and he looks around at everyone.

Guthrie and I look at each other. Uh oh. We've been sitting here quietly the whole time. Guthrie's back is facing the door so when he looks at me no one can see his face. He puts his finger up to his lips to say sh, and then he mouths, "don't talk."

I nod my head in agreement.

"Guthrie gave me my note," says Evan, "he said it was from Becky."

"He gave me my note too, and said it was from Becky," Daniel says.

Now everyone is looking at Guthrie. He's still facing me so Adam says, "turn around Guthrie."

When he turns around Adam asks him, "did Becky give you those notes?"

Guthrie doesn't say anything. I don't either. I look around at everyone and it looks like they're thinking really hard about something. I bet they're gonna figure out what we did.

"Did you give them those notes?!" Adam yells.

Guthrie nods his head.

"Did you give Becky a note?" He asks.

Guthrie shakes his head no. Now everyone looks at me.

"Did you?" Adam asks me.

I just stare at him.

"You did, didn't you?" He asks.

I nod my head.

"Did you guys do this?!" He yells.

"Guthrie, Heidi," Hannah says quietly, "did you do that to Becky?"

Hannah looks disappointed. Adam looks mad. I look around at everyone else and they all look the same way.

"Yes, we did it," Guthrie finally says.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" Adam yells. That makes us cry. Hannah puts her hand on Adam's arm, but I don't think it's calming him down because he still looks mad.

"That was mean!" Crane says. He looks mad too.

"She's mean!" I yell.

Guthrie looks at me and glares. "Don't say anything!" He yells.

"No Guthrie! _You_ don't say anything!" Adam yells at him. "I'm going to let Heidi tell us what happened."

Guthrie looks at me and glares. I don't know what to do. I know I'm not good at explaining stuff without getting people madder.

"Turn around Guthrie! I don't even want you to look at her! Don't jab her or kick her either! I'm tired of you telling her not to talk!" Adam yells. "Heidi, what happened?"

I'm quiet for a little bit until I'm ready. "Um, we wanted to play a prank on Becky," I say quietly.

"That wasn't a prank!" Adam yells.

"That was mean," Hannah says.

"Sorry," I say, because I'm not really sure what to say. "Becky's really mean, she...,"

"It doesn't matter if she's mean or not, you shouldn't have done that!" Adam yells.

"Why not! We play pranks on each other all the time!" I yell. I hear Guthrie groan.

"We're family! Becky was a guest in our home!" Adam yells.

"But she was being mean to Evan and Daniel!" I yell. "I don't like her! She deserved that!"

"No she didn't!" Adam yells. "I don't care how mean you think she is, that was not a good thing you did, and it wasn't funny!"

"It wasn't supposed to be a good thing! It was supposed to get her all dirty!" I yell. "And it was to funny! You should've seen her face!"

Adam glares at me and Guthrie puts his head down and covers his face with his hands. I think I might've heard someone laugh a little tiny bit.

"She was asking Daniel out on a date and telling him not to tell Evan, and then she turned around and asked Evan out on a date and told him not to tell Daniel! She's mean!" I yell. "She's being mean to my brothers, so I don't like her!"

Hannah says, "why don't we all go into the kitchen and have some dessert so Adam can talk to Guthrie and Heidi alone."

They all start going in there so I ask, "aren't you gonna stay out here Hannah?"

She looks at me and shakes her head and that makes me cry.

"Stop crying," Adam says. He walks over and sits on the couch next to where we're sitting on the floor. "You guys did something really mean to someone else and I'm very disappointed in you."

"Guthrie said I wouldn't get in trouble for this because I'm already in a lot of trouble for breaking the windows and stealing the ring. He said I couldn't get in any more trouble than I already am."

Adam looks at Guthrie and says, "you two are definitely in trouble for this."

I look up at Adam with tears still running down my cheeks. "What are you gonna do?"

He looks at both of us and says, "for starters, you're going to bed right now."

"Without dessert?" I ask. "It's Christmas. Earlier you said we wouldn't be in trouble today because it's Christmas."

"This was too much. So yep, you're going to bed now without dessert. Clean up your game and go to bed."

"I'm sorry Adam," Guthrie says as we start putting the checkers back in the box.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," he says. He watches us put the game away and when we go upstairs he goes into the kitchen to have dessert.

* * *

"I thought you said we wouldn't get in trouble," I say to Guthrie when I get to my room.

"I didn't really mean it like that," he says. "I just meant what's another week of being grounded when you already have two or three."

"Do you think we really did something bad?" I ask him.

"Yeah. I feel bad for Becky now."

"I don't. At least not yet," I tell him.

Guthrie sits on my bed next to me. "Just think about how you'd feel if somebody did that to you. Remember how you felt when Evan and Daniel pulled that same prank on you, except with water instead of cow pies?"

I think about that. I was really mad. I thought Guthrie pulled that prank on me. "I didn't like it."

"Now imagine if it was cow pies in the bucket instead of water."

"I would've been even madder! That would've been gross!" I say. "Oh. We did a really mean thing to Becky."

"Yeah. I wish I would've thought about that before we did it," Guthrie says.

"We never think," I say sadly.

We sit there quietly for a while. I feel bad now. Guthrie gets up and walks over to my dresser and picks up my doll.

"Heidi? Isn't this doll gonna freak you out at night?" He asks.

I look at it. "No, I don't think so. Why?"

"She just looks scary to me. It's like she's staring at me. Watch, if I walk over here, it looks like she's following me with her eyes."

"No she's not," I say.

"She sure seems creepy to me." He puts her back on top of the dresser and says, "I'm gonna go get ready for bed now."

I close my door and start to get undressed, but I can't because my dress has buttons in the back. I guess I'll just wear this to bed, because I'm sure not going to go downstairs and ask anyone to help me. I open my door back up and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

It smells like cow pies in the bathroom. It's disgusting! I think about Becky now and I wonder how she's going to get the mess out of her hair. It makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. We did a really mean thing!

When I'm done brushing my teeth I go back to my room and get in bed with my puppy. I look at my doll sitting on top of my dresser. She better not scare me tonight! I get up and get a book to read to my puppy. I'm at the middle of the story when Adam walks into my room. I close the book and put it down.

"Why don't you have your pajamas on?" He asks.

"My dress has buttons in the back," I tell him.

"Why didn't you ask someone to help you?"

"Because you're all mad at me."

"Get up," he says.

I get out of bed and turn around so he can unbutton my dress. After he does that he gets up and takes my thermal pajamas out of my dresser and lays them on my bed.

"I want to wear my new horse pajamas."

"They're dirty. You wore them outside today."

He picks them up off the floor and walks out into the hallway. I want to tell him they're not dirty because I was wearing my snow clothes over them, but I figure he might get mad if I say that. I put my thermal ones on and get back in bed.

"I'm dressed," I tell him.

He comes back in and sits on my bed.

"You're really disappointed in me aren't you?" I ask.

"Yes, I am."

"I'm sorry. We did a really mean thing to Becky. I didn't think about how mean it was. You're always saying I don't think about things."

"You did do a really mean thing to Becky. You're going to have to apologize to her," he says.

"Is she gonna apologize to Evan and Daniel? Because she did a really mean thing to them."

"I don't know Heidi. All I know is I'm responsible for you, and when _you_ hurt someone you're going to apologize to them. That's what I'm trying to teach _you_."

"I guess somebody didn't teach Becky that, because she's not very nice. Why does she want to go out with so many guys all at the same time?"

"Well," Adam starts to say something, but then he stops. "That's a question for another night."

"Why?"

"Not tonight. I just came in to say goodnight. We have a busy day tomorrow." He stands up and kisses me goodnight and leaves.

No story or song tonight. I hate it when I get sent to bed early because then I don't get tucked in all the way. I pick up my book and start reading to my puppy again. When I'm done I kiss him goodnight.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I don't want to have to give the ring back. I wish I could just steal it back from Adam. Maybe I should steal the ring back and hide it. Then I can't take it back! I sit up. Yeah, that's what I should do!

I get up out of bed and walk over to my doorway. I look out and I can see Adam, Hannah, Brian and Crane sitting in the living room so I back up before they see me. Darn, I can't sneak out right now. I guess I'll stay here until the coast is clear. I sit down and listen to what they're talking about.

"How did Guthrie get that pail up there?" Crane asks.

"I guess he's watched us do it so many times he knew how to do it," Brian says. "I can't believe they put cow pies in the bucket!"

I hear more than one person laughing and then I hear Hannah say, "stop it! That was a very mean thing they did to Becky! You guys shouldn't be laughing about it!"

"I'm not laughing about what they did to Becky, I'm just laughing that they thought of it. It was pretty clever," Crane says.

"Crane! How can you say that! You think that was pretty clever for a ten-year old and a twelve-year-old to dump cow pies on a poor girl?" Hannah says.

"No honey," Adam says, "you don't understand, we don't think what they did to _Becky_ was clever, or funny, we just think it would've been a good prank to pull on one of us."

"I think you guys forget how old they are and how much they look up to you," she says. "They pull pranks, because you guys pull pranks. Heidi stole a ring, because you guys stole something. She copies you guys so much."

It's quiet down there now. Do I copy them? What's she talking about? I go back to my bed and get my pillow and my puppy and pull my blanket off my bed. I put them on the floor in my doorway and lay down to listen some more, but I don't hear anything because I'm tired. I yawn. I'll have to get the ing later. I hug my puppy and hold it close to me and close my eyes.


	26. Chapter 26

When I wake up I'm still laying on the floor. Why am I laying on the floor? I think for a while and then I remember I was going to take the ring from Adam's dresser and hide it. It's dark downstairs so that must mean everyone's in bed. I could sneak in his room and hope he doesn't wake up while I take it. Ok, he's always saying I don't think before I do stuff, so I'm going to think. What bad thing could happen if I steal the ring?

If I take the ring, Adam's gonna look for it. He's gonna ask _me_ where it is or if I took it. Then he's gonna be mad because eventually I'll have to tell him I took it, and then I'll still have to take it back to the store, _and_ I'm gonna get in trouble for taking it. I'm glad I thought about this before taking the ring, because this is a stupid plan!

I get up off the floor and get back in bed. I'm really nervous about taking the ring back to the store. I'm so nervous my stomach starts to hurt. I wonder what time it is. 4:30. I don't feel tired, I feel like getting up and doing something, but what? I look around my room and see my markers. I could draw something. I get up and get my markers and the paper I was drawing with earlier, and kneel down on the floor in front of my bed.

I look at the horse I drew. It's not finished yet, so I could finish it, but I don't feel like it. I get a clean sheet of paper and stare at it. I know! I'm going to write a letter to Adam. It'll be hard to do with my left hand, but I'm gonna try my best. I get my book to put the paper on so it's easier to write, and I pick up the purple marker.

"Dear Adam," I write.

"I'm sorry I stole the ring. Steeling is rong."

I put the purple marker down and pick up the orange one.

"I'm sorry I broke the truck window with a hamer. I shood have thot it mite brake sumthing."

I put the orange marker down and pick up the green one.

"I'm sorry I put cow pies in Becky's hair. That was mean and not nice. I woodint like it if some one did that to me. She didn't deeserv that."

I put the green marker down and pick up the blue one.

"I'm sorry I don't think. I will try to think more."

I put the blue marker down and pick up the brown one.

"I'm sorry I do bad things. I'm sorry I make you mad all the time."

I put the brown marker down and pick up the red one.

"I love you!" Then I draw a heart and write my name.

There. I look at it. I wish there was room to draw a picture on it, but all the writing took up the whole page. I could draw a picture on the back. I turn the paper over and stare at it. What should I draw for Adam? I know, I'll draw a picture of him and me.

I draw a picture of Adam and draw him with a sad face. Then I draw a picture of me with a sad face too, but I draw tears on the cheeks. I write Adam's name underneath the picture of him, and I write "me" underneath the picture of me. I look at it and turn the paper over so I can read what I wrote again. Then I remember Hannah always asks if I forgive her when she says she's sorry. I pick up the yellow marker and write in small letters, "p.s. will you forgiv me?"

There! Now it's done. I get up and walk out into the hallway and over to Adam and Hannah's room. The door is shut so I slide the letter under the door. I hope he likes it. I run back into my room and get in bed. I'm tired now so I hug my puppy close to me, close my eyes, and go to sleep.

* * *

It's 8:30 when I wake up. I sit up and stretch. I still feel tired but I'm hungry so I get up. As I'm walking downstairs I smell bacon. It smells good. Brian, Guthrie and Ford are the only ones in the kitchen. I say good morning to them and sit down.

"There's some bacon left," Brian says, "do you want me to cook you some eggs or pancakes, or both?"

"Pancakes please. Where is everybody? Where's Hannah?" I ask.

"Hannah is working at Marie's," Brian says.

Oh right, she has to make money for the window I broke. "Where's everyone else?"

"Outside working. You and Guthrie need to go clean up the mess you made in the barn last night. You can do it when you're done eating."

"I thought I was going to Sonora today with Adam."

"You are, but I'm not sure what time you're going, so you should do your chores first," Brian says as he puts a plate of pancakes down in front of me.

"Who's going with us?" I ask.

"I don't know."

"I hope I get to go," Guthrie says.

"Me too," Ford says.

"Finish up your breakfast guys, there's lots of work to get done today," Brian says and we all groan.

* * *

After breakfast Guthrie and I clean up the cow pie mess in the barn. Actually it's mostly Guthrie who cleans it up since it's too hard for me to do with one hand. After that I feed the chickens, because that's easy to do with one hand. While I'm doing that Evan rides over to the barn on Diablo.

"Hey Heidi!" He yells. "Adam wants to talk to you. He's over at the house."

"What does he want to talk to me about?" I yell.

"I don't know!"

"What about Guthrie?" I yell.

"He didn't say Guthrie. Just you!"

I groan and start walking over to the house. Why does he just want to talk to me? I bet he's not even gonna talk, he's probably just gonna yell! I walk to the house as slow as I possibly can.

* * *

When I get to the house I slowly open the front door. I don't see anyone in the living room. Maybe Adam left. I think about closing the door and going back out to the barn, but I don't think he'd like that, so I walk inside and close the door. Adam is just coming out of his room and he has something in his hand. It looks like my letter.

"Hi," he says. "Let's go sit on the couch."

I follow him over to the couch, but he sits on the coffee table. Darn, I don't like it when he sits there.

"Why do you have to sit there? Why can't you just sit next to me on the couch?" I ask.

"This way I can see you."

"You can see me if you sit on the couch too," I tell him, even though I know it won't make a difference.

"This way we can see eye to eye."

"Are you going to yell at me?" I ask. I look down at the couch and find a loose thread on the cushion that I can pull at.

"I'm not _planning_ on yelling at you." We're both quiet for a while and then he says, "I like the letter you made."

I look up at him and he's smiling at me while he holds the letter up. I smile back.

"I like everything you wrote except for one thing."

Uh oh. "What?"

"You wrote 'I'm sorry you make me mad all the time'."

"Why don't you like that? Do I make you even madder than that?" I ask while my eyes start to water. I look down at the couch and pull on the loose thread some more. I didn't know I made him _that_ mad.

He laughs. "No you don't make me madder than that! Heidi, look at me." I look up at him. "Are you crying?" I nod my head and he gets up and sits next to me on the couch. He puts his arm around me and hugs me close to him. He kisses the top of my head and says, "you don't make me mad _all_ the time."

I look up at him. "I don't?"

"No," he says as he wipes my tears away. "I get mad at you when you do things you're not supposed to do, but that's not _all_ the time. You make me happy _lots_ of the time. Do you know how happy this letter made me? It almost made me cry."

I look up at him and laugh. "No it didn't!"

He squeezes me and says, "yes it did!" He turns the letter over so the picture is showing. "Now explain this picture to me, why did you draw me sad, and why are you crying?" He asks.

"You're sad because of the bad things I do. You're disappointed. I'm crying because I feel bad that you are sad, and I'm sorry I do bad things. I'm sorry I don't think before I do things." I start to cry again.

"Come here," he says while moving me onto his lap.

"Adam I'm really sorry," I cry.

"I know," he says. "I'm glad you're sorry. I'm also glad you're sorry about what you did to Becky, because last night it didn't seem like you were sorry at all for what you did to her."

"I wasn't. I'm sorry." I stop hugging him and look in his eyes. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"I almost did another bad thing last night," I tell him.

"What?" He looks serious.

"I was going to take the ring from your dresser and hide it somewhere so I wouldn't have to take it back." I look in his eyes and he doesn't look mad. "Doesn't that make you mad?" I ask.

"Did you do it?"

"No. I thought about it and then I thought it would be a dumb thing to do because you would figure out I took it, and then I'd be in even more trouble than I already am," I say.

"You thought right. I'm glad you thought about that before you did it. Im proud of you for thinking."

"You are?"

"Yes. That's what I want you to do. I want you to think before you do something to see if what your going to do is going to hurt someone, or something, or get you into trouble. I'm also proud of you for making the letter. I'm glad you're sorry for all those things." He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head up so I can look in his eyes. "Heidi, I forgive you."

"You do?" I ask excitedly.

"Yes, I do. _But_, that doesn't mean there are no consequences or punishment for you."

"Oh," I say sadly.

"We can talk about all that stuff later tonight with Guthrie. We also need to come up with a plan of how you guys are going to work off paying for the store window and the truck window. We can do that with Hannah later tonight too. But right now we have a ring to return."

I groan. "Adam, I'm scared to take the ring back."

"I know, but you have to do it."

I hug him as tight as I can and whisper, "I don't want to."

"I know." He hugs me tight and then moves me off his lap. "It's time to go now." He gets up and I follow him. "I'm going to put this letter up in my room and get the ring. Then I'll be ready to go."

I wait by the front door for him. I hope it takes him a long time to get the ring, but it doesn't. He's down here pretty quick. We get our jackets and head out to the truck.

* * *

The ride to Sonora seems long. Adam tries to talk to me but I tell him I don't feel like talking.

"I understand. Are you feeling nervous?" He asks.

"Yes." I lean against the door and stare out the window. The radio is on, but not loud, and I don't feel like singing along. My stomach hurts the whole way there.

When we pull into the store's parking lot I start to feel really scared. After Adam parks the truck he gets out, but I don't. He walks over to my side and says, "come on, get out." He starts to open the door.

I shake my head no at him and lock the door so he can't open it.

"Heidi, unlock the door and come out," he says. I look at him and he doesn't look mad that I did that. "I know you're scared, but you have to do this."

He waits for me to come out, but I shake my head no again.

"I would really like _you_ to unlock the door, instead of me using the key." He holds up his keys for me to see.

Well, that was dumb of me. I forgot about the keys, so I unlock the door. At least he's not mad at me for doing that. He opens my door.

"Get out now," he says quietly.

"I'm scared," I say back. I look up at him and start to cry.

"I know you're scared." He puts his hand on the top of my head and slides it down the side of my cheek. "I remember exactly how you feel. I felt the same way when I had to return something I stole. But I'll do the same thing for you, that dad did for me. I'll hold your hand and I'll be there with you the whole time."

"I'm still scared. What if they put me in jail!"

"They're not going to do that. Heidi, look at me." I look at him and he says, "I'm not going to let them put you in jail. I promise." He holds out his hand to me. "When we get in the store we'll go to the front desk and I'll ask to speak with the manager. Then you show the manager the ring you stole, and you tell him you took it, and that you're sorry. Ok?"

I nod my head. "You'll be with me the whole time?" I ask.

"Yes. Get out of the truck now and take my hand."

I take his hand after I get out of the truck. "Can we walk slow?" I ask.

"Just a little."

We walk to the store kind of slowly, and when we get to the door I remember how much fun I had playing with the doors when we were here the other day. It makes me feel sad. "I want to go home!" I yell, and I try to run back to the truck, but Adam's still holding on to my hand so I can't go anywhere.

He crouches down in front of me and looks into my eyes. "You can do this," he says.

"I don't want to," I cry so he hugs me.

After a minute he says, "stop crying now. You can do this," he says. "I'll be with you the whole time."

I calm down after a while and he stands up and smiles down at me. "Ready?" He asks, holding out his hand to me.

I nod and take his hand and walk into the store with him. He walks up to the front desk and talks to the lady standing at it.

"Can I help you?" She asks.

"I'd like to speak to the manager," Adam says.

"Sure," she says, "he's right over there. I'll go get him."

Adam gives me the ring to hold while I watch her walk around the counter and over to a short, fat man who's straightening up a shelf full of sweaters. She talks to him and then they look over at us. The lady stays at the shelf and straightens the sweaters, while the manager comes over to the front desk.

"May I help you?" He asks. He's smiling and looks really nice, but that's probably gonna change when I tell him what I did.

Adam says, "yes. My daughter has something she'd like to tell you."

His what! I look up at him and he smiles down at me. The manager looks at me and smiles and I feel Adam squeeze my hand a little.

"Yes?" The manager asks.

I look up at Adam and he nods and says, "go ahead."

I look at the manager and hold the ring up to him. "I'm very sorry, I stole this ring from your store." I say that really quietly, but I know the manager heard me because he's not smiling anymore. He takes the ring from me and looks at it.

"It's a very pretty ring," he says. "Thank you for bringing it back. I'm sure that was hard for you to do." I nod my head and he starts saying other stuff that I don't hear because I'm not listening to him. Instead I'm thinking about what Adam just said.

He called me his daughter. People that don't know us call me his daughter and they call him my dad. Sometimes we correct them and sometimes we don't. But I don't think I've ever heard Adam call me his dau...,"

"Heidi?" Adam says. He's squeezing my hand a little bit harder. I look up at him. He doesn't look mad, but because I wasn't listening I don't know what he wants.

"What?" I ask.

"He asked you a question," Adam says. Then he tells the manager, "I don't think she heard you."

The manager looks down at me and says, "do you think you can shop in my store without stealing something again?"

I nod my head and I feel Adam give my hand a little squeeze. "Yes," I tell him.

"Good. Then you can come back and shop in my store anytime. I hope...,"

He wasn't going to let me shop in his store? I didn't know he could do that! I feel my hand being squeezed a little bit again so I look up at Adam.

"Say goodbye," Adam tells me quietly.

"Goodbye. I'm really sorry," I add.

The manager smiles at me and nods his head. I feel Adam leading me over to the door. I follow him and once we're outside he crouches down in front of me and says, "I'm proud of you."

"I'm sorry I stole the ring. I promise I'll never steal anything from a store again!"

"Ok," he says. "I'm going to hold you to that promise." He hugs me and I feel happy now. My stomach doesn't hurt anymore.

"You're feeling better now, aren't you?" He asks. I nod my head and he says, "when you do the right thing it makes you feel good inside."

We hug for a little while longer and then he stands up. We start walking back to the truck and I reach for his hand and hold it.

"Are we going anywhere else while we're here?" I ask. "Like out to lunch?" I smile up at him.

"No. This is a trip to return something you stole. It's not meant to be a _fun_ trip."

"Oh," I say sadly. We walk quietly back to the truck. Once we're there and we're both in the truck I ask, "Adam, how come you called me your daughter?"

He looks at me and smiles. "Sometimes it's just easier to say that to people instead of saying you're my sister, but I said it today because I think of you like that."

"You do?"

"Yes. If I'm your dad, then you must be my?" He pauses so I can finish the sentence.

"Daughter!" I yell while smiling.

"Right!" He gives me a hug and kisses the top of my head. "Now, let's listen to some music while we drive back home."

He turns the radio on and starts singing, but I'm not ready to sing yet, because I'm too busy staring up at Adam and smiling.

* * *

**Sorry there were so many chapters! This story kind of took on a life of its own. Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it. Thank you to those of you who review, you don't know how much those reviews mean to me. They really do help motivate me to keep the story going.**

**I hope you will read my next story!**


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